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adventures of stirlin and wilb
17:26:17 Jun 11th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Every 15 seconds. Thats how often men think about s3x. Thats why p0rn was so successful. This is the story of two of our very own VUers.

Chapter 1.

 


Stirlin, sat there at his computer screen. Box of kleenex nearby, within reaching distance, running dangerously low on ammunition.
"Wilber, you got anymore tissues man?" Stirlin shouts up to his lodger buddy.
"Sorry man, they're in use right now!" A reply came down, voice panting.
Stirlin, walks back to his computer screen, carefully incase any neighbours see his trouser tent through the window.

Clicking his favourite site, the page is unable to load. Not to be discouraged, he uses his second favourite site. The page no longer exists.
"Weird" Stirlin mumbles.
Still, not disheartened, his third favourite site. Still nothing.

"God fraking dammit! Hey Wilber, is your sites working?" Stirlin pitifully cried.
"Yeah, this Hentai, is, alright." Wilber called back, still gasping in between words.

Stirlin, now being let down and in need of a cold shower turned to flick the TV on.
"Biggest loser, mhmm... nah, blue peter no chance not in my current state. Oooh, sky sports news, that fit blonde girl better be on!"
Settling on the news, Stirlin laid back into his egg chair.

"Looks like that was abit of a sticky situation. Back to you in the studio" Came the news reporters voice.
"In recent news, p0rn has been banned off the internet. Any site found with images of any s3xual nature, will be forced to take the images off or they're site will be shut down and possible court orders."

Before Stirlin could shout up to Wilber from the comfort of his egg chair, Wilber was already inside the living room, boxers around his ankles.
"You heard that!?" Stirlin asked.
"This is... sooo not cool." Wilber answered, unaware or just not caring about his nudity infront of another guy.

Knocking at the door, the guys good friend Rufus had come back after constantly trying to perfect the art of space-time travel!
"Guys, I have done it! My time machine is a success! I just tested it out on two tards called Bill and Ted. I didn't know if travelling at beyond the speed of light would alter your genes. But evidently not, they were still the same f@gs as when I sent them on their 'excellent adventure.' Anyway, long story short. I want you to have my time machine. I've moved on to better things, I'm trying to turn Alex Ferguson into a mature adult with my new DNA structure alternator!"

With that, Wilber and Stirlin follow Rufus to the time machine.

"What do you want to do first Stirlin?" Wilber asked.
"I think, since p0rn has been banned. We should go and see some of the most successful lovers and seducers the world has ever known. We can learn there skills and maybe pull some real chicks!" Stirlin requests.
"Like who?" Wilber responded.
"Well, theres Casanova, Romeo……..and Jude Law!" Stirlin lists off proudly.
"Well what we waiting for? Lets go on our most awesome adventure! Groovy!"

 

With that Wilber and Stirlin got into the make-shift time machine. First stop, Casanova, with Rufus waving goodbye to the two good friends.

 



[[I'm working on chapter 2, should be better :)]]

 


17:35:36 Jun 11th 09 - Mr. Seloc:

Bill and Ted excellent adventure xD that bring back memories.


17:41:03 Jun 11th 09 - Duke Pikachu:

*beep*ing sick story!

should get Rp points for that mother*beep*er :P


17:45:09 Jun 11th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Thanks guys, was worried everyone would ignore this :P


17:55:30 Jun 11th 09 - Dark Prince Stirlin:

go us!


"Three thumbs up!"
~Charley

"A must have for the family"!
~VU RP Magazine

"They are heroes on a journey!"
~Some random hobo


18:54:19 Jun 11th 09 - Mr. Brannigans Law:

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool


18:54:40 Jun 11th 09 - Mr. Brannigans Law:

finally, a story i can relate to!


19:03:59 Jun 11th 09 - Mr. Travis Leiondon:

"They are heroes on a journey!"
~Some random hobo

Hey, at least use my name... >_<


19:24:52 Jun 11th 09 - Prince Mielo:

"Rip off!"
~Mielo from effie


19:28:13 Jun 11th 09 - Sir Water:

nice one got to say wilber :)


20:46:25 Jun 11th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

The next instalment, due to the first being an introduction and they’re fairly short :)

 

Chapter 2.

 

 

“Wait, when you said Casanova, Romeo and Jude Law, did you mean they’re the chicks?” Wilber questioned.

"1diot” Stirlin replied.

“I’m glad we left that place Stirlin.”

“Whys that Wilbur?”

“Because it can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and it was only Thursday morning when we left.”

“You sure it wasn’t cos porn was banned Wilber?”

“Oh yeah, could be that.”

 

“Wilber, I’ve just had the strangest idea.” Stirlin mulled over on the short .

“I told you not to eat on an empty stomach.”

 

After a few minutes, the telephone box disappeared into nothingness and only Wilber and Stirlin could see the crazy *beep* that was happening.

Both Wilber and Stirlin had ages greatly over the last 20 seconds, they had grown long grey beards and their hair had whitened.

“Whats that?” Wilber asked

“Whats what?”

“You got a beard!” Wilber exclaimed.

“So do you!”

“We both got beards…” Wilber pondered for a while. “Doesn’t this remind you of that beatles song, when I’m 63.”

“That’s 64 bud.” Stirlin said, correcting him.

Just as quick as the mysterious beards had appeared, the two friends de-aged, getting younger and younger until they were prepubescent adolescents.

“What the devil is going on?” Wilber squeeked.

“It seems we’re travelling through the sea of time.”

“That would explain a few things.” The phonebox then broke through the other side of the sea of time and the intrepid young travellers aged to their normal age once again.

 “I’m glad I’m not young again, or old!” Wilber laughed.

“Rightly so Wilber,  I can’t fap when I’m old because it might not work right and well being too young means I have a small penor! I’m glad I’m the right age again.”

 

 

Unfortunately for the boys, when the time machine broke through the other side of the sea of time, it damaged their time machine.

“Whats that sound?” Wilber asked.

“What sound? Oh wait, yeah we’re losing power! I think this baby is going to die on us.”

“Why don’t we call a road service?” Wilber asked, his limited intelligence showing once again.

“We can’t, no roads mate. We’re in a sea after all.”

“Yeah, that and we aren’t sub-scribed.” Wilber giggled.

 

The phonebox then sunk to the bottom of the beautiful briny sea.

“What a chance to get a better peep, at the plants and creatures of the deep.” Wilber said.

“You 1diot, there are no plants and creatures here, we’re travelling through the space-time sea, not the real sea.”

“Whats that then?” Wilber pointed at a large group of fish.

“That’s a school of fish Wilber.”

“They look abit old to be in school, maybe a university of fish?”

 

Wilber and stirlin left the phone box, Stirlin took his socks and shoes off, however Wilber did not. Obviously whilst travelling through space time it would be impossible to drown, since its not a real sea.

“Why didn’t go take your shoes and socks off Wilber?” Stirlin enquired.

“I don’t like getting sand in between my toes and I especially hate the feel of seaweed!”

“Hey Wilber, don’t you know abit about quantum physics, spacetime relativity, physics and mechanics?” Stirlin asked.

“Well gosh darnit your right. Why didn’t I remember this earlier in the storyline, or earlier in my life to build a time machine with Rufus?”

“Cos my friend, you’re a dumb@ss.” Stirlin countered.

“Oh right.”

 

With that Wilber got back to work on the time machine and they set off once more for the wild blue yonder!


20:56:03 Jun 11th 09 - Commander Aligreat:

1 thing confuses me.

You went from Pre-pubescant teens to old men, to pre-pubescent teens, to your real age of a slightly older pre-pubescant teen.

 


21:04:00 Jun 11th 09 - Prince Mielo:

ali scores!


21:08:19 Jun 11th 09 - Dark Prince Stirlin:

wilber drags our average age down!

damn the oldies and their jealousy of youth


21:17:02 Jun 11th 09 - Endless Mystique:

how is this RP? :p


21:20:31 Jun 11th 09 - Commander Aligreat:

wilber is playing the role of someone who is over the age of 13....poorly i may add, but playing it nontheless


Technically this could be in the RP forum as a story...but people don't know where that forum is half of the time so it gets more attention here :p


22:35:01 Jun 11th 09 - Dark Prince Stirlin:

yup was the reason i told him to post it here


02:36:03 Jun 13th 09 - Mr. Chupamela Polla:

Good reading, make sure to throw my penis in somewhere in your story


23:41:54 Jun 15th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Sorry, been really busy, so late post and its not a long chapter.
See if you can spot the special guests :D


Chapter 3.

 

 

A bright light came over the two, now space-time, travellers due to them slowing down back to under the speed of light. As it abruptly halted moving, Wilber and Stirlin were smashed into the side of the phonebox.

Picking themselves up, checking if both their manlihood’s were still intact, they leave the comfort of the phonebox into the Venetian streets.

 

“Where are we Stirlin?” Wilber enquired.

“We should be in Venice in the 18th century. Be warned, this is a haven for vices and the like.”

“So in other worlds, prostitution and crime is ripe?”

“Yes.” Stirlin put bluntly

“Aweeee-some.”

 

Wilber and Stirlin continued down the street, turning a few heads. Obviously because they’re hawt, but also because of their clothes, hairstyle and smell. It was all too futuristic in the world of corsets, out of date hairstyles and stink of free flowing urine down the streets.

 

Walking down the main Venetian street, two other males seemingly dressed as if they were from the future were walking towards them. Stirlin nudged Wilber and pointed towards them. One hundred meters away. Seventy-five. Fifty. With every step closer they came, it seemed as if they were looking into a mirror.

Finally, coming face to face the strangers had the same expressions on their mugs, as Wilber and Stirlin had.

“Hai!” Wilber said.

“Ohai!” One of the strangers said back.

“Who be you?” Wilber questioned.

A few seconds of awkward silence then happened. Stirlin and the man opposite him hadn’t uttered a word or even took their eyes off each other, as in a completely straight way, not *beep*.

“Umm, who is we?” The talkative stranger asked.

“Wilber, I think these guys may be Effie and Mielo, on another adventure that we totally didn’t rip off.” Stirlin said, still glaring into the opposites eyes.

“Oh yes, I be Mielo!” Said the talkative one again.

“What are you guys doing here?” Stirlin enquired.

“We’re on a boob poking expedition!” Mielo responded.

“Oh really, who you going for?” Wilber raised.

“Her.” Effie said, pointing towards a girl of about 17 years old, walking not too far in the distance.

With that, Wilber and Stirlin both looked at each other and nodded and slowly turned back towards the two other adventurers on a great quest. Before either parties could blink, Effie and Mielo were falling to the ground, after massive hits to their faces.

 

Turning around, they ran towards what looked like the holy grail of all womanhood.

“Da guys.” Wilber and Stirlin said, simultaneously, galloping off towards the sun.

“You mah wingman Stirlin?” Wilber quizzed.

“Obviously!”

 

Before they had the chance to wonder what a beautiful and delicate creature this could possibly be, they had ran passed her, so they turned around and swiftly walked towards her.

 

“Ohai” the woman said.

“Za” Wilber nodded.

“My name is Ellen,” the woman continued.

 

 





[[Can these two heroes pull? Find out next chapter]]


Aw...I wanted Mielo to win :(


01:48:35 Jun 16th 09 - Mr. Gawaine:

No they can't. It's going to end up in a big disaster with Mielo coming up behind them and yammering at them until their braaaaiiiinnnssss explode.


13:00:30 Jun 16th 09 - Prince Mielo:

O..M...G! You rip off one good adventure and then humiliate the head roles? :o :o Consider yourself sewed! :p

+ there better be naked scenes innit with Ellen and mielo 8-)


13:03:46 Jun 16th 09 - Pirate Lewatha:

now is when it starts getting good!


16:53:24 Jun 16th 09 - Duke Arzun:

“We both got beards…” Wilber pondered for a while. “Doesn’t this remind you of that beatles song, when I’m 63.”

Did I hear Beatles?!


15:56:23 Jun 20th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Was hoping for something special to happen but the man I'm looking for is nowhere to be find. I'll write him in some other time.

Next chapter should be posted tonight :)


11:06:04 Jun 21st 09 - Prince Mielo:

catch me on msn :)


00:36:07 Jun 23rd 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Sorry for the delay guys, but the next chapter should be worth it! You'll see when it is posted but until then, eagerly await it. The next chapter should be soon, followed by the one after that the same day.


01:49:32 Jun 24th 09 - Lady Sexier Than Quietone:

Chapter 4.

 

 

While Efrandor and Mielo were busy getting their assens kicked from the, now obvious, athlete and boobie-equipped (in the form of Ellen) Wilber and Stirlin continued talking with Ellen. Little did they realise, the two boys were a little sore about losing out on this fine specimen of womanhood.

 

Skipping all the bad flirting, needless small talk and general boringness of the typical “pulling” ritual, Wilber and Stirlin found themselves in the middle of a bar, late at night with a drunk Ellen to match the drunk Wilber.

 

Something had caught Wilbers attention though, a small ginger midget dressed in green and sat atop a cauldron. Nobody else but Wilber had seemed to notice this creature, so he approached it with caution, while Ellen went to powder her nose, or something. He didn’t listen that much, this thing had taken his attention.

 

“Ohai” the being said.

“Za” Wilber replied, his usual greeting.

“I shall grant ye three wishes, the wishes be three should you do a thing for me.”

“Was that meant to rhyme?” Wilber asked. “Well either way, be out with it.”

“Go get me a pint of Guinness, I’m parched.”

With that Wilber approached the bar, bought the pint and gave it to the small green man.

“Thanking you lad. The names Alastair Blair. You can have your three wishes if you answer me these questions three. Number 1, what is your name?”

“Wilber, I have no other names.”

“Two, what is your quest.”

“To have many ladies!”

“Three what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” The man asked finally.

“Hey this isn’t Holy Grail you know. Now whats in that cauldron?”

“My gold” the man answered, smiling.

“Oh ok.” Wilber answered. With that he picked up the small man and put him on a coat rack and filled his pockets with gold, just in time for Ellen to come out.

 

“Okay I’m ready to go babe.” She said smiling.

 

Upon leaving the bar, they found Efrandor and Mielo crouching down attempting to hide from the noble and righteous questers. They had obviously stalked them and watched them through the window. However, being the victors in the previous fight, Wilber, followed by Stirlin had taken the morale highground.

 

They continued their path until they had reached Ellen’s house. It was a nice house, a villa you could call it. A pool, many bedrooms and bathrooms and wonderful furniture, primitive as it may be, considering the time period. That’s what being high up in large businesses can pay for.

 

Leaving Stirlin to the maids and Efrandor and Mielo to clamber over the outer walls leading to the courtyard, then to the bedroom windows if they could climb that high.

 

Wilber and Ellen though, they went swiftly to the bedroom and began the foreplay. Ellen undressed Wilber as he was undoing her bra strap. Ellen had already nearly completely undressed him though as he struggled with the clips. However, it paid off. He was loving what was infront of him, a semi-nudey lady waiting for Wilber to please both of them. However, to both parties disappointment, Wilber wasn’t good in the sack, hence the quest and it quickly went from a time period of lust to a sad moment of rejection and embarrassment.

 

With Wilbers renewed vigour, he grabbed Stirlin and they ran off towards where they believed Casanova lived. Efrandor and Mielo still following, probably wondering wtf had gone on. For some reason though, Wilber hadn’t dressed himself again and thus got many evil looks on his journey. Until he stole a shirt and some pants at least.






You'll have to see the excitement unravel in the next few days. Your all going to be pleasantely suprised at what happens!


Poor Wilber...based on a true story :'(


07:53:03 Jun 24th 09 - Pirate Lewatha:

and ofcourse you had to make love to the poor girl :(


13:06:51 Jun 24th 09 - Mr. Magneto:

Wilberforce - impotence or incompetence? Or both?


Lew is jealous O:


00:22:09 Jun 25th 09 - Prince Mielo:

nub ... ellen=lewatha :p


And another rip off chapter making fun out of the 2 best things that ever hit VU :)


07:57:36 Jul 26th 10 - Mr. Admirable:

Inspiring story. Get Stirling back and do the next chapter pl0x.


10:02:07 Jul 29th 10 - Mr. Mielo:

yeah go on, rip off some more fiblerdork


17:57:50 Jul 29th 10 - Mr. Vuggy The Annoying Bastard:

Why isn't this in RP forums?


04:50:03 Aug 1st 10 - King Charley The Sprisely Active:

Because no one would see it there...obviously.


04:58:18 Aug 1st 10 - Duke Some Fcked Dude:

obv because people are to busy reading much better RP's!!!!

NOOOOOOOOT!!!!


17:51:25 Aug 1st 10 - King Charley The Sprisely Active:

How many people actually go on the RP forum? That's what I thought ;-)  More people go on The Hangaround and would see such a sexy title and want to read it.


18:02:12 Aug 1st 10 - Clown Wankin Between Ticks:

lol one year has passed :/ time goes so fast :/ 


19:14:27 Aug 1st 10 - Mr. Vuggy The Annoying Bastard:

RP's are so boring.. get this outta herr!!


22:33:23 Aug 1st 10 - King Charley The Sprisely Active:

But this has GheyWilbernub and StirlinFool! :(


22:47:05 Aug 1st 10 - Mr. Vuggy The Annoying Bastard:

That doesn't make my appetite for it any stronger.. Get this shit out my face! >:O


15:28:47 Aug 2nd 10 - Duke Some Fcked Dude:

charley, fck vuggy ban him and get his sh!t outa our face's >:)


17:54:53 Aug 2nd 10 - Lady Godiva:

Wow, I can't believe this was a year ago. Good times...If Stirlin came back and people wanted the story finishing I may contemplate it!


19:52:55 Aug 2nd 10 - Mr. Vuggy The Annoying Bastard:

Stfu u nub! Go somewhere else with your BS SFD!



21:30:09 Aug 2nd 10 - Duke Some Fcked Dude:

suck it fag!!! :P


01:31:42 Aug 5th 10 - Mr. Mielo:

you can not have that behaviour in this establishment ... it makes my ears cry :(


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