Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

*Chugs his drink and dances around also*

*Cedric steps on the vomit and slides into Anubis, getting it all over him*

"Whoopsie!"

*Goes back to dancing*

*Shoon shoots a breakable glass of battery acid from a bow into Anubis's head and it shatters on impact, spreading a blue liquid all over him and Cedric*

"KOOL-AID IS MODERN!"

*Shoon throws Cedric into a branch where a squirrel attacks him*

"CARE BEARS ARE 21st CENTURY!"

"He thinks battery acid isn't modern...the hypocrite.  He thinks clones aren't modern either? I am the patron saint of Roleplaying...I have powaz beyond your comprehension"

*Hides his time travelling device*

*Takes the time staff back and whistles.  A clone runs in, takes the staff, and runs off.*

"Gotta keep those out of the hands of evil you know? Good thing if anyone except me touches it for more than five seconds it explodes.  It takes about thirty seconds to do anything on it luckily."

*Septim pours Arvious a Drunk's Demise.

"I think he's already signed one, but I guess I should make him sign it again," mutters Septim.

*Septim takes the Drunk's Demise from Arvious before he can drink it. He then hands him a waiver and a spen.

*Delran burst into a rage.*

"I thought I told you this is a neutral place and troops are offlimited in here! You damn foul. I have awaken my wrath! Prepare for the worst!"

*Delran's dragons fly above the army spitting flames on the spearmen. The entire army is incinerated in a matter of seconds. Than Delran throws Shoon out the window.*

"One more time, just one more time, that is all I ask, and I will be done with you!"

*Turns to the bar.*

"Septim, one shoot!"

"Busy? What the hell are you on about?"

*Septim pours Delran a Septim Shot.

*Septim pours Anubis a Septim Shot.

"You are busy if you don't respond to requests within two seconds, so I handled that [misspelt] one for you."

*runs at the dart boar in slow motion*

"myyyyyyyy arrrrooooowwww!!!!"

*Drinks his Septim Shot*

"Indeed...the forces of Tasidian are not to be messed with by any new kingdom.  I do not know what land you are from Shoon, but it cannot have been established long enough to become a strong military power.  Cidel and Tasidian have been around for awhile, along with several other kingdoms represented in here."

*Septim pulls out a swordfish and looks at it.

"We will be quite brutal..."

*looks at Septim and Cedric

"You two definitely need more practice at seeming menacing..."

*turns back to Shoon, sheathing his sword

"Well, you get the picture. Don't try that little idea again, or you'll wake up...umm...oh damn I know this one...mortally wounded, I think..."

-_-;  "Yeah, but I usually don't try to look menacing.  Tasidian is a country of peace, knowledge, and commerce.  We try to avoid war as much as possible, but are always ready to help an ally.  We once had the strongest military in the world until King Ernest Deallus felt that Tasidian had conquered enough.  He kept the military at about 300,000 men strong and stopped expanding our borders.  Our numbers are much smaller since Zurmon attacks us of course."

*Septim suddenly pulls out a cardboard sheet that looks like the commercial screens seen when somebody is selling something worthless.

"Well you havn't tried my patented superswordfish sword! For only one hundred easy payments of 19.95, this swordfish can be yours!"

*Septim continues rambling on about how good his swordfish is.

"No-no-no! You must call 1-800-GOT-SPAM! Unfortunately, phones won't exist for at least six hundred years...so I guess you gotta wait!"

"Look at you babbling about your troops! I have dragons! Hellooo.... I will wipe out Shoon within seconds! Andoria is a country of peace, but you do not wish to mess with us, or our Cavalry will be very happy to storm you. Should they fail, the entire Andorian Armed Forces will fall upon you and should they fail, which is not likely, The Knights of The Order will do you a good and wipe you out the face of this world!"

"Also, Demonsul cut that thing with the fire! I ordered a Septim Shot, not Blackfire One!"

*Drinks his shot.*

"Septim, another one!"

"Who the heck could control dragons? Seems like dragons would have the power to destroy any kingdom.  Dragons usually care more about protecting a horde of gold rather than serving a master.  They are intelligent creatures that inhabit the land."

"Well, I am their master! I drank the blood of the eldest dragons before they were slain in combat and now I can control them!"

[For further info read my book! When I will publi*beep*!]

*Septim walks outside, pulls out his sp@m cannon, and shoots the death star and the star destroyers in a quickdraw fashion. Suddenly, the star destroyers and the death star explode. Septim then walks back in.

"Bloody spacemen..."

"Well I drank the blood of the eldest dragons. They are the ones who control them. The link is done by blood. If you drink the blood of one dragon you can control it....well not quite like that, it still has it's own mind but basically, it will do what you say if it sees some reason into it. And the blood of the eldest dragons gives you control over all dragons if the eldest dragons die. Get it? Won't blame you if you don't. It's too hard for me to get it too."