Forums / Roleplaying / RP not so good?

Well I sent this RP off to several members of an enemy Kd shortly after our KD busted a blocker and invaded. I assumed that rp to others should be in character about events within your particular world to get points. Evidentally the message pissed a few of the members off which is a shame as it wasn't really meant to insult etc lol.
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Kegstand Troll! I bring smash and make zug zug wif you women rawwr! Me chief of Zambuca and you not pay me for land you take. Me own all this you see... MY HOME, MY Mouteens! You take not ask and so me send DOOM! You passer send many beerz and women we trolls maybe not make BOOM! If deal me made you make signal wif fire 3 big rings 3 small ones no rings no sleep for joo!

AWWWOOOOOO ZUG ZUG!
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I guess it didn't get any rp votes as it pissed the peeps off i sent it to which is a shame because I personally thought it was abrilliant rp considering my toon is troll this era and well, trolls are the lowest on the food chain when it comes to brains.

Anyhoo, I got a kick out of it when I was writing it and thought I would share lol.

ye i member i got an rp message once asking for an alliance lol. I thought he had a screw loose or something.

Are you a citizen of your land or someone else?

You have to be a mod to give points :-)  You can mark it as good though XD

I probably would...in my first era there was someone named Mr. Tinner Skullcrush and he sent the funniest messages to me.  They would be delivered along with animal skins and he spoke rediculously.  He spoke like that on the forums too except in very rare times...it is good work in my opinion...he got into his role well

I ment acting as if I was talking with my people, pesants, knights... Like this:

One fine afternoon, a faithfull knight entered the citadel running and shouting, "Here come ye Oblivione! To arms, men, To arms!" The next thing I knew I was suited in armor at the head of a column of badly battered knights retreating from the city, my blade covered in orc blood, and pesants running behind me. I could not belive it, the throne had ended, the land was ruined, they had taken the city... "Sir, we are going to retreat to our colony in the core." said my second-in-command. "Aye," I said, "we shall build up again and charge forthward into battle."

Months passed, then one lonely night, a lonesome knight rode in. He bore a crown on his head. His name was Samulis the Magnificent, back to save the land once again. I said to them, I would never rest untill the city was safe forever.