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| Tales Tavern | ||||
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Tales Tavern A tavern where you drink stuff at tables with a lady playing a guitar in the backround...what else do you want? | ||||
if you want to be a bartender just ask... | ||||
will only accept 4 though and one manager, im the owner, manager is sort of like a 2nd in command. | ||||
I want to be a Barkeeper. | ||||
*knocks spud out with a baseball bat* I'm the only bartender here!! | ||||
im the manager!!! | ||||
Spud, Deadguy you can both be a bartender, most of the wine and beer is in the cellar with the giant mutated rats, im sure you can handle them with these rusty daggers that are so dull they couldn't cut warm butter. Did i describe them well enough, hope so. Salareas, you can be the manager, although if you want to hire people just come to my office in that room over there. The one with JANITOR on the door. Signs can uhhhhh be misleading... | ||||
okay my first command as manager is.... | ||||
"Suspence, I love it, but I want to miss it" *Tiber Septim walks away into the Jan-I mean the owner's office, yeah the owner's office... | ||||
*Tiber walks out and wonders how long it usually takes Salaracen to say something. He then dismisses that thought and walks over to the bar counter and sits down. "One ale for the owner, and you guys can keep fighting if you would like, might bring in the customers." | ||||
"you guys take longer than those guys in the pub..." | ||||
*Murphy and the rest of the Spamming legions demolish almost the entire
pub and kick the customers in the nuts (which is just 'Tiber Septim').
With puppy eyes is Tiber looking at Murphy and asking ...* | ||||
*Ragnarr enters the tavern kicking the door open and rushing in.* "Seven hells, I have had enough of you bandits!" *Fights the spamming outlaws, but soon the fight leaves the tavern. After some time, Ragnarr enters, covered in wounds.* "Give me an ale. I fought those brigands, but they were too many. They ran away in the end." | ||||
"Jerks, they destroyed my outhouse, how are my patrons supposed to go pee now, oh well, hey bartenders, pour Ragnarr a-" *See's that bartenders are sleeping on the floor." "Ill get it for you" *Tiber walks over to the counter and pours two ales and hands one to Ragnarr. "Cheers" | ||||
*After pouring Ragnarr's ale he walks over to the Fireplace and hangs his Tavern License on the mantle, he then proceeds to write a notice for the spammers legion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Notice
This is a Tavern, not a pub, so I need a license to start a Tavern like this, not a pub. Signed, Tiber Septim Owner ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Tiber then hangs it on the wall "Hehehe, im such a smart as" | ||||
"Those two bartenders and that manager is fired...ill be all six positions from now on...oh and a new position opened up." Bouncer "Ragnarr, want the job? I need protection against the Spammers legion and I really don't feel like getting my new bartending aprin all bloody." | ||||
*Murphy and the rest of the Spamming legions demolish almost the entire
TAVERN and kick the customers in the nuts (which is just 'Ragnarr').
With puppy eyes is Tiber looking at Murphy and asking ...* | ||||
"Hey, You destroyed my kid's playhouse, which looks exactly like me Tavern. And I hung my License on the mantlepiece so what more do you want. Oh yeah, YOU DESTROYED MY KID'S PLAYHOUSE, WHICH DIDN'T HAVE THE LICENSE!" | ||||
*Tiber Septim falls on the floor and starts having what looks like a mild seizure. He then transforms into something else. Not a demon yet not an angel. He has foot long claws, wings as dark as midnight, and bright red eyes. "Now I shal..." | ||||
"Fix my broken outhouse, repair my kid's playhouse, and then go back to bartending. " | ||||
*Runs after those spamming brigands outside of the tavern with sword out of sheath. After an hour Ragnarr comes back, coughing and spitting blood* *Drinks his ale and pays the bill, then leaves the tavern* | ||||
"Wow, hey this ones on the house." | ||||
*catches on fire | ||||
*While Salaracen drinks his scrotch, he realises that horrible tiber betrayed him again, and is thinking about joining 'The spammer legion!'* | ||||
*Tiber pours a scotch for Salaracen and hands it to him. "I was just wondering how I uhhhh...ruined your dream..." | ||||
"Oh, your salareas Maldovich Vineraven, your hired again if you promise to stay active." | ||||
*Tiber exits and a little while later he enters with a smile on his face, he pours himself an ale and takes his post behind the bar. | ||||
"Oi, drunken manager, I'm running a spammers legion rebellion outta here, do you know how to defend yourself? | ||||
*Tiber walks up to the door and puts up a for rent sign | ||||
*noticing how Tiber Septim gets ignored* | ||||
*Notices Murphy and agrees "Lol, this place stinks, Hopefuly this thread will shut down lol. | ||||
*crosses his fingers* | ||||
*Tiber crosses his fingers as well | ||||
*Pelagius walks into his Grandfather's tavern and pours himself a drink. "This place still seems to have some use." *Pelagius chugs the whole beer down, fills his glass up, and chugs it again. "Hey, who wants to jump in the beer poo-" *Pelagius looks around and sees nobody is there, and there is no beer pool. "I miss Ye Olde Taverne." *Pelagius continues drinking | ||||
*Pelagius writes a note and ties a ribbon around one of his chests of gold "Im going back" *Pelagius picks up the chest and leaves | ||||
WARNING this tavern is currently destroyed due to an insurance scam. please do not enter, if entry is unavoidable enter at your own risk. | ||||
*A peasant walks in with an armfull of fliers and hangs one up on the charred remains of a wall, it says: Ye Olde Taverne Come to Ye Olde Taverne to drink and have fun. | ||||
*Sir Gaius Septim walks into the charred remains of Tales Tavern "Hmmmm, this is a major fixer-upper!" *Septim pulls out a cell phone and calls in some more clones, a few hours later a new Tales Tavern is standing. Septim dismisses the clones and hangs a sign on the door: Tales Tavern and Restaurant This establishment is re-opened due to the closure of Septim's exotic eats. I will be serving food and alcohol, although it is not "exotic" due to a court order by Judge Scientist, I will be serving steak, chicken, potatoes, stew, ribs, and hamburgers. I hope all patrons of Septim's exotic eats will come to enjoy my new place. Signed, Gaius Cephorus Septim
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*Septim hangs VUPAVUPAS banners all over the tavern | ||||
Big mac chesse | ||||
*Septim sets a plate of Mac cheese down in front of Jay "Anything else?" | ||||
*A Royal guard walks in and writes a note and hangs it on the wall. it reads: "A tavern within kingdom grounds must pay tax!!! if you do not pay at least 20 gold pieces The kingdom will demolish your tavern! you have four weeks!* | ||||
*Septim looks at the paper, grabs his sword, and walks out the door. He comes back a few days later with blood all over him and sits down on a barstool. "They won't be needing taxes now, hehehe" | ||||
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I rebuilt it, and I hope nobody comes here, it was only until the exotic restaraunt was opened... | ||||
Tiber!?! *laughs so hard he faints* | ||||
*Might slaps Plato* | ||||
*gary slaps Might 12 times* | ||||
*Septim appears. "Who would ever come here...?" | ||||
YAY! SEPTIMS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||||
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