Forums / Miscellaneous Discussions / I feel Smart

I feel Smart
04:50:41 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Might The God of Cows:
You'll feel smarter after you read this!! I did.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
forever," --Miss
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but
not
with all those flies and death and stuff," --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson
for federal antismoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president,"
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it,"--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the
Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein,"-- sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--BillClinton,President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And
the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to your other brilliant friends, like I am doing.

04:56:36 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Hawk:

I think I lost brain cells reading that. I think i'm retarded now.


04:57:40 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Might The God of Cows:

My plan is working!


05:22:41 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Twinkie:

Dude my dang IQ just went down A LOT


05:33:39 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Bayushi Clamps:

Really? I feel so much better; there were some very clever insights in there. Like that bit about Australia...very enlightening!


10:49:54 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Mushasji:

i can be a worldleader too!   woohoo!


14:53:23 Jan 25th 08 - Sir Gaius Aureliae:

I really feel smarter. I never thought that the reason one should die is that it isnīt possible to do anything about it. Which means I wanna die because we are supposed to die because we do. And that is something nobody can deny. Because if they could, they would. But they donīt. And we are the president of Australia, even though I came overseas.


16:50:57 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Xiax:

Looks like Republican propaganda. :)


20:00:05 Jan 25th 08 - Sir Erunion Telcontar:

But... Wow. I've heard these before, and I think my IQ dropped a few points. But that doesn't really matter, as clearly I'm smart enough to rule a country anyway!


20:27:33 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Might The God of Cows:

Bwhahaha! If more people read this I will soon be the smartest person in VU!!! If im not already....


21:13:14 Jan 25th 08 - Sir Erunion Telcontar:

Unfortunately Might, you've read these too, you just couldn't sense the IQ drop...


22:56:37 Jan 25th 08 - Duke Luta Mor:

Yeah, I got this email forwarded to me too once...


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

Anyone with half a brain can calculate this out.  100/2 = 50.  50 *.95 = 45.  So the game is precisely 45 percent mental.


23:05:12 Jan 25th 08 - Mr. Sean Elderson:

ouch... Poor Might.... That was just mean Erunion...


00:46:01 Jan 26th 08 - Sir Gaius Aureliae:

Duke Luta Mor

Yeah, I got this email forwarded to me too once...


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

Anyone with half a brain can calculate this out.  100/2 = 50.  50 *.95 = 45.  So the game is precisely 45 percent mental.


 Actually: 50 *.95= 47.5
The real equation is:
50 *.90= 45

Seems this thread really got into your brain!


01:21:01 Jan 26th 08 - Mr. Might The God of Cows:

Im confused.... Erunion..... I actually put it together during a long period of time.


01:31:22 Jan 26th 08 - Sir Erunion Telcontar:

I meant that I had seen these before from different sties and locales. (Although some of them I hadn't seen. I just can't remember which...)

They are very, very funny...
And don't worry, our IQ will heal! I'm sure of it!


04:45:10 Jan 26th 08 - Mr. Might The God of Cows:

I AM a God ya'know. I do have a sense of humor.


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