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*Verll drinks up his beer, slams the bottle on the desk*

"MORE!!!!"

"Please"

*Septim pours Vengence and Verll a beer each.

"You guys are a couple of alcoholics aren't you?"

*Gulps down another beer*

" yea ....some doctor guy told me I had something called  alcowhim...no...uh....alcoism......no.....hmmm....whatever!! but I didn't know what it was besides it had Alcohol in it"

*Gulps down another beer with a puzzled look on his face*

*Septim pours Aurelius a beer and looks at him.

"Hmmmmmmmm...you look like a guy I've seen before...are you related to Marcus Aurelius? Or the Roman General, Aurelius?"

*Septim sees everybody's confused faces.

"Oh right...this is VU...Romans aren't here"

*Septim fills up Verll's half a beer and Arthion's glass.

"IM NOT AN ALCHOHOLIC!!!! i just like it a lot, thats all"

*Septim pours Aurelius a beer.

"Hmmmm...oh well..."

*looks at Arthion*

"So, a friend who had a friend who had a friend who was related to guy who had a friend that worked with a guy who had a friend that told you what a Roman looked like? And I match the description?
I think you ve been drinking too much for an evening, mate!"

*Gulps his second beer*

"Damn, this is good... More!!!"

*Gets on a table and starts to dance, then sings in a language no one in the taverne knows*

*Septim pours Aurelius a beer.

"You can if you finish the one you got!"

*Looks at Arthion*

"It seems you are a fast drinker. Care for a contest against me?"

"FINALLY!!!"

* starts putting down the beers like a starving Ethiopian in front of a buffet*

"Im back ladys"

*sits down on a stool*

*Drinking as if there were no tomorrow*

"You only win respect..."
-Burrrp-

*Continues to drink*

*Does not stop drinking*

"I... will... not ...lose... this... contest..."

*After finishing his fifteenth beer, Aurelius grabs a barrel and starts to drink directly from it*

*Aurelius looks at Septim*

"Has the beer gotten up to your head? You are talking nonsense! I will beat you right now..."

*Aurelius grabs thirty glasses of bear and drinks them so fast nobody sees what happened, then passes out*

*Septim suddenly sees Muse fall on the floor and die.

"Hmmmm..."

*Septim pulls out a hypodermic needle and draws some blood from Muse. Septim then pulls out his Forensics for Dummies booklet and a lab kit and after a few minutes turns around.

"He had a BAC of around 700%!!!"

"You got a great tolerance, you might be able to survive the Drunk's Demise...it packs enough alcohol to kill three hundred alcoholics...with one drop!"

*Septim pulls a small box from under the counter and puts his head to it. The box scans his eyes then says "Present voice"

"Septim"

Box: "Please speak clearly"

"SEPTIM!"

Box: "Thank you"

*The box opens and Septim grabs a bottle from it, Septim pours a small amount of the liquid into a small glass. Septim puts the cap on the bottle and puts it back into the box. Septim then puts the box back and pulls out a pen and a piece of paper. He presents it to Muse.

"Sign this waver..."

*Aurelius gets back up*

"Give me that!*

*Drinks the liquid without thinking*

"Hmmm. What is this?"

"Sorry, but you weren t as fast as me.. @%!&!"

*Septim sees Aurelius suddenly drop to the floor.

"Hmmmm, another one bites the dust..."

*Septim drags Aurelius's body out the side door and throws it into Ye Olde Dumpster. Septim walks back inside and washes his hands.

Meanwhile:

*Outside, a hobo named Bobo jumps into the trash can to see the dead Aurelius. Bobo unzips Aurelius's pants and then unzips his own. Bobo licks Aurelius's face and proceeds to do many more nasty things that are illegal in several countries.

*Septim finishes washing his hands and turns to Muse.

"Sign the waver and I'll pour another!"

*Septim hangs up a notice on the wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Customers of Ye Olde Taverne,

I am once again leaving for five days in fifteen minutes and will be returning on Sunday or Monday. I might be able to get on in that time, but as of now I am unsure. So I am making Seloc the substitute barkeep in my leave in case I cannot get on, have fun Seloc. Abuse your powers well!

Signed,
Prince Lucias Septim II
Barkeep of Ye Olde Taverne (While Lord Senturu is gone)
Owner and Chef of Septim's exotic eats
Owner and Gladiator of The Arena
Owner and Barkeep of Tales Tavern
God of SP@M

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*signs the waver*

"give me another shot plz"

*Aurelius stares at Muse and hides*

"This way he might not see me..."

*Seloc grabs Senturu and throws him out the Tavern.*

"I'm subsitute, that means I have more power over beer than an ex-barkeeper!!"

*There is a loud splat as Senturu is heard landing in a puddle of mud.*

*muse stares in amazement*

"can i have a beer plz, someone"