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joke!
09:14:05 Jun 15th 07 - Mr. Humblepie:

post mans last day of work after 25 years, so he starts his route early. going from house to house he  is greeted bye  his ppl on the route and they give him gifts, money and cards wishing him the best! as he comes to one house a women answers the door in a robe, and tells him to come inside. he goes in, they head up to her room where see bangs the crap outa him!!! =) afterwards she takes him down stairs and cooks him breakfast, and slips him 5 bucks. post man si like mam  whats this all for. women replys, "i told my husband it was your last day what should we do for u?, he said ' *beep* him give him 5' but breakfast was my idea!"


13:46:57 Jun 15th 07 - Mr. Iwasfrozen:

lol


15:42:59 Jun 15th 07 - Mr. Kongdust:

nice


05:07:11 Jun 16th 07 - Mr. Klondyke:

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is
masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups,male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the
feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(IT GETS BETTER...)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine

("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have got a better model.

The women won naturally.


05:17:35 Jun 16th 07 - Mr. Dwolf:

Both of them were nice, cya all next era, thanks humblepie for your quick response and nice attitude =)

For all of you who know the Anime called "Naruto" comes a yo mamma joke,

Yo mamma is so FAT! even Naruto dosent belive it.

lol I saw it some1 posted it some games forums, cant remember well bye.


06:24:12 Jun 16th 07 - Mr. Klondyke:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on

little Ralphy.   He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little RALPHY says, "Please Miss, I have a question for YOU".

 

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:   One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father?

 

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6",

 

"But that's right!" says his dad.

 

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'"

 

"What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father.

 

"That's what I said!"

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate."

 

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful."

Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*wjob."

   

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.

All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.   He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a p*ss!!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ! "You're an eight, but if you had bigger t*ts, you'd be a TEN!"

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the   same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." 

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." 

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!'"

 

 

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from himsaid, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It   will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." 

Little RALPHY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little RALPHY answered, "No, he minded his own f*cking business."


17:08:43 Jun 16th 07 - Mr. Kassius XX:

lol i like the last 1


17:18:43 Jun 16th 07 - Mr. Iwasfrozen:

more little ralphy

more little ralphy

more little ralphy


03:13:54 Jun 18th 07 - Mr. Dwolf:

Little Ralphy was hella' funny.

Heres some:

9 Things I hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my @$$ when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their @$$es to search their entire room for the TV remote, because they refuse to walk up to the TV and change the channnel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right!!! what good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4.When people say "it's always in the last place you look". Ofcourse it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? who and where are they? Gonna Kick Thei @$$E$!

5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?". No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Dindn,t really give me a choice there, did ya?

7. When something is 'New and inproved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, which got inproved, so its couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does! What can you do thats longer than life?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and some1 asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb @$$? 


04:40:38 Jun 18th 07 - Mr. Thardin:

I'm guilty of #2.  I refuse to use the controls on my TV.


20:34:58 Jun 19th 07 - Mr. Dwolf:

Lazy bastard =P


21:28:16 Jun 21st 07 - Mr. Arthion:

I'm probably the worst at #2 If I can't find the remote I wont watch TV. I'll go do something else. Even after I've searched the entire house for 20 minutes.


17:37:53 Jun 27th 07 - Mr. Animal Reborn:

Im probably No 1 And 2  lol   i now realize how stupid it actually is...   =]


04:36:39 Jul 10th 07 - Mr. Sean Elderson:

More jokes please. I really need a laugh right now. :(


05:15:26 Jul 10th 07 - Sir Tiber Septim II:

HEY! I saw that on funnyjunk.com once, it was funny


03:51:20 Jul 11th 07 - Mr. Revenge:

ok so this one kid wakes up in the morning and says "Mommy! Mommy!" i had a dream that grandma died!" the mother reassures the kid that she just talked to grandma last night and she is fine. That day she gets a call that grandma died in her sleep last night. The next morning the kid wakes up and says "Mommy! Mommy! i had a dream uncle Bob died!" the mother tells the kid that she just talked to uncle Bob last night and he was fine. that day she gets a call that uncle Bob died. The next morning the kid wakes up and says "Mommy! Mommy! i had a dream Daddy died!" So, the dad is careful driving to and from work that day, and he finally gets home and says "It was a hard day at the office." then the wife says " You think your day was hard, the milkman dropped dead on the front porch!"


03:52:40 Jul 11th 07 - Sir Tiber Septim II:

Hahaha!


16:10:15 Jul 11th 07 - Mr. Werrell:

LMAO


02:44:50 Jul 23rd 07 - Mr. Rairox The II:

Many people ask themselves f*cking questions like:

What is a snofab*tch?

Well, There is a snofab*tch,

Two bombsquad men were sitting one in front, one in back. The one in front was Defusing a bomb the other one had a blown up bag and he had his had ready to pop it. You'd belive it, the guy with the bag is the first snofab*tch ever.

 

2nd joke:

There were three brothers named Poop, Shut up, and Manners. One day Poop got lost in a forest. So Manners and Shut up Went looking for him. Manners had to take a dump, so he went home to go to the bathroom. Shut up kept looking for Poop. A Police Officer saw him and ran up to him.

"You look lost, son. What are you looking for?"

"Poop"

"What are you looking for?"

"Poop"

"Young Child! What is your name?"

"Shut up"

"What's your name?"

"Shut up"

"Young child! Where are your manners?!"

"In the Bathroom"

 

 

3rd Joke:

Three men were at the top of a cliff. they learned that if they said something before they jumped of the cliff they'd land in that.

The first man said "Gold." And he fell in a pile of gold.

The second man said "Silver." And he fell in a pile of silver.

The third man ran up and he triped over a rock and said "Oh Crap!" And he fell into a pile of SH*T.


18:38:15 Jul 26th 07 - Sir Gaius Septim:

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him.

He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.

He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.

He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

"Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus.

"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.

 

You might be a redneck if your house is mobile and the six cars in your front 
yard are not.      
You might be a redneck if you have more than one living relative named after a 
southern civil war general.      

 

 


19:10:59 Jul 26th 07 - Mr. Bezza:

rairox iv heard a joke very simalar to your second one but it goes like this.

 

there are 3 young boys : sh*t,  f*ck you and manners.

one day sh*t falls over and badly hurts him self, while manners goes to pick up sh*t, f*ck you goes looking for help and bumps into a police officer .

f*ck you says: please sir you have to help me!

the officer says:ok, whats your name boy?

f*ck you replys : f*ck you.

the officer says : were are your manners!!!!!

f*ck you replies:  round the corner picking up sh*t

 

also to anser #9 for dwolf

"what can you do thats longer than life?"

you can be dead.

   

 


01:26:27 Jul 27th 07 - Sir Gaius Septim:

A couple made a deal that which ever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact.

Mary ... Mary ....

Is that you Fred ?

Yes, I have come back like we agreed.

What is it like?

Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bath in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty all afternoon Supper-then sex till late at night, Sleep then start all over again.

Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven.

Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Texas .


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