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Land Of Darkness
05:47:53 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

Ok my first one so dont be so harsh guys =)

 

Chapter one-The messanger

 

Lightning cracks and rain pours down upon a little cottage in the plains of Dalmasca. Inside a young man is sitting in a rocking chair fiddling a piece of wood into a pipe. There is a light knock at the door and the young man gets out of his chair and slowly and quietly walks towards the door.

 

Whose there, says Justin.

 

Messanger from the king my lord, comes a voice behind the door.

 

Justin grabs the dagger he has sitting on the end table at the end of the hallway. He continued towards the door not trusting who they actually said they were. He gets to the door and cracks it open enough to see a man standing in black clothes but he could see his face enough to see a chilled look on his face.

 

Slide the note under the door and leave said Justin.

 

The messanger quickly does as he is told and just as fast takes off running.Justin picks up the note and begins to read:

 

Justin,

I know you have retired as an assassin but Dalmasca needs your help. Lord Vaine of Estovokia has commenced attacks on any civillian village or any outpost of Dalmasca without mercy. He is killing women and children and hanging our soldiers. There are some generals i need you to take care of so we can finally destroy this massacre. You must me meet in 4 days but be warned, no one can see us meeting so you have to sneek into my chambers. Safety and Peace old friend

                                                            King Trendkill

 

Immedietly after reading the letter Justin tosses it into the fire and quickly walks to his study room at the back of the cottage. He moves behind his desk and starts to rip up the floor boards. Justin looks upon the black hole that now layed in his floor and a very chilling smirk appeared on his face.

 

[thats the end of chapter one]


05:48:51 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic:

Have you ever played a game caled Final Fantasy 12?


05:49:45 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

No why?


05:56:29 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic:

Its just that Dalmasca is the name of a major kingdom in Final Fantasy 12 its pretty much the main place in the game and Vaine is the antagonist of the game.

Anyways its pretty good. A bit to much like the Shadows recently made by Ernie.


05:59:03 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

Hmm wish i woulda have known that i would have changed the whole story. oh well to late hope u guys enjoy tho.


06:30:27 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

It isnt like mine that much except the assassin part ._.   mine was kinda like : Unknown person hired Ernie, who has an friend named Septim, who kills high ranking people in two kingdoms to collapse them and bring about a new kingdom X_x his involves actually fighting for one side -.-  good work so far.  And maybe instead of having dialogue like:

Hello  Justin said.  you could try 

Justin then looked at the man.  Hello there.  The man saw Justin.  Hello.

I find that not doing the whole "He said, and then Justin said." thing makes it smoother, not like a book you buy from a store which is probably like that.  But I think Septim does it the way you are doing it....(of course its 12:30 am and i forget why im up still)


06:35:48 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

u must live in the eastern united states then cuz its only 9:30 pm here. Ok wll ill post the second chapter soon. thats a long one. See there was a certain way i wanted to write the dialog but i didnt know if u guys would kno who was talking and wat not.


06:36:41 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

u must live in the eastern united states then cuz its only 9:30 pm here. Ok wll ill post the second chapter soon. thats a long one.


06:52:45 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Ironic:

Wow thats vaguely creepy me and Ernie both live on the Eastern Coast.

 

Also Justin did you want to write dialogue like this?

 

There wer to people in the room.A servan and a master. The servant said "Lunch is served"

"Really is that so"

"Yes Duck and Cavier"

"I can't wait to dig in

With each line the other person begins speaking?


07:17:08 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

Ok here we go again and brutii u better be reading this stuff cuz its go u in it.

Chapter 2-into the belly of the beast

 

He reaches into the dark hole and starts to pull something heavy out of it. Imerging from the blackness comes a dark chest. He dropped the chest on whats left of the floor with a loud thud. Slowly cracking the chest open remember why he sealed it in the hole in the first place. Inside laid black robes, capes and a black hoods. Swords made of blacken steel. Daggers made in the pits of hell itself. Throwing knives so sharp they could pierce the thickest of any armour. A longbow made by the elves in the Dark Forest with arrows as black as their hearts. He slowly puts on his equipment; belt filled with daggers, left arm covered in throwing knives. Sword strapped to his left leg and arrows firmly sitting in the pouch on his back. He slung the bow over his shoulder adn walked towards the door taking one last look at his home before he left. He traveled 3 days without sleep covering 60 sqaure miles finally reaching the palace of Dalmasca. He had to wait for night so he wouldnt be spotted so he set up camp 100 feet away from the walls. After 15 minutes he fell asleep only to be woken up by some kicking  at his side.

 

Get up old man, u shouldnt be sleeping during the day. Immedietly Justin's reactions kicked in and he had a dagger at the mans throat within a snap of his finger.

 

Well i see retirement hasnt harmed your reaction time none.

 

 BRUTII!!! What are u doing here?

 

If you dont mind Jusitn could u lower the dagger.

 

Oh, sorry, so answer the question, what are u doing here?

 

King sent me a letter, what about you?

 

Im guessing you have the same letter as me Brutii, im here to talk to the king. So have u thought of any ideas on how to get to the kings chamber?

 

I though thats why u were here Justin. Your always the one to come up with the stupid ideas.

 

Behind them Justin heard the noise of a cart.

 

I have an idea now Brutii.

 

He ran quickly towards the noise with Brutii on his heels. When they go to the top of the hill Justin pointed towards the cart and the two men sitting on it. Brutii nodded knowing what Justins plan was. Out of the bushes Justin leaps in the air grabing the passanger and pulling him off the cart hitting him in the head knocking him out. Brutii at the same time grabs the driver and does the same. They took the merchants clothes and put them over their equipment hiding it from the guards. They got past the guards at the gate and headed towards the Green Dragon Inn. They got a room and sat on the floor discussing on how to get to the chamber.

 

So Justin, you still do have all your skills right?

 

Why do i not like the sound of this?

 

Ok see where the guard walkways has a long strip missing from the tower that keeps the walkway from completing?

 

Ya??

 

Well thats were the garbage goes down. And i believe that those walls are close enough for you to jump all the way up and lower the rope i brought down to me.

 

Luck wasnt on their side, it started to rain and thunder was roaring in the distance. They had to sneek past all the guards to get to the walls. But it didnt matter, they were ghosts, no one spotted them. When they go to the wall, Justin slung the rope around his neck and under his arm. He started his ascent, slipping from the wet wall almost. When he reached the edge, he hung there for a second, exhausted from the trip. As he pulled himself up adn over, he met a gaurd face-to-face. The guard starts to yell ALA.... but it was to late, Justin grabbed a dagger and jabbed it from under his jaw and up connecting the lower jaw to the upper. Then he grabbed another dagger and sliced his throat killing him instantly. He wrapped the rope around his waist and threw the other end over the edge hitting Brutii in the head. Brutii started his ascent adn when he got up to the edge he climbed over and took one step and tripped on the dead guard.

 

Sorry Brutii, he met me face-to-face there was no other choice. And by the way, next time u climb the walls.

 

*chuckles* its ok Justin, and its a deal. Lets get going before we get spotted.

 

Swiftly and quitely the duo made their way up the spiral stair case. When they reached the door that led into the kings chamber. Justin creeked it open seeing the king sitting at his desk and finally opening the door all way.

 

My lord, its Justin, im here along with Brutii.

 

With no answer Justin ran over to the king and but his hand on his shoulder noticing his hand was wet he looked at it and it was drenched in blood. then he noticed the dagger in the kings neck and then came a strange familiar voice from the darkness.

 

[end of chapter 2, ill try and get 3 wrote tonight]


07:23:00 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

Good so far....and if you didnt know that SHIFT + the ENTER key makes it so that you dont make such large spaces between lines.....it stretches things out more than they are needed...


07:28:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

oh i just pressed the enter key. Oh and just so everyone knows, when i right this for now on when there is a dialog between 2 ppl a different line is somone else talking.


07:40:00 Jun 19th 08 - Prince Bertilius Septim II:

Mr. Justin

Report


6/18/2008 11:28:28 PM

oh i just pressed the enter key. Oh and just so everyone knows, when i right this for now on when there is a dialog between 2 ppl a different line is somone else talking.

Mr. Justin

Report


6/18/2008 11:28:28 PM

Oh, I was just pressing the enter key. Oh and just so everyone knows, when I write this from now on, when there is a dialogue between 2 people, a different line will symbolize somebody else talking.

 

*Septim pulls out a stamp with the letters "SPELL CHECKED" and stamps Justin's head before running off.


07:44:17 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

thanx septim, ill make sure when i type for now on, that im not in such a hurry


07:48:25 Jun 19th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

You have alllll the time in the world.....unless you are on Zeta...it goes KABOOM in about a day


07:50:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

im on Mant, im in angels


08:09:09 Jun 19th 08 - Lord Ragnarr:

Good work, Justin. (:


08:10:28 Jun 19th 08 - Mr. Justin:

Thanx guys, i g2g i want to right chp. 3


04:47:45 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin:

Chp. 3- Escape

 

Hahaha, the two greatest assassins the world has ever seen lured here by a letter....You two are pathetic.

Whose there?Show yourself NOW!!!

Ah but i already have. To both of you when i delivered that stupid letter.

Justin look!!

Brutii was point to a pillar in the corner where a shadow had appeared.

Who are you???!!!

Does my reputation not precede me?

Vaine!!!!

Good boy Brutii to bad i dont have a bone i would reward you. But see now that you fools have murdered the king of Dalmasca, i guess there is no need to stay here and watch you get killed.

What do you mean?

Brutii listen.

Yelling and rustle of armour where coming up behind them form the other side of the door. The duo looked back behind them were Vaine had stood but there was no one. Then crashing through the door came 10 heavily armed guards. One on the left noticed the dead king slouched over his chair with the dagger in his neck. Immedietly he cam charging at Brutii his sword held so high. Brutii pulled out his notched steel sword  driving it through hisarmour and straight into his heart. A second guard struk at Justin but Justin quickly grabbed a dagger from his belt slicing the mans throat in an instant.

Justin we cant keep this up, their supposed to be allies.

I know, cover me i have an idea.

Justin un-slung his bow from his back while brutii covered him. Justin tided a rope around one end of the rope. He shot the arrow at a pillar cutting through it like it was butter almost coming out of the other side. Justin ran towards the window grabbing Brutii as he ran jumping out of the window. There was just enough rope to get them to the gaurds walk way below but before they could land safely, a guard in the tower had cut the rope.. Justin landed first on his hands and knees and Brutii landed right on top of him.

Brutii!!!!

Yes?

Knee off head please!

Oh sorry.

Just as they got up a guard came walking around the corner.

ASSASSINS!!!!!!

Justin grabbed a throwing knife from his left arm throwing it with all his might. He cut through that armour like it wasnt even there killing the guard instantly.

Now what Brutii?the only way down is to jump.

Then we jump.

The duo jumped to water 200 feet below.

[Thats the end of chp. 3, chp.4 is almost done]


05:29:01 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

[oops sry...I made my title kind of similar to yours ._. but at least the meaning is different.....wasnt thinking about it since I came up with the title right after I finished "The Shadows"]


05:50:35 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin:

ERNIE!!!!!!! hey ernie quick question do you get awarded RP points for writing stories?


05:54:11 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

....i copy and paste my stories from here to Septim because you dont get RP points from the RP forums XD


06:22:15 Jun 20th 08 - Mr. Justin:

can i send them to u?


06:38:39 Jun 20th 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

sure anytime


06:51:05 Jun 21st 08 - Mr. Justin:

Chp. 4- Redemption

 

As Brutii and Justin emerged from the water, the churchs bell starts to ding in the distance as an alarm. They could hear soldiers yelling on the other side of the walls. Knights saddled on horses storing out of the front gates.

Brutii hold for a second till those soldiers are gone.

Ok.

As the soldiers left they started to pull themselves out of the water when Justin slipped. He didnt notice at the time but he had suffered some type of wound. By the looks of it he had been skimmed by an arrow.

When did u get that?

I...I dont remember. An archer must have seen us.

Luckly it skimmed you, but we still need to wrap it up.

Brutii ripped a piece of fabric off his robe and wrapped it tightly over the wound.

There, all better.

Brutii look!

Soldiers with dogs were storming out of the gates.

We have to go to my house, lets go Brutii before we are spotted.

For 3 days they didnt rest in fear that they might wake up with a dog in their face. To make it with out actually being spotted they used the woods to cover their tracks. They arrived at Justin's house to late. Red and orange light shined above the hill. The house coverd in complete flames.

Looks like your house was a bad idea. Do you have any other ideas?

Ya but your not going to like it. Its one day travel but we can definetly find shelter.

The Dark Forest. It had been 2 years since Justin had ever been in the forest. He didnt know what was instore out there in the dark.

Traveling through snake infested swamps and through the thickest of brush was hard on the duo. When they finally reached where Justin said the marker was at they were met with an unwelcomed suprise. 10 bows and arrows point at them from 5 feet away.

I am Justin, friend of Sabbath, i have come to speak with him.

Outsiders are not allowed among us. LEAVE!!!! Before i decide to bury you out here.

I will not ask, i demand you take me to him. Go ask him for your self since you dont believe me that he knows me.

With and evil glare he was off, scalling the wall so fast he was gone in an instant. 2 hours later the elf returned with an embarrassed and ferious look on his face.

Come with me, but dont expect to get treated any different from our first encounter.

Wouldnt dream of it. Brutii wake up its time to go.

The leader led them to a hidden stair case behind a giant elvin oak tree. When they reached the top, it led to a thrown room. They were met by an elf like no other. He stood 7 feet tall. His eyes blacker then the nights sky. His clothes black along with his armour and covered with weapons.

So you have come back Justin.......Why?

Because Sabbath, i need your help.

Explain???

Lord Vaine of Estovakia has killed the king of Dalmasca and everyone in Dalmasca believes we killed them.

Why?

Vaine lured us there with a fake note from the king and killed him right before we got there.

HAHAHA its a proud day for an elf when a human asks for help.

Im asking as a friend Sabbath, not as an different race.

Calm down, calm down. I was only joking. Hmmm on one condition.

And that would be?

I get to come of course, dont expect me to let you have all the fun.

Though you would never ask.

Good let me get my battle armour on and we will leave as soon as possible.

Sabbath left and came back in 30 minutes later. He was dressed in black armour with a purple glare to it. His bow bigger then the one he gave Justin 2 years ago and also had a glare of purple to it.

Im ready, where are we going first?

Back to Dalmasca. The Captain of the Guards is an old friend of mine.

The trio set off for Dalmasca. Since Sabbath was with them they could bush walk cutting their time from 4 days to 2 days. When they arrived Justin already had a plan and they made it to Dalmasca just in time. They heard a wagon coming from the distant.

Hold here, i have to stop them before they get into eyes view of the guards at the gate.

Justin ran as fast as he could stopping the wagon that held an old man and his wife just in time.

Hold Mr. I need to ask you a question if you have the time.

Go ahead youngster i have all the time in the world.

I have a letter i need delivered to the Captain of the Guards. Ill give you 200 gold pieces if you deliver for me kind sir.

Well thats mighty generous but no need for the gold.

No please take it, you are doing me a great favor.

Thank you sone, i gaurantee that i will get it to him.

Thank you, have a good day.

When the old man got through the gate he did as he asked and headed straight for the Captains home.

[end of chapter 4, 5 coming real soon.]


07:04:18 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin:

Chp. 5-Captain of the Guards

The old man handed the letter to the captain himself. He had a puzzled look on his face sinze it had been years since he had gotten a letter from anyone.

Mustang,

Its been years old friend since we have stood on the field of battle, and now i need your help. We have been framed for the Kings murder by Vaine. He wants everyone to turn on us so it is easier to destroy us. I need yor help. We want to unite against Estovokia before Vaines slaughtering crusades whipe the entire world out. Pleas meet me outside the castle, im 100 feet from the walls to the north.
Your friend,
Justin

Sergent!!!

Yes my lord?

Watch my post for a while, i need to attend to something.

The captain saddled a horse and road off to were Justin was located.

Mustang, thank god you've come.

You have 5 minutes Justin, dont waist my time.

Mustang we have to unite against Vaine before it's to late.

Why should i risk my soldiers for u? You murdered our friend and king.

Mustang to you honestly believe im capable of killing a friend? You have to believe that we are innocent.

Mustang saw the innocance in his eyes.

How would we go about this?

You have the most honour then all of Dalmasca. You can convince them. I know your soldiers will always help you. We only need a distraction so we can get into Vaines room and finish this.

Give me an hour to assemble them. With no king they turn to me for leadership.

Mustang hurried to town sqaure gathering all the soldiers.

Soldiers of Dalmasca, I have discovered who murdered Trendkill. It was Vaine of Estovokia. We must band together and bring vengence to our people. IF we fight the road ahead will be difficult. Some of us may die, but i would rather fight along side you; my brothers, then an army of a thousands. Will you fight for me???

A roar came from the crowd of soldiers that could be herd for miles. Shields clahed against armour making it even louder.

Well brutii, looks like Mustang did it.

Yep, it would seem that way.

So Sabbath, are you ready for the finally battle.

Abosolutely.

Mustang road quickly to Justin.

Soldiers are getting heavy armourm swords, spears and horses. Oh and the great gates are opening.

The great gates???

Catapults Brutii. Only the Captain of the Guards can summon those and open the gates and looky here, im the Captain of the Guards. You said we need a distraction, and they are going to do just that.

We?

Yes Justin we. Im coming to.

Mustang if your going to come lose that armour adn those white clothes. Let me see....Sabbath do you have any extra robes and armour in that pack of yours.

I always bring a spare.

Mustang got dressed in the black robes and armour supplied by Sabbatj having to adjust it a lot since he was much smaller then Sabbath.

Ok let me go give the soldiers their final orders.

No need, here they come.

Coming down the path, soldiers dressed in the shinyest silver armour, square shields in left handsm swords sheathed to their left legs and spears 10 feet long in their left hands. 10 catapults brung up the rear. They were almost as tall as the walls of the castle themselves.

Ridding on a horse came the Sergent as fast has his horse could go.

Sir! All soldiers are ready for war.

Sergent when you get there, let the catapults rain hell. No soldiers attack until those walls crumble to the ground!

Yes sire, but arent you coming with us?

No, Justin, Brutti, Sabbath and I are going to sneek into the castle and finish the slaughters once and for all.

Yes my lord.. best of luck, old friend.

And to you as well.

Mustang we have to go, lets hurry.

Good bye soldiers of Dalmasca, we will meet again, in this life or the next.

Mustang..

[End of chapter 5, chp.6 coming soon]



07:16:10 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

 ☺


07:18:21 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin:

so how do you guys like it so far?


07:20:50 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Ernie The Orange:

[My smilie speaks for itself...]


07:25:50 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin:

pissed mmy friend off from school cuz i ended it with a name. She was begging me to get the next chp. wrote lol


09:42:34 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Spud:

It's pretty good Justin but can use a few things. Some things done make any sence and you really need to work on your grammer and spelling.

Other than that, I like your plot and style of writing.

Your ch*beep*ems to be somewhat like my RP char. Mine is a lone Elf assassin but is a holy one. He only kills if it is completely necessary. Also. I know a little magic myself.

....man, I should write a story. 


09:45:33 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin:

ya see i wrote this to my friend femke and she said she loved it and i copied and pasted it to here not realizing any of that, next time ill take more time to look at it thanx spud.


09:46:15 Jun 22nd 08 - Sir Spud:

No problem. I call it "constructive critisism".


09:47:53 Jun 22nd 08 - Mr. Justin:

better than Fantasia Critisim lol


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