Jokes with Blong

Jokes with Blong
16:50:49 Jun 14th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Blong lost his gf last week. So he went to Thai-land n hops into a bar. "Ya know" says the bartender, "we have a drink named after you". Blong perks up, "Bling?"
19:56:37 Jun 14th 19 - Bran* (Mr. Boris Trump):* ok now post the joke
20:12:28 Jun 14th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Blong where u at! Make some jokes n entertain us like u did me in the morning :)
00:40:00 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: I'm at a funeral right now .. its dead boring
00:44:06 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Heard my wife say "do you want chicken, lamb or beef tonight" I said "chicken would be great my love" She said "You're having salad you fat pig, I was asking the cat"
00:46:33 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: I went to the doctor. I raised my arm and said "Doctor, it hurts when I do this" .. he said "then don't do that"
00:47:22 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: I went to another doctor. He gave me 2 months to live. I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years
00:48:45 Jun 15th 19 - Arkantos* (Duke Ajax):* Ahahahaha that last one lol
00:50:16 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: cop said to me "Turn Around" I said "Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild" cop yelled "Turn Around" I said "Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms" I got tasered
00:57:45 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: me: its not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up cop: that's not how a field sobriety test works
00:59:27 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Note to self... always make sure your vibrator and taser are different colors
01:01:26 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Lmfao. <3 <3 <3
01:01:34 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo..
01:03:13 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Ahahahaha
01:06:32 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they prepare your food in front of you. I took her to Subway... that's where the fight started
03:09:44 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: 3 Aby players - Osi Bran and Hanky - walk into a bar. Barman says, "is this a joke"
03:11:14 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Mr. Bling: 3 Aby players - Osi Bran and Hanky - walk into a bar. Barman says, "is this a joke" Jokes of the week :P
03:16:40 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Little Johnny goes with his parents to visit Bogdans parents on the day Bogdan was born. They warn Johnny not to mention his missing ears. Upon seeing Bogdan, Johnny remarks "What lovely skin he has" Bogdans parents thank him. He then asks if Bogdan's health is good and his parents state Bogdan is healthy. "How are his eyes?" little Johnny asks. "Excellent" his parents reply. "Good" Johnny remarks "Cause he'd be fucked if he needed glasses"
03:19:44 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: A policeman's just been round my house. Asked me where I was between 5 & 6. I told him kindergarten... anyway I need bail money.
03:24:57 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Ahahaha
03:28:12 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Lewatha tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. Lewatha asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
03:30:56 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: I'm just here to say sh1t I find funny. If that offends you, please note that I find that funny too.
03:32:39 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Bran still looks pretty good for his age, but from far far away..
03:37:06 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Its VU Bday celebration time. Everyone enter Josh's bar. Blong walks up to Josh "mate, i'm low on funds n really wanna have a few but all I got is $10. say I bet you this $10 that I can have one foot on the floor and the other on the ceiling?" Josh looks at floor and ceiling and thinks "WTF!" and agrees. Blong takes off his wooden leg and touches it to the ceiling. Laughing he takes $10 off. "Josh, really feeling bad taking your $ that was a trick so how bout I bet ya this $20 that I can touch my elbow to my eye?" Josh actually tries it and says "WTF! No way no" and agrees. Blong takes out his glass eye and touches it to his elbow. Laughing swipes the $20 off. "OMG! I have made you a bit mad Josh. Sorry how bout we double or nothing here I bet you this $40 that I can stand on one end of the bar and pee all the way to the other side and not spill a single drop!" Josh looks at the long long bar and thinks there is no possible way. He agrees and Blong stands on one end and pees! He pisses everywhere!! all over the bar. Josh is so happy to have his money back; he whips out a bar towel and cleans up the mess and smiles at the Blong "hahaha see Blong don't you always lose! Gimme the $" Blong looks at Josh with a smile on his face and happily says "thats ok see those guys in the corner? Bran, Chade, Mcmax, Phat, Aisha... I bet them $500 that I could come over here Pee all over your bar and you would wipe it up with a smile on your face!" :D :D
03:39:15 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: lol
03:40:17 Jun 15th 19 - Ms. Blood Rayne: Motto of the Feckers kingdom There is nothing better than to look at your loved one while he/she is sleeping. While they do not know you are looking at them. Or that you are in their house.
03:40:58 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Anyone else wonder if Caitlyn Jenners cat was Bruce Jenners dog?
03:43:43 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: Hanky's so bad a driver, Siri once said to him "In 400 feet, pullover and let me out"
03:44:24 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Mr. Bling: Lewatha tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. Lewatha asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself." Lmfao "Mr. Bling: I'm just here to say sh1t I find funny. If that offends you, please note that I find that funny too" Hahaha^^
03:46:03 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Gn Blong n all. Have a good one. I'm still laughing XD
03:47:40 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: The train was quite crowded, and a Cao walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. Cao asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular. ‘Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.' Cao walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.' She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!' This time Cao didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out of the train window and sat down. The woman shrieked" Oh mon dieu, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American savage should be put in his place!' An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'
03:52:54 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Bling: People ask us feckers what the secret to making your lover go hmmmm mmm mmm all night... its duct tape. We use duct tape.
06:06:16 Jun 15th 19 - Schepp* (Doctor Schepp of The Royal Order):* Went to a family brunch and heard this conversation between Bling and his son: Son: daddy are those balloons on mommies chest? Bling: yes son, and when she dies we can blow them up and she will float to heaven. Son: really? I saw uncle Cao blowing on them yesterday and she didn’t float anywhere...
11:35:13 Jun 15th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Schepp: Went to a family brunch and heard this conversation between Bling and his son: Son: daddy are those balloons on mommies chest? Bling: yes son, and when she dies we can blow them up and she will float to heaven. Son: really? I saw uncle Cao blowing on them yesterday and she didn’t float anywhere... Ahahaha^^
09:29:37 Jun 18th 19 - Mr. Bling: Osi is out driving , and get's pulled over by a Josh the cop. "drivers license, registration, and proof of insurance" says Josh the cop. Osi finds his registration & proof of insurance easily enough, but has trouble finding his license. He asks Josh the cop "what does it look like?" Josh the cop says "it's rectangular and it has your picture on it" Osi finds his make-up mirror , says "here it is" and hands it to Josh the cop Josh the cop looks at it and says "Oh I am sorry, you can go, I didn't realize you were a police officer"
12:52:57 Jun 18th 19 - Mr. Davy Jons Daa Kinky Homoflagot: Ahahaha^^
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