Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

"Hah, no one's allowed behind the counter!"

*Travis waits for the tavern defenses to roast Blodgram alive.*

"Yeah, Blodgram's behind the counter."

*Travis collects Blodgrams flaming remains and sends them off to Septim's Exotic Eats.*

*thinks about his uselessness as bodyguard while watching limbs flying*

*gets up shaking*

"Heyyyy ummmm (stuttering) sssttooppp fighttinnggg.."

"pleeaasseee?"

*Chucks in 8 primitive grenades renowned for their 'cleaning up' and 'quietening down things' ability*

"What's a grenade?" Travis asks.

"Either way, what's a grenade?"

"It is an evil magic! Kill the heretic!"

"What blasphemy is this?!"

*grabs the spork

"Wow...why didn't I think of that?"

'And that's nothing (assumes a salesman's voice), as you will observe when you purchase from my variety of latest grenades, all will leave you wanting for more.

'This one here is the standard one blowing up everything is sight, and that there is an evil one you pop one under your victims chairs and watch as his eh.., um, well I believe that practical experiments will teach one best.'

*Leaves one under Fever's chair and watches for the hundreth time as his victim got blasted off in the air leaving all signs of his manlihood behind.*


(Faces the silent crowds) 'Well who wants one?'

*Travis takes back his spork from Demonsul.*

"Mine!"

*Travis shrugs, since Fever didn't throw anything.*

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"run away!!!"

*wakes up, walks into the back, comes out into the tavern with the medieval SMG, and executes everybody that had stood behind the counter with intention to sell alcohol or drink free alcohol. He then puts the medieval SMG back into the back room and walks back out into the tavern, where he takes up his spot behind the counter and fills all the orders*

"Septim Shot, if you would."

*Sees Septim unharmed*

"I hope you realize you cannot hurt the bartender of the tavern right?"

*enters wondering if it is wise and if he will leave alive*

greetings mortals

*shoves the bomb up blodgrams anal hoping no one saw his hand go near blodgram*

So may i have a drink?

* blows up and as his head lands shouts*

you were the first guy i saw lol

"Try wooden stakes...and it is just Kath wearing a vampire mask."

*Blodgram slaps Senturu upside the head

"Learn to speak politely to everyone in hear, the bartender the most."

"Um, Blodgram, Senturu used to be the bartender here way back.  Don't slap the old patrons and bartenders of the past."

*Gives Senturu a beer since there is no bartender behind the bar at the moment*

*Glares at Farmer

"I'll slap whoeverI like Confused! You have no right to tell me what to do!"

*Travis slaps Blodgram for no apparent reason.*

*bodgram gets up and draws his sword against the three foes*

"Slappings for the little girls. I like to use my sword!"

*swings his sword, sending shards of steel everywhere