Forums / Roleplaying / Land Of Darkness
Land Of Darkness | ||||
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05:47:53 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: Ok my first one so dont be so harsh guys =)
Chapter one-The messanger
Lightning cracks and rain pours down upon a little cottage in the plains of Dalmasca. Inside a young man is sitting in a rocking chair fiddling a piece of wood into a pipe. There is a light knock at the door and the young man gets out of his chair and slowly and quietly walks towards the door.
Whose there, says Justin.
Messanger from the king my lord, comes a voice behind the door.
Justin grabs the dagger he has sitting on the end table at the end of the hallway. He continued towards the door not trusting who they actually said they were. He gets to the door and cracks it open enough to see a man standing in black clothes but he could see his face enough to see a chilled look on his face.
Slide the note under the door and leave said Justin.
The messanger quickly does as he is told and just as fast takes off running.Justin picks up the note and begins to read:
Justin, I know you have retired as an assassin but Dalmasca needs your help. Lord Vaine of Estovokia has commenced attacks on any civillian village or any outpost of Dalmasca without mercy. He is killing women and children and hanging our soldiers. There are some generals i need you to take care of so we can finally destroy this massacre. You must me meet in 4 days but be warned, no one can see us meeting so you have to sneek into my chambers. Safety and Peace old friend King Trendkill
Immedietly after reading the letter Justin tosses it into the fire and quickly walks to his study room at the back of the cottage. He moves behind his desk and starts to rip up the floor boards. Justin looks upon the black hole that now layed in his floor and a very chilling smirk appeared on his face.
[thats the end of chapter one] | ||||
05:48:51 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic: Have you ever played a game caled Final Fantasy 12? | ||||
05:49:45 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: No why? | ||||
05:56:29 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic: Its just that Dalmasca is the name of a major kingdom in Final Fantasy 12 its pretty much the main place in the game and Vaine is the antagonist of the game. Anyways its pretty good. A bit to much like the Shadows recently made by Ernie. | ||||
05:59:03 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: Hmm wish i woulda have known that i would have changed the whole story. oh well to late hope u guys enjoy tho. | ||||
06:30:27 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: It isnt like mine that much except the assassin part ._. mine was kinda like : Unknown person hired Ernie, who has an friend named Septim, who kills high ranking people in two kingdoms to collapse them and bring about a new kingdom X_x his involves actually fighting for one side -.- good work so far. And maybe instead of having dialogue like: Justin then looked at the man. Hello there. The man saw Justin. Hello. I find that not doing the whole "He said, and then Justin said." thing makes it smoother, not like a book you buy from a store which is probably like that. But I think Septim does it the way you are doing it....(of course its 12:30 am and i forget why im up still) | ||||
06:35:48 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: u must live in the eastern united states then cuz its only 9:30 pm here. Ok wll ill post the second chapter soon. thats a long one. See there was a certain way i wanted to write the dialog but i didnt know if u guys would kno who was talking and wat not. | ||||
06:36:41 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: u must live in the eastern united states then cuz its only 9:30 pm here. Ok wll ill post the second chapter soon. thats a long one. | ||||
06:52:45 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic: Wow thats vaguely creepy me and Ernie both live on the Eastern Coast.
Also Justin did you want to write dialogue like this?
There wer to people in the room.A servan and a master. The servant said "Lunch is served" "Really is that so" "Yes Duck and Cavier" "I can't wait to dig in With each line the other person begins speaking? | ||||
07:17:08 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: Ok here we go again and brutii u better be reading this stuff cuz its go u in it. Chapter 2-into the belly of the beast
He reaches into the dark hole and starts to pull something heavy out of it. Imerging from the blackness comes a dark chest. He dropped the chest on whats left of the floor with a loud thud. Slowly cracking the chest open remember why he sealed it in the hole in the first place. Inside laid black robes, capes and a black hoods. Swords made of blacken steel. Daggers made in the pits of hell itself. Throwing knives so sharp they could pierce the thickest of any armour. A longbow made by the elves in the Dark Forest with arrows as black as their hearts. He slowly puts on his equipment; belt filled with daggers, left arm covered in throwing knives. Sword strapped to his left leg and arrows firmly sitting in the pouch on his back. He slung the bow over his shoulder adn walked towards the door taking one last look at his home before he left. He traveled 3 days without sleep covering 60 sqaure miles finally reaching the palace of Dalmasca. He had to wait for night so he wouldnt be spotted so he set up camp 100 feet away from the walls. After 15 minutes he fell asleep only to be woken up by some kicking at his side.
Get up old man, u shouldnt be sleeping during the day. Immedietly Justin's reactions kicked in and he had a dagger at the mans throat within a snap of his finger.
Well i see retirement hasnt harmed your reaction time none.
BRUTII!!! What are u doing here?
If you dont mind Jusitn could u lower the dagger.
Oh, sorry, so answer the question, what are u doing here?
King sent me a letter, what about you?
Im guessing you have the same letter as me Brutii, im here to talk to the king. So have u thought of any ideas on how to get to the kings chamber?
I though thats why u were here Justin. Your always the one to come up with the stupid ideas.
Behind them Justin heard the noise of a cart.
I have an idea now Brutii.
He ran quickly towards the noise with Brutii on his heels. When they go to the top of the hill Justin pointed towards the cart and the two men sitting on it. Brutii nodded knowing what Justins plan was. Out of the bushes Justin leaps in the air grabing the passanger and pulling him off the cart hitting him in the head knocking him out. Brutii at the same time grabs the driver and does the same. They took the merchants clothes and put them over their equipment hiding it from the guards. They got past the guards at the gate and headed towards the Green Dragon Inn. They got a room and sat on the floor discussing on how to get to the chamber.
So Justin, you still do have all your skills right?
Why do i not like the sound of this?
Ok see where the guard walkways has a long strip missing from the tower that keeps the walkway from completing?
Ya??
Well thats were the garbage goes down. And i believe that those walls are close enough for you to jump all the way up and lower the rope i brought down to me.
Luck wasnt on their side, it started to rain and thunder was roaring in the distance. They had to sneek past all the guards to get to the walls. But it didnt matter, they were ghosts, no one spotted them. When they go to the wall, Justin slung the rope around his neck and under his arm. He started his ascent, slipping from the wet wall almost. When he reached the edge, he hung there for a second, exhausted from the trip. As he pulled himself up adn over, he met a gaurd face-to-face. The guard starts to yell ALA.... but it was to late, Justin grabbed a dagger and jabbed it from under his jaw and up connecting the lower jaw to the upper. Then he grabbed another dagger and sliced his throat killing him instantly. He wrapped the rope around his waist and threw the other end over the edge hitting Brutii in the head. Brutii started his ascent adn when he got up to the edge he climbed over and took one step and tripped on the dead guard.
Sorry Brutii, he met me face-to-face there was no other choice. And by the way, next time u climb the walls.
*chuckles* its ok Justin, and its a deal. Lets get going before we get spotted.
Swiftly and quitely the duo made their way up the spiral stair case. When they reached the door that led into the kings chamber. Justin creeked it open seeing the king sitting at his desk and finally opening the door all way.
My lord, its Justin, im here along with Brutii.
With no answer Justin ran over to the king and but his hand on his shoulder noticing his hand was wet he looked at it and it was drenched in blood. then he noticed the dagger in the kings neck and then came a strange familiar voice from the darkness.
[end of chapter 2, ill try and get 3 wrote tonight] | ||||
07:23:00 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: Good so far....and if you didnt know that SHIFT + the ENTER key makes it so that you dont make such large spaces between lines.....it stretches things out more than they are needed... | ||||
07:28:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: oh i just pressed the enter key. Oh and just so everyone knows, when i right this for now on when there is a dialog between 2 ppl a different line is somone else talking. | ||||
07:40:00 Jun 19th 08 - Prince Bertilius Septim II:
*Septim pulls out a stamp with the letters "SPELL CHECKED" and stamps Justin's head before running off. | ||||
07:44:17 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: thanx septim, ill make sure when i type for now on, that im not in such a hurry | ||||
07:48:25 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: You have alllll the time in the world.....unless you are on Zeta...it goes KABOOM in about a day | ||||
07:50:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: im on Mant, im in angels | ||||
08:09:09 Jun 19th 08 - Lord Ragnarr: Good work, Justin. (: | ||||
08:10:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin: Thanx guys, i g2g i want to right chp. 3 | ||||
04:47:45 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin: Chp. 3- Escape
Hahaha, the two greatest assassins the world has ever seen lured here by a letter....You two are pathetic. | ||||
05:29:01 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: [oops sry...I made my title kind of similar to yours ._. but at least the meaning is different.....wasnt thinking about it since I came up with the title right after I finished "The Shadows"] | ||||
05:50:35 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin: ERNIE!!!!!!! hey ernie quick question do you get awarded RP points for writing stories? | ||||
05:54:11 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: ....i copy and paste my stories from here to Septim because you dont get RP points from the RP forums XD | ||||
06:22:15 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin: can i send them to u? | ||||
06:38:39 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: sure anytime | ||||
06:51:05 Jun 21st 08 - Mr. Justin: Chp. 4- Redemption
As Brutii and Justin emerged from the water, the churchs bell starts to ding in the distance as an alarm. They could hear soldiers yelling on the other side of the walls. Knights saddled on horses storing out of the front gates. | ||||
07:04:18 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin: Chp. 5-Captain of the Guards | ||||
07:16:10 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: ☺ | ||||
07:18:21 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin: so how do you guys like it so far? | ||||
07:20:50 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange: [My smilie speaks for itself...] | ||||
07:25:50 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin: pissed mmy friend off from school cuz i ended it with a name. She was begging me to get the next chp. wrote lol | ||||
09:42:34 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Spud: It's pretty good Justin but can use a few things. Some things done make any sence and you really need to work on your grammer and spelling. Other than that, I like your plot and style of writing. Your ch*beep*ems to be somewhat like my RP char. Mine is a lone Elf assassin but is a holy one. He only kills if it is completely necessary. Also. I know a little magic myself. ....man, I should write a story. | ||||
09:45:33 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin: ya see i wrote this to my friend femke and she said she loved it and i copied and pasted it to here not realizing any of that, next time ill take more time to look at it thanx spud. | ||||
09:46:15 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Spud: No problem. I call it "constructive critisism". | ||||
09:47:53 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin: better than Fantasia Critisim lol | ||||
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