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Forums / The hangaround / Ask Effie Effie answers

Ask Effie Effie answers
22:17:49 Apr 9th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

As Efrandor woke up after a five year bender he could see that the world had changed, and not necessarily for the better.


Efrandor walked the streets and saw the confusion in the people he met. As if the past five years had erased all knowledge from them.

- My God! Something must be done, Efrandor honourably thought.

So he started a forum thread, that would allow the people from across the different worlds to come together with one single goal; to learn anew that which had been lost or to learn something they had never known before, or something they were eager to learn or couldn't care less whether they knew it or not. Or something they wish they had never even heard about but still got it shoved down their throat..
Point is, this is the place to ask any and all questions when you find that Google don't tell you what you want to hear.

Ask any and all questions and you shall be answered by the way of the old drunk.


22:40:14 Apr 9th 14 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):

why wont swifty move out?


22:42:05 Apr 9th 14 - Legend (I am Legend):

When will Swifty find a boy- girlfriend?


22:44:54 Apr 9th 14 - Mr. Bad Bell Mate:

who the fuck is effie?


22:45:32 Apr 9th 14 - Ms. Bobblehead Bran:

why does the janitor keep trying to chat me up?


23:29:42 Apr 9th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Stirlin: Because you are letting him stay for free at your place. Stop cleaning up after him.

Have him pay half the bills, cook half the food, clean the toilet and vacuum the floor and he'll be out of your castle in no time.

Legend: Once Swifty starts shaving. That's when boy/girlfriends come, it's like a mating call.

Bad Bell Mate: Historians disagree on this matter. Some of them say it's a slim, semi tall, browned hair girl with a big smile.  Which is the truth. Other historians claim it to be a character in an online game. Which is complete and utter nonsense, of course.
Still others, and this is the theory most people follow and from which a religion has started, claim Effie to be the creation of a persons own imagination. So as to have something beautiful in the world to make up for all the darkness. Someone to look forward to see when one wakes up in the morning, someone to strive to be like. These historians refer to this theory as "The Tyler Durden theory".
So clearly, that's pretty awesome, who the what is bad bell mate, mate?

Ms. Bobblehead Bran: Janitors are, by no fault of their own, often at the bottom of the food chain. So just like Canadians, Norwegians, American hill billys and New Zeelanders supposedly have sexual intercourse with sheep, janitors mostly get lucky with bobbleheads.
This janitor you mention I will assume is quite handsome since most janitors only get jiggy with male bobbleheads and don't even bother going after the female ones. Or possibly he has gathered a lot of umbilical fluff and has a higer rating amongst his co-worker, making him a leader of sorts, almost on the same level as a trashman. Such characteristics will give any man the courage to try and get it on with a female. Unless this janitor you mention is a woman, then it's a whole different story.


01:04:02 Apr 10th 14 - Wilberforce (Mr. Roxburys Sex Slave):

Do you still adventure with The Belgian Pedo?


03:58:17 Apr 10th 14 - Venomz (High Warlord Venomz):

How many man did you sleep with?

Need to know if you cheated on me with stormcrow back in the day.


04:19:01 Apr 10th 14 - Stormy (Lord Stormcrowe):

effie!!!!

<screams like a schoolgirl and swoons>


Elvis Champagne busting out





07:23:26 Apr 10th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Wilberforce: Woops, you accidentally misspelled it; Belgian Speedo. That's ok, happens to the best.

I do! Although we've slowed down a bit, we mostly crash kids parties now. For the jumping castles and the funny balloons. We got caught once but sang ourselves out of trouble.

"Bouncy, bouncy,
Ooooh, such a good time.
Bouncy, bouncy,
Shoes all in a line.
Bouncy, bouncy,
White socks falling down.
Bouncy, bouncy."

Venomz: A girl never reveales a number, wether it be weight, age or number of men she's been holding penises with. Neither does a onkine game character reveal such trivia. And a imagination of your own mind knoes better then to put you in a bad mood with such numbers.

However, without mentioning any numbers; yes. Me and Stormy definitely had sexxy time. Several times, uaually next door when you were sleeping. Or even on the floor next to your bed. Remember that one time you woke up and slipped on a "white banana peel"?

Stormie: Not so much a question as a statement. But I will answer it anyway. Yes, yes it's me! :) Great to see that old pic of us again. Can't believe we bought a $1000 bottle just to put mentos in it. Still, great effect!


08:26:21 Apr 10th 14 - TheBornLoser (Mr. The Dung Beetle):

Does Carnage / Fate > Legacy > Dark Blood?


10:52:50 Apr 10th 14 - Legend (I am The Forgotten Halfling):

Are you a girl?


12:11:16 Apr 10th 14 - Mr. Von Darkmoor:

Effie is just effie there is only one never to be repeated :-D

Its been a long time buddy :-)


13:01:00 Apr 10th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Legend: Please see response to Bad Bell Mate as I'm on a "letters per day"-limit and can't afford to spend to many words rewriting already answered questions. I'll add this though: I'm hawt. Incredibly so. Just had a haircut.


TheBornLoser: Where I'm from those symbols are sacriligous and I'm afraid I can't comment on it without being burnt as a witch. I'll add this though as a sort of stand alone statement; ~Carnage~
Hope that helps, now go repent!

Darkmoor: Great to see you buddy, long time indeed! :)


13:42:39 Apr 10th 14 - SWIFTRY (Mr. Bad Bell Mate):

When will Stirlin start being the man of the household and start providing for his family? He can't let KT be the breadwinner and wear the trousers forever. Besides, they're too small for her.


13:50:27 Apr 10th 14 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):

in this modern age it is acceptable for the woman to earn more than the man, unfortunately in other cases, like still living with parents at the ripe old age of 30 is still looked down upon. 


13:54:00 Apr 10th 14 - SWIFTRY (Mr. Bad Bell Mate):

why is the xbox such an inferior console to the PS4? why would anybody above the age of 15 wish to buy, let alone play mech-cod, which is a terrible game and has awful graphics?


23:31:43 Apr 10th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Swiftry: If Stirlin is a woman she will become a man once she finds a magic lamp and uses one of her three wishes to become one. A man that is.

Also, she can undergo a sex change, she then will become a man after said sex change. Once a man she... he, can start providing for the family. Until then, if she looks good, she should definitely be wearing too small trousers.

Xbox, PS4 question; because of the x's, always because of the x's. That also answers a lot of other questions as well, such as: "Why do I always have so little money left after salary?", "How did I get 5 STD's?", " Why do I feel less of a man nowadays?" to mention a few.

As for mech-cod: Because of a rough childhood. It's a hard knock life.


01:40:38 Apr 11th 14 - Globey (Sir Erush Isethendock):

How do I become rich and successful?


02:50:31 Apr 11th 14 - Ms. Bobblehead Bran:

how do i, as a woman, suck all the wealth and success out of a man?


09:00:34 Apr 11th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Globey: There is no need to actually become rich and powerful to live with that lifestyle. I'm just assuming it's the lifestyle that comes with riches and success you want.

Add a "Von" to your name and make up a family history filled with powerstruggle in medieval Europe, incest(for beliveability) and filled treasure halls.
It's a well known fact that rich people get things for free, so once people belive you are rich they will provide you with whatever you want. When you get whatever you want you're succesfull.

To summon it all up: Von + Incest and other made up stories = free things = success.

Now go succeed!

Ms. Bobblehead Bran: Get with Globey while he's still poor, insecure and take whoever comes his way. Then when he's "rich and successfull" you sue him for not giving you what a man with his standards should give and you'll live happily ever after with the money from the courtbattle.
Also, try blowjobs.


12:34:44 Apr 11th 14 - TheBornLoser (Mr. The Dung Beetle):

Is it easier for a woman to be addicted to a man who is:

i) extremely good-looking,
ii) highly intelligent,
iii) well-educated,
iv) ambitious and has good prospects in life,
v) sporty and athletic,
vi) articulate, suave and sophisticated (with just the right amount of SWAG),
vii) leads a James Bond lifestyle,
viii) has multiple beautiful women of all ages, races and hair-colour pursuing him,
ix) is well-endowed, sexually proficient and has the ability to give any legally-aged human female multiple orgasms with ease, and
x) is VU's most dominant player and leader of all time...

(like, say.... Wilberforce)?


12:53:29 Apr 11th 14 - Princess Aisha:

What is the squire root of 69?


13:41:45 Apr 11th 14 - SWIFTRY (Mr. Bad Bell Mate):

why hasnt aisha deleted her account yet?


13:45:26 Apr 11th 14 - Legend (I am Legend):

When will Swiffer come back and lead LGC again?


17:03:05 Apr 11th 14 - Globey (Sir Erush Isethendock):

Will there be a Strike the Blood season 2?


00:02:41 Apr 12th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

TheBornLoser: An addiction is a physical craving, obsession of the mind and a spiritual malady. Although the characteristics and assets mentioned by you in your post might contribute to a woman falling for someone that same woman might just as easily get addicted to an ugly jerk.

You don't see an alcoholic turn down a drink because it's cheap. It's not the main goal of the "chase".

Princess Aisha: A squire was never allowed to partake with the knights and fair ladies doing the good ole 69. They had to make sure the shields were shining for the ongoing tournament.

"Unfair", most people say.
"What about the shields?" The opposition usually counter with, "someone has to look after them."
" A true, good and valid point", most people reply. Which is why, to thia day, a squires chance to root during a 69 is still 0.

Swiftry: She, like Bruce Springsteen, is waiting for a sunny day. Until such a day, the mpst logical thing to do is to sit by the computer.

Legend: May 15th. My magic 8-ball don't specify which year.

Globey: You can easily make a second season yourself with a hammer and a knife. That way you don't have to wait for Gakuto Mikumo to write some more.


00:25:38 Apr 12th 14 - Mr. Aussie:

A Date with Effie

A Date with Effie


16:15:05 Apr 12th 14 - Globey (Mr. Otto Vandar):

How do I make love to you for being such a paragon of intelligence? 


20:07:02 Apr 12th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Globey: In the same way as with any other human being. I got arms, legs and holes in the same places as any other normally built person. The practicality of it doesn't change with the level of intelligence it's still the "good ole in out, in out".

 However, wether you are allowed to have sex with me or not is another question entirely. The answer to that question is "no", and on weekends "if the price is right".
Be adviced Globey, this is not a rejection. Grown men and women don't get rejected, they get told "no", babies get rejected. You go find another hot piece of pie that you can make love to. Or come back with jewels.


17:49:01 Apr 14th 14 - Venomz (High Warlord Venomz):

Needless to say.. the Effie experience was awesome. I never crygasmd so hard


23:33:37 Apr 14th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Venomz post is clearly not a question but what he says is true and might need some explaining for some. I will deliver that explanation: Length and girth.


12:29:30 Apr 15th 14 - Princess Aisha:

How much wood would a woodchunk chunk if a woodchunk could chunk wood?


00:08:09 Apr 16th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Princess Aisha: Your philosophical wisdom is known throughout the worlds. This philosophical question makes you no less wiser or as respected as before. On the contrary! That you would ponder these age old questions still in hopes for an answer to them shows true open mindedness, something wise and respected members of the society indeed has! No wonder you are among them.
However! This is not only philosophical, as you shall find out.


Almost 30 years ago a fish and wildlife technician from New York decided to find the answer to this pondering question and he calculated the volume of dirt in a typical 25-30 foot long woodchuck burrow and thereafter determined that if the woodchuck had moved an equivalent volume of wood it could move about 700 pounds on a good day. With the wind in it´s back, of course.

A woodchuck who chucks wood could never chuck Chuck Norris though, of course.


16:14:45 Apr 16th 14 - Mr. Perturbed:

How much wood would Chuck Norris chunk when Chuck Norris has wood?


21:21:37 Apr 17th 14 - The Sorcerer (Mr. Beorn):

How much Chuck Norris would a woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck was Chuck Norris, chucking a woodchuck?


22:16:36 Apr 17th 14 - Princess Aisha:

Can you freeze dried fruit?


00:59:08 Apr 18th 14 - Globey (Mr. Otto Vandar):

If an Effie falls in the forest, and nobody's around to hear, does it still make a sound?


23:39:41 Apr 19th 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

Perturbed: The interesting question here isn't how much wood Chuck Norris would or would not chuck but whether or not he has wood. Which he has, every morning, just like most guys. Chuck Norris' anatomy and physicality is, albeit several times better, like our lesser mens anatomy and physicality.


The Sorcerer: What you are talking about is a perpetual machine, meaning he would Chuck nothing of Chuck, himself, and all of Chuck, himself, at all times, never and always.

Princess Aisha: With a badge and a lout enough voice you can make dried fruit freeze. You still need to read them their rights though and they are innocent until proven otherwise.

Globey: There was a study made on the subject where scientists all over the world got together to find out if Effie falling makes a sound if nobody's there. This was during a time when I was doing a lot of falling down as a consequence of too much liquour and poor footing choices.
It's therefor wildly believed that, since no one could be there to see it, Effie simply drank all the alcohol from the buffé and then went to find the party that hia friend Mielo attended. This theory would explain why Effie, me, disappeared for five years. But still leaves us clueless to the age old question: "does Effie fall loudly?"
A question we might never answer.


00:09:59 Apr 21st 14 - Mr. Branca:

effie <3

i remember you from fate.


15:21:27 Apr 21st 14 - Penguin (Clown Thebornloser):

fake n g*y


15:32:02 Apr 21st 14 - TheBornLoser (Mr. The Dung Beetle):

Between a born loser and a Penguin, which one would a Great White Shark choose to eat first?


16:49:15 Apr 21st 14 - Globey (Mr. Otto Vandar):

If you were backed against a toilet in a public washroom stall by a slavic man, whose  cheeks were flushed, had a patchy beard, and smelt faintly of cheap champagne... what would you do?


20:23:10 Apr 21st 14 - HorusPanic (Mr. Polymer):

effie,

what is your favorite kingdom all time?
what was the most powerful kd, alltime?


00:20:56 Apr 22nd 14 - Penguin (Clown Thebornloser):

when was the last time you did something for the first time?


00:22:25 Apr 22nd 14 - Princess Aisha:

Is zebra white animal with black stripes or a black animal with white stripes?
:


07:45:14 Apr 22nd 14 - Prince Erythnul:

depends ... 

i'm of dark complexion so i think its black with white stripes :-)


10:45:01 Apr 22nd 14 - Mr. Efrandor:

The Born Loser: Sharks are helpfull animals, they've just been getting bad press. All they want to do is make the world a better place, in that stance the great white shark would go for the born loser as to rid the world of a lesser evil. However (!), sharks also love their meat and few things taste as well as a foulmouthed penguin. Therefor it is safe to say that the great white shark would eat them both with some seagrass salad on the side for some extra nourishment and taste.


Globey: I had such an incident of which you are describing a few years ago while in a remote village in Poland. As I was in great need of a toilet I thanked the manfor showing me the bathroom and then sat down and had a poo-session. I invited the slavic man to join me in the stall next to me as he seemed to be keeping something in, if you know what I mean. He did and we had a great time being toilet neighbours. I try and go back once every two years for sentimental reasons.

Horus Panic: There is one answer to both your questions, sir. The Kingdom of Sweden. Simple as that. Moldavia follows on a close second place and Lichtenstein gets an honorable placard.

Penguin: Just about an hour ago I payed to get a ticket to a masquerade. Never done that. But everything is ok in the quest for sex, as long as it isn't something youe mother wouldn't have done.

Princess Aisha: That's really racist. There are white zebras and black zebras. White zebras have black stripes while black zebras have white stripes, that's how you tell them apart.


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