| Darlek VS Borg |
Yes, it is Dalek Vs Borg.
Round One.
The Dalek and The Borg square up to one another as they start to ‘trash talk’.
Dalek: Exterminate Exterminate!
Borg:
We are Borg. We will add your biological and technological
distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us.
Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Dalek: Exterminate Exterminate!
Winner:
In trash talk terms they score big. It’s cold, it’s calculated, it’s
without emotion; it doesn’t sound like they are a somewhat hysterical
housewife from Kent. It’s The Borg.
Round Two.
First, blood as the two go for some metal on leather contact.
The
Borg attempts to stick his nano technology ‘prongs’ into the Dalek but
it just can’t seem to get through The Dalek’s new fangled shield.
The
Dalek however goes for a more simple ‘eye poke’ with his shooter. The
Borg, expecting an energy gun attack is complete unprepared and, ‘Ouch’
there goes the eye. Fortunately, for The Borg, that was the spare eye
and not the flashy red one.
Winner: Eye poking its way to success – The Dalek.
Round Three.
The
style judges are seated either side of the catwalk, high on Bollinger
and a misplaced sense of their own importance as The Borg begins it’s
measured yet deliberate stride.
The Borg is all stylish, tight
leather and exposed wires, displaying both an hone*beep*ture chic, with
a knowing nod to late 80’s fetishism.
It is no iPod, but The Borg would certainly be terrifying as a first date.
Next up is the Dalek, less Cenobite, more ‘posh’ salt grinder.
The
Dalek trundles purposely down the catwalk. Its heavy-duty battle armour
shining magnificently under the hot fashion show lights. An
unmistakable menacing air, tinged with nostalgia but undercut by a feel
of ‘knocked together in a garden shed with balsa wood, tin foil and
double sided sticky tape’.
Winner: After much debate the judges declare it a tie.
Final Round - Round Four
The practical round.
Both contestants stand impassively. The Borg, emotionless whilst the Dalek fumes to itself silently.
The practical test is wheeled in under a dust sheet cover… the cover is raised… and…
It is a major blow for The Borg; the practical test is to unblock a sink.
But
good for The Borg, it’s going to give it a go. It sidles up to the
sink, scans the aluminium drainer down to the plughole; it’s detected
the problem. Searching its group collective in a nano-second – and to
its emotionless horror. The Borg have never assimilated a plumber - due
to the prohibitive call out fees.
Despite being a cybernetically linked super intelligent race, The Borg are squarely buggered in the face of a blocked sink.
The
Borg steps back as the Dalek pushes forward. Out comes the extendable
plunger, a beautiful downward motion into the plughole and suck.
Quick
as a flash, out pops a ball of hair, half a cup of boiled rice that
should have been thrown in the bin, not flushed down the sink, and one
of the judges Timex Digital Watches.
The Winner of round four and of this very exciting 'Versus' is…
you decide!, pesonaly i already know who won,
make your responses roleplay and you have to have a good explanation
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