Forums / The hangaround / Funny Spells

Name of Spell: P.O.M.A.
Affect(s): Causes armies to have severe bouts of P.O.M.A., the worst form of Diarrhea!
Result(s):  Armies move at half the speed of a merge, and leave a brown trail in their wake!

Name of Spell: Drunkeness
Affect(s): Causes bottles of rum to suddenly pop up everywhere on your enemies armies making them stagger around everywhere and looking for a brawl
Result(s): Armies begin to move in random directions, while slowly killing eachother off and attacking allies.

Name of Spell: Chewing Gum Kadabra
Affect(s): Chewing gums are shot out of the wands from your magic units, the lands are covered in chewing gum
Result(s): Everything is sticky hard to move and farm food, but everyone is happy, because they now got chewing gum forever. =D

Name of Spell: Fornication
Affect(s): An army sieging a city will sneak in and start to have sexual interco*beep* with the armies, children, wimminz and even the men actually living/staying in the city
Result(s): The morale in the city will drop rapidly, armies inside the city will slowly fall apart as more and more of it's soldiers die of fatigue, percentage of a succesfull attack will slightly decrease due to fatigue of the besieging army

Name of Spell: Disguise
Affect(s): An army of soldiers
Result(s): When eye in the sky is casted on the army, it would show all your soldiers as peasants

Dwarf Unique Ability-Drunken Desolation:

Bloated on beer the dwarves rage through the city on a deadly rampage, leaving nothing but fire and smoke in their path. Only whence they’ve quenched the lust for gold shall the drunken ones rest.

I think it’s about time the dwarves get drunk like they’re MEANT to be so i think this spell fits in well. So basically the army you use it on gets a permanent +500% OP/DP boost.

Orcs Unique Ability-Unification Blood Rush:

Orcs around the globe temporarily cease internal fighting and unite under one banner for one common cause; to force misery, pain and depression onto others. Thousands of orcs march into unknown territory massacring everyone in their path. Villages crumble and peasants perish, no one is spared. Once a lush and fertile landscape reduced to ash and decay...

Targeted on 3-5 enemy cities, it rapidly eats away at the peasant population and income of the host city. It slowly turns 1/8 of the buildings in the city to wreckages and when anyone clicks on the city you can see a cool little counter which slowly rises as more orcs join the cause. eg. "Rampaging Orcs: 4000". You can attempt to control it by putting more troops in the city but it will merely slow the increase of orcs and as more orcs come the faster pezzy numbers fall. But basically they don’t go away until 1/8 of the city is destroyed lol.

Troll Unique Ability-Calling of the Forests:

The call of the forests is a spiritual ceremony for the trolls, it means it is the time to leave the cities and return to the forests. Trolls from far and wide gather in the sacred homelands where they partake in series of rituals. Months later the trolls re-emerge from the forests enlightened..

This is a pretty kl little spell, trolls have alot of downsides so this could be very useful to them. It provides a permanent 5% OP/DP boost to all troops, lowers science costs by 5%, and lastly increases their wood incomes by...hmm...10%? It takes 48 hours before the rituals finish and the ability takes effect. Pezzy growth goes down too 0 as they’re all making they’re pilgrimages to the holy sites of the forests. These come back in the form of 1000 berserkers INSTANTLY added to all cities

Halfling Unique Ability-Pumpkin Madness:

Since the dawn of their creation the Halflings have been driven for pumpkins, but has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe rather than being driven FOR pumpkins that they could be driven BY pumpkins. Well of course not that’s just stupid... Although that could all be about to change..

This foolish experiment brought the Halflings cherished pumpkins to life. And guess what? They’re PURE evil...lol. The evil little pumpkins enslave the Halfling population who were dumb enough to bring them to life in the first place. Although it’s not ALL bad...

Under their new authority, the Halflings are driven to work faster by their evil pumpkin slave drivers and by a severe slash through the Halflings free time the production triples.

Human Unique Ability-Cunning of a Nation:

Renowned for their trickery and science, the humans prepare for the biggest hoax ever seen. The ‘Cunning of a Nation’ ability creates an illusion of what would seem to be a God in the skies. The wise words of wisdom come down upon the creatures of the planet, only to their dismay it tells them, “You all suck, humans reign supreme! Give them your entire gold supply or the consequences will be dire...”

Unfortunately, it can only appear briefly, just long enough to visit three pre-determined empires (by empires I mean a single player, not a kingdom...) plus it cannot be used on another human. You have 24 hours after invoking to appear to all three chosen players before it expires. The person it is used on gets the message on the news page, “The almighty God appeared to us today and told us we sucked and had to give our gold to the humans. Sorry boss.”

Elf Unique Ability-The Great Rift:

To think anyone could be so chaotic and tyrannous to unleash such a thing upon the world... Even more disturbing is that it’s the elves... You could possibly expect an orc to do something as of this but elves!?!?!?! The Elven King, walks out upon his fortress rooftop, thousands of elves watch from below. Wise words are spoken, cheers are called up from the crowds and then...The chanting begins... The walls of the castle light up in a beautiful dark blue, the trees come into blossom, daffodils rise from the grass, a great big gaping black hole appears in the sky...The elves start to glow, and slowly they ascend upwards to the Great Rift. The High Elf king is the first to be engulfed, followed by the nobility, followed by the surfs, and lastly...the children...After swallowing the hosts cities’ inhabitants and then the actual city itself, the black rift continues to grow until four more cities are forcefully sacrificed in the surrounding area. It then vanishes leaving a barren landscape...

To use this ability the city you plan to cast from must have at least 100,000 peasants inside, once the great rift is used the host city disappears off the map along with the 4 closest other cities INCLUDING allied cities.

lol tis wuz all from a suggestion from ages ago i made for new spells, funnily enough i actually believed theyd work in vu but it wuznt long b4 i realized wat an twit i wuz but still tho they shud fit in wit tis thread. My favourite is "Pumpkin Madness"

lol its more like

Name of Spell: Mcdonalds
Affect(s): A city and its peasents
Result(s): Twice as much food consumption, but and extra 5k food a tick.  Also, building and troop training time doubles due to the peasants becoming obese and having difficulty moving too much.  1% of pezzies die a tick due to heart attacks.

Dang it Charley.

I started writing before I saw your suggestion.....

since probly no1 bodered to read all my writin i'll jus post the favourite one of them lolz.

Halfling Unique Ability-Pumpkin Madness:

Since the dawn of their creation the Halflings have been driven for pumpkins, but has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe rather than being driven FOR pumpkins that they could be driven BY pumpkins. Well of course not that’s just stupid... Although that could all be about to change..

This foolish experiment brought the Halflings cherished pumpkins to life. And guess what? They’re PURE evil...lol. The evil little pumpkins enslave the Halfling population who were dumb enough to bring them to life in the first place. Although it’s not ALL bad...

Under their new authority, the Halflings are driven to work faster by their evil pumpkin slave drivers and by a severe slash through the Halflings free time the production triples.

:P Its..

..odd