Welcome friends, Brannigans and anything inbetween. This is the FM 2012 VU thread. I'm not quite sure what the purpose of it is, besides to make fun of Brannigans "Dumbdumb" Law, but we're apparantly playing FM 2012 on the side.
Who is we, you ask? It's none other than the illustrious:
"Stirling work", it's Daniel Stirling. My best buddy on the whole internet, it's Joshua Reed. "Del Boy" Osiris and his limitless supply of gothic inspired make up. and finally "Ballroom dancer boy", myself, SWIFTY BIGCOCK.
Oh, and some cunt called Coxy is also playing.
The leagues? Some shit, didn't listen. The team? Burgos CF. The time? Now.
I've dipped into the market and bought wonder striker Pablo Couñago on a free transfer. He was apparantly very excited at the prospect of linking up with such an esteemed, talented manager in myself.
Following the signing of the relatively unknown Manager, for Burgos (an esteemed club that has won glory at Spanish 2nd Tier on two occasions, 1976 and 1990, but was founded [refounded?] in 1994), the crowd have not known what to expect. Ever the faithful Burgos fans, over 8000 filled the 12,200 stadium for their first official friendly of the season, against a strong Athletic Bilbao side. Unfortunately, the mighty Burgos lost 3-0. The noble Burgos team soon dusted themselves off and they needed to! The next game was against a much better Real Betis. A new signing Quinton Fortune, conceded a penalty within minutes of the game. Betis missed, but it was perhaps a wakeup call for Fortune.... Or perhaps not, he was taken off injured later on. In a side, where the underdog was ontop for the majority, a lucky counter attack gave the Betis the lead. The mighty Burgos held on to a minor 1-0 loss against a team much higher ranked than themselves.
All in all, Burgos had a great pre-season, although a little long, it had a large learning curve. Lesson learnt, Fortune is crap.
With only one real disappointing result, the predicted 11th spot team had excellent results inspired a grand total of 1700 season tickets to be bought.
NOTE: PABLO COUNAGO WAS MY FUCKING FIND AND ANY OF YOU FUCKERS WHO STEAL HIM ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING ME VERY ANGRY
THE HIRING
The assembled press and media huddle around the a small circular table in a local McDonalds restaurant. This is an invitation-only event. There is a sense of awe and wonder as to why they've been summoned and by whom. The lights are out, there is no noise, bar the soft "zhmmmmmmmm" in the background and the shuffle of feet as Brannigans Law scurries back and forth serving out McDonald's finest.
Just shy of 10pm the porch doors crash upon.
SWIFTY COCKMONGREL walks in arms aloft, like a 21st century Jesus. Clad in the finest ballroom refinery Oxford can buy, this English connoisseur saunters in.
"Big Macs for everybody, the bill is on me"
The journalists cheer and a dynasty is born.
THE PRE SEASON
As you can see, comfortable pre-season. Knocked in goals for fun, played beautifully and kept clean sheets. Unlike Brannigans Law. Who is a bed shitter.
THE TACTICS
I've adopted to ditch my wingers and go for the "wingless wonders" formation, a'la ENGLAND WORLD CUP WINNERS 1966. A slight miscalculation in my plan has left me with all my wingers refusing to leave the club. So they will rot on the side while I romp to victory.
disregard everything that has been posted above, they are all sucky players, they kept addison ffs! onto serious buisness, unlike the other fools i was smart, i used 2 tactics, home and away, as we all know the same tactic for a long period of time doesnt work. Also as i have no conscience i decided we needed better players, not old has beens like quinton failtune, but real talent, like valle and scorza.
As you can see im far exceeding my fellow fmers, and im only in january despite me dominating the scoring chart, im not in the top 3 top scorers, this shows how good my team is at working together, im scoring from all positions.
Heres my team of superstars, giants of the league, immortals among peasants.
Champione Champione ole ole ole!!!! As you have gathered me, the master tactician of fm has destroyed the league with my far superior team and formations, you can all bask in my glory. Heres the league. You may have noticed that in my previous post my defense was very sloppy unlike my attack who, tbh was the best in the whole world, EVER. changes had to be made, ofc it wasnt my brilliant tactics, im never wrong, it was my players, so replacements come forth.
My no nonsense center back Hassoun Camara My Midfield General Juan Jose Bezares.
These 2 guys beefed up my defense and we dominated for the rest of the season
Now onto the roller coaster ride that is the play offs. it started terribly, with my superman Scorza getting injured to the first two game, resulting in me having to start with my young Croatian Pavlovic
a record crowd of 13k loyal fans packed the stadium, screaming my name and flashing their tiddays. Another amazing victory for Stirlins Galaticos, who the hell needs Scoza when you have Valle and Sodinha eh?
onto the second leg away at the Nuevo Carlos Tartiere. 28k supporters turned out for this game, making it the biggest crowd ive played at this season.
Despite the game being alot closer than the home leg, a typical sodinha flash of flair shows everyone why hes the best right winger in the lower divisions and the mighty Burgos march on to the next phase with the taste of victory lingering in the dressing room.
Onto the next leg away at Almeria B, a team who like Burgos destroyed their league, this on paper, was going to be a high scoring game or a boring one as the first half closed it was looking to be one of them boring 0-0 games, neither team really threatened. It took until the 65th minute to break the dead lock, a flying shot from Maureta from outside the box smashed the back of the net, things were looking up and burgos started to take hold of the game, unfortunatly as is football it only takes a second to score and Almeria did just that, a wonderful corner whipped into the 6yard box where a mob of people threw their heads into the air, the home side had scored.... the goal gave the hosts belief, confideince that they could carry on and win, changes had to be made, and i did just that, swapping superman scorza for my super sub, the croatian revelation, he did what he was best at, coming on late and running around like hes on speed, whizzing past defenders and tearing their team a new arsehole. 1-2 Burgos move onto the next leg with 2 crucial away goals.
Now for the final game of the season, at my stadium El Platino and infront of my die hard fans, Burgos were ready to win in style, and thats just what we did
A 5-2 Thrashing summed up this season perfectly with my 3 best players all getting a share of the goals, bring on the mighty Deportivo next season!
With a slight dip of form of late, Burgos have dropped several points and thus, dropped from 1st to 3rd. With an original media prediction of 17th, and demotion, this positioning can only be related to the excellent mangerial skills of the unknown manager, Josh Reed. In addition to the excellent success in the league, Reed's Burgos side saw off Ponferradina, Lanzarote and a strong Orihuela side to put themselves in the 4th round of the Spanish Cup. Valencia was drawn as their opponents, and facing the monumental task, Josh Reed shocked all critics, by holding Valencia to a 3-3 draw at home. Unfortunately, Burgos' upset dreams were thwated with a 2-0 defeat away, however the game attracted over 49,000 fans from both sides, lining the coffers of the Spanish League 2 B2 side. Following the defeat in the Spanish cup, Burgos only managed to win 2 of 7 games. However, they only suffered one loss in this time, a 2-1 defeat against Alaves at home.
With the year coming to a close, Argentinian Lionel Messi won the World Player of the Year award, with Inter Milan's star Dutch midfielder Wesley Sneijder coming a close second.
Burgos managed to wheel and deal a few new deals following the re-opening of the transfer market.
Time for my second season at Burgos, after dominating the previous league without competition i decided that the core of my squad was good enough for the level up, so my signing were going to be promising youngsters who can push for first team places, after a little while of scouting and searching through clubs released players i managed to get these beauties Most of my new signings are under 23 and have at least 4 star potiential, these are, the future superstars of the world!
This is my current squad and strongest first 11
Im almost at the halfway point in the season and as you can see once again im doing above all expectations, obviously all down to me and my amazing brain. like the previous season im scoring freely but due to playing the game how its meant to be played im conceding a few goals.
perhaps a few signing in january will beef up my defense and a charge towards Liga BBVA is possible? onwards and upwards
When we last saw Josh Reed's side nipping at the heels of 1st. He whom had been condemned to relegation, was showing all those pundits - both from the media and fans alike - what he could do. Now we rejoin him, did the stary eyed, young, unknown Manager bring glory to his team?
You're damn right he did friends. Thanks to fantastic performances by Burgos new STAR striker, Alejandro.
Awards a-plenty for all!
In addition to these, Mario, whom only joined the side in January, placed highly in interceptions made, key tackles and key headers. Several other players did well, such as Counago, Prieto, Fortune, Maranon and Maureta finishing within the top 20 key passes.
With several high profile contracts nearing their end, Josh went to renew the contracts. Addison demanded 3x his existing wage in addition to increase in alot of perks/bonuses. DAFUQ? Some contracts may not be renewed.
Missing promotion isn't a failure. It's just a missed opportunity. The only failure is to be Brannigans Law. ~ Swifty Cockmongrel, Excellent VUer/Manager
I considered handing my resignation letter in to the board, but heartwarming calls from my friends Tony Pulis, Sam Allardyce and Steve Kean reassured me that I am the right man to take this club forward. Steve Kean sang me a beautiful rendition of The Communard's "Don't Leave Me this Way" down the phone, while Allardyce recalled to me in vivid detail the time he shat in his wives handbag. Not everybody was that friendly, though.
Some mischevious bastard ordered and sent 20 dominoes pizzas to my front door. When the spotty, pug-face Brannigans showed up on his scooter with boxes in toe, I told him to fuck right off and to do one, the bellend.
I finished the season in a similar fashion to how I had played all season: 5th place. The play offs were a distinct possibility in the final month with Burgos equal on points with Gimnastica (who faded away) for fourth, but losing my top goalscorer Rufino and playmaker Nunez for 3 match suspensions each (in addition to 6 medium-term injuries) severely depleted my squad strength to the point that I only had two AMCs (Goku being one, lol) and a centerback from my first team on the subs bench. On the plus side, to only concede 28 goals all season is a testament to my marvellous managerial nous.
And to think, only 3 more draws would of secured me the play offs spot! C'est la vie
told you drawing wont get you anywhere, how does it feel to be bottom of the list? even mr sackalot, bran is doing better than you have fun playing in the bottom league against the dregs of society!
time for the 2nd half of the season, unfortunatly i wasnt able to sign any super players like last season so my charge for the championship wasnt going to happen, however was again i exceded all expectations, another typical season by master tactician Daniel Stirling, thanks to my free flowing attacking football i dragged in the fans, selling out my stadium for one game and reaching an average attendace of 7773.
now for the second season in a row, the play offs Alas it wasnt meant to be..... crashing out in the final to a 2-0 lose after such a brave display in the first leg which ended 0-0. but the show must go on, another successful season in the eyes of the burgos ultras and with an influx of young talented players itching to make the headlines who knows what next season may bring
heres my superstar squad, once again lead by scorza and valle with new signing medina making himself a firm fav. there also 3 others guys who are missing as their contracts ended so i let them go most notable being sodinha.
fucking suck my dick football manager your dead to me you fucking cunt head
fucking 14 match unbeaten run then you throw a fucking spanner in the works i was fucking going to get promotion then you took a giant shit on my fucking hopes and dreams and aspirations you fucking cruel prick
just fuck off and die FM i wouldnt spit on you if you were on fire just fuck off
Another mid season update from the current leader of this thread. after the heart ache of reaching the final play off game and losing i believed this season would be ours. things are not going as planned, although were not out for the count we on an upwards struggle. and to make matters worse
The damn traitor was asking to double his wages, when i refused he jumped ship to Parma, Scora fook you
on a brighter note im in the quater finals of the cup, seeded against Barcelona. £££££
Ok so second season isnt going so great. My plan was to avoid relegation and im sure that will happen. I had a bad spell with injuries meaning i lost 4 in a row!!!
When this season ends im going to have a clear out of some old midfielders and bring in some fresh blood. on a side note Fabricio has been epic :)
Firstly my young superstar in the making. watch out for this guy in the future folks
now for the close season, how far did Stirlins wonderful tactics get him this time a 2nd season of reaching the play offs, beating all expectations again. hopefully this time we finish the job
fuck fuck fuckdidly fuck fuck fuck. we blew it again, after dominating the semi final and winning 2-0 in the final 1st leg we screw up on the last game, with the liga bbva on our doorstep, stupid spainish rules didnt even let us go into extra time or pens. as racing ended higher then go through regardless.
now i have a long pre season of looking for a replacement for the traitorous cunt scorza. hopefully this season will be 3rd times the charm onwards an upwards
