Ye Olde Taverne |
"No one survives the Drunk's Demise!" "A drop to your lips will take even the strongest of lives!" "A touch to your heart is deadlier than the sharpest knives!"
*Passes out*
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*realizes he's back in the Tavern
"Meh. I started werewolf again, that should be enough until I iron out the creases in my next RP plan."
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pulls a used Pheonix Down out of his pocket
Must have worked like a charm, or the strange unknown tavern powers... either way i'm hungry and thirsty.... where's the grub?
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"Food is not served here!"
*Kills a random patron in a food-request-infused rage*
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*his head morphs into Arnold Schwarzenegger's*
"THERE IS NO FOOD!"
*morphs back*
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*wakes up again and decides to shoot everyone in the right earlobe for no good reason*
"Uhh... I'll have one Septim Shot and a cup of whomever just asked for food here."
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*applies band-aid to ear
"Not n the mood. I'm currently waiting on a message from a certain facility director..."
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*wakes up and kicks everyone in the face to wake them up*
"Uhh, I'll have... B.O.O.Z.E."
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*Kicks down the door and begins launching tumbleweeds into the tavern at the speed of sound with his Tumbleweedinator that he found outside the Taverne incinerator of evil items. Then proceeds to burn the weapon and head inside for a drink*
"Rather slow around here huh?"
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pfft, wtf why isnt there 10k posts in here yet?
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"The entire realm is inactive, in case you haven't noticed. The Tavern is no exception."
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"Oh look, it is Captain Inactivity himself...coming in here and wondering where there aren't 10k posts...maybe because he leaves every couple weeks for a month or more. At least I drop by every few days. Septim is probably gone for awhile. My activity isn't that great and I wonder about my future here...eh."
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"Its slow in here because you don't serve food"
*ducks behind corner table
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"I just find it ironic that I check this forum daily and yet haven't seen an opportunity to post, and you blame me for being inactive. Ha.."
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*Coughs and points to Rencana, which died because no one replied after he advanced the storyline*
"Laugh while you may..."
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*stumbles into the tavern
"which way to Albuquerque?"
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*(1) set up is dusk till dawn
(2) running pickup truck
(3) high tension cable wire
(4) a lead pipe
(5) a maga phone
* Yells " we dont need no stinking RP points" in a wagons east edit (blazing saddles)sort of mannor. tosses the lead pipe thru the window with the tension wire attached anchors the bar and halls ass. hopeing it pulls the side wall of the bar open :P
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darn it i would have to edit pickup truck with draft horse seige enging and tension wire with fine weaved leather rope and lead pipe with some kinda of seige anchor. but would never get into the kingdom that it is in with that equipment plus i didnt ask /fail :P edit could not use hemp rope cause i would end up trying to smoke it.
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ok let me try and get this togather again i edit pickup truck with : army Rough Draft Horses. but still do not want to read all the way back to the begining just because i have Idle Hands.
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Alright, I will make a simple proclamation before this goes any further. a) If you plan on posting on the RP Forum you will read your post BEFORE you click the "Reply" button or make a thread. b) Not make a bunch of posts editing the one before it. c) Don't make an RP topic with absolutely no organization at all...
It is just spam...that is what disorganized and jumbled language is...just slow down.
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"So... this means I'm not allowed to talk anymore?"
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*Three days later* "You are never here to talk...sooo you are an exception."
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*Walks through the tavern door*
"I heard something about a magic tavern in the middle of nowhere. Does this one happen fit that description?"
*Walks over to the bar*
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"Well...it is the tavern in the middle of nowhere with nobody around much...does that count?" :)
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"I guess so. So this here tavern has no magical powers?"
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It has a drink that can take your life... no food... and alot of dust.
By the way, where are you from?
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"It also prevents permanent death if you wish it. Makes things a lot more...fun."
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* jaw drops because for two weeks I thought Demonsul was a pile of blankets in the corner
"Lets get drunk, there's more people alive in here than I thought"
"I WON'T have a drunk's demise, but I will have a pitcher of something strong... and is cold too much to ask?"
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"I come from the land that lies west of here, a land that not even I know the name of."
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"Well that's a bit daft, isn't it? Have you already had some drinks, or what?"
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Well serve them up barkeep.... I've been asking for days for some drinks, and my new freind is parched and confused
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"Yes some water would be nice."
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"I don't know if Septim's listening, he's probably off in a world of his own. If he or Charley don't serve you soon, I'll have to take steps."
*wonders what became of his temporary barkeep badge
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* pounds fists on bar ledge, similar to a child
"BRING US DRINKS... BRING US DRINKS... BRING US DRINKS... "
* thinks to himself, yes, I am doing this for attention
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*Transforms from a pile of blankets and serves the drinks.*
"Septim is...somewhere. I dunno what he has been doing but I have been busy!"
*Turns into a pile of blankets again*
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*climbs out of a pile of dust and dusts himself off before looking at the patrons*
"Did somebody *cough*...say... *cough cough* Septim!?"
*falls over, has a mini-seizure, gets back up, and serves everybody a Septim Shot on him to make up for the lack of activity*
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"I don't know what you served my Charlie but it was disgusting"
"Septim shot eh?"
* sniffs
"Smells appropriate"
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A barefoot figure dressed in a grey monkish looking outfit swoops down out of the dark forest, it gets off the leaf it had been flying on placing the leaf into one of the great pockets in the folds of his clothing and approaches the door to the tavern.
It was a troll but apart from being taller than the average human his features were very human like, nose only a tiny bit bigger than most though he had some of the biggest feet with rather chubby, stubby toes than most had ever seen. When ever anyone asked his name he generally told them it was Scipio but that was not his name which he never ever told anyone as if you called him by his real name he would die and dissappear into nothingness.
Scipio was unusual from most trolls in that from a young age he had studied virtually all the creatures and beings of the land and learnt to move amongst them, you could say he was a nerd among trolls, he was well versed in the art of trolla (magic tricks) along with other strong magic and was a shape shifter though he rarely made use of that ability as he could also turn invisible at the drop of a hat.
One day while lazing about in the branches of his favourite tree near his mountain home he overheard 2 hunters talking and though he did not hear every word they spoke what he heard had perked up his interest. He was one troll that always took any opportunity that presented itself to improve on his already great strength and magic even if it meant moving among men whom, as most trolls, he disliked. He hated to see them happy and would go out of his way to make their lives misserable, playing tricks on them with his magic, causing mischief and making them to fight amongst each other whenever he could.
He had been just about ready to stirr up a beehive above the hunters heads when they had mentioned the 3 headed dragon, something about spirits that gave them the strength of a hundred men "... might even catch us a few wenches too they had joked". Now Wenches were by no means easy prey and he should know, he had learnt some of his magic by watching one wench for a few weeks from his hideout in a tree before she had discoverd him and tried to catch him, she split the mighty tree in half by just a wave of her hands and sent streaks of lightning after him as he tried to get away - this was before he had learnt to become invisible - he got away by the skin of his big toe nail, he had stubbed his toe as he ran and tripped up just as another lightening bolt whisked past his ear. down a large hole he had fallen from which he burrowed into the mountainside and found a tunnel that led him back to his mountain home.
Now he was on a quest to find this 3 headed dragon, it would be a great prize he thought, he would slay it and take it's spirit and if possible enslave one or two of the wenches and force them to teach him some of their magics - this quest brought him to where he now stood at the doors to the tavern - he could not read the words of man though he could speak their lingo.
He knocked on the door but receiving no reply he knocked again. He could hear noises from within so he knew there were people inside, begining to get upset he thumped at the door which swung open and he stepped in - what he saw made his jaw open and almost hit the ground - the walls where festooned with weapons of all sorts - "I must be in close to the 3 headed dragon" he thought to himself "but everyone must be looking for it too, going to have to play this by ear"
He walked up to the bar and asked the bartender who had been serving out a few drinks "Do you know where I can find a 3 headed Dragon" he asked directing the question at the bartender as he glanced around the large badly lit room, recieving no answer he turned back to the bartender to repeat the question but all that he saw was an untidy heap of clothes.
Suprised but still keen on finding his prize he turned away from the bar to face the dimly lit room, "Hallo there.." he shouted out loud at the dark shapes in the deeper recesses of the room, "Does anyone here know where I can find the 3 headed Dragon", he asked, squinting and looking about the room trying to make out the occupants while waiting for a reply to his question
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"The 3 Headed Dragon, eh? The lair of this great beast has been lost to all but the few brave explorers who searched unceasingly all their short lives. If you wish to know where this beast is, you too must take on the challenge of finding it. But beware: the likes of you cannot take down this beast alone, for it is too powerful. You must do as the other explorers before you did. Make friends of the wenches and use their help to bring it down."
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Pray tell, how do I take
on the challenge of finding it ?
And where do I find said wenches for I have met few and far between in my recent travels dear Sir.
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Wha !! ... Scipio, jumps up out of his chair and almost out of his skin ... where did you suddenly appear from ? .... you startled me
I seek the 3 headed dragon Sire, I have sought the beast for some time now and my enquiries have brought me here
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"I happen to know exactly where the three-headed dragon is, but first you have to tell me what business you have with him," shouted Septim from behind the bar.
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Scipio turned to face the individual behind the bar who had apparently woken up in time to overhear his conversation.
No point in having too many seeking the pize he thought to himself, those 2 hunters probably kept knowledge of the spirit secret.
So unwilling to divulge the exact nature of his quest but wanting to glean as much knowledge of the beast he replied :-
"Ahhh, I merely seek knowledge sire, knowledge that said beast might be able tp provide me - pray tell, what do you know of the beast and where can I find him".
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"It is best not to disturb the beast during its naptime...otherwise he gets cranky. Ask Arvious."
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"Disturbing the beast I cannot do for I know not where it lays its head but thank you, I shall file that bit of information away for future reference. What more can you tell me of the beast and where do I find this Anvious of whom you speak ?"
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*Walk's into the tavern* *Sit's in the corner of the room* "ahhh" *Over hears scipio talking of the Beast* "Eye.....I Have seen this Beast" *Still sat in the corner of the room in the shadow's* "It Was a While back now...When i was a Child......I was making my way home When i heard a mighty BANG.......So i looked up and seen an all mighty fire Blazing through the trees.......I Ran and I Ran untill i neared the edge of the forest where the fire was ablaze.....and i seen two people running from the house" *snifle* "they.....they were both ablaze...Running....Screaming....But..But there was nothing i could do..I....I was just a child....I Tried to guide them to the river about 20 metres away...But when they got there they both just...Fell...They fell into the river...I did my best but they just floated of down stream"
*The candle on the table flickred* *A Tear roled down his face as he leaned back into the shadow*
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"Ay, ay, there now" Scipio said fiegning concern at the emotional outburst, "... must have been quite overwhelming an experience for one so young" he continued soothingly, peering into the gloom to try make out who it was talking and his mind working at a way of sifting out more information " ... What exactly did you see of this beast and have you seen it since" he asked getting excited at all this talk of the beast where before there had been next to nothing, it felt like any moment now he would come face to face with the beast itself. ".... and wherabouts did you say this forest was ?" he continued without waiting to get a reply to his prior questions. Realising he was getting ahead of himself he forced himself to calm down and lowered himself back into the chair he had been sitting in whilst still peering into the gloom in eager anticipation of the replies.
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