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Charleys Nursing Home | ||||
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In the land of Visual Utopia, not too far from the Tavern of the 3 Headed Dragon (That is Ye Olde Tavern for you m0r0ns), there is a rather new building that just finished construction. It is a seemingly plain building made of large white stones and even has an ominous tower that hovers over it. The sign on the front reads: CHARLEY'S NURSING HOME FOR OLD WASHED UP ROLEPLAYERS Inside, you find Charley at the main desk, sipping on some coffee that may or may not be spiked with alcohol. "Ah! Come in, come in! You must be new here, please take a look around and see if this place is for you. Our first floor has a bar, rec room, pool area, theater, and various other places of interest. Just don't go up to the 1000th floor...that is Scientist's permanent residence. Hence the ominous tower. We also have the deep and dark dungeon-like basement, which resembles Shezmu's normal habitat. Don't know if he is down there or not. No one we sent ever came back. But anyways, make yourself at home. Especially if you are mostly inactive, old, boring, or washed up. Guests are welcome but please remember that the security staff will be watching. Enjoy your stay," said Charley until his face turned a bit blue. He went back to reading a book called "Pretending How To Be Busy At Work" and sipping on his coffee. | ||||
*looks around* "How the hell did I get here?" | ||||
"Oh that must be the 'Convenient Plot Twist' Portal. Conveniently teleports you here if it makes things interesting," replied Charley as he poured a bottle of some unknown liquid into his coffee. | ||||
"Huh." *sits down, pulls out "How to Alleviate Boredom in a Boring Environment" and falls asleep while reading* | ||||
*Looks at his new surroundings* "Well how did I get here? I was just about to sign some waiver for a drink!" | ||||
*Wilber raises his head* | ||||
Dragon walks in and looks around | ||||
"Keep it down you crazy kids!" grumbled Charley as he played BINGO. | ||||
*shrugs and hands Sci a waiver* | ||||
*Pesterd casually walks in* "Aye, tis a place I best be spending me days... Rotting out in a place like this with the rest of you old folk..." *calls the nurse* "Hey there you young beautiful thing. Pack me up a beer or two will ya?" | ||||
Stormy wakes up from his wheelchair in the hallway, wipes his drool, and shouts | ||||
*Laughs at Stormy being senile* "Hey old man! This place aint got any kids! Its only full of old bafoons like you an me!" | ||||
The 85 year old hairy nurse steps out from her office and hands Pesterd a can of prune juice. "Here you go sweety!" said the woman in a terrible smoking-induced raspy voice as she bats her eye-lashes.
Charley laughs.
"That is Henrietta. She is our resident nurse. She also is one of the land's greatest arm wrestlers." | ||||
*Walks in and pelts the elderly residents with rotten eggs* | ||||
*Pesterd Struggles to keep the horrid prune juice in his system while Henrietta holds him down with her unique strength* "Get'off me o' me you old sag! I ain't drinkin this nasty thing.. get me a beer instead!" He said in a frightened, yet calming tone. 5 minutes later....... "Hmm... where'd these egg yolks come from? Is that from that pesky little kid again" He thinks aloud... | ||||
*reflexively pours Pesterd a beer and levitates it to him* "There you go!" *blinks and looks around with a confused expression* | ||||
*Knocks heard on the door. The door opens from the outside and a balding man with a pot belly is pushed through by a small group of children. The old man stumbles but quickly regains his composure as the door is closed behind him and the children can be heard running off. "Hey, I know you guys - where am I?" "Whats that smell?" "... who served me that Septim shot, I don't remember anything since that moment. Ain't I supposed to be dead?" "What... is... that.... smell?!?" | ||||
"I think Pesterd farted," groaned Charley as the cleaning crew assembled and magically purified the building. | ||||
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