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On a far away island, there lived a great pickle. But not just any pickle... The Pickle of Destiny.



This has amazing potential, go crazy.
Just remember, be as hilarious and awesome as u can. I used to do these in random chat rooms all the time, they rock!

*The High Elves Descend On The Scene, Mortal Enemies Of The Dark Elves...*

"RAM AT READY!!!! DONT LET THEM GET TO THAT PICKLE!!!!!WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL SHALL DESCEND UPON THE WORLD ONCE THE ALMIGHTY IS UNLEASHED!!!!!!!!!"

"oh, no....NOT THAT!!! SUMMON THE HIGH GODDESS!!!!!!!

*a high note is sang and with it, an angelic creature descends from the heavens above.....she speaks words of uncomprehenisble high elvish, then a large rumble is heard....everybody waits in silence....as if time itself had stopped....what was coming....what had the elves done?!?!!?*

*in the midst of the thundering black clouds, and the dark ones presence, a beam of light shines through, the clouds brighten and fallen ones of the wisest of high elves began their descent through the chaos......

*Kassius appears .......in the guise of a hobgoblin*

"DAMMIT i said i wanted to be a dragon ffs! oh weel ghneesh grush taechee stroke me clover!"

*Tikan'pde arrises from the water, his cloaking device shorting out. He slowly walks on to the beach, witnessing the scene of summoning before him. He pressed a couple buttons on his display-gauntlet, and looked back. Even a god stood here. This was a perfect opportunity... He enguaged his cloaking again and ran into the forest in front of him. Stealth is the key here, it seemed.*

Erunion descended into the cold, dank recesses of his refrigerator. From this hallowed haven of spoilable foods, he retrieved a bottle of mustard, a case of mayonnaise, a bag of havarti cheese, a packet of conveniently sliced roast-beef and four (fairly) thick slices of delicious, homemade bread.
He delicately placed these upon the kitchen table, then slid the toaster out of it's dark corner.
It was then, and only then, he realized the enormity of the situation. There were no pickles!

Shocked and appalled, he traveled to the nearest grocery store, where he learned that the cucumber crop had failed, a terrible blight had torn throughout the land destroying each and every cucumber, even the ones pickled and in jars. Again he realized, There were no pickles!
Dejected, Erunion walked to the nearest tavern. Sitting in the corner, nursing his woes, he overheard a cucumber farmer talking to a pickler.
"It's unjust! They blame us for the shortage! We're treated like criminals, as no one can complete their sandwiches. People are starving, and they put it at our door! It's not our fault! We did nothing!"
"Damn you farmer-types! That's what did it! You could have stopped it, but nooo... You did nothing! NOTHING!"
"You blasted pickler! How do you think we could have stopped it!"
Fueled by the excessive amounts of alcohol he had recently imbibed, the pickler lunged at the farmer, brandishing his fists and yelling at the top of his lungs;
"YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING, BUT YOU FAILED! YOU HAVE KILLED US ALL!"
At this point, another farmer walked in, seeing the situation (which he had seen dozens of times before in recent days) he quickly told them to stop.
"STOP! There is hope yet! In a far and distant land, there is a pickle, a great and mighty pickle, the pickle of destiny. If this pickle be eaten by any one of a particular nation, the cucumbers in that nation will grow again, and will taste ten times as good when pickled! We must find us a champion to go and find this pickle, pool together our meager resources and send him on this dire quest to save our people."
Inspired by these words (and having over-imbibed a trifle), Erunion took a step forward.
"I willll lead thish quesht to shave our pweople. You musht give me funding and resourshes to do this. Alsho several cups of coffee. Or better yet, Ished Cappacinno with Schocolate...."
Erunion then proceeded (or rather prosheeded, as the case may be) to collapse into a heap on the floor.

When he next awoke, he found that he was in the home of a pickling CEO. (He discovered this when the CEO, full of strength and vigor walked into the room, and proceeded to fill Erunion's overly-aching head with words like "Danger," "Mortal Peril," and "Extremely experimental.")
 Naturally Erunion said Yes at seemingly appropriate intervals in a vain attempt to get this over-energized man to leave him alone...

To Be Continued...

meanwhile, back on the island, in the midst of the action, a faint holler could be heard, the holler seemed to grow louder as everyone on the island realized that this curious sound was coming from above them!! they all looked up and saw a small dot slowly growing bigger as the holler grew louder. the dot than began to take shape, it looked like a person, as it grew closer, features became evident. This figure-dot-person wash short, with no hair, scraggly clothing made from animal pelts, what appeared to be dragonhide boots, and a MASSIVE hammer on his back which was bigger than he was. the man fell faster as he came closer to the island, and its current inhabitance leapt for cover. The man than fell to the ground with a huge crash leaving a crater in the ground the size of a small mansion. Nobody knew where this odd man came from, but 1 thing was certain, he was one of the lost survivors of the ancient barbarians of horrogath, and he would not be easy to handle for any 1 person. The man than rose up from the crater as if unharmed and announced boldly!
"GREETINGS, I AM BLORTAD THE MIGHTY!!!"
the instant he said this, all suspicions of him being strong, or even partially inelegant where gone, though from his amazing fall, many could tell, he was sure going to be difficult to take down.

"WHO ARE BE YOU PINK MAN!!"
Yelled blortad as he pointed his hammer at septim like it was a sword.

A mean look spread across Blortads face when suddenly he lunged at septim!!
"I NOT CARE YOU ARE BE PINK SO BLORTAD SMASH WITH HAMMER, YOU MAKE BIG BOOM!!!"

blortad lets out a mighty battle cry as the holes in his kneecaps suddenly erupt with molten hot pudding as the local tuna jump somehow out of blortads ears and latch onto septims pistil and eat it.

blortad rises from the ground with a hole in his head revealing that it is filled with air, and a now destroied raisin.
"That ok, blortad not need that anyway"

Blortad than ran off screaming "OWAH!!!!!!" in the opposite direction as septim, seeming as if he is after something... something... large, and square.

*Amidst the fighting the High Elves saw as the Dark elves strapped the Almighty Pickle of Destiny to their ship. The High elves stopped fighting and a gold aura started to surround them as they ascented into the sky. They began to sing, they sung a song which had not been sung in a millenia... Amidst the angelic echo something more sinister could be heard...something was approaching, black clouds were gathering, this was the jealosy of the High Elves...This was the end of all....This was...A PICKLE FIGHT!

*Septim drops from a beam by his legs and snaps Might's neck, he pulls him up and ties him to a beam, Septim then drops down in a tuxedo.

"The name's Septim, Gorris Septim..."

*Septim shoots the sinister stranger with his SP@M sniper rifle and uses his Sp@m whip to take it. Septim presses a button and his backpack turns into a jetpack, he flies off.

Rule 1. of the High Elves-Never let jealousy overcome. They broke the rule, the most important rule...

Black clouds continue to gather as the sky darkens, loud bangs and crashes can be heard...louder...louder....BOOM...THUD....CLASH....Something is coming...Something has been disturbed...Something, has gone wrong...

A Dark figure emerges from the thunder as lightning illuminates the sky..The elven song becomes a chant..Strong winds begin to blow...Whistles, Crashes, Bangs, and Thuds.. The voices slip deeper..and deeper...It echoes to your core...Cold shivers take hold of your spine... "This is the end..All is lost. Fire, earthquake, lava combine..The world shall die..The pickle...SHALL BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A cataclysmic rumble thrashes its way through the island.. People struggle back back up to their feet..It has arrived...

The dark figure touches ground for the first time in over a millenia.. It spots the pickle and slowly stumbles towards it, killing all in its way with its almighty power....The chant continues to echo.."This is the end..All is lost. Fire, earthquake, lava combine..The world shall die..The pickle...SHALL BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Septim wakes up to see Erunion on top of him gloating about his recent acquisition of the pickle, so Septim quickdraws his SP@M net gun and shoots Erunion, putting him in a steel net, Septim grabs the pickle and runs off.