| LNN - Unfair and Biased |
(ooc: Alright folks, since I don't people to be shotgunned to death, I figured that I'll start up an 'official' Legacy News Network thread. Since it's 2 am (almost) and my brain's not fully functional atm, I'll give more details later. However, I'll determine 'analysts' and 'field reporters' out and we can get some in-game RP out of it as well. So yeah, interested parties, drop a line here.)
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news just in swiffers dropped the soap! now taking bets on which lgc member engages in bum bums first!
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ahh! the septims are everywhere!
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*Guderian walks in* "Any opportunity to analyze a war... I'm there"
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Copy and paste my response to your post in the other news thread....to summarize, I'll be an analyst!
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"Stop reading the tabloids Septim. We don't have cars yet..."
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Ok, I'm going to get the next report up hopefully by Wed. In the meantime, here's what I'm going to need from folks. (And even if you are participating in the VU news, you can still play along here as well, just as the 'competition')
Reporters: Live reporters 'on the scene' at battle sites and other places of interest in Fantasia.
Analysts: People that take the dialogue between myself and the reporters and do 'commentary' about it.
Special Shows: Just like Larry King Live and Hannity and Combs (sp?), I'm going to need people to do their own shows as well. Anyone interested, please drop me a line.
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Oh, the reporters need to tell me which kd they want to cover, I'm only going to have one reporter/kd. Be sure to include that in your IM to me so we can get the dialogue started.
Remember, try to make it as 'professional news media'-sounding as possible
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Knew that much. I need some reporters to sign on first, otherwise I'm stuck with Geraldo. ;-)
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since im right in the middle of a war, i could be a good reporter :)
afraid im not the best RPer tho :(
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That's ok. If you've watched the news, you know the drill. I'll ask questions and you give 'reporter-like' answers.
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This is comming in live! Thousands of Legacy troops are bowing down and converting from thier heretic ways to worship the mighty god OSIRIS
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See Osi, I'd normally offer you a spot on one of our 'headlining' shows, however you need to have a Lgc-leaning bias. We're the news media, we tell subtle lies or half-truth, not total ones. ;-)
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isnt that what lgc does best? (watches Weird sniggering in the background)
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ask me questions then fizban! im ready!
first time ever, im biased towards lgc :(
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*Flash********Flash********Flash******
*The Darkness Tribune*
*Bringing truth and light to the Darkness*
*The Predators have attacked and are violently assaulting the forces of Carnage.*
*This reporter has just learned from numerous and varied sources that this violent assault initially thought to be unwarranted, was in truth the result of many years of patience and thoughtful reflection on the account of the leaders of the Predator people. Being a open minded and excepting group of many ethnic backgrounds, they are now considered the family of Predators.*
*The Predators after this long period have noticed that their kin were being mistreated by not being offered any opportunity for the pursuit of that worthy cause of happiness and its like, worship.*
*After watching their brothers in Carnage undergo a long period of pain and suffering under the heavy yoke of tyrants. The Predators decided with painful resolution to save their kin.*
* There is evidence throughout Fantasia that this persecution of the Predator family is being carried out in a almost fanatical desire to obliterate this normally peaceful group.*
*As strong evidence is found supporting the bias towards the Predator family, the family, because of its caring and nurturing nature, has found itself considering further painful decisions in order to save the world and our people from persecution.*
*Dated the 6th day of the era of Asystole*
*Flash****Flash****Flash***
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*Cough*Peaceful*Cough* Your going too do well in this game
*Meanwhile Phi have once again launched an offensive on FF, unfortunately weight of Numbers is no Match for skill in this game and Mad and Phi are learning this the hard way. As the war rages on MAD continue to sit around and be useless they have so far captured *one* whole undefended legacy outpost and advanced a total of 12 pixels since the era began.*
Thats the 10:00 late news
I'm Goldsie?
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Rofl, Goldsie, you're hired! ;-)
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Your's is better, but Goldsie's is funnier and more biased... Apply for the regular news, not LNN... :P
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Compared to MAD, Phi has made incredible headway. Organizing a large army, they have managed to bring, to the gates of FF, an army that the they claim can crush the puny garrison present. However, they have so far staunchly refused to actually take the city as their leaders have only told them to attack, not capture, the blocker.
On the Legacy front, they have fortified themselves as well as the French in World War II. Creating a giant wall and fortifying it to the point that it is nearly impenetrable, they seem to have forgotten that if the wall randomly ends in the middle of a grass field, their opponents have the opportunity to simply go around it. Of course, looking back to the example of the French, it all turned out well in the end, didn't it?
This is Atreides, reporting from the FF-LGC-DB-PHI-MAD front.
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*Guderian starts to get bored as he has nothing to analyze*
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*The feed starts to play*
Live from Legacy FTW Headquarters, we bring you General Patton.
Good evening folks, tonight we bring you word from the PHI/Lgc front. A massive troop outpouring from the PHI entrenchments are coming for the Lgc Garrison at Ft. Grand. The mighty Legacians are digging in and pulling out their machine guns to mow down these PHI infidels.
Elsewhere, MAD troops have decided that now is the time to try to kick a group when it's down and have decided to move on the FF wall to try and make it look like they've actually done something. Unfortunately, when judging the size of the army, many folks have decided that they should invest in Enzyte and get some enlargement going in more places than their armies.
Now then, let's go to War Analyst Guderian and get his take on the PHI/LGC fight. Guderian, to what would it gain for PHI to try and attack Legacy in an entrenched position?
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*Guderian smiles and looks at the camera* Thank you Patton, In my opinion PHI thinks they MIGHT be able to win a close victory. They realize that the Maginot line (our new name for their half wall), is not as good a defensive position as they thought it was and as such they want to cross the border and fight. However, it is my firm belief that such an attack could be no better than the early assaults made by the Russians in 1941 in response to the German invasion. Before I give up the camera, I would just like to add that I am very pleased that MAD decided it was a good idea to finally move their troops out of that city. I know that it was a tough decision as their are a few scouts that might come and take it, but it is my belief that they did the right thing.
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Well, Guderian let me ask you this. Why did PHI build such a wall that couldn't be thoroughly defended? We know that we can expect better walls from these mighty wall pumpers. Take a look at the nice, complex wall they build on their western front.
Now we know what happens when you bring shoddy craftsmanship out on the battlefield, it'll break for the user and they'll be beaten.
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I think they had a reason to do this Patton. It must be far beyond our intellect as even I can't figure it out, but for all that money, slaves, and stone, their must have been a reason.
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I still want a job on this news network cause VU news is failing.
(Look at my post a little bit above these ones to see my skillz.)
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*Gives Might a dirty look as he is interrupting my analysis* "Please refrain from asking for an interview until we have finished twist... I mean, analyzing the news."
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Well, it's interesting that you bring up money and stone Guderian because coming up next, we'll have a report on the Fantasia market. Will it be a bear market or bull market for all those wannabe alchemists out there? And no, I'm not talking about those guys that are wearing automail.
You're watching LNN, unfair and biased.
(ooc: If anyone has a funny idea for a commercial, submit it to be via IGM and I might post it here.)
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*Might runs up and grabs the tape then turns around and jumps into his mighty *beep*motorcycle and drives off yelling, "Aha now my news station can have this headline news bwahahahaha!"
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Thank you for inviting me to this wonderful opportunity, Patton.
As an experienced archaeologist and alchemist in Fantasia, I have witnessed some bizarre phenomenons. At the foot of Mt. Fantasia, lots of dwarves gather around for the festival of harvesting. Do not underestimate those little dwarves! They are very powerful at cave digging and stone lifting.
A few hard working miners mentioned that they are becoming very rich with this stone business, the market price and demand for stones have been skyrocketing! Each average size of stone is worth as much as a gold bar! I had little chance to chat more before they miners rushed back to work.
I picked up a few stones and inspected them carefully. They are indeed worth its cost with wondrous properties. I have taken great interest in these stones and decided to collect them to analyze for the greater good of knowledge. But there are a lot of mindless alchemists in my way, trying to gather knowledge from these very same stones. But my agents are able to find shortcuts and buy much faster and much more than my adversaries. For my generosity of large purchases, I get unbelievable discounts from the miners! There is no competition in the stone market, those inexperienced alchemists are forever puzzled in mystery, unable to learn anything of the wondrous stones.
Now please allow me to go back to throwing my adversaries off the side of the mountain.
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My pirces are better, fool!
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*Atreides walks back in*
Whew..that trek to the front sure was tiring...how was my report? I'm ready to analyze anything now...but if necessary, I will risk my life and waste an immense amount of time and energy to get another report from this front.
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*Erunion releases the illusion of LNN headquarters, as it "Blows Up"...*
"Good-bye, Septim..."
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Might appears behind Erunion and throws him into the air with lots and lots of Wanabe *beep*mer C4 on his back*
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*Erunion loses the C4...*
"FOOL! I am a mighty mage, and the Duke of Sp@m! Go back to Sp@malot, from whence you came!"
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*Might throws a huge mountain of Wanabe *beep*mber c4s on Erunion.
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*Erunion teleports out of the pile.*
"I hereby order you're immediate imprisonment, for attempted murder and mutiny. You can face trial, or, shall attempt to redeem thyself. I leave the decision to you."
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*Might teleports to the most secret place in the world where only 5 people have been. From there he launches several wanabe *beep*mer nukes at Erunion.*
Its so secret I can't tell you where it is.
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*Erunion traces Might's teleport, temporarily disables the nukes than follows Might, Nukes in tow. He then launches the Nukes at Might.*
"Now begone! This is a News channel! Leave it at once!"
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*Might redirects the nukes to LNN*
"VU News is better!
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"Fool of a boy, you are in the wrong spot, and attacking the wrong people! Go to the wars, and leave these WMD's behind!"
*Erunion freezes the nukes, and then incinerates them, somehow stopping them from exploding...*
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*Atreides walks in with a cameraman*
"BREAKING NEWS! This has just come in! There seems to be a war going on in the building down the street...not a military war, but a war of words! Far more chaotic and much more emotionful than the actual war, this flaming has reached extraordinary levels. In just hours, pages have been typed...err....said...The flames are pouring in by the minutes.
Phi seems to be leading this debate with a mixed set of opinions and an unclear objective. People have, as of yet, not ascertained what Phi is trying to prove and who they are implicating in their accusations. With stories that vary from member to member, many have begun to suspect whether there is any real basis for this discussion. The points made are, to put it nicely, unintelligent.
As the fight grows, I expect that the Political Embassy building will soon overflow and this fighting will continue in other threads. In fact, I think I see a group of these flamers headed towards this very news building!"
*A lit torch flies in threw the window and barely misses Atreides*
"*beep*! Holy *beep*ing *beep*! Get the hell out of here!" yells Atreides as he throws the torch back. Quickly regaining some semblance of calmness, Atreides continues "Well..uhm....I have confirmed that some flamers are in fact headed to this very building. I chased a few away, but I have no doubt they'll come back in greater numbers. As this flaming spreads, I can only hope that our brave firefighters will be able to keep this town from destruction. This was Atreides, with the 10o'clock news. Goodbye, and stay safe by avoiding these MAD (no pun intended;)) flamers."
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"Now for an LNN news special report, we go live now to General Patton...."
Patton turns in his chair to face the camera, "Good evening, in case everyone has missed it, a horde of Mighty Legacy commandos have infiltrated the MAD defenses and are running amok in the enemy's financial district. For this report, I will be having field-reporter Atreides and military analyst Guderian join us. First, we'll go to Atreides, Atreides how are the lines settling after the surprise attack?"
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*Atreides appears on the screen*
"Thank you Patton. I've been tracking these commandos, and it seems they are being followed. I would have expected this group, slowed down by all the heavy equipment they're carrying, to have been caught, but Phi forces are hesitant to confront them without similarly heavy equipment. So far, these commandos have disrupted reinforcement and supply lines, and have managed to cause a full scale retreat of Mad forces. Phi too has been startled by an attack that, in less than a day, completely changed the face of the war. They have been put on the defensive with little chance of catching these speedy devils.
However, it is not all good news. Surrounded by enemies, it would be unwise for the commandos to separate. But, if they all stick together, there is no way for them to secure their rear. The retreating forces of MAD may very wall break through into their own core and trap these brave commandos inside. Propaganda, possibly originating from Phi, that Legacy troops are dedicated drug users has only increased MAD fervor and morale is high as the troops almost fanatically rush to slay the Legecians.
Phi forces, although slow-moving, are close in pursuit of the Legacy commandos. If caught, the results could be fatal for these brave soldiers. But there is still hope! Whatever the difficulties, it is still true that Legacy forces have broken into the MAD/PHI core area and are rampaging through unhindered. Can Phi and Mad manage to turn this around? Will the brave commandos ever be able to return home as heroes? These are just a few of the questions our military analyst will attempt to answer!"
*View switches over to the desk where the military analyst should be appearing....any time now........*
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*Guderian appears on the screen still trying to get more copies of his book sold* "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to LNN's special broadcast of 'The PHI, MAD, LGC, DB, and FF war', I am military analyst Guderian. So Patton, what are we to analyze this evening?"
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