Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

*Cedric slices the chocolate bard in half before it can start speaking.  He stabs it repeatedly before devouring it*

"Man...what will he think of next?'

*Septim sees Himanil give chocolate to a random patron and runs over.

"CHOCOLATE!"

*Septim eats the chocolate before Himanil can give it to the patron. Suddenly, his stomach expands in a large explosion, then shrinks back down.

"That was some crazy chocolate..."

*Septim jumps back behind the bar.

*wakes up again

"Only joking! Now, who's up for a duel? Or should I just make an 'Epic RP Dueling Thread'?"

*thinks for a second

"I might as well, I have nothing to lose..."

*runs off to the thread creation Bureau

{10 seconds later}

*comes in and sits down

"Septim Shot please, all those forms are tiring work..."

*glances at Cedric

"Who says I'm not an official already? Nobody on this continent knows what I do for a living..."

*Brian comes in and does his evil laugh again

"All in favor of Cedric's insulting suggestion are in extreme danger of losing their heads. Anyway, I can reveal some of what it's not, and it's not any of those things...where is that Septim Shot?"

*drinks his drink

"Same again, and don't go serving me a Tasidian Draught or some other dumb joke like that..."

"I didn't give you any! It was that dwarf woman behind the desk! I only made the blueprint! And where is my drink!"

*sways slightly from the shouting

"Yeah, it confuses me when the bar does that magic self-serve thing...don't try to take credit for it..."

*drinks the Septim Shot, then sags slightly

"Better not go for the third..."

"Don't you hate clones..."

*realizes who he's talking to

"Don't you hate other people's clones...and anyway, waviers are only for Drunk's Demise, and I think they are the only legal document in this world other than the messed-up Combat Hall signup contract,"

"Where is that Septim? He is overdue at Prominence and I want a Septim Shot."

*Septim gets up.

"My face...hurts..."

Septim 101: "He served without permission..."

*Septim shoots Cedric for serving somebody without permission. Then takes any drinks Cedric served, empties them out, and pours new ones.

"The heretic tainted the alcohol..."

*Drinks his shot than slaps Septim

"Post in Prominence! And give me another shot!"

*Pulls himself up from the floor*

"That was not very nice.  Maybe if you didn't pass out behind the bar until the late afternoon..."

*Cedric manages to grab Arvious by the ankle and chains him to a bar stool, which is bolted to the ground.*

"Hey! Glad you could stay awhile!"

*Wishes Arvious would stop using imaginary weapons*

*Beats up the world*

"There..."

"Beating up this map and going to tell Arvious I beat up the world...do you think he will fall for it?"

*Watches Arvious walk out.  Several minutes later Cedric scratches his head*

"Was that Arvious? Damn...well Septim get me the usual"

"Septim, one shot!"

"I meant, get me the Tasidian Draught...it is my usua. from now on..."

*Drinks Septim Shot, gradually backing away from Cedric's Tasidian Draught

*Septim pours Delran a Septim Shot with a smile.

"Be specific, you might want a shot of whiskey, or vodka, or maybe a crossbow shot to the face. I never know..."

"I can..." mutters Septim, "And I know it fires bolts..."

[[OOC: Can't use a pistol in a medieval game can I? ...wait a minute...]]

*Septim pulls out a medieval SMG.

"There we go!"

*Septim liked holding it an inch from his face...recoil injuries are fun...

*Septim refills Cedric's Tasidian Draught.

"Weird..."