Forums / Roleplaying / The Legend of Tico
| The Legend of Tico | ||||
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| 16:27:01 Dec 22nd 14 - Mr. Barney: Roleplay forums are dead so I'm going to bring a new style of roleplay the VU community, if there isn't any interest in part 2 of this epic tale then I won't post it, but believe me when I say that the plot of this engaging 3 part true story will rock you to your very core. | ||||
| 16:31:08 Dec 22nd 14 - Ms. Lampercut: Barny, what did Horus see through the eye in the sky? Give us part 2! | ||||
17:11:16 Dec 22nd 14 - Mr. Barney:
Why absolutely, guy with a female title that I just told on skype to say that in this thread! I was going to shelve this epic tale and keep it a well kept secret, a legend passed down from generation to generation of Evil's most elite leadership, but for you I will give Part 2 and no more. It will be hard to convince me to share with you the third and final chapter of this tale, for I feel you may not be ready for it yet. The Legend of Tico, Part 2 To pick up where we left off:
 Through the Eye in the Sky Horus saw something that he had never seen before- an entirely new way of waging war. Tico's methods were unconventional and unlike any other that the forces of Evil had seen before- his army was not comprised of the feared Gaia trained atop guard towers, nor the battle proven Orcish hammerthrower raised in the armory, but rather of the Drunken Ogre. If nothing else, one thing was clear: We were fighting an enemy that we had never faced before. Tico's methods were anything but conventional, and some even questioned his unique approach to administering his lands and spending the wealth of gold levied from the toils of it's peasants in the mines. Tico was emptying the coffers his hard working peasants had labored so hard to fill to build some sort of city of jolly hearth, booze, and Ogre right in the midst of his most veteran foes. This was not a brave Orcish Warrior of Justice and Light like Tico's brother in arms Elite who had trained Gaia atop the tower like many generations of Orc before him, but something else entirely. Was Tico a brilliant military mind ahead of his time? A new enemy using a fearsome combination of units and buildings that was unexplored by his orcish brothers for so many years? Only time would tell. Meanwhile in Tico's city of jolly hearth and taverns the sight of building and peasant streaming in was visible to all. The Evil Wizard Horus decided to peer into Tico's taverns one last time, and what he saw disgusted him more than anything else:
The rumors of filth and depravity had proven true- the tavern wenches really did sleep 6 to a bed with the Ogres, and every man and every woman truly did work the taverns and not the mines. One could walk the streets of Tico and see for themselves that it was truly easier to find a tavern to drink in than a bed to sleep in. Time would quickly prove this lifestyle was achievable only though the toils of disgruntled peasants afar overworked in the mines, and the cracks in Tico's empire began to show when rumors of his mines being undermanned, unproductive, and the Ogres taking too long to complete their 'training' has begun to spread. Meanwhile, the forces of Evil were left to ponder one very scary question: If what we were seeing was this shocking, than what were Tico's 5 men doing in that city that he didn't want us to see? Tico had hidden 5 of his men away from the gaze of the eyes in the sky, and well grounded and supported tales had begun to spread that the five most fearsome and extremest generals of Tico's elite 'Drunken Ogre Regiment' had taken to calling themselves 'Grand Dragons'. But why? Were Tico's best men paying homage to the Evil King Orc Elron the Dragon? No, it couldn't be. Tico's Drunken Ogres may have had loose morales but even in their drunken stupor they knew friend from foe. They fought for the forces of Good, why would his generals chose to pay homage to their most hated enemy, the Evil King of Orcs? | ||||
| 17:16:37 Dec 22nd 14 - Ms. Lampercut: Why did Tico's generals chose to call themselves dragons? | ||||
| 17:27:01 Dec 22nd 14 - Mr. Barney: I'm sorry Ms. Lampercut, but that is something that I cannot yet tell you. Rumor has it that Tico's army has been spotted on the fields of the battlefield of Good vs Evil flying an entirely different banner and marching to a different tune entirely, but we must let time itself sort out fact from fiction. | ||||
| 02:44:47 Dec 23rd 14 - Mr. Barney:
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| 02:47:11 Dec 23rd 14 - Mr. Barney: We must now wait, for Tico needs time to write history and forge his legacy: | ||||
| 15:43:43 Dec 23rd 14 - Mr. Barney: Another chapter in our heroes tale unfolds! | ||||
| 00:42:11 Dec 24th 14 - Ms. Jennacide: the next poet laureate ;) | ||||
02:33:09 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barney:
We mustn't rush our heroes tale For Tico's strats' can never fail He is the trainer of the ogre That fight so drunken, they may fall over We looked at Tico, full of doubt His Ogres looked into their stout He builds the Tavern with such bliss His ogres drunken, pants wet with piss 'The Drunken Ogre' is his style For the sober ogre does not smile. We bully Tico, we laugh and sneer The intoxicated ogre does not know fear. We question Tico, we doubt his guile Will his racist ogre prove their wile? | ||||
| 17:04:56 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barney: I'm crossposting this from the GvE evil KD forums so that people who appreiciate Tico's journey can stay updated: | ||||
| 17:17:05 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barny: (OOC: I just realized that I spent about 15 million gold for 810 taverns because I built them on a character with 1.4~ million land, but I think that that just makes this so much better because I'd like to imagine our hero would have spent 15 million on taverns OOP if he would have been able to do so. I'm basically making a running joke at Tico's expense, but I mean this in good humor and just want to provide some amusement. Next update contains new happenings and might not come until after christmas) | ||||
| 19:09:52 Dec 27th 14 - Mr. Barney: Next update will come later today probably, in the meantime I built Tico his perfect kind of 90k: | ||||
| 10:18:56 Dec 28th 14 - Mr. Barney: Come one, come all For our hero still lives And Part 6 is near | ||||
| 11:16:41 Dec 28th 14 - Mr. Barney: I'm going to preface this by saying that I am flaming a friend and he was inactive, but it's all in good humor. It needs to be done. Tico's tale is the story of how passion overcame indifference. | ||||
| 11:19:57 Dec 28th 14 - Ms. Lampercut: epic | ||||
| 12:12:11 Dec 28th 14 - Zephyr (Marquess Hartmut): I hear Tico but I only see Marquess Hatmut. | ||||
21:54:02 Dec 29th 14 - Mr. Barney:
For Tico and his band of Racist Drunken Ogres operates in the shadows and leaves behind no trace of their merriment! Come one come all, and open your eyes For Tico fights strongly, dead elves are his prize Tico's Ogres are drunk, Elf fear stinks like skunk To see the Archmage is tragic, for Tico hates magic You see not Tico's work, you don't notice his ploy For his Drunken Ogre only burn and destroy. | ||||
| 09:18:05 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney: Somehow Evil waypoints have devolved into this and I just don't have the heart to remove them: | ||||
| 22:39:07 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Soccerguy: He will kill you. You are simply a newb and have no idea how to play barney. NEEEWWWWBBBB! | ||||
| 00:36:15 Dec 31st 14 - Mr. Barney: TICO LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE:
TICO'S CURSE IS UPON US. | ||||
| 08:14:25 Dec 31st 14 - Mr. Wonderful: The tico curse. I guess i was "drunk" when I did that move .... Lol ADMIN should change Taverns to "Tico's Resort" ;) | ||||
| 13:34:18 Dec 31st 14 - Mr. Barney: I think it's great how despite how far from 'Good' Tico's strategy was (no pun intended {haha} but training Ogres out of Tavens OOP is genuinely a very bad strategy) he really made no costly mistakes and has accomplished an amazing amount despite not even being unusually active!
 Tico has transitioned into some form of Glorious Rainbow Army and I really have no idea what to make of it. I can only assume that Tico is yet again one step ahead of us. As much as I joke I feel strongly compelled to remind everyone reading this that Tico actually built 7500 Armories (the proper number), contributed to his kingdom (never lost his city and cleared out every city around it), and may actually outlast everyone else whilst still being of value to his kingdom. Think about that for a minute. Tico got this much done and he isn't even shockingly active nor was his strategy 'optimal'. The Drunken Ogre, ladies and gentleman. | ||||
| 16:46:48 Dec 31st 14 - Mr. Soccer Balls: he just joined my clan, yay! | ||||
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