Forums / Roleplaying / Ye Olde Taverne

pokemon? pokemon? so my yu-gi-oh cards are no good in here? damnit

*throws cards on the floor*

*goes back to lonely corner sulking*

*senturu whips out Yu-Gi-Oh cards.*

i challange you to a duel fool

* Efrandor wakes up*

- Ooouuuh, aaaoouh, duel eeyy?

*He passes out again*

*gets up off of the floor, looks around at the bedlam*

damn, forgot to hire that Rock Troll bouncer, better go take care of that now...

yes

darn...i dont have any...now i dont want to play

not that i know of...im a major *beep* to them still  learning how to play

*Mao secretly tapes his whole pokemon deck to Xiax's back*

Hey Mr. Bouncer i hate pokemon too but Xiax over there is a huge fan.

*Mao chuckles as he watches Xiax run around the tavern trying to get away from the giant troll*

*Lithlego, after being cursed by Bonnie Davina to be a fairy in the last era, became an immortal. The only problem is the Tinklebell voice. Wanting to find a cure for the voice (I am a man, for heaven's sake!), he travelled all over the world. It was on one of these travels, he found this taverne*

"Wow, at last a decent taverne for my throat. I have been looking for Nefarious Bar but I can only find this." *Looks around, and found Senturu and Efrandor, and waves to them* "Any good drinks here? Erm what? Pikachu's Shockwave? I'll have that."

*He stares at the rock troll, mumbles something and the rock troll begins to shrink with every step it takes.*

Hmmm a threat how intresting. Dont think that was the only trick i had up my sleeve.

*Goes and steals Xiax drink*

Hahahahahaha

* Efrandor is up to his golf shoe fetish again. I wonder where was the last pair I found for him?*

* Seeing that Efrandor is asleep, I decided to steal Senturu's spoons and put them in Efrandor's hands *

- Eeuuuh? *snurff snurff*

*wakes up, planing to take some of the beer he has left but finds himself incapable seeing he has spoons in his hands.*

- Hello...      Now where did you guys come from?

*Take some ropes and tie them on his feets*

- Great, this will do..    Well HELLO!!   Where did you come from little gir-WOOHAAA!!!??? Where did you get you're third sister in the middle from!?

- Hmhm, Lithlego, is it safe here?

"Efrandor, Chairman Mao stole your drink just now. Yes it is safe, unless you have also taken the Dwarf body-warts from Lord Drakos as well."

*stares at Efrandor*

"Danm that is one ugly bastard.... Ugghh.... I don't even want to imagince what hes going to do with spoons and dwarf body-parts in the toilet...."

*Brings out my arrow-shooter_2000 with the ability to see through toilet walls, fire away a sleeping arrow against Karac hitting him in the leg, walks to his sleeping body with the pants down and starts dragging Karac to Xiax*

- You're welcome this one is for free.

*Goes back to the toilet, stops, takes up the pants and start walking again*

- From now on, call me...   Mr. Watercloset, it reminds me of my aunt.

*Happy as a cow Efrandor reaches for the toiletpaper and..   well, he...   does what...  you know when small children or chickens are hungry and they..   anyway, he starts feeling abit dissy*

- Hello there, what's this?

*Looks on the toilet paper*

- Well well well, looks like someone put some sleepilydopeli on my backpaper..

*Efrandor stumbles out to the main room, looking out to the crowd after Karacs face*

- AHA! Karac, wii too gotta tak quik, wohooo, hey, easy, 'snourrf snourrf'

*'POFF', Efrandor falls to the ground landing at Karacs feets, doing some lovely mouthwaterfall just for the show.*

*Mao slowly takes Karacs thumb out of his mouth than puts sour warheads on it and sticks it back in his mouth*

Hehehehe look at his cheeks they are all sucked in like in the picture

*Woked up by the first blow, Efrandor slowly get's up scared, but when he notice that Karac is gone he can start listen to Venomz yelling instead.*

- Whos gonna blow!?  Whos gonna blow!½?#%??

*Notice the threebreasted lady getting bigger and bigger, and even a fourth breast growing in the forhead*

- Oh damn...

*BOOOM!!!!  Efrandor goes blind and short by the big blow and yells at the bartender to tell Karac that he needs his spoons back to be able to eat his wine*

- Could I also ahve another beer?

Pickle. Just thought it might start something again =P

*trips xiax, xiax flys through the air and hits the bar*

have a nice trip

*starts laughing hystaricly. then passes out*

*Eyes Karac sideways suspiciously*

*Puts down the pickle he was going to eat and backs away from it*

*Slowly places explosives around the pickle and Karac*

*Xiax takes out his trust flamethrower and sends Karac up in flames*

*Takes a bite of the pickle*

"Woah, this is like that time I drank too much ale...."

*After being out on some adventures including apples, elks and a drunken gnome Efrandor steps back into the tavern looking for ale and chicks, he finds...    fire.*

- Mr. Honor, stop feeling sad about you'reself all the time, noone digs that, especially not the chicks.

*Slowly puts out the fire on Honor and throws away the rest of Karac in to a trashcan filled with water, apples and a past out gnome*

- Sleep tight Karac, I'll wake you in the morning...     Now! Where are those beers of mine!?

*A sad looking elk with panties steps in from the door carrying two beers*

- aah, wonderful.

The tale of the past out gnome.

A very long time ago, much longer then most of us here on VU can remember, a little gnome was born, he's parents decided to call him simply and clever enough, Gnome.

Our little gnome grew up fast becoming almost 30 centimeters tall and was in short time a known warrior in Munckhin Land, were he used to live.

One day the guardtower started blowing and the mumckins and the gnome understood that war was on it's way, Gnome didn't want to leave he's birthplace but the inhabitants insistead that he was the only one able to defeat the wicked with of the west, and so, the morning after the blowing in the guardtower our little gnome went through the gates of the wall without even needing to open it(He has lvl9 magic you see) and followed the yellow brick road to the shadow in the west.

After a long and tiresome journey our little gnome came to a forest there he was attacked by some strange looking monkeys with wings and taken to another planet(!), scared as he was Gnome tooked up his fathers sword and cut off the finger on one of the monkeys, the monkeys got scared and turned to dust.

- haha. Laughed Gnome out loud, now how the hell do I get back to Mumchkin land?

But just before Gnome had tought the tought done he started to hear some odd music playing a mile or two away.

Tomorrow is another day
the cats are out to play, to play
that old rusty spaceship wants to sail
into the milky way again
on a river of red red wine

- Coooool, it's the Cat Empire playing, thought Gnome to himself and started walking.

Before he had taking his first step he got knocked out by a apple and fell to the ground, just as he falled to the ground he saw a crasy elk running past him with some weird panties on him and then he past out..

When waking up he found himself in a barrel looking at a drunk gnome.

- WTF!?

Just then a long small man steps up the our gnome opens his mouth and puts in a apple.

- WTF!?

- There there, no worries, you can call me Efrandor, but I prefer The Phantom, listen, I gotta go, need to get some beer, you're gnome friend here has drunken up all of mine, just stay put.

- WTF!?

Scared to death the gnome passes out just as a piece of burning wood came flowing to his barrel.

Strangely is, that when Gnome wooked up years from that day he couldn't get out the word pickle form his mind and started a pickle farm, and as far as I know he is still running it with a elk with panties and a drunken gnome.

THE END

*tear*

"It is so beautiful.."

Ooops, two too many i guess