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Ghostlands
18:52:05 Oct 8th 07 - Sir Hephaestus:

This is an RP done by Sir Jonny Bacardi the Last Paladin and myself.  Originally I was going to do it with Kiro, but he seemed inactive so the story went to someone else.

In short, this story is about two knights who travel to the Northern Wastelands to hunt down an evil banshee in an ancient mountain palace with a dark history and ghostly defenders.  It has its fair share of action and definitely adventure, but you'll be amused by the bit of humor thrown in too :)

And without further ado, the story begins next post.


18:53:42 Oct 8th 07 - Sir Hephaestus:

You (9/28/2007 3:18:09 AM)
It was a dark evening when it all began. Sir Lorr, knight under king Hephaestus, was pacing around in the perimeter of the fort, reading a thick leather-bound book. He wore a dirty tunic and simple rope belt. The undgarments reeked; Lorr didn't find much time at the end of the day to wash them. (Nor did he possess any other clothes.)

Sir Lorr turned the pages tenderly. Its pages were old, it's text handwritten and images carefully drawn. It was a rare volume he had found in the library of a village his division had occupied some time ago. The faded words "Spirites and Ghosts of the Lost Northernlands" decorated the book's cover.

He read the book until the sun set behind the forested horizon and it was too dark to read anymore. He then took the book to his tent, lit up several candles, and continued his study.

More than anything he longed to leave his division and seek his own glorious adventures up north. The book spoke of a Banshee that lived in a great cavern. According to the legends it guarded a vast vault of gold and jewelry it and it's legendary Army of the Dead had stolen from villages and cities over the course of millenium.

What greater adventure could a knight seek than to destroy the evil Banshee and retrieve the treasure, and thus stopping the Army of the Dead from its murderous assaults and thievery? And of course, he was sure he'd read something about a chamber of virgins, preserved in sleep until one was to come and rescue them...

Sir Lorr now just needed someone to travel with him. He'd heard of another knight in the camp by the name of Sir Jonny...
You (9/29/2007 4:46:18 PM)

 

Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (9/30/2007 5:17:06 PM)

GOOD BAD
As young Sir Jonny slept, Sir Lorr studoied his famous book. Lorr had noticed Jonny's talents with the sword, and his skill at riding far surpassed even those of the older man.
Jonny was also a restless man, wanting adventure. His good looks meant that he was out of the fort on most nights, getting his thing on with some neighboring farmers wife or daughter.
He would be perfect. Despite his lack of respect for Sir Lorr, they both knew that Jonny very much respected the older knight. If anyone in the camp would help Lorr seek his fortune, it would be Jonny.
The next morning, Sir Lorr sat down next to Jonny at breakfast, and, while it drizzled slightly, and most men where still in their tents, outlined the plan he had been working on all night.....
You (9/30/2007 6:31:35 PM)
Sir Lorr was a young man, a mere twenty-two years o*beep*e. Many others wondered how exactly he had become a knight; Lorr's skills in combat were rather, to put it politely, wanting. Nor could he joust. Nor ride his horse without falling off once or twice in an hour. Lorr, however, did not quite seem to realize any of this.

"We shall leave tomorrow morning," Sir Lorr spoke. "I shall write a letter and leave it in my tent sayingwe have departed to track down a... a... er... yes, that's it, a monstrous beast that has slain countless villagers... a wild horse... no, a dragon. A dragonhorse! Er... yes, you get the idea, lad.

"After we set out we shall gather supplies for the journey. Er... no, we'll gather the supplies first and then set out on the journey. We shall ride to the north and ask the nearby villagers if they have seen the evil Banshee, and they shall house us and point us the way to the legendary beast. Then we shall find and slay the wicked fiend and claim the treasure and rescue the women and... um... ride around big cities in a big parade, I imagine.

"So now, Sir Jonny Bacardi, let us ride!"

"What about the letter?" the young knight asked.

"Er... yes. After the letter. Of course."

After two long and boring hours, Lorr had produced a parchment with lines sketched all over it. Supposedly it was writing. If one looked closely enough, they might find a recognizeable character or, if quite lucky, two.

Sir Lorr and Sir Jonny departed.

Ten minutes later they had retuned and put the letter in Lorr's tent.

They departed again, this time for good.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (9/30/2007 6:44:56 PM) GOOD BAD
As Lorr and Jonny rode out of the camp, for the second time, Jonny had a thought.
"Will this really be half as easy as you say it is?"
"Of course my boy," replied Lorr. "Shrek got his treasure and girl, didn't he? The wicked witch of the west had her flying monkeys, didn't she. Strongbad has marzipan, and so shall we."
Jonny became silent, and looked quizically at his new riding companion. He had no idea what he was going on about.

The day strecthed on, and still they found no village.

"I thought you said the village was this way," said Jonny, almost angrily.
"I thought so too. Maybe it migrated?" replied his companion.
"Maybe it sprouted wings and flew into the mountains, because the banshee came and tried to eat it!" said Jonny sarcastically.
"Thats a great hypohesis boy. Why didn't i think of that. Maybe we'll be able to find a sign of it here somewhere....."

As Sir Lorr proceeded to try and find a trace of the "missing" village, Jonny set up camp and made himself some coffee.
You (9/30/2007 7:42:31 PM)
Sir Lorr gave up after only a few short minutes, beginning to gather doubts about Jonny's theory of edible villages and returned to the camp. He drank some coffee to warm his bones from the slightly-chilly night, wondering if it would have been wise to have packed a coat for when it began to snow.

He attempted to pitch a tent, but the wind kept blowing it over. At long last he made a lean-to to keep himself out of the wind with a bunch of branches, rocks, and the tent's canvas.

"Not bad for the first day," Sir Lorr spoke. "How far do you suppose we have traveled? Thirty miles, I'm sure. Maybe forty. Fifty I think may be a little high, but not entirely out of the realm of possibility."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (9/30/2007 7:55:14 PM) GOOD BAD
Jonny looked over at his friend, a little surprised.
"Sir, I think forty is a very good guess indeed. I would say thirty eight. We made very good time, because we left o early, and missed the mid morning taffic around the fort entirely."

Jonny sat back, his blanket draped about his shoulders. He had set up his small, single man tent under some trees, and has tied a tarp above it. The fire was becoming rather low, but it was stil cozy. Life seeemd to be alright as both Lorr and Jonny drifted off into a nice, calm sleep.....
You (9/30/2007 8:05:32 PM)
"Whooo!" came a sound from the trees above. Sir Lorr woke up and quickly grabbed his sword, startled. Unfortunately, he accidently ripped a huge gash into the top of his tent.

As the fabric drifted down he saw an own sitting in a tree above, watching him.

"Get!" Sir Lorr shouted. The owl didn't budge. But Jonny had his head poking out of his tent, looking rather annoyed...

***

Mid afternoon the next day the two knights came to a valley. A river ran through it violently; over the course of the years it had cut quite a deep trench.

"Ah, a minor obstacle," Sir Lorr observed. "As confident as I am our horses could leap it, I might ask if you have an alternative."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (9/30/2007 8:12:28 PM) GOOD BAD
"Actually good sir, I do. I see that there is a bridge over there."
Jonny points to his left.
fifty meters away, a bridge spans the entire course of the river.

"May I Suggest we cross using that?"

"Well of course lad, lets do it."

The two companions walked over to the bridge. Before they reached their goal however, four rough looking men cme out from behind a tree.

'Well look-e-here" said one of them. "Some royal knights I see, out on a roayl quest me thinks. Maybe they've got some important stuffs on them."

"No, we haven't," Said jonny. "I think you and your little pals might want to return kindly to your place under that tree. It would be a shame if I fouled the river with your insides."
You (9/30/2007 8:21:49 PM)
"Stand aside," Sir Lorr spoke, "Lest you fear for your lives! Er... lest we fear for your lives... no... er..."

The men laughed. "Which stable did you run away from, boy? Run back to your master, apprentice. These lands aren't for little people like you."

"I am a knight!" Lorr shouted. "Now stand aside."

The outlaws continued to chuckle. "Oh, you don't get it, do--ugh!"

Sir Lorr had thrust his sword forward at the man. The bandit tried to leap back but the bridge was too narrow, and he fell back upon two of his peers. The sword had penetated his chest, blood starting to seep from the wound.

"All right, give it to 'em!" the standing bandit hissed as the other two struggled to their feet. He drew a dagger from his sheat and began to advance on the two.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (9/30/2007 8:31:24 PM) GOOD BAD
Jonny was done watching. Pulling his own his sword, he engaged the men with the dagger, and another with a spear.
Easily disarming the man with the dagger by just cutting his arm neatly off, he turned to the sepaman.

"You don't wanna do this to yourself," Jonny told him.

The man charged. Jonny knocked his spear down, ran up the feft, and did a flting jump kick straight into the mans face. He fell over crying, clutching his bleeding face.

The final man, seeing his three compatriots wounded, turned and fled.
You (9/30/2007 8:52:17 PM)
"Finely done!" Sir Lorr congratulated. "Strong technique! These wicked men shall not dare harm--"

An arrow flew from the other side of the bridge and landed directly on Lorr's breastplate, embedding itself inside the metal.

"My last statement may not have been fully correct," Lorr said, pulling the arrow out of his armor. "I suggest we continue on. Quickly."

The two knights remounted their horses and crossed the narrow stone bridge, stepping over the men lying on the ground. Lorr saw them stirring behind them, standing up and tearing bandages for their injuries.

***

Sir Lorr and Sir Jonny crossed rivers, mountains, forests, and plains as they traveled across the landscape. Each night seemed a little colder than the last, and their supplies of food were growing low.

"We must find a town and resupply," Sir Lorr said. "And we shall ask about the Banshee and swear reveange upon it when the villagers tell us of its hideous attacks! They shall give us food and wine and a warm place to sleep and bid us welcome on our journey!"

The first village they arrived at was a small cluster of houses along an old stone road. It was filled mainly with elderly men and women with a few young children. The houses were old and falling to pieces.

"Ah, I am sure these humble people shall welcome us warmly!" SIr Lorr spoke as the two approached. "Greetings, old man. My name is--"

"Bugger off!" the peasant sneered. "Yev taken all our men fer yer army and none of dem have ever come back. We don't got no more, so bugger off."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/1/2007 11:15:39 AM) GOOD BAD
Jonny tried really hard to supress the giggle that welled up in his throat.

"Here sir, let me try this," Jonny said to Lorr.

"Kind sir," Jonny began. "Me and my friend have heard of a certain something that has been pestering this good village. We are here to rid the lands of this dastardly dead doer, and bring order and happiness back to this village, and many others like it."

The man looked at Jonny, then turned around and walked into his house.

"I expect you'll want to be fed. Maybe want some extra food for your journey as well? Probably also a nice place to spend the nice. Well, what are you waiting for, tie your horses up, and come in. But be careful not to track any mud into the house. I just cleaned it."
You (10/1/2007 1:00:02 PM)
"Finely done," congratulated Sir Lorr.

Dinner consisted mainly of old bread and potatoes. The old man didn't have many teeth left, not surprisingly. And the water the man provided tasted foul. Sir Lorr ate it indiscriminately.

"So, old man," the Lorr began to inquire while they ate dinner around the peasant's three-legged table. "Tell me about this hideous and deadly beast that comes to your village with chaos and disorder and bring death to al your men."

"Eh? Why do you want to know that?" mumbled the man, potato falling from his mouth.

"We intend to find the foul creature and slay it!"

"Ha! Ye intend to kill the king?" laughed the man. Potato globs flew all over Lorr's face.

"Er..."

"Yeh, ah know what ye want. Well, there haven't been no monster attacks in this village. Ye see, we don't ever shower, so any damned monster won't eat us lest it die of food poisoning!" Another wave of potato pelted Lorr's face.

"So why did you let us in your house?" interrupted Jonny.

"I'm an old man, and ye don't stay an old man by telling two armed men 'no.' Hawhaw! Now the room upstairs has got a big hole in it, so I usally prefer the barn. The livestock keep it warm fer ye, if ye don't mind the smell and rolling over into the occasional pile er dung!"
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/2/2007 1:52:44 AM) GOOD BAD
"Well, I guess everyone has their own special way of remaining safe," said Jonny as his wrinkled his nose up a bit. "You say you have never heard of any monster attcking this village? What about the other villages in the area?"

"Well, I may have heard something about an attack by a crazy, screaming banshee, on a village about, 2 days ride from here. But, we don't get many visitors around here. We stink, remember."

"Of course, how could i forget," replied Jonny. "I am kind of tired. Will you lead us to the barn good sir?"

"Why of course. The barn is right this way. Just follow me."

As they walked outside, the two travelers had to be careful to avoid the dung. They reached the barn, a shabby looking structure, and went inside. As the old man lit a lantern, you could see the *beep*roaches scatter. It was a mess. Crap lay scattered all over the place. Jonny found a good amount of hay, and layed it upon a spot he had cleared, and lay down. He immediatley fel asleep.

Lorr and the old man stay up conversing all night.
You (10/2/2007 3:36:21 AM)
Every one of the old man's tales fascinated the knight. The old man spoke of ghosts, banshees, vampires, ghouls, werewolves, zombies, dragons, serpants, a variety of other nasty species with dozens of eyes, legs, and mouths, and the king. The old man had seen each and every one of them in his own life, he claimed. He fought off, too. Excorsized a couple of demons. Refused to pay his taxes.

The old man even began to repeat his tales twice, then three times over. The horizon was glowing before the time he'd finished them all, but at this time both the knight and the old man had dozed off, their combined snoring rocking through the stable.

The next morning the two knights prepared to set out. Sir Lorr carried a moldy canvas bag filled with blackened potatoes over his shoulder.

"Farewell, old man," Sir Lorr spoke. "We shall not forget your kindness you showed!"

"And goodbye, dear knights," replied the man. "Thank ye fer not cuttin me head off, harhar!"

****

The knights rode further north for the next two days. Lorr repeated the old man's tales to his peer, despite repeated pleas to just shut up.

Over a hill they saw the remains of a small town. As they rode closer they saw that the town was completely deserted. The houses were all empty of all goods, including food, pottery, and furniture.

As the two knights searched around the town's perimter they found a large, long trench of dirt. A single, sorrowful wooden cross rest on the freshly-dug mound, a solemn reminder of mass death.

"What happened here?" Sir Lorr asked, eyes wide.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/2/2007 11:54:40 AM) GOOD BAD
"my god," said Jonny. He seemed almost breathless. It was a little bit too much to take in. The smell of death was all around them. "I pray that we find retribution for these poor poor people. It is our duty. Our destiny even."

"Of course lad. But, lets kneel and say a prayer for the poor sould who died here."

"Of course. Once agian, you are right Lorr. How silly of me."

While the two men kneel on the earth, and quietly said their prayers for those no longer with us, they where being watched. Unbeknownst to them, four pairs of eyes looked over at them from inside the foilage. Then, quite quickly, four pairs of pubecent feet thundered down towards the two heros.

However, our heros where very well trained, their reflexes like lightning. Jonny easy stood up and pulled his sword.
Lorr remained kneeling, still in prayer.

As the would-be assailants came to a halt, Jonny gently tapped lor on the shoulder.

"What say.......O, right." Lorr stood up and pulled his sword as well.
You (10/2/2007 1:17:22 PM)
"Grrrrrwrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrg!" came a roar as the beings thundered toward the two knights.

"I don't suppose I've heard the name of this one," Sir Lorr said calmly. "Oh well. Perhaps I shall be able to name it myself."

The two knights each turned to face one of the adversaries, treading on the barren ground carefully. The beings stood uplike like humans but their skins were covered with co*beep* fur that seemed to blow in the breeze, despite the fact the fact the air was dead still. The heads were as rotting skulls, crawling with larva.

Sir Lorr engaged his opponent. As the thing ran toward him he quickly stepped to the side and took a swing at t. He tripped on a small spot of uneven ground however. Still, the being went past and continued to charge the opposite direction.

"Quite odd," Sir Lorr mumbled. He turned around to look for his peer and saw the same being now right behind him.

"Quite odd indeed," he reiterated and swung the sword at the creature, slicing a huge gash into its side. The wound did not bleed, and the creature seemed uneffected. Lorr tried to stab it next, but the sword merely wedged itself in the creature's body.

"Quite--"

All of a sudden Lorr heard the voic of a young girl. ""Go for the head, sir. They can't live without them."

He turned his head to the side as he pulled his sword back out and saw a ghostly figure beside him in the shape of a young daughter. She was missing an arm. Her clothes appeared bloody, although it was hard to tell from her wavering form.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 12:16:24 AM) GOOD BAD
"Whoa."

Jonny looks a bit surprised as the spirit girl walks toward him with her finger pointing at him.

"Look out," she says.

"He instictively ducks, just barely keeping his head on his shoulders. He turns around, and slashes at the creatures head while its off balance. A gurgle erupts, not so much from inside the mouth of the being, as inside the thraot area. Jonny turns around to see Lorr dispatch the other monster quit easily.

"Well. Thank you kindly there m'am. We are very much in your debt. If theres anything we can do to help ya out....."

Jonny trails off as the girl walks to the mass grave.

"No good sir. Those two where the things that killed off my village. There where two more, but they ran back to the evil wicked banshee, to warn her of your coming. She won't be very happy to hear about it. Thanks for all your help, bye."

With that, she disappeared. Jonny looked at Lorr, and sighed........
You (10/3/2007 12:51:42 AM)
"Such a wicked deed," Lorr spoke, shaking his head sadly. "Well, right then. Chin up. Let's take a quick look around and get going, shall we?"

The two knights searched the village for anything of use, but they found no useful supplies save some polish and a grindstone. Even the town's stables were empty... the four monsters had spared nothing.

****

The two passed severl more ravaged towns void of human life, and many others with weeping mothers and fathers. The villagers explained how there had always bee occasional attacks, that they simply carried on with life the best they could. But now the creatures attacked almost every night and the towns were quickly dying off.

Seven short days and long nights later, the two knights came to a city. It had tall, thick wooden walls lined with guardtowers. The gates were closed and barricaded with trees and destruction. Eve from a great distance, the two knights saw claw marks where creatures had attempted to penetrate.

The two knights gazed down into the town from the hills they stood upon. The city was not very large, housing perhaps only a couple thousand citizens. In most regards it was common, except for the stone cathedral in the center and the high tower rising from it.

"Ah, I suspect this city has been protected by some magic ward coming from that tower," Sir Lorr speculated. He then pointed down at the overgrown, trampled farms outside the city gates. "But I doubt they dare step foot outside much."

The knights approached the city and rode up to its gates. The city was silent.

"Hello! Hello? Anybody up there?" Jonny shouted from the gates.

Sir Lorr joined in with a long "Helloooooooooooooooooo!"

A man in rusted armor appeared on the wall, carrying a pike. Even under his chain armor it was apparent he was starving. "We can't let you in. Nobody is allowed inside!"

"Might I inquire as to why?" Lorr shouted.

"Those damn monsters have been trying to get inside every day and night. We're not opening our gates to nobody, refugee or king, until those blasted demons are gone!"

"Fear not, your adversaries have been--oh wait. Nevermind. There were four, I forgot. Well, we shall go and find slay your assailants. Then you must hold true to your word and allow us inside! Are we agreed?"

"Do whatever you please," the guard shouted. "But you won't be doing any finding. Or slaying, for that matter. That's what the monster's will be doing to you! You're not the only adventurers to go looking for the demons. The rest haven't ever come back!"
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 1:05:05 AM) GOOD BAD
"Ah well, those evil fiends have yet to meet up with us. I dare say we shall hack their heads off and stuff them down their overgrown bodies. What say you to that, sir." Jonny Chimed in.

"I think your both crazy. Thats what i say. You won't last very long outside the city thats for sure. You can try to kill them, but they just don't die. I've....errrr. got to...errrr....go now. Theres a monster right behind you. Bye." The guard said the last part so fast, that lorr didn't even fully understand him. But Jonny had. He quickly turned around, and swung his sword up, lobbing the monsters head off neatly, and spraying blood all over Sit Lorr.

"Awwww, look at what you've done lad. Soiled my vest."

"Lorr, it was already nasty looking anyways. The blood might have actually cleaned it off a bit."

The two adventurers set off, and made their way to a small, abandoned farm house, where they spent the night quietly scheming as to how to get to the evil banshee. By the mroning, they had come up with the perfect plan. They set out, to slay the evil demon, and make tons of money and so on and so forth.
You (10/3/2007 1:29:32 AM)
Every mile further north the lands began to grow colder. It was the autumn season when they had set out, but now winter was beginning to take hold and freeze the world. To make matters wore, they needed to journey into the mountains where winter winds lashed against everything in their paths.

The knights did not see any more villages this far north. Banshee or not, the lands were simply too inhospitable to live on. Their horses, despite generations of breeding of bravery, loyalty, and endurance, refused to travel further, so the knights released them and continued on foot.

"According to my book," Sir Lorr spoke, removing the tattered book from his side bag, "the Banshee resides in a deep mountain cave. Fortunate for us, the entrance is not hidden. The Banshee's palace was once a human stronghold over a millenium ago. It was the perfect place to house a army or a refugee king. It was well known that to even try to lay siege to the palace meant certain death.

"However, one year a crazed king led is army of a million men in chase of an army of merely several hundred. He brought his finest siege equipment and strongest warriors, but they could not break down the giant gate, even over the course of weeks.

"Summer passed and the weather grew cold. In order to survive the winter, the besieging army needed to turn back. But the king refused to send any troops home until the palalace was captured.

"Men began to die by the dozens, frozen in their tents or starved. The million strong halved after only the first week of winter. Every day after men died by the hundreds, until the only men left were the king and a small council of his closest follower. Even they began to feel the slow effects of starvation until they were near death.

"According to the story, the king who lived in the stronghold all this time, watching his attackers suffer and die, ventured out. The defending king was a dark wizard, skilled with magic. He approached the starving king and his men and offered them a deal. He would spare their lives if they were to end the attack, and in they were to serve the dark wizard for the remainder of their lives.

"The starving king had no choice but to accept the offer. Thus the wizard cast a dark spell upon the hungry men. They would never perish by hunger or cold or sickness... but their earthly bodies did not do the same. So even now the starving king and his men wander the mountains, skin whithered and frostburned like one long dead, serving the dark wizard by slaying any who approach the gates. This band of pitiful undeads are known as the Army of the Dead."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 1:50:43 AM) GOOD BAD
"wow, you really read a lot there, don't you. Seems like this army of the Dead people might be a bit of a challenge for us, we'd better just sneak by em, or find them, and pick them off, before they find us."


Jonny started looking around, feeling a ittle paranoid. He knew that this was an adventure that might cost them their lives, but the pay check at the end seemed to make every day worth it. The cold, and crazy long haired anamals, even these army of the dead people, seemed to pale in comparison. it would be a journey well traveled.

"Hey, look at that."

Jonny looked up. He must have been day dreaming. Lorr didn't seem to notice. The, Jonny saw it.

It was an open field. There where, what looked to be the reamins of sieg eengines all around it. Also, many frozen tents lined the interior of the plain. They seemed to be deserted. Its looked like no one had been here for ages. There was just an aura of evil all around it. It seemed to be a place of ill fortune.

A mountain could be seen, and a massive, gaping hole in it. gates could be seen, but they stood wide open, sinister, yet inviting anyone inside, who dared too anyways.
You (10/3/2007 2:07:16 AM)
"Well, that wasn't hard to find," Sir Lorr said cheerfully.

"Aren't you worried about the Army of the Dead?" Jonny said incredulously.

"The what now? Oh, them. Right. I figure we'll... well... figure something out when the time comes along, don't you?"

Sir Lorr began humming and treading through the snowy field toward the gate. He looked around casually, as if expecting to meet someone, or rather, something. After a while he pointed at a distant ridge.

"Over there. See those men watching us? They must be part of that legendary army," he spoke. "I can't wait to see them up close."

Whoosh! Something flew by over the knight's heads as they gazed into the distance. They turned around when they heard the WHUMP of a heavy object hitting he snow and saw a boulder rolling to a stop, gathering snow each revolution.

"Ah, it seems a though they are firing catapults at us," Lorr spoke. "I suggest we rush them."

The knights clomped through the snow until they reached a pair of catapults. The wheels were covered in ice, but the throwing arm and the sinew rope were not, evidence of its recent use.

"Where did they go?" Lorr said. "They're probably right behind us. I have a feeling for these things."

The knights turned around saw... nothing.

"Well that's odd, I usually--ah, tricky." As soon as the two knights turned back around they saw three ghastly figures of frozen men. The men, skin black and dark blue from the cold, rasped loudly as if their mouths were nearly sealed. Their beards were encased in frost, their faces sunken in resembling those of skeletons. But within the eyes was a fierce blue glow, the last remaining essence of life within the ancient soldiers.

The three soldiers stiffly yanked daggers from frozen sheaths and began advancing towards the knights. Sir Lorr casually swung his sword at the creature's head. But instead of cutting it off, it merely cut in less than a centimeter as if some inner layer ice protected the walking corpses.

"Hm," Lorr pondered. "Any ideas, Jonny?"
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 3:16:03 AM) GOOD BAD
"well, ehm. I'm not too sure. It doesn't seem like we've gathered ourselves in too good of a predicament, have we?" Jonny seemed rather at peace, even though death seemed almost imminent.

Just then, and idea struck him like a thunderbolt. "Their frozen. Haha, we've got them now. Lorr, Have you got any materials to make a fire?" Lorr nodded his head slowly, as the idea seemed to don on him as well.

"We'll melt the brutes to extinction. Excellent idea my boy."

As Lorr set around making a small fire, Jonny started to pary the slow moving dagger blades of the frozen monsters. Just one they seemed to have gained ground, a crackling sound came from behind Jonny. He felt the heat of the samll flame.

Lorr tenderly held the flame, as it became bigger. Jonny got next to it. The monsters seemed reluctant to follow him. The flame must be working agianst them.
You (10/3/2007 3:37:32 AM)
"Pardon me mister, hahah!" laughed Sir Lorr. He suddenly stepped behind one of the frozen men and tried to pick the body up, but it was too heavy. Instead, Lorr pushed the stumbling siege engineer forward until it reached the base of the fire. Then, one swift kick and it fell into the flames.

It didn't burst into flames. In fact, it seemed rather resistant to them. But with the loss of its frozen state, the creature's head cut easily off.

Sir Jonny took care of another one of the solidiers in a similar manner before Sir Lorr dealt with the last. The three bodies, now dry, began to burn.

"Nicely done," Sir Lorr congratulated. "Always take life one step at a time. Now, what do we do with the other few thousand marching towards us up that hill?"

Jonny turned around and saw the snow crawling with the dark blue figures. They seemed to be rising up out of the ground, as if awoken from their slumber beneath the snow. Some carried daggers, others swords and daggers. Yet others bore bows and were attempting to fire at the knights, but after a thousand years their accuracy had significantly diminished.

"I've an idea," Sir Lorr suddenly said. "Did you ever build Ball Monsters when you were young, Sir Jonny?"

"Ball Monsters?"

"Yes. Three balls of snow packed on top of each other to make little monster men."

"You mean snowmen?"

"Er... perhaps. Anyway, help me roll some torsoes."

The two knights quickly formed small balls of snow and sent the rolling down he hill toward the Army of the Dead. Each snowball grew larger and larger, crushing the undead in their paths, or simply incorporating the bodies in the exanding masses of snow. However, this still wasn't enough. The cursed warriors kept coming.

"We can't possibly fight all them off," Jonny remarked.

"I have a better idea. My, I never thought I'd be doing all this child's play as a full-grown knight, hahah!" Sir Lorr approached one of the catapults and tore off a wooden board. "Jump aboard!"

The two knights tried their best to sit on the board while it was positoned at the top of the hill. Sir Lorr then propelled the makeshift sled forward, holding his shield up.

"Prepare for justice!" The sled slid down the icy hill, plowing through the ranks of undead, knocking the frozen bodies aside.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 11:42:32 AM) GOOD BAD
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Oh man, this is great, brings me right back to my youth days. Oh, except for the frozen thingies trying to kill us of course. Oh watch out for that one.....O, never mind, we already hit him. Try to avoid them if possible Lorr." Jonny seemed very pleased with what was going on. The frozen people where wicked fun, as long as they didn't catch you. Luckily, they where incrdibly slow, their joints not being warm enough, and stiff from thousands of years of sleep.

The slid easily past the zombies, and reached the bottom of the hill before most of the zombies had even turned around. They made their way, quitte rapidly, to the cave entrance.

"Wait." Jonny looked at the entrance. It looked very big and scary. "We have no idea whats beyond these doors do me?" Lorr Shook his head, signifieing that he had no idea. "Well, we have some time, lets make some fire real fast, so that the cave isn't near as sary, and maybe also try to figure out how to close this gate. I know, it'll trap us in there with the zombie. But, it will also trap us away from the frozen thing gummies."

Lorr thought about it, then excalaimed "An excellent plan lad. Truely remarkable. I am all for it."

They set around making some torches, and lit them. Next, they tried to find a gate house of some sort, to help close the gate. Jonny excalimed "I think I've found the lever!"

"Really lad, what makes you think that?"

"Above the lever is a plaque that reads "Pull up to close the gate."

As they closed the gate, it barely made a noise. How wierd. As the two heroes went through th cave, the gates shut up, blocking the evil frozen army from following them.

"Do you think the evil banshee knows we're here yet, Jonny?"

Right when he spoke these words, Lorr tripped, and sent his torch flying. It hit the wall, right above a wall torch. It let the wall torch, and every other wall torch lit up as well, as if by some sort of magic.

"If she didn't, she sure does now. Come on Lorr, lets keep moving. Better draw our weapons too."
You (10/3/2007 1:13:59 PM)
"Legend says that if you hear the Banshee wailing outsie your door it means you are not going to survive the night," Sir Lorr said. "So make sure you don't have anything resembling a door with you, that ought to throw the Banshee off."

The two adventurers followed the square-shaped chamber into a more cavernous region. Only the floor had been smoothed enough to walk on. The two could hear the gurgle of running water far down below them, between the rocks. Every drip cast an eerie echoe reverbrating about.

In time the chamber narrowed until the cavern would certanly become impassible, forming into a crevice less than a foot wide, though still more than miles long. However, the knights came to an iron ladder that led down a pit and further into the deep.

"I figure we must be the only people to have passed here for many centuries," Sir Lorr spoke. "Perhaps we should bring a souvineer."

"How about a sharp piece of metal lodged in the heart? That will do quite nicely," responded Jonny's voice. Sir Lorr turned around but saw the other knight looking baffled.

"Did you say that?" Sir Lorr inquired.

Then, in Lorr's voice came, "Oh, I quite cherish the thought of that, what a superb idea!" despite the fact he had never even opened his mouth.

The two knights looked about at whoever was mimicking their voices but saw nothing.

"Quite odd," Sir Lorr murmured

"Welcome to the halls of my domain, travelers. Here you will find great treasures beyond your imagination, and they're all yours. You've made the quest and you so rightly deserve." The two knights then saw a glowing, fiery figure hovering in the air. "The only last feat you must endure is TO DIE!"

Suddenly, twelve soldiers jumped out from behind rocks. They bore the appearance of their frozen brethren, but their flesh was not frozen, and they did not walk stiffly. Rather, the warriors seemed extremely agile.

"The king's closest men," Lorr spoke. "His finest warriors. This ought to be a challenge."

The twelve undead began to advance on the pair, swords raised...
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/3/2007 11:13:51 PM) GOOD BAD
"Oh dammit. You have got to be kidding me. Twelve of them. That seems hardly fair. Oh well, I guess we'll have to split this up evenly. Lorr, you take the first two, I'll take the rest." Jonny seemed to be almost half kidding, but he was being dead serious.

As the first man charged, Jonny eaily parried his sword, and brough his own blade slicing through the flesh of his attcker. It slide through easily, encountering no bone, no blood. It was just creepy. As the man fell, not a cry excaped his lips. Rather, he seemed rather pleased. He had not been happy as a living undead. His eyes seemed to thank Jonny as he brought his sword down, hacking the undeads head off, sending it rolling away. The body did not move.

"I guess we'll have to take these guys out, much the same as we did the beasts. Except that there are a lot more of them, and these guys are a lot more skilled with swords."

Lorr looked on. Another warrior charged, with two in his wake. As Jonny disarmed the first one, a swing by the second one was easily blocked by Lorr. The third one swung, which Jonny quickly ducked under, swinnging his own sword. The undead knight was too fast, and jumped back before he wa*beep*. The disarmed sword clanged agianst a wall, making an awful raucus.

Jonny and his opponent seemed to be both very skilled, circling each other in a deadly dance of death. Then, Jonny saw his opening, and he took it. A light swing at the lower body, he cut up at just the right time, cathcing the evil one just at the elbow of his sword arm, hacking it completely of*beep*rowl escped its lips, the first noise any of the undead had made since the fighting began. It was a low rumble, and seemed to come from the creatures throat. Tired as he was, jonny plunged his sword into the undead warriors chest, and twisted it, and cut up, though the rib cage. The warrior fell back, and immediatley disintegrated.


18:53:57 Oct 8th 07 - Sir Hephaestus:

You (10/4/2007 1:45:04 AM)
Sir Lorr took a somewhat different approach to the battle. He disregarded all his training and began swinging his sword at the undead like a madman, crying out triumphantly with each swing. The undead sucesfully parried each blow, but a kick to the dead mens' stomachs knocked them against the jagged rock where their weak flesh tore open.

In a matter of time the undead warriors lay around the floor, dismembered and crushed.

"Finely done," congratulated Sir Lorr, sheathing his sword. "Let us ascend."

The two climbed up the ladder, although with moderate difficulty. Their bulky plate armor weighed them down, and when they came to the top it took some careful positioning to climb up and out of it. Luckily, the knights accomplishe the feat.

Breathing quietly, the knights relit their torches and observed their surroundings in the flickering orange light. They now seemed to be in one massive chamber, based on the current of the air and the lack of a visible ceiling. The walls seemed to be twenty feet high and did not connect to a roof.

"What is this place?" Jonny asked, holding out his torch. He accidentally kicked a skull lying on the ground.

"Hm... I believe it is a labrinth. But luckily for us, the way out of the maze is written right here on page..." Sir Lorr lowered the torch in order to read the pages better until it was within centimeters of the page.

"Are you sure you should be holding the fire that close to--whoa!" Jonny stepped back as the dry page darkend and burst into flame.

Lorr dropped the book and began stomping the fire out. However, the book landed on its spine, and not only did he put out the fire, but also succeeded in tearing out several pages and crushing it. "Oops."

"Is the map alright?"

"Er..." Lorr flipped through the pages. Several clusters of them fell out, which he stuffed back in without any particular order. "Er... no. The map's burnt completely off."

Jonny groaned. "Well let's get started."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/4/2007 2:22:48 AM) GOOD BAD
The two heros began their long journey to the end of the massive maze. It was going to be a long a possibly dreadful, even hazardous journey, until Jonny found the exit. It was on the other side, all one had to do was follow the outside of the maze, and you got through. Only fools would think of doing something so genius.

As the two men walked into yet another cavern, their eyes found something unimaginable and fascinating. The cavern was beautful. The stalagmites glistened with water running dwon them. The stalgtites sparkled, growing up into the spacious room above. An underground creek flowed along one side of cavern, the noise it made just gave the entire scene a sense on tranquility.

"Its too bad this is all going to be destoryed when we kill the banshee, save the girl, and take the gold." said Lorr, almost absentmindedly.

"What....... What are you going on about? What girl.......what?" was all Jonny was able to get out.

"Theres always a girl. Remember, I told you that already. And, everyone knows that, when you kill the monster and take the gold, the room and/or cave collapses, trying to kill the heros. Don't worry, we wouldn't be heros if we died then though, now would we?" Lorr seemed quit content with his not to great an explanation of things.

"Thats what I'm a fraid of," was all Jonny could say in response.
You (10/4/2007 3:17:45 AM)
"Wait, didn't you say there was an entire chamber of frozen virgins, held by the Banshee?" Jonny asked.

"Er... yes, I do seem to recall saying such," Sir Lorr said, grinning widely. "The more the merrier, eh?"

"Yeah, but you can't save a whole chamber of virgins," Jonny replied. "When do you ever hear about that in the stories? The knight only rescues one girl and then marries her."

"Yes, but in this particular case, there are two of us. And when there's two knights in the stories, they... er... well, one of them always dies valiantly fighting the monster and then his companion, in a surge of anger and sorrow, slays the beast. Which makes it much simpler to determine who gets the virgin." Sir Lorr began humming after a considerable length of silence.

"Right, well, it's about time one of us should be dying off then, isn't it?" came Jonny's voice. However, he had not uttered a word. "Why not make it easy and just both die? Yes, I like that very much!"

The knights saw the dark glow of the banshee in the air above them, gliding through the stalagmites towards them. Arcane power crackled from her obscure figure like tentacles of lightning. Since the banshee bore to physical form it seemed impossible to attack.

"Run!" This time it really was Jonny's voice.

The knights stumbled through the caves, pursued by the ethereal figure. The banshee cried out in many different voices. Lorr recognized his mother's voice during one paritcular threat, which brought back some memories. Come to think of it, the memories weren't so diferent now; he'd done a lot of fleeing from his mother during is childhood years as well. It wasn't his fault the vase fell over, well maybe it had something to due with his clumbsiness of course, so it was always just best to run.

A minute later the banshee had stopped trying to pursue them, looking drained of her energy. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET ME KILL YOU?" she yelled.

Then she began a long, high-pitched screech that pierced the knight's ears like thousands of little needles...

"The cry of the banshee!" Lorr said. "Sure death to all who ear it. Jonny, join my in song, will you?"

"What are trying to do?" Jonny shouted, clutching his ears.

But Lorr continued anyway, waving his arms as if holding a frosty mug of ale. He began the first verses of a popular dwarish drinking song.

"Drink hearty me lads, for the night is young
and tomorrow it's my job to clean out the dung
so join me with another pint of ale
and listen to my drinking tale!"

Sir Jonny recognized the song and began to join in.

"The digger, he found a pound of gold
the cavemaster, he stole it so bold
the axemen, he chased the cavemaster down
and the runemaster, he judged the theif with the deepest frown."

"The runemaster did declare the theif to hang
and smashed down his hammer with a mighty bang
they held the cavemaster until the dawn
but in the morning they'd found that he had gone!"

The two knight's song echoed throughout the cavern as they began the final verse.

"Now the digger keeps looking to find the loot
and the cavemaster runs to avoid the boot
the runemaster sighs and fingers the forgotten gold
and so we end this drinking tale of old!"

The knights doubled over in laughter. After a while they looked around, but the banshee was nowhere in sight.

"You see, the wail of the banshee is only deadly if you listen to it, hahah!" laughed Sir Lorr. "I bet she's angry!"
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/4/2007 10:50:16 AM) GOOD BAD
"hahaha, oh, it has been a hwile since I last sang that song. Very well done Lorr, I would have never thought of it. And yes, I bet she is rather angry at is. Probably having a little hissy fit over at the bottom of her cave right now. Awwwwwwww, poor banshee, hahaha." Jonny just couldn't stop himself from laughing. He did not know why it was so funny to have sang the drinking song, but he thought it funny all the same.

As Lorr calmed dwon he started to wonder if Jonny was okay or not, his laughing, which still had not subsided, was starting to become a nuisance. As he looked around, he found some water, and splashed it over Jonny's face. This quickly got the poor young man to stop laughing, as he sputtered his way out of his coma of hilarity.

"Thanks bro," said jonny. "I'm not quit sure what came over me right there, but it wasn't very good at all. Man, i wonder if it has something to do with the banshee. That part where she talks like us, and people that we know, it really really sucks."

Jonny and Lorr set around exploring the cave some more. When they had done that, they laid down discussing how to possibly kill the banshee. They could run from it forever, but, that did not seem like such a good idea at all.....
You (10/4/2007 3:04:26 PM)
"Does your book say anything about how to kill her?" Jonny asked.

"Oh, yes, wonderful idea," Lorr sad, flipping through the damaged pages. "Yes, here, in the chapter 'slaying of funney ghosts'--funney used to mean strange, but the way--'and other spiritual entities.' Well, our swords won't do anything against her, because she isn't really there, even though she is. She's somewhere else when she's here. Er... something like that.

"According to these pages we must chant the Ritual of Birth and splash holy water, which will capture her unearthly essence and force it to take physical shape. Then, and only then, will we be able to kill her."

"What's the ritual of birth?" inquired Jonny. "I dont' know it."

"Don't worry, it's written here on the next page. It, er... goes as following..." Sir Lorr turned red in the face from embarassment. "In goeth the man, swelleth the belly, out poppeth the babe. Babe groweth up into a fine manne or womanne, and entereth another, and out poppeth grandebabe. So the womb groweth in the rivers of life, thou shalt whither like the death thou art."

"Right," responded Jonny. "Now let's go find her."

The two explored the cave until Jonny noticed a smooth wall that swung outward, a hidden door. The two knights ventured inside the dark chamber through it. The sound of trickling water could be heard like some sort of short waterfall.

"Light up another torch," Jonny spoke.

Sir Lorr lit it and suddenly the entire room flashed with light. The knights opened their mouths widely when they saw what lay within. The room was large and decorated with carpets and tapesstries. In the center was a fountain, a single stream of water spraying up into the air. Bowls of fruits lay around all over the floor. But none of these were the first thing they noticed.

Rather, the two knights saw dozens of young women lying around, clad in light, desert clothes, or in some instances, no clothes at all. They looked up at the two knights with large, curious eyes and began to approach.

"Er... are you the virgins?" Sir Lorr asked.

"Not for long." The most beautiful woman the knights had ever seen sauntered over to Jonny and began to stroke his face with her soft, delicate fingers. He could smell her perfume. It was, he thought, the exact way temptation must smell if it had a scent.

Sir Lorr was being tended to by a group of other women. They kissed him lightly and began to remove his armor in order to get closer to his skin. He had a sheepish smile, but his eyebrows indicated he was deep in thought.

Jonny felt the women take his armor off piece by piece. Then, they eased him to the ground and began to climb on his body. Sir Lorr, on the other hand, would not let them remove his. He suspected something was wrong.

About a third of the women stayed back, not daring to approach the knights. Nor were they smiling. In fact, they looked rather uncomfortable in their revealing outfits.

"Ah-ha!" Lorr cried. He swiftly drew his sword and stabbed it though one of the women in front of him and pushed the rest away.

"What are you--holy--!" Jonny saw that the women were quickly transforming into more soldiers of the Army of the Dead, their beautiful flesh blackening and their perfume turning to the stench of decomposition. Thick, gorgeous hair shriveled up into white, ghostly strands. And all of a sudden they began to scratch at him, with fingernails and daggers...
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/5/2007 1:38:37 AM) GOOD BAD
"Oh my god, oh my god, get the bloody Hell offa me!"

Jonny began to tear at the evil undead that where on top of him, as if his life depended on it, because, in all actuality, it did. He became furious, and tore hard. He reached for his sword, and hacked at the closest one. he knocked one of their heads off, and shattered another ones knee cap before being able to get up and away. Half naked, Jonny and Lorr started to slowly back away, and the half dozen eveil zombie things started to approach them, sensing their victory.

Just then, a stone hit one of the undead in the back of the head, with such force, that it penetrated its skull. The undead full over, and Jonny quickly ran up and just cut off its right hand.

The thrower, one of the virgins, picked up another stone, and hurled at at another one of the evil beings, with such force, that it completely penetrated its rib cage, and bounced off the rock wall in front of it, just inches away from lorrs head.

"I daresay there madam, can you be a bit more careful next time." Was all Lorr could manage to say.

"Stuff it Lorr, shes helping us a lot more then we're helping ourselves right now. She may be the only chance we've got." Jonny lunged forward and kicked another one of the zombies right in the back of the leg, where it wasn't expecting it. Its knee buckled and just blew apart.

Lorr jumped up, and kicked one of the other undead monsters so hard in the chin, that its jaw flew up into its skull.

The battle was quickly won after that, with the remaining wrong ders easily dispatched. Jonny walked over to the young lady who had probably just saved their lives, and knelt down befor her and said.

"i thank you from the bottom of my heart, fair lady. You have saved me and my companion from almost certain death. If there is anything i can do to repay you, please tell me, and i will surely do it."
You (10/5/2007 2:55:32 AM)
Some of the remaining women began to approach. They looked relieved, yet still approached the two knights lightly.

"No, we thank you for saving us," the woman said. "We have been held here for... for an eternity. We have no count of days nor of the years, we know not whether we have spent decades or eons trapped here... Mothers we should have been, grandmothers, and then fall into peace, but we can be none here."

"Well, you are free to leave," Lorr spoke. "You have much to see. My peer and I have one more feat to accomplish, a feat that may easily claim our lives, but we fear not for our quest is our greatest determination so that nothing else fills our mind. Er... well, quests and the love of beautiful women."

The woman stared at Lorr for a second with an annoyed look. "We cannot leave this chamber as long as the banshee lives. The aura here that keeps us young traps us inside. There used to be many more of us here, but some could not endure. The banshee said when we could bear it no longer, we could simply leave through those doors you see behindus. But those who tried to leave became one of her undeads, and though they stayed in our mortal bodies their souls were trapped and tormented in the true shapes you fought tonight."

"Well, then, it seems slaying the Banshee is in order. Don't run away on us now, harhar. Er... sorry. That was inappropriate. Er... come, Jonny, let us seek the Banshee!"

Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/5/2007 10:23:27 AM) GOOD BAD
"Good bye my dears, we shall return to save you all. I promise."

With that, Jonny and Lorr took their leave of the chamber of th virgins. Once they got out, Lorr turned to Jonny, and said,"Nice girls. So, now do you think we should do now?"

"I say we keep on exploring. We really do need to find that banshee."

They set of*beep*ian. Not too much later, they walked into a cave that not even they had imagined existed. It was the treasure cave.

Beautiful tapestries, blood red rubies, perfect diamonds, sea blue sapphires, perfect emeralnds, and more gold then any one man would. know what to do with. It was the most magnificent sight either of the men had seen.

Then they heard the scream, the infernal, crazy, and deathly scream of the banshee. Lorr quickly flipped the pages of his book. He found the page with the chant, and both Jonny and Lorr started to recite it. Just as they finished, Lorr started searching himself for some holy water......
You (10/5/2007 3:40:37 PM)
"Er... you don't happen to have any holy water with you, by any chance, do you?" Lorr asked.

"No. What is holy water, anyway?"

"Er... it's water. Water that is holy. Comes from the basins of a cathedral, concentrated blessings o*beep*od or goddess, or perhaps the whole lot of em. Nice trade rate, one pound of gold for one gallon," Lorr replied, scratching his head.

"So... we don't actually have any, do we?"

"Er... no. Um... I think we have to do that chant again, it may have lost its effect by now."

Jonny slapped his forehead.

Luckily, the banshee had stopped its wail. Unluckily, it meant she had another trick up her sleeve. Or perhaps gown; it was hard to tell. Several figures emerged from the darkness, more of the Army of the Undead. But unlike the other pitiful beings, these walking corpses wore heavy plate armor and carried massive greatswords and axes practically effortlessly.

The largest undead warrior wore an ornate crown on his head. A scarlet robe lay draped over his armor. At first thought, Lorr thought he may have been the original king who had been granted lasting life by the dark wizard, but he remembered plate armor had only been invented some three hundred years ago.

"You have come far, knights," the figure spoke raspily, its voice like dried leaves scraping stone. "But you will never defeat Edorla, the banshee whom you seek. She will not kill you, instead she will prison you in here forever, in great pain, until you submit. And when you submit, you serve her for the rest of your... unnatural lives, which is an eternity."

"Who are you?" Lorr asked.

"I was once like you," the undead king spoke sadly. "I too came to kill her with my men here. But she is strong, unimaginably strong. She has been toying with you because you amuse her, but when she grows bored she will attack you, both with physical pain, but also with mental torture. She knows every mistake you have made, every love you have lost, every dissapointment of failure, and she makes you know you are nothing but a silly fool in heavy armor. And you will give in. And you will serve her."

"Why are you helping us?" Jonny asked suspiciously.

The undead king lay a bony hand on Jonny's shoulder. Jonny gazed into his dimly-glowing red eyes and saw pain. "Free us!"

He then raised a small glass bottle attatched to a necklace out from under his armor. Holy water.

"I never had the chance to use it," he said, shaking his head. "It is yours, once--"

"Why, thank you," Lorr said, reaching out his hand. But one of the other armored warriors smacked it back with iron force.

"Once you defeat me, take it from my body. I am bound against my will to fight you because I serve Her. Now raise your sword and attack."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/5/2007 10:17:03 PM) GOOD BAD
"Awwwwwww. Are you serious! He can't be serious. Man, this really blows."

Jonny was not really feeling the love that the immortal king was obviously trying to share. And so, with a not too happy smile on his face, he lifted his sword, and lorr did the same.

The kings warriors came forward. One with an exceptionally heavy looking battle axe decided he wanted to try and take out Jonny. He swung it hard and fast, expecting to just lob Jonnys head right off. Instead, he swung at air, because Jonny had seen the move and ducked. Before the skelatol man had even taken this in, Jonny cut off his leg, right at the knee cap. There was no blood, no scream at all. The man just fell, never to rise agian.

Jonny looked over at lorr, to see him still fighting a man with a broadsword.

It took the two of them a half hour of one on one matches, but they eventually defeated everyone, until only the king remained, a pile of bones scattered around him, the vile of holy water around his neck.

"You are both very skilled swordsman, but not the best. I am the greatest swordsman to ever walk the world, and not even i could defeat her. You have no chance!"

With that, he lunged at the heros, with agility you would not expect out of a dead undead king wearing plate armor....
You (10/6/2007 6:51:11 AM)
Lorr, taken by surprise, tried his best to dodge the undead's attack. However, he was too slow and was knocked to the ground, the massive heap of bones and armor pressing him to the ground. Now the two fighters were sword-wrestling on the ground, trying to push their blades into the other's throats.

Jonny took the hardest swing he could manage, slicing down at the undead's back. The force of the blade sent sparks flying, but it barely even penetrated. He gazed down in disbelief for a moment, then returned to his senses and began to position the tip of his blade in the weakest region of the enemy's armor.

Unfortunately, he did not have long enough to set it up properly. At long last, Lorr managed to push his opponent off to the side, just as Jonny thrust his blade downward...

"*beep*!" Lorr never swore. His apparent inability to anger shattered. However, in this particular instance he had a good reason, and quickly rolled to the side before his friend's blade bore down on him.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jonny shouted as the tip of his sword clattered harmlessly into the stone ground.

"Don't be sorry, watch out for--!" responded Lorr, pointing behind Jonny. The younger knight quickly turned around to see the undead's massive sword bearing down on his head. A quick pommel to the undead's skeletel face was enough to displace the blow, and the great sword shattered on the ground.

"I was the greatest hero of my time!" the king shouted a he drew a light one-hand sword, clearly not his weapon of choice. "I slayed monsters, demons, and dragons, and monsters of such horror none dare to even tell tales of! But I fell to Her presence; what makes you, you two pitiful *beep*s who call themselves knights, think you can do better?"

Jonny parried a few swings. He wasn't exactly sure how; all he could remember seeing were slight glimmers in the air. Meanwhile, Lorr crept up behind the undead and swung his sword sideways at its waist. But the hulking warrior again surprised the knights with his agility and ducked, causing Lorr to nearly hit Jonny instead.

Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/6/2007 1:20:33 PM) GOOD BAD
Jonny, having just avoided death twice, was quickly becoming well acquanted with the feeling. As the undead king once agian charged at Jonny, he saw his chance. Taking a dagger from his belt, he threw at as hard as he could at his enemy. The undead jumped, but, not quit high enough. Prolly as high as a white person wearing armor should be able to jump really.

Anyway, the dagger hit him right in the side, slightly piercing, but mainly knocking him off balance in the air. With a look of disbelief, the former king of old fell back down to earth, his head splitting, shattering on the stone floor.

Pieces of skull got flung everywhere, spraying the two knights.

Quickly, Jonny ran over and grabbed the vile off the body of the king, while yelling at Lorr to reopen the page so they could recite the verse a final time.

The banshee was angry. these two wrethches had destoryed all her play things, and where still alive. She would teach them a lesson.

As she started to fly towards the two heros, they started to recite the chant. The took out the holy water, and, just as the banshee was close to reaching it, they finished the chant....
You (10/6/2007 5:41:23 PM)
The banshee recoiled, screeching loudly. Her ghostly gown drifted through the air as she attempted to retreat, but it was too late. Lorr flung the vial as hard as he could to the stone just above the banshee's body, the water bursting out of the vial and splashing all oer the banshee.

Each drop of water seemed to pull a small bit of the banshee's body toward it until her body was series of strings attatched to the falling water. She desperately tried to fly away, but the droplets continued to pull her in. Screeching louder than ever before, she clawed at the air as if trying to hold on to it, but her efforts failed. The water consumed her body, and her presence was gone.

Both knights stood there for a moment, looking at the beads of water flickering in the torchlight.

"Is that it?" Jonny asked.

"Er... yes. Let's go find those ladies, shall we?" Lorr brushed some dirt off of his armor.

"I do have one question, though," Jonny spoke. "Whatever happened to the dark wizard who began all this?"

"Oh, the following spring he left this place and found religion. He became a priest and helped a lot of people; you'll find him in many stained-glass windows in the great cathedrals," recited Lorr.

"But what about this place? Wouldn't he try to go back and undo the curse?'

"That's the funny thing. He was on the way back here as an old man, but he got caught in a winter storm and died from hypothermia."

Jonny laughed. "So then where does a banshee come into all of this?"

"Er... well... some say she is the evil manifestation of the... er.. evil that happened here. Sources don't quite agree, really. Others say--"

"You don't know where she came from, do you?"

"Er... no. She probably just liked the whole cursed feel of the place."

The knights backtracked to the room with all the treasure, but were unable to carry any away, so they returned to where the women were.

The young women had apparently already discovered that the force that trapped them had dissolved, and only one woman remained, the first who had approached the knights. She ran to the two and hugged them. "Thank you," she whispered. "The others have gone in search of supplies and clothes that will keep us warm outside. At long last, we are free."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/7/2007 2:35:35 AM) GOOD BAD
"It was no problem mam, we are always pleased to be of service to you and your friends. We should probably stay here and wait for their return, eh?"

As the three of them waited next to the fountain, they got to talking. The lady had missed much, as she had been locked for the past milenia or so. They found some common ground. All three enjoyed reading the political teachings of Marcus, the great, raving mad philosopher who accidently came up with his theories while trying to write a book on agriculture.

Soon, the young ladies retruned, with food and clothing. They all had a giant feat there in the middle of the cavern. Then jonny took Lorr to one side, and asked him a question.

"Wheres the treasure at? And, how do we get out of here?"
You (10/7/2007 6:17:59 AM)
"I haven't the foggiest." Lorr took a bite out of a juicy green apple. Exactly why the palace had been stocked with food was was beyond him, for its inhabitants were dead. And the dead tend to not have large appetites. Save zombies, of course, but their diet consisted more of raw flesh than it did fresh fruit.

"We could ask the ladies to help us carry it," Jonny suggested.

"Oh, absolutely not. That wouldn't be very chivalric, now, would it?"

"Well think of something!" Jonny demanded. "How are we going to get all the treasure out of here?

Lorr sighed. "The best treasure comes from the heart, from the mere joy of fighting for righousness, and winning the hearts of the commonfolk. That is the greatest treasure a knight can have, and it lies upon the righteous knight's weightlessly."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I'm talking about the second best treasure."

"You mean the ladies? Oh, I imagine they can walk on their own."

"No, I mean the gold!"

Lorr gave Jonny an odd look. "Don't you know the chivalric code? Ladies come before gold. And righteousness comes before ladies. It's all a very definitive concept, the chivalric code. There are some nifty graphic organizers for it, it's really--"

"HOW DO WE GET THE GOLD OUT OF HERE?"

"Jeez, you mustn't shout. We'll take what we can carry and return late for the rest."
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/7/2007 1:10:10 PM) GOOD BAD
"Hmmmmmmm. A very interesting proposition. I like it. We can put them in our sleeping bags, and we'd be able to carry tons of it with us."

Jonny looked quit proud of himself. The Gold would make him a very wealthy man. Maybe he'd even be able to train his own army, on his own estate. Maybe he'd start a military academy, a dream that had been his fathers, until he had passed away at an early age. Maybe he'd just retire and live a way better life then anyone else ever could.

It didn't matter. They where going to be rich.

After the delicious meal, the group of woman, led by the two knights, started to make their way back towards the surface. They where weighed down slightly by the gold and gems, but, that was not much of a problem. It became apparent very quickly that neither of the two knights knew where they where going. The woman became very agitated, when asked if they knew the way up.

"Of course we don't. Its been eons since we traveled down these tunnels! For you two, its only been a few days! Whats wrong with you!" And such harsh words where used. The two knights felt bad.
You (10/7/2007 9:21:10 PM)
It took some time, but one of the women finally found a way out of the underground palace and out into the fierce winter winds. The women, who had never left the comfortable temperature of their prison for ages, were not used to the cold.

However, after coaxing them out, the party traveled down the mountain. They passed by the thousand corpses of the frozen Army of the Dead, who now lay lifeless on the snow.

"Well, I dare say we are at adventure's end," Lorr spoke. "All in all--"

"Grrrrrwrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrg!" The roar sounded somewhat familiar... The knights spun around and saw a familiar monster. It was the kind with the co*beep* white fur and rotting, skeletel head. They had fought and killed three, and until now forgot about the last...

The women tried to stumble away from the monster, but it leaped down off of a small ledge right in front of one woman's path. She screamed as it picked her up and threw her against a rocky outcropping with lethal force.

"Elya!" screamed one of the women. "Someone help her!"

The two knights charged toward the beast before it could harm anyone else. Both Lorr and Jonny swung their swords at the creature's head from opposite sides. Both sword*beep* the target and the enemy's fell off, sliced both at the neck and through the eyes.

With the monster slain, the knights ran to help Elya, but it was too late. After an eternity of surviving the madness of the cursed palace and being so close to freedom, she was dead.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/8/2007 2:32:33 AM) GOOD BAD
"Poor poor Elya. She was soo close."

The woman began tocry, as Jonny and Lorr burried her body with stones. The ground was too hard to dig in.

They then went down the mountain, and came to a village. It was quiet. The villagers had been the last ones too see Jonny and Lorr before they left on their quest. It had been nearly a week since they traveled up tha cursed mountain looking for treasure and virgins, and not many people could believe what they where seeing.

Most didn't belive they had done it, until they saw the woman that the two knighst escorted. Messengers where quickly sent to the neighboring towns, and a great feast was prepared in their honor.
You (10/8/2007 3:47:34 AM)
The lord of he village brought out his finest wine and food. The princess ordered beautiful gowns for the occasion for the newly-freed women and suits for the two heroes. Upon Lorr's request, the bookkeepyer loaned the knight several thick volumes on ancient history. Even the peasants joined in the hospitality with livestock and embroidery.

While the feast was prepared, the lord asked that the two knights show his own warriors how to fight better. Jonny did a good job at this, but the lord was rather confused when Lorr kept ending up flat on the ground, tip of a sword pointed at his neck. Sometimes it was even his own sword.

Finally, the feast began. The great tables were filled with all manners of livestock and hunted animals, as well as a grande variety of fruits, vegetables, and breads. Lorr ate until he could eat no more, and his stomach decided it had overloaded a safe capacity and pushed the excess out, first upwards, and then the other way.

The festivities lasted for several days. Jonny and Lorr grew incredbly bord after the first several hours. The women weren't long to follow. Soon the lord and his village were celebrating for the sake of celebration, and the group of guests slipped away unnoticed.

"Well, now where?" Lorr inquired.

"Anywhere," one of the women said. "Anyone we knew before the banshee took us must have died long ago... there is nowhere for us to go now."

"You could come back to my king's homelands, far away in the world of Fantasia. Hephaestus is a just ruler, I hear. Never met him myself, but everyone says he's a great man and recently found a good wife after a journey of his own," Lorr suggested.
Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin [NKOFF] (10/8/2007 12:02:30 PM) GOOD BAD
"Lorr. You know, with all the money we have, we could become our own rulers. We could buy a large tract of land, set up and buy a few villages, and live well. We can do anything we want. We can travel the world. We won't ever have to do anything that we don't want too agian. Isn't there something you've always wanted to do?"

Jonny looked at Lorr quizically, as if that would make his answer better.

"Well. Maybe," was all Lorr could say. "Whats your dream?"

"Well. Its not really mine, its my fathers. To settle down with a beautiful woman, in a very large house. With vineyards. Ontop of a hill, overlooking a town or city or such. And set up my own military academy, so as to train the best swordsman tacticians in all the land. That is my dream, and I think that I'll be able to more then do that."

"That sounds like a very decent dream Jonny." Said one of the woman.
You (10/8/2007 3:43:49 PM)
"That sounds a wonderful life, to settle down and live as a lord, and train young soldiers to combat the evils of this world," Lorr said. "I wish you the greatest of luck."

"Well, what do you plan to do?" inquired Jonny.

"Oh, I don't know." Lorr took out the book he'd carried the whole journey long, Spirites and Ghosts of the Lost Northernlands. He tossed the book around in his hands, then set it down.

"Stories have a beginning and an end. And they last forever. But the middle ceases once it has passed and becomes nothing more than a memory," he said sadly, looking down at the book. He'd read it all, every page.

"So what do you want now?" Jonny asked. "You could settle down too."

"The ending hasn't come for me yet. There is no end for me but death," Lorr said. He let the book fall to the ground and pulled one from his backsack, a newer, fresher volume. "I read a few dozen pages of this book last night. It's called 'Beasts and Demons of the Desert of Bones...'"

*********************
The End
*********************

*********************
"Ghostlands"
By Sir Hephastus and Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin
Era of Dark Orion, 28
*********************


18:59:39 Oct 8th 07 - Mr. Verll:

hm........that was one long story :p


01:51:47 Oct 9th 07 - Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin:

it was tons of fun to write though


06:37:22 Oct 9th 07 - Sir Hephaestus:

And now that I don't have any RPs going on I'm going to get bored till the new era starts :(


11:42:40 Oct 9th 07 - Sir Jonny Bacardi The Last Paladin:

yea. i dead 3 days before arma, yours wa sthe only constant RP, where, every time I logged in, I had a new message, the other 2 are like, once a day, once every 2, its kinda slow.


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