Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

*Ernie sees an arm attached to his book*

"Huh? WTF!? HOLY ZETA! Get your ARM out of MY BOOT!

*Takes off boot and yanks Demonsul's arm out of it before sitting down and fixing it back up*

*Septim pours a round of beers and gives one to each person.

"I doubt anybody will thank you Arvious, by the way, time to collect tabs!"

*Septim goes around and takes the appropriate amount of gold from each wallet/purse/sack and dumps it in the chest of no-thief.

Ernie lights his pipe and takes a sip from his beer while watching Septim collect tabs from people who never drank but just killed each other...

*Pays Septim for a glass of beer and then smashes it over Demonsul's head*

"WOOHOOOOOO!"

*Septim whistles and a doctor comes and steals all of Demonsul's organs, the doctor them dumps Demonsul's body in a very deep lake with concrete shoes.

"Don't worry Ernie, I'm not going to let a patron get caught by the police..."

"Hmph.  [[1 shot of the strongest non-lethal whiskey you have][."

*drinks the shot*

*slaps Ernie for standing within 2 feet of him*

*wakes up in a dumpster*

"What the f-"

*a smelly fish fell on his face before he finished his sentence*

"Damn!!!"

*jumps out into the rain*

*waits for his karate power levels to attain the maximum and kicks the wall of the dumpster, shattering a hole big enough for Arvious to get out*

*immediantly pulls Ernie by the neck outside, and 5 seconds later, Arvious comes back inside*

"Ernie got sho- I mean took a stroll and his blo- red wine spilled all over the ground.  But don't worry, I disposed of the bo- er, cleaned up the mess."

*Ernie walks in the door* Man you didnt have to put me in a headlock like that....owww...Septim do you think ill have a bruise tomorrow?

.....if he was covered in hardened poop he probably didnt want to breathe either >_>

*reverses time and punches Arvious in the face*

*reverses time and shoves a hot poker in the eye of Arvious*

*reverses time and builds a time dampener in the tavern to stop time reversals*

....Then orders a [[Whiskey]]

*Destroys the time dampener and goes to the present time period and rebuilds it*

Sorry Septim X_x got carried away

"Huh? That was weird, I believe Ernie asked for a whiskey shot a few decades ago...and Arvious just asked for one..."

*Septim pours Arvious and Ernie a whiskey shot each.

*Obviously forgets the TIME DAMPENER WHICH DISABLES TIME TRAVEL*

Whiiiiisky! *chugs it*

Destroys the time dampene

Well?

*Septim approaches Arvious and backhand slaps him so hard his teeth fly out, he then knees him in the nuts and pinches the special spot on his neck, knocking him out. Septim approaches the time dampener and uses his magic to create another forcefield around it that is unbreakable in every way. Septim then levitates it over to Ernie.

"Take care of that, will you?", asks Septim before curbstomping Arvious for good measure. Septim then walks behind the bar and pours Ant's drink.

"They keep fighting over time abilities, I just like to solve things..."

*Septim kicks Arvious in the ribs.

"And if any of you want to see what is probably the largest history Visual Utopia has ever seen, go look at my history..."

*reforms and puts Ernie in another head lock, dragging Ernie outsdie, where Arvious grabs a chainsaw and mutilates Ernie*

*reforms and kills Ernie and all of his doubles without getting a scratch*

*Septim kicks Arvious in the nuts so hard his GRANDKIDS feel the pain.

"I think that was enough for Arvious the fifth, sixth, and seventh..."

*Septim looks up.

"Right here."

*Septim pulls a few coins out of his pocket and drops them into the chest of no-theft. He then pours Pendragon a tankard of fire brewed ale and hands it to him.

*walks in slowly*

"Septim.....I need [[whiskey]] and keep it coming....

*Sits at the bar*

i suddenly realized today how bad i am at diplomacy......and how stupid Slade is......I think i may live a life in the RP forums and give up my job as a vice/leader....."

*walks in and sits at one of the tables, too tired to oreder or sp@m*