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Ye Olde Taverne | ||||
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*Septim fills any orders and begins dancing. | ||||
*Chugs his drink and dances around also* | ||||
*Grimacing, Anubis accepts the biscuit and eats it thn falls over nearly dead* | ||||
*Cedric steps on the vomit and slides into Anubis, getting it all over him* "Whoopsie!" | ||||
*Anubis calmly wipes the vomit off, then throws a waifer at Arvious for taken millinia to post in infiltration* | ||||
*Shoon shoots a breakable glass of battery acid from a bow into Anubis's head and it shatters on impact, spreading a blue liquid all over him and Cedric* | ||||
*Licks the blue liquid* *Licks it off* | ||||
"KOOL-AID IS MODERN!" *Shoon throws Cedric into a branch where a squirrel attacks him* | ||||
*Breaks back in* | ||||
"CARE BEARS ARE 21st CENTURY!" | ||||
"WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN HERE!" *Arvious throws Electric out the modern window into the modern dumpster, which is picked up by the modern garbage truck.* "Oh, I'm getting tired of the bastard..." | ||||
"He thinks battery acid isn't modern...the hypocrite. He thinks clones aren't modern either? I am the patron saint of Roleplaying...I have powaz beyond your comprehension" | ||||
*Arvious grabs the time staff.* "Hey, you little theif!" *Arvious is about to his Cedric in the head when he notices it has Cedric's name on it.* "Oh... sorry about that." | ||||
*Takes the time staff back and whistles. A clone runs in, takes the staff, and runs off.* | ||||
"Hey man, I said I was sorry. For a moment I thought you had my old time staff from about two million posts ago." [[Order: 150% pure alcohol.]] | ||||
*Septim pours Arvious a Drunk's Demise. | ||||
*sees the drunk's demise, and jaw drops | ||||
"I think he's already signed one, but I guess I should make him sign it again," mutters Septim. *Septim takes the Drunk's Demise from Arvious before he can drink it. He then hands him a waiver and a spen. | ||||
*Shoon walks in again with an army of 50,000 spearmen* "ARVIOUS I DEMAND YOU SURRENDER!KILLING ME IS FUTILE FOR I AM NOT REALLY DAMAGED!" | ||||
*Delran burst into a rage.* | ||||
*shoots at Delran with Black Fire | ||||
"Busy? What the hell are you on about?" *Septim pours Delran a Septim Shot. | ||||
"Not busy? Then pour one for me too!" | ||||
*Septim pours Anubis a Septim Shot. | ||||
*drunkly shoots a arrow at a wall but bounces off the wall and it hits him in the eye* "oh bugger." | ||||
"You are busy if you don't respond to requests within two seconds, so I handled that [misspelt] one for you." | ||||
"It is true that attacking this place with your armies means that all nations are sure to attack you. Especially with Tasidian and Cidel represented here, it would not be a wise idea. Septim, I would like a Septim Shot." *Pulls the arrow out of Bow Master's eye and throws it over his shoulder at the dart board, getting a bulls eye.* | ||||
*runs at the dart boar in slow motion* "myyyyyyyy arrrrooooowwww!!!!" | ||||
*Septim pours Cedric a Septim Shot. "It would not be a good idea to attack again, the first times I have warned you, the next time, there will be dire consequences..." | ||||
*Drinks his Septim Shot* | ||||
"Yes, you wouldn't want to annoy Bronimina...but, to be honest, the space/time continuum is so mucked up in this tavern nobody would probably care if you did act rashly but us." | ||||
*Septim pulls out a swordfish and looks at it. "We will be quite brutal..." | ||||
*Pulls out a dagger that is only a hilt. Throws is away.* | ||||
*looks at Septim and Cedric | ||||
"You ever been stabbed with a swordfish!?" | ||||
-_-; "Yeah, but I usually don't try to look menacing. Tasidian is a country of peace, knowledge, and commerce. We try to avoid war as much as possible, but are always ready to help an ally. We once had the strongest military in the world until King Ernest Deallus felt that Tasidian had conquered enough. He kept the military at about 300,000 men strong and stopped expanding our borders. Our numbers are much smaller since Zurmon attacks us of course." | ||||
"All right, all right, I didn't ask for your kingdom's life story...as for you Septim, yes I have. It came out worse because my armor is much stronger than it's nose." | ||||
*Septim suddenly pulls out a cardboard sheet that looks like the commercial screens seen when somebody is selling something worthless. "Well you havn't tried my patented superswordfish sword! For only one hundred easy payments of 19.95, this swordfish can be yours!" *Septim continues rambling on about how good his swordfish is. | ||||
"i want a super swordfish!!!!" *hands septim 19.95 gold* | ||||
"No-no-no! You must call 1-800-GOT-SPAM! Unfortunately, phones won't exist for at least six hundred years...so I guess you gotta wait!" | ||||
"There is still the wooden phone in the corner that doesn't work still...hehe" | ||||
"Look at you babbling about your troops! I have dragons! Hellooo.... I will wipe out Shoon within seconds! Andoria is a country of peace, but you do not wish to mess with us, or our Cavalry will be very happy to storm you. Should they fail, the entire Andorian Armed Forces will fall upon you and should they fail, which is not likely, The Knights of The Order will do you a good and wipe you out the face of this world!" | ||||
"Well, then say 'shot' in future. I thought you were asking for me to 'shoot' you." | ||||
"Who the heck could control dragons? Seems like dragons would have the power to destroy any kingdom. Dragons usually care more about protecting a horde of gold rather than serving a master. They are intelligent creatures that inhabit the land." | ||||
"Yes, exactly what Cedric said..." *Septim pours a shot for Delran. | ||||
"Well, I am their master! I drank the blood of the eldest dragons before they were slain in combat and now I can control them!" | ||||
*Electric runs away and is picked up by the Millennium Falcon while Darth Vader's Death Star and Star Destroyers fire at the tavern* | ||||
*Septim walks outside, pulls out his sp@m cannon, and shoots the death star and the star destroyers in a quickdraw fashion. Suddenly, the star destroyers and the death star explode. Septim then walks back in. "Bloody spacemen..." | ||||
"So...just because you drank their blood you control them? That sounds so boring...such powerful creatures controlled in such a way...I believe one of them can kill thousands of soldiers alone. It is not even fair." | ||||
"Well I drank the blood of the eldest dragons. They are the ones who control them. The link is done by blood. If you drink the blood of one dragon you can control it....well not quite like that, it still has it's own mind but basically, it will do what you say if it sees some reason into it. And the blood of the eldest dragons gives you control over all dragons if the eldest dragons die. Get it? Won't blame you if you don't. It's too hard for me to get it too." | ||||
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