Forums / Roleplaying / The Last Good Sp@mmer

Eons ago, before the reign of the current mods, before the birth of Septim, the good sp@mmers were numerous. Senturu, Efrandor, Arien, and many more walked the surface of Visual Utopia, their heads held high, and together, they brought about many laughs.

But after a while, the world was not kind to the sp@mmers, and eventually Arien and Efrandor left the world of Visual Utopia. Senturu remained, but he soon left on a journey, only to return when the last good sp@mmer was born...this is the story of that sp@mmer.

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Septim walked into the tavern to find that the crowd was still there, Senturu was still picking his replacement. Septim walked into the crowd and turned to see a strange man who was black on one half of his body, but white on the other.

"He hasn't decided yet!?" asked Septim.

"Nope, it's between me, Scientist, and Slayer," said the man, "I'm Sorank Seloc by the way."

"I'm Septim," said Septim.

Septim eventually got bored and grabbed a patron's beer bottle, he fitted a cloth into the top and lit the fuse. Suddenly, the bottle exploded and Septim caught on fire. Septim ran around screaming for help, but nobody helped. A grey skinned demon with green eyes muttered something to somebody near him. And Septim eventually jumped into a vat of liquid that turned out to be alcohol.

***"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"***

Septim had heard of a medication made far away, and after finally putting himself out, he crawled towards the crowd.

"Sorry...about...my...pyro...urges...anybody...have...some...aloe vera...please...i am very...badly...burnt..." muttered Septim as he crawled towards the crowd.

Nobody listened, it was then that Septim learned that Visual Utopia was a cruel place. He soon crawled out the door, hoping to go somewhere that he could treat his wounds. Soon, Seloc ordered a beer, and a bottle went flying through the window. Septim walked through the door, and Seloc sent a fireball at him.

"Where'd you get this?" he asked.

"Lloyd Christmas, by the way, it's leaking all over your clothes," said Septim as he watched the fireball hit a man named Tober.

Seloc looked down and disposed of the bottle, he then began cleaning his clothes. As he did that, Septim jumped out the window and ran off.

***

Septim returned to the tavern later that day wearing a hooded robe only to be beaten out of his seat by a Mr. Goldsie. Septim proceeded to knock him over the head with a drained glass of ale, and Goldsie used magic to trap Septim in a cube of frozen ale. After a few minutes, Septim managed to escape and noticed a new visitor, Ragnarr Stormguard. Ragnarr was bleeding from several wounds, and Septim decided to help him by giving him a potion. Ragnarr thanked him, and they shared a few tales.

***

After deciding that the tavern was a bit too boring, Septim decided that it'd be a bright idea to shank Goldsie, hide his body in the bathroom, and then smash the tough looking demon from before over the head with a beer glass. It did make things interesting, but not quite how he had hoped. The demon looked around with pure rage in his green eyes.

"Who dared smack me in the head?! Whomever did it must have a deathwish, attacking a halfdrunk demon..."

 He noticed that Septim was panting.

"It was you, wasn't it, Septim?! Just you wait..."

The demon got up and slowly walked towards Tiber, in the meantime his wings unfolded and the spikes on his back started to grow. Towering above Tiber, he stared down at the man before him.
"I dare you to try that again, you little fiend for I am the ruler of Carrothia, Demon of The Ancient Times, bringer of Death and Decay...I will crush you like an insect..."

Suddenly, from the bathroom, ran Goldsie.

"Mustn't fight, but's the filthy little Septim wants us to, no but we mustent, Scientist saids not to fights must obey Scientist, scientist brings the drinks, but Septim, but drinks, No we will not, YES we will, No, No?, Leave me, What!? Leave and never come back, LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK, LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!!! Hes gone, hes gone hehehe..."

The demon stared at Goldsie, and Septim used the distraction to slip away.

[[Oh jeez...I had no clue who you were >< thx for telling me...]]

oh i like but is that it

Oh let him tell his life story Osi...it may include you in there :p

Of course there's more...

As Septim slipped away, another figure approached, Sir Scientist. He raised his arms, and suddenly, a ring of fire stopped Septim from escaping. The ring of fire surrounded both Septim and Shezmu, and Septim decided that Scientist's skill in magic means that he is compensating for something else that he doesn't have.

""You two can finish it out there and return once you have settled your feud, I hate cleaning up after people fighting. All the torn clothes and pieces of flesh everywhere."

Scientist left, and Septim stood looking at Shezmu. Septim drew the Sword of the Imperial Dragon, which would later be called Firengard, and readied himself for combat. After a brief fight, Septim stabbed Shezmu in the heart, pulled it out, and cut off the demon's head. He pulled his blade from the demon and jumped out of the ring, catching himself on fire in the process.

"I'll take a water please..." said Septim.

"Sorry Tiber, as stated before, those flames do not go out. That was why you were supposed to end the fight. Since you have decided to forfeit, Shezmu wins. All those who bet shezmu please form a line over here and collect your free beer. As for you Tiber, you will never go out, not until I feel generous and end the spell that I put on those flames," said Scientist with an evil grin.

"Seeing as I chopped his head off, I thought I had won, so I decided to jump through. Oh well, sort of hurts. Can I have around forty ales then to numb the pain?" asked Septim as the flames burnt his flesh.

Septim then heard a whistle, and turned around to see Shezmu standing at the ready, his body fully healed.

"You forgot a few spots...you know I've lived long enough to have completely mastered the skill of instant regeneration...and you didn't stab my heart, you kinda tickled my liver...sooo is it my turn now or have I already won this battle?!" asked Shezmu with an evil grin.

"I'm not sure...are we done yet, Scientist, or shall we continue?" asked Septim.

Then Septim got an idea, he ran around the room dipping his arms into the vats of alcohol, setting them on fire.

"That'll teach him," he muttered to himself.

He then looked around to see a mob of alcohol deprived patrons.

"...uh-oh..."

After a brief beating, Septim saw Scientist swing his arms around like a windmill, putting out both Septim's and the vat's flames.

@Haldir - This is the story of Septim's life at VU :p Mostly Ye Olde Taverne so far..