Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

 *Seloc's body walks over to his head and picks it up, places it ruffly where it should be and used his spare duck tape in his back pocket to reattach it*

 "Good as new"

 * Seloc then picks up the magical scepter of awwwww........ and ZAPS! slayer with it, shortly after slayer turns into a raccon. Seloc then places the magic scepter where it was and calls for a beer.*

*Raises his glass*

"Heres to everyone, and everything"

*Drinks it down in one and turns to Shezmu*

"It was me who brought those people to your lands, completely by accident I might add, they are incredibly hard to kill. Not even he force of an exploding sun could kill them. As for me, I am nigh invincible, I travel from world to world finding people to participate in my experiments. As soon as people start to find out about them and try tracking me down, I destroy the world and everyone on it. Well that was the plan on the last planet but I didn't realise that the suns radiation would cause my wormhole to expand taking in all of the remaining life within a certain radius. Ah well, most are dead now so no harm done, looks like I can do some of my experiments on your homeworld"

*Smiles and evil smile and laughs quite dramatically*

 (who is solaz........?)

 *Seloc is still waiting upon his order of a drink, takes a seat near scientist.*

 "You know what i should be barkeeper after all, Slayer is well slayer and therefore should not perticipate in this competition, Scientist is evil and by no means should be allow the role as barkeeper, Erica hasn't spoken in a awhile, which leaves only me the fun loving human with a nak for winning."

*Turns to Seloc*

"Now who says I am evil, I merely give common people the chance that they need to let out their evil sides. Whether they do or not is up to them. They don't have to kill people, but they choose to, so therefore it is their own fault. And as for you running the bar while Senturu is away, who has been here longer, eh eh. And if Effie was here right now I'm sure that he would back me when I say, Scientist for Barkeep!!"

*Turns back Shezmu*

"I'm sure he will leave it untouched for your return, I would enjoy it too, who knows how long Carrothia will last with these experiments going on there now. I mean just look at the earth, after too many people started to catch on with what was happening and so the whole place had to be cleansed, and what a better way then to clean it with a dieing suns radiation."

Lord Senturu,

as you know Effie is Irresistable to both man and woman alike when sober, however as he'd had a few I can easily resist him if I so choose.

(it's resisting Draven that's hard)

*looks weird and stunned at Sorank Seloc*
"dude...did you just put a dart inside that guys neck whilst skipping through a field of roses?!"

*gets slapped in the face by Scientist and is told to snap out of whatever he's in*
"right...ehm...Ruinz of Solaz...well you know it's not exactly the city that is of interest...it's more what lies beneath it, hidden for those who seek knowledge and powers of untold magnitude...hang on...why exactly was I telling you all this?!"

*looks at Scientist*
"what the hell did you put in that last beer you gave me?!"

*Turns to Shezmu*

"I didn't give you a beer, did I?!?! HEY! You must of stole one of my precious beers that Senturu gave me, if you want a limited edition Senturu beer then order one. I got these myself, they won't last long and you can only get them while Senturu lasts."

*Turns to look round the room*

"Has it been decided who the barkeep is going to be yet? I still want to have a go with that bat that Senturu keeps with him at all times. Could be good fun."

*Turns back round and drinks another beer*

"There has only ever been one barkeep at a time in this establishment and there will always only ever be one. No compromises allowed."

*Walks over to Senturu*

"Sorry but this guy has been asking for this for a while now. Walking around here like he owns the place."

*Picks up Senturus bat and walks over to Seloc. Hits him full swing with the bat round the face. Then walks over to Senturu once more and gives him back the bat*

"There, that felt much better. Now Senturu, you have yet to elaborate on who you have decided to let be the barkeep. Please shed some light on this situation. Or will this be an open bar where people serve themselves."

*walks over to Shezmu and unhooks him from the edge of the bar, then with one heave trows him onto the couch in the corner*

'Isn't it illegal to give drinks to an intoxicated person, you people make me sick sometimes,'

*Grabs a beer for himself from the bar and drinks it, then hands the empty glass to scientist*

'Hmmm, I'm the only sober one here, I better fix this'

*Grabs a bottle of whiskey and drinks it down, then stumbles over to the couch and collapses on Shezmu*

'Bah, spells will not stop me'

*Summons a vacuum cleaner and sucks the Liqueur from the glasses, then lifts the vacuum above his head letting the Liqueur drain slowly into his mouth. He then steals Scientists boot and throws it into what remains of the beer, poisoning it, forever*

'MMMM, you really need to think these protection ideas through Scientist, now no-one can have a drink'

*Collapses in a heap in the corner of the room*

*Goldsie's spirit rises out of his body and then possesses Seloc, he then uses Seloc's body to duck tape the wounds on his own body, he then returns to his own body and continues living*

'Im to old to die'

*Throws Scientists other boot at Seloc*

*Looks at Goldsie who is throwing boots around and drinking drinks*

"Firstly, I don't wear boots, those were Shezmus and he is gonna be rather pissed when he finds out what you've done with them. Secondly, you stole drinks from the bar, my drinks are hidden and cannot be found by mere mortals, my elven elder magic is more powerful than you could imagine and nothing you do will reveal the drinks to you. Good luck trying though, anything you try to do will just result in my protection spell taking affect and will replace my drinks with ones from behind the bar, so you're stealing from Senturus bar, man is he gonna kill you."

*Sits back down nest to Shezmu*

"Man your feet must be getting cold."

*Goldsie's spirit rises out of his body and then possesses Seloc's boot, he then uses Seloc's boot to duck tape the wounds on his own body, he then uses his possesion of the boot to make Seloc kick himself in the head, he then returns to his own body and continues living*

'Im to dead to die'

*Throws Seloc's other boot at Seloc, then makes himself Seloc proof via Magic so that Seloc cannot touch him, he then Duck tapes Seloc to the roof leaving him stranded there*

*slowly comes to senses with an immense cold feeling on his feet*
"right...who messed about with my shoes?! give them back will ya?! whomever did this...it's NOT funny!!!"

*looks down and tries to wiggle his littlest clawed toe*
"ah man...it aint wiggling! now I'm getting angry! gimme back my shoes this instance!!!"

*notices a few splinters in his mouth*
"hmmm...I've been eating toothpicks once again then?! gawd I must've been drunk"

"Sorry...about...my...pyro...urges...anybody...have...some...aloe vera...please...i am very...badly...burnt..."

aloe..vera?

yay and the whole bar rejoices. cept' Lady erica who is now trying to kill poor defenseless draven

'I vote you scientist, and get back on the roof Shezmu'

*Raises a glass of his own home brew high into the air to acknowledge Scientist*

*Looks over at Tak*

"Yeah I guess it is but still, all in the name of fairness. Now please, choose someone and take it out of 'em"

 "Scientist but only because Senturu said so, and also because voting for myself in selfish and just wrong"

 *Still waiting on a beer ordered at least 50 posts ago*

 *Seloc recovers quickly and catches the the bottle, then sends a fire ball at tober which hit him in the head igniting him again.*

 "So where did you get this bottle?........"

*Laughing at Seloc's too slow of reaction to send another fireball Tiber jumps out the window and disappears (to Tales Tavern)

*Scientist stands up on the bar, and grabs some bottles.*

"Right, well I guess it looks like I'm the barkeep while Senturu is away, now who wants a drink?"

*Jumps behind the bar and readies himself to pull pints*

'Hey Scientist, ill have a beer, this home brew is foul'

*Pull out an ornate whip and whips Tiber Septic (hehehe I'm so witty) out of his seat. Goldsie then takes a seat and smiles at Scientist Kindly and Politely*

'A beer Please, I'm sick of being beaten up round this joint... I'm doing thinks right round here from now on'

 *Sits down next to goldie*

 "ME i want a beer!" (Still)