Forums / Roleplaying / Land Of Darkness

Have you ever played a game caled Final Fantasy 12?

Its just that Dalmasca is the name of a major kingdom in Final Fantasy 12 its pretty much the main place in the game and Vaine is the antagonist of the game.

Anyways its pretty good. A bit to much like the Shadows recently made by Ernie.

It isnt like mine that much except the assassin part ._.   mine was kinda like : Unknown person hired Ernie, who has an friend named Septim, who kills high ranking people in two kingdoms to collapse them and bring about a new kingdom X_x his involves actually fighting for one side -.-  good work so far.  And maybe instead of having dialogue like:

Hello  Justin said.  you could try 

Justin then looked at the man.  Hello there.  The man saw Justin.  Hello.

I find that not doing the whole "He said, and then Justin said." thing makes it smoother, not like a book you buy from a store which is probably like that.  But I think Septim does it the way you are doing it....(of course its 12:30 am and i forget why im up still)

u must live in the eastern united states then cuz its only 9:30 pm here. Ok wll ill post the second chapter soon. thats a long one.

Ok here we go again and brutii u better be reading this stuff cuz its go u in it.

Chapter 2-into the belly of the beast

He reaches into the dark hole and starts to pull something heavy out of it. Imerging from the blackness comes a dark chest. He dropped the chest on whats left of the floor with a loud thud. Slowly cracking the chest open remember why he sealed it in the hole in the first place. Inside laid black robes, capes and a black hoods. Swords made of blacken steel. Daggers made in the pits of hell itself. Throwing knives so sharp they could pierce the thickest of any armour. A longbow made by the elves in the Dark Forest with arrows as black as their hearts. He slowly puts on his equipment; belt filled with daggers, left arm covered in throwing knives. Sword strapped to his left leg and arrows firmly sitting in the pouch on his back. He slung the bow over his shoulder adn walked towards the door taking one last look at his home before he left. He traveled 3 days without sleep covering 60 sqaure miles finally reaching the palace of Dalmasca. He had to wait for night so he wouldnt be spotted so he set up camp 100 feet away from the walls. After 15 minutes he fell asleep only to be woken up by some kicking  at his side.

Get up old man, u shouldnt be sleeping during the day. Immedietly Justin's reactions kicked in and he had a dagger at the mans throat within a snap of his finger.

Well i see retirement hasnt harmed your reaction time none.

 BRUTII!!! What are u doing here?

If you dont mind Jusitn could u lower the dagger.

Oh, sorry, so answer the question, what are u doing here?

King sent me a letter, what about you?

Im guessing you have the same letter as me Brutii, im here to talk to the king. So have u thought of any ideas on how to get to the kings chamber?

I though thats why u were here Justin. Your always the one to come up with the stupid ideas.

Behind them Justin heard the noise of a cart.

I have an idea now Brutii.

He ran quickly towards the noise with Brutii on his heels. When they go to the top of the hill Justin pointed towards the cart and the two men sitting on it. Brutii nodded knowing what Justins plan was. Out of the bushes Justin leaps in the air grabing the passanger and pulling him off the cart hitting him in the head knocking him out. Brutii at the same time grabs the driver and does the same. They took the merchants clothes and put them over their equipment hiding it from the guards. They got past the guards at the gate and headed towards the Green Dragon Inn. They got a room and sat on the floor discussing on how to get to the chamber.

So Justin, you still do have all your skills right?

Why do i not like the sound of this?

Ok see where the guard walkways has a long strip missing from the tower that keeps the walkway from completing?

Ya??

Well thats were the garbage goes down. And i believe that those walls are close enough for you to jump all the way up and lower the rope i brought down to me.

Luck wasnt on their side, it started to rain and thunder was roaring in the distance. They had to sneek past all the guards to get to the walls. But it didnt matter, they were ghosts, no one spotted them. When they go to the wall, Justin slung the rope around his neck and under his arm. He started his ascent, slipping from the wet wall almost. When he reached the edge, he hung there for a second, exhausted from the trip. As he pulled himself up adn over, he met a gaurd face-to-face. The guard starts to yell ALA.... but it was to late, Justin grabbed a dagger and jabbed it from under his jaw and up connecting the lower jaw to the upper. Then he grabbed another dagger and sliced his throat killing him instantly. He wrapped the rope around his waist and threw the other end over the edge hitting Brutii in the head. Brutii started his ascent adn when he got up to the edge he climbed over and took one step and tripped on the dead guard.

Sorry Brutii, he met me face-to-face there was no other choice. And by the way, next time u climb the walls.

*chuckles* its ok Justin, and its a deal. Lets get going before we get spotted.

Swiftly and quitely the duo made their way up the spiral stair case. When they reached the door that led into the kings chamber. Justin creeked it open seeing the king sitting at his desk and finally opening the door all way.

My lord, its Justin, im here along with Brutii.

With no answer Justin ran over to the king and but his hand on his shoulder noticing his hand was wet he looked at it and it was drenched in blood. then he noticed the dagger in the kings neck and then came a strange familiar voice from the darkness.

[end of chapter 2, ill try and get 3 wrote tonight]

oh i just pressed the enter key. Oh and just so everyone knows, when i right this for now on when there is a dialog between 2 ppl a different line is somone else talking.

thanx septim, ill make sure when i type for now on, that im not in such a hurry

im on Mant, im in angels

Thanx guys, i g2g i want to right chp. 3

[oops sry...I made my title kind of similar to yours ._. but at least the meaning is different.....wasnt thinking about it since I came up with the title right after I finished "The Shadows"]

....i copy and paste my stories from here to Septim because you dont get RP points from the RP forums XD

sure anytime

Chp. 5-Captain of the Guards

The old man handed the letter to the captain himself. He had a puzzled look on his face sinze it had been years since he had gotten a letter from anyone.

Mustang,

Its been years old friend since we have stood on the field of battle, and now i need your help. We have been framed for the Kings murder by Vaine. He wants everyone to turn on us so it is easier to destroy us. I need yor help. We want to unite against Estovokia before Vaines slaughtering crusades whipe the entire world out. Pleas meet me outside the castle, im 100 feet from the walls to the north.
Your friend,
Justin

Sergent!!!

Yes my lord?

Watch my post for a while, i need to attend to something.

The captain saddled a horse and road off to were Justin was located.

Mustang, thank god you've come.

You have 5 minutes Justin, dont waist my time.

Mustang we have to unite against Vaine before it's to late.

Why should i risk my soldiers for u? You murdered our friend and king.

Mustang to you honestly believe im capable of killing a friend? You have to believe that we are innocent.

Mustang saw the innocance in his eyes.

How would we go about this?

You have the most honour then all of Dalmasca. You can convince them. I know your soldiers will always help you. We only need a distraction so we can get into Vaines room and finish this.

Give me an hour to assemble them. With no king they turn to me for leadership.

Mustang hurried to town sqaure gathering all the soldiers.

Soldiers of Dalmasca, I have discovered who murdered Trendkill. It was Vaine of Estovokia. We must band together and bring vengence to our people. IF we fight the road ahead will be difficult. Some of us may die, but i would rather fight along side you; my brothers, then an army of a thousands. Will you fight for me???

A roar came from the crowd of soldiers that could be herd for miles. Shields clahed against armour making it even louder.

Well brutii, looks like Mustang did it.

Yep, it would seem that way.

So Sabbath, are you ready for the finally battle.

Abosolutely.

Mustang road quickly to Justin.

Soldiers are getting heavy armourm swords, spears and horses. Oh and the great gates are opening.

The great gates???

Catapults Brutii. Only the Captain of the Guards can summon those and open the gates and looky here, im the Captain of the Guards. You said we need a distraction, and they are going to do just that.

We?

Yes Justin we. Im coming to.

Mustang if your going to come lose that armour adn those white clothes. Let me see....Sabbath do you have any extra robes and armour in that pack of yours.

I always bring a spare.

Mustang got dressed in the black robes and armour supplied by Sabbatj having to adjust it a lot since he was much smaller then Sabbath.

Ok let me go give the soldiers their final orders.

No need, here they come.

Coming down the path, soldiers dressed in the shinyest silver armour, square shields in left handsm swords sheathed to their left legs and spears 10 feet long in their left hands. 10 catapults brung up the rear. They were almost as tall as the walls of the castle themselves.

Ridding on a horse came the Sergent as fast has his horse could go.

Sir! All soldiers are ready for war.

Sergent when you get there, let the catapults rain hell. No soldiers attack until those walls crumble to the ground!

Yes sire, but arent you coming with us?

No, Justin, Brutti, Sabbath and I are going to sneek into the castle and finish the slaughters once and for all.

Yes my lord.. best of luck, old friend.

And to you as well.

Mustang we have to go, lets hurry.

Good bye soldiers of Dalmasca, we will meet again, in this life or the next.

Mustang..

[End of chapter 5, chp.6 coming soon]

so how do you guys like it so far?

pissed mmy friend off from school cuz i ended it with a name. She was begging me to get the next chp. wrote lol

ya see i wrote this to my friend femke and she said she loved it and i copied and pasted it to here not realizing any of that, next time ill take more time to look at it thanx spud.

better than Fantasia Critisim lol