Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

man Senturu you need to hurry back man, seems everybody who has played this game awhile is quitting.

yeah man... i only just got 2 know u  : (
don't leave me

LETS throw a leaving party!!

*Emerges from the shadows wearing a grin on her face.*

I guess I will be taking this bar from you while your away... and after that...

*laughs softly.*

'bah... reading the forums will waste my valuable time..'

*Picks up Senturu by the legs*

/swings Senturu into Senturu slapping him round the face

'Yes its possible, don't deny it'

The people around Goldsie open their mouths in protest but Goldsie responds with an ever so witty 'Zip it'

*After being dropped on the floor by Seloc he lays there and an odd sound comes from the floor beneath him, suddenly he is lifted into the air and hovers there. He spins to face Seloc and with an evil grin on his face waves an arm in Selocs direction*

"This is going to be fun, you know, you really shouldn't pick on an elf, especially an elder who has been around as long as I have"

*Lighting flies into Selocs body from the hands and all of a sudden Seloc is sent flying backwards and out of an already broken window*

"That will teach him, now, where was I, oh yes I remember now"

*Hovers over to Smuff and slaps him round the face*

"Actually I have a better idea"

*Positions himself in front of Smuff and begins to spin quite rapidly in mid air, outstretches his arm and as he spins he slaps Smuff round the face*

"This is quite fun actually, but it does begin to make me quite motion sick and rather dizzy"

*two eerie looking green eyes watch the spectacle unfold in front of him from deep within the shadows of the darkest corner of the bar*

"when will these silly humanoids ever learn that there are more effective ways of satisfying someone with slaps"

*sighs a bit and then continues drinking his self-imported carrothian beer*

*Wakes up, looks around...*

- Woot...?

*Looks at the beer tries to drink some from his nose, he passes out again in a uncharted part of the tavern...*

I hereby nominate Lord Senturu!
he's qualified! unquestionable character, sterling references...oh wait. *slaps himself*

*tries to think it over in his head*

If senturu leaves, then senturu cannot be bartender...but then who can we trust if not senturu? Effie would die of alcohol posioning in ten seconds flat, draven's too good looking, erica has just been rejected..

oh yeah huh, I forgot my opinion isn't worth a flying fruitcake. I hereby stand by my decision to have senturu declared non-replaceable and a living national treasure by zeta!

"I second that second motion, Senturu until I get to know him better!!!"

 "YAY SENTURU ALL THE WAY! I still think i should be barkeeper know............."

*walks over and join the small group in the corner of the room."

 "Me"

'Hey if you want a real barkeep that can slap someone silly look no further'

i know im no sentru but am better than that joker seloc

He says as he slams open the bar doors startling all those inside, sentru quickly looks over because of the broken doors.

' al pay for that'

walks in sees seloc readying a funny remark of somekind and reacts straight away, smashing is nose into a pulp with a flaming smack from the door handle which knocks him cold.

*takes over carrothia with his Knights*

booyaa. i have taken your ruinz of solaz and now your homeland of carrothia is mine as well.

so far its between Erica. slayer and sorank

i say we need a  robotic bartending Senturu ;)

*Tiber Septim enters and sits down at a booth

seriously hurry back senturu we'll all miss you :( :( :(

(scientist thanks for the thought tehe, but i don't have any clout here. I think i posted like once before and i can't find. it would've been back in like january. i'm mostly content to lie in the shadows and read what others write.so i know of most peole here but noone knows me tehe. except a few like xiax and uh johnny bacardi both of whom i did kill methinks several times.)
and then there's effie and mielo and telecontar (who prolly doesn't remember me)

anyhow seeing as you're all incredibly talented people (with very stressed lives after all if you didn't you wouldn't be hanging around a tavern)
I vote (with my nonexistant clout) to put Milady Erica in charge of the bar
because that way all of us incredibly good looking people can get FREE DRINKS. (Just remember fellas, that depends on her judgement of who is a 'hunk' which means only draven and effie [becuase of his size] will automatically get free drinks. the rest of us will have to work a little at getting good looking)

Car pulls up outside

'thanks for the lift m8t' can be heard outside

slayer walks in a sheep he bought in wales that was covered in dynamite and throws it in selocs direction

it choses to run stright for him before blowing up and once again removing his nose alsong with burning him badly

(welsh sheep  hate animal bummers as they do that in wales)

(so it was a homing sheep) Slayer walks in and asks for a pint after the comotion

*Looks at Tak after making the remark about free drinks*

"Hey why should Effie get free drinks just because he is shorter than the rest of us. Ok well since Tak doesn't want the position, I either nominate Effie, if he isn't passed out again, or myself, if I'm allowed to do that. However, Senturu, since you will be leaving soon, it would be much appreciated if you would bring me over about twenty of your finest poured drinks.That way whoever does take over from you, I will still have some drinks to last me for the first day that you're away."

*Turns back to the demon*

"So now you think that more may be being awoken soon, that could be troublesome. By any chance, did one of the people in the group look like this?"

*Pulled on a scientists lab coat and put on some glasses*

*Yeah but I pay for mine anyway, and I do believe hat I've paid for quite a bit of Effies largely oversized tab now as well. I was so hoping to be a barkeep, even just for a little bit. Just to have the priviledge of holding that bat that Senturu has to stop people messing about. Just to hold..........ok I think you get the idea now, I think it would be quite fun."

*Looks round at the commontion of an exploding sheep*

"You know you will clean all that up now, explosives are so barbaric, they make such a mess. It is always better to just brutaly attack your target. Now get cleaning, this place needs to be spotless for Senturus going away party, which is a secret so don't say anything to anyone. Shhh"

*Turns back round and looks down at his empty glass longing for it to be full*

*the competing pub wasnt really competing lol i opened it wrote to things and 4t everyone who had wrote in it was boring and being thier barkeep made me feel depressed lol*

*The slayer now missing a nose and covered in many nail imprint holes gets himself up painfully and walks out*

*Seloc then happily thinks hes won*

*5 minutes later slayer stumbles in with a phonenumber 077816253 written down and hands it to tak*

"they do home delivery so dont worry"

"goldsie in relation to me being male i think ud find i am male and have just over 7 inches of manly furry"

*seloc looks over still pleased with himself but the human elf hybrid begins to float, 2 seconds later a blinding light heals him and gives him a rather shiny sword*

"sorry seloc as im a wise hybrid not only is it impossible to kill me but the human side makes me rather viscous at times"

*Slayer returns to the floor and charges at seloc*

WAAAKKK!!!

*seloc seems unfased and continuse drinking, seconds later it pours back out threw the hole in his throat, then seloc falls to the floor and begins to cough and splutter his own blood*

"unlike you seloc it does not take me many strikes to injure someone nor does it take any time, also the blood coming out ur neck will make a sereous mess so get ur golem back in here"

"Nah probably not but it will at least keep me entertained for a little while"

*Drinks one pint down in one*

"I wouldn't say I entered the competition, just thought I would throw my name in for consideration since the option is about. I doubt people would want me as a barkeep, I don't think many people like us Elder elves. People seem to be scared of those who have more power than them........."

*Drinks another one of his pints and continues babbling on about his past battles*

"Back in the day................"

*the slayer now missing and an arm and piece of his neck quite quickly sits on the floor and goes into a translike state sekonds later a rubling is heard and from his hacked stub where his arm was a new arm emerges *

'By this time he had sucessfuly stolen selocs gafa tape and binned it'

"you may of broken my sword but il stil destroy you in battle"

*The Slayer runs up to seloc jumps into the air and................................................................................................................................................................................

.......................................................................

............................................

...................................................KICKS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!

*

"senturu 1 of ur best pint please"

"wow, fire, I shal call it a Molotov, after my late pyro gardener"

no we didnt on purpose geeze shezmu