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| Ye Olde Taverne | ||||
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Yay! I dont have to post Septim's memorial even though it was sweet ^_^ | ||||
*punches Gonzo right in the face* "Call me Arvious please." *waits to be god-modded* | ||||
Hey! This is a "non punching Gonzo right in the face" zone! Cant you read!? *Points to a sign above the bar* "Jeez....it is like people are blind these days" | ||||
*Septim pours Charley an ale and slides it to him. Septim then slaps Arvious for not reading the signs and proceeds to put a kick me sign on Arvious's back while he isn't looking. | ||||
*walks around until a fat man walks in and kicks Arvious* *checks to see if it was a shouting zone and saw it was* "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!" *watches a note fall on the ground saying 'KICK ME' and procedes to go outside and stuff the fat mans head in a red ant hill* | ||||
*riverdancing continues* | ||||
*While Charley is sitting at the bar, a kitten walks into the taverne and sits next to him.* "Oooh kitten! I shall name you Mr. Whiskers" *Immediately runs off and clones the cat numerous times* | ||||
*Septim pours Peter a beer. | ||||
*Runs back in with a cat perched on his shoulder* Septim I would like an [[ale]] | ||||
*starts sneezing and sees a cat* "DIE!!!" *puts a gasmask on and throws his knife at the kitty after making sure this was a kitty-killer zone* | ||||
*Septim starts to pour Charley an ale when a knife flies into the tankard, knocking it over. Septim's face improvements and small horns grow from his head. "You...wasted...alcohol!!!" *Septim rips out Arvious' intestines and skips rope with them. | ||||
*suddenly, Arvious's III to V come in and all say in unison* "[[One glass of wine please!" | ||||
*Septim immediately turns and smiles in a happy way. "Right away sirs!" *Septim has Slasher clean up the intestines and the body and take them to SEE, he then pours the two glasses of wine. | ||||
*Arvious IIII sees the other's get wine* "Hey, where's mine?" [[Lol you thought I only said Arvious III and Arvious V.]] | ||||
*Septim remembers the one with the poor Roman numerals and pours him and all the other ones glasses of wine. | ||||
*they all drink it all in unison* Arvious III - "*hic*" Arvious IIII - "Is this red or white wine?" Arvious V - "I agree with Arvious III, *hic*" | ||||
"Not really sure, I'm colorblind, some stupid cloning a-hole made ME colorblind, non of the others are colorblind, but I AM!" | ||||
Arvious III falls over drunk. Arvious IIII - "Wow, that sucks." Arvious V orders another [[wine]]. | ||||
*Septim pours Arvious V a glass of wine and points to Arvious III. "He's a real lightweight eh? One glass of wine and he's down..." *Septim looks at the bottle, it reads "Prank wine bottle, contains a high dose of sedatives." "Errrr..." *Septim looks at Arvious IIII and Arvious V and wonders what the hell kind of immunity they have... | ||||
*Puts up a No Kitty Killing Zone sign* *Sips on an ale* "Septim! A bowl of [[milk]] for Mr. Whiskers here -_-" | ||||
"That hasn't been ordered since Erica was here!!!" *Septim whistles and Slasher the mongoose appears with a mini-shopping cart. "Slasher, we need milk!" *Slasher goes to VU mart and buys some milk, he then comes back and Septim pours it into a bowl. He gives it to Mr. Whiskers. | ||||
Arvious III has a short spasm, then lies there drunk again. Arvious IIII stares around, looking at the place. Arvious V drinks his wine and falls over drunk onto the table. | ||||
*Mr. Whiskers drinks his milk while Charley sips his ale* "Ahh....nothing like a little relaxation in the middle of a war....right Whiskers?" "Meow" "Thats right buddy...its a good thing I can understand cat" | ||||
*Melow walks into the bar hearing his name, and asks* | ||||
"I've met Effie, and I know he used to be a patron...funny guy that Effie...yup..." | ||||
"And what happened to the old fashioned great barfights? Gad I miss the good times, speaking about good times where is the corner bum? Anyways give me beer, whoever the tender is nowaday..." | ||||
There are a few bar...fight...things....mostly it is just Arvious/Plato(or random imbeciles) getting wasted, dead, ect and thrown out the window into the dumpster | ||||
"aw, the bar degenerating that hard? Guess it's time for some 'improvements' I guess" | ||||
"Yes...back when Seloc was here barfights consisted of covering your victim with fecal matter while they're asleep, waiting for it to harden, and drawing funny pictures on the hardened feces...those were the days..." | ||||
"How I remember the days it was always picking on the weaker kind, the kind named Senturu" | ||||
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"Anyone having anything against a nice new load of strippers? The last series looks kinda diseased from you filthy species ... Anyway, Septim should continue tending, I'm just a random alcoholic doing his thing." | ||||
*Mr. Whiskers attacks!* | ||||
*Septim grabs Mr. Whiskers. "No attacking the patrons! Now go play with Slasher..." *Septim puts Mr. Whiskers in a small cardboard box with Slasher and turns back to Mielo. "Now, Butthurt, we don't want a lawsuit, so if you're going to assault somebody sexually, do so while the victim is blindfolded so they don't know where they are..." | ||||
"you crazy, I like it risky ... so you have to do the dew for the price you pay. So where's my beer?" | ||||
*Onex walks in with his pet squirrel Jimmy, who is bleeding from recently being shot in the head* "Man it's a good thing those doctors put that mithril plate in your head, huh Jimmy?" *Jimmy doesn't reply, simply spits on the drunk Arvious* "I think you need a drink to calm your nerves" *walks over to the bar* "Hey, shot of whiskey for the little guy, then just hand me the rest of the bottle." | ||||
*Mielo jumps behind the bar, since septim is doing his disgusting little thing in the little room.* | ||||
*takes bottle of whiskey* "thanks man, where is septim anyways?" *looks around bar in case he's hiding* | ||||
Septim is visiting his father until Sunday..... | ||||
*Griff walks into the middle of the tavern and lets a wet sloppy fart out* "...tee hee..." | ||||
Arvious IIII takes a knife and cuts up Griff, guts him, pulls the eye's out of the sockets, and ships it all to SEE as a gift. | ||||
Knowing our luck he will end up being some well known person who is using another name -_- idk who the hell he is XD | ||||
*Jimmy the squirrel takes another long drink* "I never loved my wife" *he states before he accidentally falls off the bar* "I think that's enough whiskey for you Jimmy." *onex scoops up jimmy and puts him on his shoulder* | ||||
*Septim drops from the ceiling. "HI!" | ||||
*Holds out a glass* | ||||
"Right!" *Septim pours Charley an ale and looks to see Slasher against the wall snoozing. "Slasher! I told you to bartend while I was gone!" *Slasher gets up and begins making mongoose noises. Translation: "Nobody ordered anything!" "Sure!" | ||||
*looks at septim* "I must start checking the ceilings at bars, never know when an enemy might use that." *intrigued by the mongoose noises, Jimmy runs over to Slasher* "Yur no mongooshhh !" *Jimmy begins attacking Slasher, dodging in and out of his shirt and biting him* "Septim, this is Jimmy, my pet squirrel." *he proclaims while extending his bottle of whiskey in Jimmy's direction* *watches Jimmy fight* "At least he hasn't gone for the nuts.... yet" | ||||
*Slasher, growing bored, does a tasmanian devil style spin around Jimmy, shredding the flesh and muscle from the bones and leaving behind a skeleton. "Ummm, Onex, Slasher has a lot of experience in fighting, especially with other critters...he's my only protection against Cobra..." | ||||
"What you don't realize, Septim, is that Jimmy is an undead squirrel, not to mention drunk. He may find a way out of this yet, if not, I know where there's a fore*beep*ll of em'. Some kind of spell that went real wrong." *drinks some more and waits to see what'll happen* | ||||
"Why dooes Jimmy want to fight Slasher anyway? I have *beep*jections, honestly he needs some blood and my counterpart at Septim's Exotic Eats needs some undead squirrel meat..." | ||||
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