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A generic roleplay in search of treasure. Because we need more casual roleplays to keep peoples attention.

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Steven unfurled the map. The paper was darkened with age, but the black ink strokes still stood out on the paper. There was no mistaking it; it was a map to treasure. What a surprise he'd simply found it.

Later that day, Steven Lordra, inhabitant of the village of Werin, took the map to the village center. He needed people to help him adventure, and find the treasure. The map had many treasures marked upon it's ancient parchment, but they would all take a good deal of adventuring to find.

When people asked, Steven said to them that they could come on an adventure with him, to help him find treasure. Of course, the treasure would all be shared equally. Such an adventure had not occured in a while, but the map had been found, and so one had to take place.

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Try not to use your main character; this RP is just for fun. I'll be making the adventures interesting and a bit insane, so don't use your main character with all the awesome history and stuff. Just make someone up quickly who will have a fun time.
On a personal rule of mine, omfgfiveparagraphposts wont be nessecary.

So just have your guy come up and say "Hi I'd like to come", and we'll be good to go.

"Awesome..." said Steven sarcastically under his breath. "Just what I needed."

[[Demonsul ruins my plans for 5 paragraph posts ;-; <--sad face]]

A tall and middle-aged man walked towards the town center with a freshly killed deer upon his shoulders.  He disappeared behind a house for several minutes before reappearing with a beautiful bow over his right shoulder and a quiver of arrows over his left.  The man had jet black hair and hazel colored eyes.  A light mustache complimented the short beard that covered the area around the smile on his face.  He wore a soft leather top with some pants made from animal skin.  The man walked towards Steven Lordra after understanding the reason why people were gathering and removed his brimmed hat.
"I am Hugh Statler the third.  In need of a woodsman on such a quest? I would be happy to accompany you," said the man with a smile.

Hugh jumped backwards, managing to avoid most of the vomit, but his shoes and legs were speckled with it.
"Ugh..." mumbled Hugh as he walked away and returned several minutes later with clean clothes.

Oceanus suddenly snaps out of a stupor, having switched off at the thought of a sizable marched. He swings up his shield and tries to draw his sword, only to get it stuck in it's sheathe. After breif moment of grunting and snarling, he tears the sword free of it's sheathe and holds it up. Apart from the fact it's caked with blood, which was what stop it sliding free easily, it looks like a nice sword.

"And here's where the fun begins..."

Oceanus lowers his shield, looking much more at ease now battle was upon them. "Let them come. We'll see if they're up to the challange..."

Oceanus swings his blade at the nearest bandit, quickly dispatching it. As the fight begins, he proves to be a fine swordsman, but this fact is downplayed somewhat by the fact his defense isn't so great... He gets bashed about alot and seems to always be off balance. In the end, he finds himself lieing on the floor, with a pitchfork wielding bandit standing above him. "Urm, need a little help here!"

From a distance he watched a battle unfold between a group of bandits and a band of adventurers who seemed to be undertrained and rather incompetent at fighting in general...

"great...I presume I'll be joining that battle any time soon right? aiding your band of pansy bandits against a couple of incompetent farmboys!" a rather sarcastic voice spoke

"uhm yes, that's what your purpose is, isn't it?! to fight against others, killing them and such things..." a slightly older bandit spoke with a voice pained with sorrow as it seemed

"yeah well, you do know that you ain't becoming any younger by standing on the same spot you big pile of lard! how about you move closer so we can actually hurt something!!!" the voice spoke once more with an even more sarcastic tone

"yes yes...gawd...sometimes I wish I never found you..." the bandit mumbled whilst running down the hill towards the adventurer called Steven

Steven who was too busy trying not to get hit by anyone didn't notice the older bandit running towards him...until...a giant axe flew right past him and landed a few inches from Hugh's feet...as he turned around, he watches the bandit stumble and fall face forward into a pile of horsepoo

"great...you give him one simple task and the big oaf fails even that...how hard is it to attack a complete pansy?! and what the hell is this smell...it smells as if something vomited!!!" a slightly angered voice spoke loudly to be heard by Steven and Hugh who both turned their heads towards oneother in order to ask what the other one said

"Down here farmboys! on the ground...and stop looking at oneother...it looks...wrong...now someone get me out of this filthy patch of ground, I could swear someone vomited here a few hours ago!" the voice spoke once again

carefully Steven walked towards the axe and grabbed it firmly and as he picked it up, a burning sensation was felt in his hands

"well...are you waiting for an invitation?! go slice that guys head of you ninny!" the voice spoke once more

Oceanus clambers to his feet, brushing himself off. He nods at Hugh and smiles, then looks around for his disgarded sword. He picks it up, sheathes it, then turns to the rest of the group before starting to look at the dead corpses of many many bandits. He grins happily before turning his attention to Steven.

"What was this about a talking axe? First taste of battle, playing tricks on your mind, hm?" he states, eyeing the axe curiously.

"Bob, eh?" said Steven, stifling a chuckle. "Well, at least I'm not going mad..."

Oceanus looks at the axe in disbeleif for a moment. Then his eyes grow to a somewhat abnormal size and he falls over backwards in shock. He mutters quietly "And I didn't even know I was drunk!" before bashing his head on the ground a few times. He then pulls himself to his feet.

"So... Ignoring the fact I'm hearing voices, what happens now?" Oceanus asks, curiously.

"Oh, sorry..." said Hugh as he threw the stick away and checked his pipe.  After investigating it for a moment, he realized that he was not hallucinating.
"Well, this is an odd situation...so what do we do now?" asked Hugh.

"Then off we go again! Hoardes of treasure, here we come!" announced Hugh as he pulled some arrows out of the dead corpses of bandits as he walked past them.

"how about we head back and ransack that village over there?! that's what the bandits usually did after a victorious battle...according to the bandit leader...you know the one who was my previous owner...that village is packed with dimwitted farmers and other kinds of stupid beings" the Axe spoke in an exited way

"wait...ehm...aren't you lot from that village?!" the Axe spoke highly sarcastic

Oceanus stumbles across a mess of plant life, a frown appearing on his face. Suddenly, a shout rends the air "If you can hear me, meet up at the ruin just ahead! You can see it over the top of the trees!" Oceanus paused for a moment, then looked over his shoulder as a look of pained realisation appeared on his face. "Oh... So they... Uh, weren't following me." Oceanus sighs before starting to fight his way through the undergrowth once more.

A

Spurius continued walking, holding his head and wishing he had something that could stop the hangover. Suddenly, he hit his head on a branch, fell backwards, and landed on his back.
"Argh!" yelled Spurius as he rested on the ground, after a few moments, he got back up and looked around.
Where the hell is everybody?
He continued walking, looking around. Surprisingly, his hangover was now going away, and he was able to pay more attention to his surroundings.
"If you can hear me, meet up at the ruin just ahead! You can see it over the top of the trees!" yelled somebody who sounded like Steven.
"Bullshit I can!" yelled Spurius, "I can't see any-Oh...there they are..."
Over the top of the trees, Spurius saw some large ruins. He ran towards them, and tripped over something.
"Argh! Today is not my day!" exclaimed Spurius as he looked back, seeing a steel longsword sticking out from the ground by the blade.
"Nevermind," said Spurius as he went back and began pulling on the hilt. After a few seconds, the blade came out, and Spurius fell backwards. He then got up and examined the weapon before wishing that he had a sheath. Suddenly, a branch above cracked and a sheath, along with a branch, landed on him. After several curse words, he got up, grabbed the sheath, and shoved his sword into it before buckling his new weapon.
"I wish I had a beautiful western woman," said Spurius.
Nothing happened, and Spurius cursed before walking off towards the ruins.

Steven turned to the axe. "You shut up, we aren't even there yet..." turning, he continued to push his way through the undergrowth. After a while, he came to the ruin. It was nothing more than a thick wall running in a square shape, with various breaches along it's perimeter. A turret, which had been visible above the trees, protruded from one corner. The remains of turrets resided on and around the other three.

After a few seconds, Steven noticed Oceanus wandering around the site. Calling out to him, he then noticed Spurius emerging from the trees. With only Hugh left, Steven unrolled the map to determine their position. "Hm...looks like the treasure is supposed to be in this ruin somewhere...although there doesn't appear to be much here."

Walking as he read, Steven stumbled on a flaw in the cracked stone tiles below. Inspecting the crack, he realised it was the edge of a trapdoor. "Well, at least we know where to go when Hugh gets here," he said aloud.

Hugh considered himself a great woodsman.  Normally, travelling through a forest would be easy, but it just didn't seem to be his day.  As soon as the group started heading for the forest, Hugh raced on ahead and climbed the closest tree that he could.  When he turned around to see the group, none of them were to be found.
"Son of a..." started Hugh before he was cut off.
"If you can hear me, meet up at the ruin just ahead! You can see it over the top of the trees!" shouted a voice that was ahead of him.  Hugh cursed and grabbed a vine that was hanging from the tree and planned to swing near the tree tops.  He made it about seven trees into the forest when the vine he grabbed unfortunately was a snake. 
"AHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Hugh as he dropped from the tree, which sounded more like a little girl shrieking that she saw a spider or something similar.  He fell through several branches, having broken them with his back.
"Oh god...I think I broke something," groaned Hugh as he cracked his back with his hands.  He then decided to stick close to the ground.  Hugh broke into a sprint in order to catch up to the group, but ended up tripping over a tree root and landing face first into a large ant hill. 

Hugh jumped to his feet and screamed while clawing at his face, trying to get the angry ants off of him.  Several minutes later, Hugh found a nice stream and dipped his face in it in order to cool the painful bite marks.  Surprisingly, nothing bad happened by the time he pulled his head out and wondered if it was a sign that his luck was changing for the better.  Feeling revitalized, Hugh jumped into the closest tree and swing towards the ruins, which were just a few yards away.  He stopped on the last limb of the last tree and saw the others waiting for him.
"Hey guy! I am up heee-AAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHH!!!" screamed Hugh as the dead tree that he was standing on tipped over with him still on it.  The tree almost landed on everyone else, and it also smashed through the trap door that Steven was examining.  Hugh woke up wondering where the hell he was when he noticed that he was laying near the others.
"Hey guys!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

Oceanus looked about, somewhat confusedly. "Okay, so one second I'm standing outside nursing my foot, and the next I'm stuck in a hole in the ground with an uprooted tree above me..." He growls, somewhat angrily, then looks around. "So, we have red, we have green, we have blue and we have decidedly unimaginative. If you put it like that, the unimaginative one sounds best - I mean, we'd see all the traps coming, wouldn't we?" Oceanus exclaims brightly, seeing the silver lining. Or at least, what is a silver lining in his opinion. "Because, after all, it's inevietable that there will be traps, so we might aswell go the way where we'll see them coming! So, who's with me?"

Oceanus smiles brightly as he takes a step towards the door, his annoyance at a tree landing on him having disappated, untill he trips over a sizable branch that came away from the tree. "Argh! Jeeze, I haven't even gone through the door and I'm on the floor AGAIN!" Oceanus lies face down on the floor for some time, only rising after the others have chosen their door and scurrying off after Hugh.

"Well, seeing as only one person seems to have a theory, we're going through the blank door," said Steven resolutely.

As they ventured down the corridor, they came to a long hallway, which stretched off to infinity in both directions. There was no end in sight, but a creaking sound could be heard.

"What is this?" said Steven, his voice echoing into the endless tunnels.

All of a sudden, the creaking noise rose to a dull roar punctuated by earth-shaking smashes, as something came rushing down the corridor at high speed. Steven turned, and to his surprise, saw a giant stone mallet racing down the corridor on a metal cart, smashing everything in front of it.

"Run!" yelled Steven, dashing down the corridor away from the wheeled monster. Calling back to the others who were also fleeing, he yelled, "Anyone got any ideas on how to stop that?!"

Spurius ran faster than he ever had before, in front of the group and away from the giant mallet.
"Save yourselves!" yelled Spurius as he ran before smashing his shoulder against a bar, he tumbled to the ground as the others ran past him, knowing that his end was near. However, he wasn't smashed into pieces, and as he looked up, he saw that the cart had derailed, and that the bar was actually a lever that caused the track to shift. Spurius suddenly felt a deep throbbing pain in his shoulder, so he took out his flask and took a big drink.

"I have no clue," muttered Spurius as he walked out drinking from his flask with a serious dead-arm.

Oceanus looks about, panting quietly after the sudden sprint. A frown appears on his face, then he begins to grumble. "Bah, nevermind any stupid treasure, I want to get out of this damn place!" he says to no one in particullar before starting towards the new opening. He wanders to the broken through door and looks about briefly, blinking in the light. He takes a step forward, then smiles, and takes another step forward, then promptly yelps and falls flat on his face.

Oceanus had caught his foot on a... discarded wheel. When he fell, he caught one of the spokes and dislodged it, causing it to fly through the air and land next to him. He growls, picks up the spoke, then throws it back towards the group. It's only as it flies through the air that he realises it happens to be made of gold...

"This adventure is painful, good thing I have my flask," said Spurius as he took a drink, he then noticed that his flask was empty.
Damn my luck...

"Follow me!" said Hugh as he began leading the group back to town.  The sun began lowering over the horizon and it grew darker outside.  They all were passing near the site where they fought the bandits earlier, but something didn't feel right.  Hugh looked up in time to see clouds gather above their area and a downpour started.
"Great...just great...It can't possibly get any worse!" growled Hugh as his clothes immediately became soaking wet.  Almost immediately after Hugh closed his mouth, green light began suddenly appearing past some trees.  Hugh moved closer to inspect the strange phenomena when he suddenly turned around and ran back to the group.
"The-the-the bandits are back!" he screamed in his little girl voice as a group of undead bandits groaned and moaned as they moved towards the group.
"You just had to say it couldn't get any worse DIDN'T you Hugh?" sighed Steven.

Oceanus closes his eyes for but a moment before snapping them open again. In an abnormal display of not sucking, he calmly pulls a soft leather hood up over his head before he slides his sword from it's sheathe, raising his shield. "This time, I don't intend to take it easy." he snarls, digging his feet into the softened ground, preparing to charge into the crowd of zombies. "Oh and by the way Hugh... Remind me to beat you later, you've gone and jinxed us..." he adds, surprisingly brightly, considering the oncoming hordes of zombie bandits.

Oceanus grins as the zombies reach the group. He charges forth into their midst, dropping onto one knee, then spinning on the spot, kicking the legs out from all the zombies surrounding him. He then drives his sword into the skulls of the first two zombies he sees before turning his attention to the zombies that are still standing. He swings for the neck of a nearby zombie, quickly severing it's head and dispatching it, then swings for the neck of another, missing, but following the blow up with a shield bash, knocking the zombie to the ground. His carelessness has got him surrounded, but Oceanus doesn't appear to care. Every time the group get close to swarming him, he either drops to one knee and knocks them to the ground or spins on the spot with blade outstreched. He let out a mighty yell before making another charge, hacking and slashing his way through the swarms "You picked on the wrong peeved ex-mercenary today, you stupid bandits!"