Forums / Roleplaying / Septim Gets Sued III

Septim Gets Sued III
15:47:01 Aug 1st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Septim walks into the court room in shackles once more, he sits down and notices nobody is in the courtroom.

"Well...errrr," mutters Septim.


[[OOC: Well, I'm being sued for ruining the roleplaying forums...let us see if I am guilty...]]

Judge -

Lawyer -

Prosecutor -

Jury -

16:46:29 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Onex:

 Judge Onex walks in, straightening out his robes and desperately trying to brush off the sugar from his donut. Reaching his wooden chair that sits so high above the others he turns to the empty room, "ALL RI- .... oh never mind, their late again" sitting down he turns to Septim with a smirk, "So what is it this time? Not another drunk in public charge already." putting on his glasses he flips through Septims very large, very old file, several documents were written in Hebrew, one of the very first was hieroglyphs, turning to the newest one he rubs his chin, "That's a mighty serious charge, who exactly accused you?"

20:23:47 Aug 1st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

"Scientist did, he said the sp@mmers have ruined the roleplaying forums, as the God of Sp@m I have come to represent the entire sp@mmer population."

21:33:10 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Onex:

 "Well as a judge I'm not allowed to side with a certain person before being presented with evidence, however a good lawyer should be able to get you out on account of the fact that sp@m is more prevelant in the other forums, but if he's accusing sp@mming in general of ruining the forums, it could take much longer to resolve." Flipping through the record he finds the newest summary of Septim's file:

Name(s): Tiber Septim, Pelagius Septim, Tiber Septim II, Cephorus Septim, Gaius Septim, Salius Septim II, Pelagius Septim IV, Gaius Septim II, Tiber Septim IV, Lucias Septim II, Aesius Septim, Cephorus Septim IV, Calus Septim V, Gorris Septim, Bertilius Septim, Bertilius Septim II, Waldorfius Septim, Waldorfius Septim II, Waldorfius Septim III
Height: Varies
Weight: Varies
Hair color: Cidellian white
Notes: Known *sp@mmer, cloner, drinker, exotic food merchant, and roleplayer. Has led sp@m forces in three sp@m wars and one close encounter. He is the current God of Sp@m. He started out as a small time Ye Olde Taverne patron and worked his way up to barkeep, then after an election he became the God of Sp@m. He also owns Septim's Exotic Eats, a restaraunt dedicated to serving exotic and sometimes endangered animals such as panda, platypus, and squirell.

  Adjusting his glasses he turns back to Septim, "Should the jury find sp@mming to be ruining our forums, I daresay you will come down with a harsh penalty on account of you being referred to as the 'God of Sp@m'."

  Onex leans back in his chair, surveying the dimly lit, empty courtroom, "But, should no one decide to show up, I have no choice but to dismiss the case." Onex checks his watch again and twiddles his thumbs impatiently.

21:56:30 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Harry The Crazy:

*runs in*

"I the jury, find the defendant guilty! Oh wait, have we heard the evidence yet?"

22:54:47 Aug 1st 08 - Lord Kevdwayne:

*Enters with a braunschwager sandwich in hand*

"I Object Your Honor!  Mistrial on the grounds of a Prejudice Jury!  Not withstanding my client is Innocent of all charges!"

03:20:56 Aug 2nd 08 - Mr. Onex:

 Onex bangs on the desk with his hammer, "ORDER!!" Turns to Harry,"We will need more than one person on the jury Sir, and should you continue to show your significant pre-disposition against the defendant I will have no choice but to throw you out of this courtroom!" Turns to Kevdwayne,"As for you, I'm glad to see that someone with a knowledge of the law showed up today, however there is no mistrial on account of the fact that the court is not yet in session, and cut me off a peice of that sandwich."

05:11:44 Aug 2nd 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

*Walks in*

I am the lawyer of Mr. Septim here.  I am also saying that there has been no official filing of a lawsuit against Mr. Septim.  That means there is no case to argue.  Good Day


05:59:23 Aug 2nd 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

"Well dangit, I don't want this thread to go to waste...ummm..."

*A crazy homeless person runs in.

"He has been cloning human beings man! That's against ethics man!"

*A bullet flies through the window, striking the homelss man in the neck. He falls to the ground dieing.

"Well...errrr...I guess nobody else wants to sue m-" Septim is cut off.

"You immoral lunatic! I'll see you in hell!" yells a woman.

A previous waitress for Septim's Exotic Eats runs in.

"He's been selling endangered animals for years! He even has a whole colony of Tasmanian tigers in his baseme-" she is cut off by another bullet entering her head. Septim starts twiddling his thumbs.

"Well now...this is getting inconvenie-"

"He killed John F. Kenne-" *BANG*

"He convinced Bush to g-" *BANG*

"He knows the cure for AIDS, but he won't give it to anybo-" *BANG*

Septim begins looking around nervously.

Now how are all my secrets getting out?

"Well your honor, since we have no other cases, I'll be leaving now," says Septim as he walks out of the courtroom.

06:17:44 Aug 2nd 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Case closed.....and let it stay that way >_>

07:10:08 Aug 2nd 08 - Mr. Onex:

 Onex takes his hammer and walks out looking for the person that declared war on Septim...

12:50:49 Aug 2nd 08 - Mr. Harry The Crazy:


13:04:23 Aug 2nd 08 - Mr. Rootsday The Animal:


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