| Ye Olde Taverne |
*Seloc's body walks over to his head and picks it up, places it ruffly where it should be and used his spare duck tape in his back pocket to reattach it*
"Good as new"
* Seloc then picks up the magical scepter of awwwww........ and ZAPS! slayer with it, shortly after slayer turns into a raccon. Seloc then places the magic scepter where it was and calls for a beer.*
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*stands and tries to drink with the riot gear on* dang shield blocks my drinks ;)
*misses effie* says to the room filled with drunks *drink em down mates, Here's to effie, Here's to Senturu, and here's too Tak (for being so darn cool). then says *last but not least, here's too Scientist and everyone else, let the barkeep battles begin :P*
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*Raises his glass*
"Heres to everyone, and everything"
*Drinks it down in one and turns to Shezmu*
"It was me who brought those people to your lands, completely by accident I might add, they are incredibly hard to kill. Not even he force of an exploding sun could kill them. As for me, I am nigh invincible, I travel from world to world finding people to participate in my experiments. As soon as people start to find out about them and try tracking me down, I destroy the world and everyone on it. Well that was the plan on the last planet but I didn't realise that the suns radiation would cause my wormhole to expand taking in all of the remaining life within a certain radius. Ah well, most are dead now so no harm done, looks like I can do some of my experiments on your homeworld"
*Smiles and evil smile and laughs quite dramatically*
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*waches as tak tries to stay in his spot but he is slowly dragged towards Effie*
hey didnt you say women were only under his influence?
*tak flys and sticks to Effie*
ok odd that. and the beer thing. no Effie would drink it or draven would pop it
and sciencist and shezmu i have taken ruins of solaz :D
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(who is solaz........?)
*Seloc is still waiting upon his order of a drink, takes a seat near scientist.*
"You know what i should be barkeeper after all, Slayer is well slayer and therefore should not perticipate in this competition, Scientist is evil and by no means should be allow the role as barkeeper, Erica hasn't spoken in a awhile, which leaves only me the fun loving human with a nak for winning."
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*Looks at Sorank Seloc sitting next to Scientist*
"my god...it's getting crowded here in the dark corner of the bar...and as for the question...who is solaz..."
*shows a couple of his fangs as he growls a bit*
"Solaz is a ruined city of immense demonic power in the realm of Carrothia..."
*whispers to Scientist*
"If only Senturu knew he is simply used for evil plans, I simply let him take the Ruins of Solaz so that I can do my own bidding there once again after he takes his leave...I really wonder when he leaves like a tree and makes..."
*grins evil after saying that last scentence out loud in the direction of Senturu*
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*Turns to Seloc*
"Now who says I am evil, I merely give common people the chance that they need to let out their evil sides. Whether they do or not is up to them. They don't have to kill people, but they choose to, so therefore it is their own fault. And as for you running the bar while Senturu is away, who has been here longer, eh eh. And if Effie was here right now I'm sure that he would back me when I say, Scientist for Barkeep!!"
*Turns back Shezmu*
"I'm sure he will leave it untouched for your return, I would enjoy it too, who knows how long Carrothia will last with these experiments going on there now. I mean just look at the earth, after too many people started to catch on with what was happening and so the whole place had to be cleansed, and what a better way then to clean it with a dieing suns radiation."
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*slayer now a racoon missing an arm is in serious pain and desteress but as he can easily regenerate due to his elfish magics he does and is still unfortunatly a racoon*
*Now annoid he bites selocs septre thing and when he does he transform ounce again this time into a pig*
bang! Duck Bang Cat Bang!tiger
*he then eats selocs ducktape and due to his new sense he sniffs out and eats all ducktape around before biting a hole in selocs throat and biting the sceptre again turning ito himself and destroying it*
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Lord Senturu,
as you know Effie is Irresistable to both man and woman alike when sober, however as he'd had a few I can easily resist him if I so choose.
(it's resisting Draven that's hard)
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*Seloc creats a rift in time to his duck-tape warehouse pulls out a roll and patches his throat up nicely with it. He then turns on slayer and slays him with a poisoned dart to the heart. (I've wanted to say that for ages........), he then reclaims his seat next to scientist (He fell of when being attacked by slayer) and starts speak to scientist ignore the dead slayer on the ground*
"Funny how all the people you give the chance to be evil, become evil, maybe you should start offering nice, pure people like me...start flashback"
*A flash back of Seloc skipping through a feild of roses is seen by everyone*
"End flashback....They wouldn't turn evil and then you wouldn't have people claiming you were evil"
*turns to demonic shezmu*
"Why would anyone want a ruined city hardly gonna pay taxes or raise an army......."
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*looks weird and stunned at Sorank Seloc*
"dude...did you just put a dart inside that guys neck whilst skipping through a field of roses?!"
*gets slapped in the face by Scientist and is told to snap out of whatever he's in*
"right...ehm...Ruinz of Solaz...well you know it's not exactly the city that is of interest...it's more what lies beneath it, hidden for those who seek knowledge and powers of untold magnitude...hang on...why exactly was I telling you all this?!"
*looks at Scientist*
"what the hell did you put in that last beer you gave me?!"
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*pops out of no where*
Hey Senturu! IM BACK!
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*Turns to Shezmu*
"I didn't give you a beer, did I?!?! HEY! You must of stole one of my precious beers that Senturu gave me, if you want a limited edition Senturu beer then order one. I got these myself, they won't last long and you can only get them while Senturu lasts."
*Turns to look round the room*
"Has it been decided who the barkeep is going to be yet? I still want to have a go with that bat that Senturu keeps with him at all times. Could be good fun."
*Turns back round and drinks another beer*
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*Seloc turns to scientist*
"How about a compromise i get to server drinks you get the bat to destroy any that steal drinks............but it's up to senturu"
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"There has only ever been one barkeep at a time in this establishment and there will always only ever be one. No compromises allowed."
*Walks over to Senturu*
"Sorry but this guy has been asking for this for a while now. Walking around here like he owns the place."
*Picks up Senturus bat and walks over to Seloc. Hits him full swing with the bat round the face. Then walks over to Senturu once more and gives him back the bat*
"There, that felt much better. Now Senturu, you have yet to elaborate on who you have decided to let be the barkeep. Please shed some light on this situation. Or will this be an open bar where people serve themselves."
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*looks next to him and notices Scientist isn't there*
"aaaw where did you go? and what is in this beer I apparently took from you? I just saw that Sorank Seloc guy fly trough the air and hit the wall behind me...though his face was looking all funny and twisted somehow..."
*looks at his empty beerbottle*
"ehm...barkeep? whoever it is at this time...can I have a few more?!"
*collapses and hits the bar fullfrontal with his face, lodging his teeth into it...simply hanging there...*
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*walks over to Shezmu and unhooks him from the edge of the bar, then with one heave trows him onto the couch in the corner*
'Isn't it illegal to give drinks to an intoxicated person, you people make me sick sometimes,'
*Grabs a beer for himself from the bar and drinks it, then hands the empty glass to scientist*
'Hmmm, I'm the only sober one here, I better fix this'
*Grabs a bottle of whiskey and drinks it down, then stumbles over to the couch and collapses on Shezmu*
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*Walks over to Goldsie and hits him round the face with the bottles that were left on the side*
"This bar is still run by Senturu for the time being, no one takes drinks from the bar without him giving them to you."
*Hits him again just for luck. Then walks over to his tray of drinks that Senturu gave him, picks two up and walks over to the couch. Kicks Goldsie onto the floor and sits Shezmu up straight, hands him one of the beers and sits down next to him.*
"Don't worry, I wouldn't deprive you, no one should have to suffer that fate. It appears that I'm the only one with drinks at this moment in time, sounds good to me."
*Drinks his drink and casts a spell on his other drinks on the tray so that no one can touch them at all*
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'Bah, spells will not stop me'
*Summons a vacuum cleaner and sucks the Liqueur from the glasses, then lifts the vacuum above his head letting the Liqueur drain slowly into his mouth. He then steals Scientists boot and throws it into what remains of the beer, poisoning it, forever*
'MMMM, you really need to think these protection ideas through Scientist, now no-one can have a drink'
*Collapses in a heap in the corner of the room*
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*Seloc picks himself up uses duck tape on the worst of his wounds, then starts brutally assulting goldsie body.*
"What did you do that for."
*Once statified goldie is truly dead he truns on scientist and starts pummaling him with a red hot poker he found on the floor.*
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*Goldsie's spirit rises out of his body and then possesses Seloc, he then uses Seloc's body to duck tape the wounds on his own body, he then returns to his own body and continues living*
'Im to old to die'
*Throws Scientists other boot at Seloc*
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*Seloc coming out off possesion, rips all the duck tape of goldie and mauls him again till he is dead he then make himself immune to possesion via magic. And starts attacking scientist.*
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*Looks at Goldsie who is throwing boots around and drinking drinks*
"Firstly, I don't wear boots, those were Shezmus and he is gonna be rather pissed when he finds out what you've done with them. Secondly, you stole drinks from the bar, my drinks are hidden and cannot be found by mere mortals, my elven elder magic is more powerful than you could imagine and nothing you do will reveal the drinks to you. Good luck trying though, anything you try to do will just result in my protection spell taking affect and will replace my drinks with ones from behind the bar, so you're stealing from Senturus bar, man is he gonna kill you."
*Sits back down nest to Shezmu*
"Man your feet must be getting cold."
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*lady erica neatly slices draven in two*
"Oh! woe!" laments Draven "How could you possibly kill one so divine as myself, the merest glimpse of my being induces harmony all around me?"
"I don't see you" intoned Lady Erica as she steps forward into the bar light revealing her eyes were blindfolded.
"hehe" draven chuckles as he is split in half, he regrows until there are two fully formed darvens
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*Goldsie's spirit rises out of his body and then possesses Seloc's boot, he
then uses Seloc's boot to duck tape the wounds on his own body, he then uses his possesion of the boot to make Seloc kick himself in the head, he then
returns to his own body and continues living*
'Im to dead to die'
*Throws Seloc's other boot at Seloc, then makes himself Seloc proof via Magic so that Seloc cannot touch him, he then Duck tapes Seloc to the roof leaving him stranded there*
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*Seloc finally assured scientist has paid for his crime. Turns around and become bored very quickly, until he see's a woman walking around with a blindfold.*
"Yay party games! O can we play musical chairs?"
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*slowly comes to senses with an immense cold feeling on his feet*
"right...who messed about with my shoes?! give them back will ya?! whomever did this...it's NOT funny!!!"
*looks down and tries to wiggle his littlest clawed toe*
"ah man...it aint wiggling! now I'm getting angry! gimme back my shoes this instance!!!"
*notices a few splinters in his mouth*
"hmmm...I've been eating toothpicks once again then?! gawd I must've been drunk"
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........im on fire!!!! I KNOW, ill jump into that vat over there!!!, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BAD IDEA
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"Sorry...about...my...pyro...urges...anybody...have...some...aloe vera...please...i am very...badly...burnt..."
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too busy to read. wont be on long.
i leave it to you guys for barkeep. my net was shut off. :(
also. my recomendation is scientist to take over. at least gor now :D
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"dam nice one scientist, your the new barkeep"
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yay and the whole bar rejoices. cept' Lady erica who is now trying to kill poor defenseless draven
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*Looks over at Erica who is currently strangling Draven with a piece of steel wire that she has wrapped around his neck*
"Erica, I don't mind you strangling him, but could you not kill him, otherwise we will lose out on a most valued customer"
*Turna to the group who Senturu was just talking to*
"Right, since I am a fair man, I will not assume position until it has been decided properly. I call for a vote, each person has one vote each and it is only out of Erica. slayer, sorank and me. This way anyone can get the position. Cast your votes now........."
*Sits down by his sundial counting down a time limit which wasn't specified*
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'I vote you scientist, and get back on the roof Shezmu'
*Raises a glass of his own home brew high into the air to acknowledge Scientist*
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wait scientist. isn't that kinda gory? if we all have to cast votes and then take them out of your, erica's,slayer's and sorank's bodies?
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*Looks over at Tak*
"Yeah I guess it is but still, all in the name of fairness. Now please, choose someone and take it out of 'em"
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*Tiber Septim crawls out the door.
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"Scientist but only because Senturu said so, and also because voting for myself in selfish and just wrong"
*Still waiting on a beer ordered at least 50 posts ago*
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*full beer bottle flies through the window and strikes Mr. Sorank Seloc in the head.
"Thats for not giving me my aloe vera ya jerk!"
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*Seloc recovers quickly and catches the the bottle, then sends a fire ball at tober which hit him in the head igniting him again.*
"So where did you get this bottle?........"
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"You hit my buddy, Tober, and I got it from Lloyde Christmas from Dumb and Dumber, by the way, its leaking all over your clothes."
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*Laughing at Seloc's too slow of reaction to send another fireball Tiber jumps out the window and disappears (to Tales Tavern)
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*stops the leakage then cleans himself*
"Now can i have a real beer...........?"
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*Scientist stands up on the bar, and grabs some bottles.*
"Right, well I guess it looks like I'm the barkeep while Senturu is away, now who wants a drink?"
*Jumps behind the bar and readies himself to pull pints*
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*Wearing a hooded robe, Tiber enters and seats himself.
"Ill have one ale please."
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'Hey Scientist, ill have a beer, this home brew is foul'
*Pull out an ornate whip and whips Tiber Septic (hehehe I'm so witty) out of his seat. Goldsie then takes a seat and smiles at Scientist Kindly and Politely*
'A beer Please, I'm sick of being beaten up round this joint... I'm doing thinks right round here from now on'
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*stands up and walks back the the very dark and scary side of the bar and sits down*
"hmmm...someone got hungry and chewed at the bar then? there's teethmarks everywhere..."
*a pair of green glowing eyes pierce the shadows and stare straight at Scientist, the newly assigned barkeep*
"right...can I have a few pints of beer then mate?! and do you by any chance know where exactly my shoes dissapeared to?! I'm still feeling a bit uncomforatable and cold...not to mention..."
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*Sits down next to goldie*
"ME i want a beer!" (Still)
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*Hands beers out to Seloc, Goldsie and Septim*
"Shezmu, I have no idea who took your shoes or where there are at current, they were thrown round at people. I cannot remember who by but they thought they had thrown my boots, luckily I don't wear boots. Here is a couple of beer glasses to put on your feet instead and here is the drinks you asked for."
*Slides two empty glasses down the bar to the dark corner, soon followed by a couple of drinks*
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