Ask Fizban

Ask Fizban
17:29:57 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: High up on top of a mountain range, an old man is currently sleeping under a tree. It is said, that if you climb up on top of this mountain, you can ask this wise old man any one question and he will give you the answer, however if you want to ask another question you must climb the mountain once again. Come now, and seek the answers to life's greatest mysteries.
18:27:47 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Jibbymaster: i ask with my knees all scraped up thanx to the mountain "why is the sky" (Edited by Mr. Jibbymaster 3/14/2007 6:28:19 PM)
18:44:44 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: Why is the sky... what? Why is the sky there? Why is the sky blue? Why is stuff always falling down from the sky and getting on my hat? Personally, I think that the sky is there to focus the light of the sun Juuuuuuust enough so that it will always shine in my eyes when I'm trying to take a nap! Or as a side effect, to make sure all of the heat from the sun's rays gets me so I'm melting with sweat, waking me up and making me cranky! Go forth young one! Next question!
18:50:37 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Balloon: Flies with the wind up to the top of the mountain What is the most useless sport there is?
19:10:53 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: There have been many theories about what the most 'useless' sport in the world is. I, personally, could make arguments for about any sport you want to think of. Some people would think that tennis is a bad sport, and then I tell them to check out the yelling girls with tennis skirts. That shuts up all the guys and lesbians. Then again, some people would think that golf is a useless sport, and to them I will say, 'Not true!' Have you ever played one of those artillery games? Yes, I know golf doesn't have explosive rounds you can lob into a wind, just a puny little ball but it's pretty much the same. Besides, all sorts of shady business deals go on in a golf game anyways, so there's a point to it. Above all, the most useless sport is probably anything remotely related to NASCAR. My word people! How can you call it a sport where you're strapped into a metal can which may as well be a ad on wheels, with no air conditioning, going at 200 miles per hour. 'But Fizban', you ask, 'at least they're going fast right?'. Yeah, but you don't see street racers that have cars going as fast as them, but much shinier, with air conditioning and even XBox 360s in there saying that they're playing a sport. It's good fun, but no sport. Now take your gas guzzling entertainment, and get out of my sight! Next question!
21:33:56 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Senturu: after reaching the top of the mountain senturu pulls out a flag i claim this mountain in the name of US........hey who are you? your that weird old guy who answers questions aint ya? ok heres my question, before the end of my life will i ever be accepted into lgc?
21:37:23 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Warlo: moves his army on top of the hill to ask the wise man what will happend with my eastern campaign o great lord of knowledge
22:21:41 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Salamon: flaps to the top of the mountain Oooooo....Wise Man Brain. Why did god make me like this? a fish and espically a salmon? gulps and flaps more
22:25:18 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Kalais: well hey i can answer that.Ull kick our bleep!!mainly because noone in my KD seems to want to stop u guys so yeah..... srry "oh great one" but i knew the answer already and couldnt help answering. ;p
23:59:30 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: "In the name of the mighty Duchy of Naergothrendar, I claim this mountain! You, oh wise man, can stay. I will even build you a veeerrryyy nice cabin. With AC, an indoor pool, a refrigerator that's always full, a self-defense mechanism, etc." Points at American flag "What is that doing there!!!?!??!" Fries flag, then watches as his mages start building Brain's cabin "Now wise man, who will retain ownership of this mountain? The Duchy of Naergothrendar or the rather pathetic USA???"
00:01:01 Mar 15th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: "Oh great one, I ask you another question, would you have my mages take all the effects obeeping from your person???" Makes sure that the fence and tollgate are properly placed around the mountain while waiting for answer
00:18:57 Mar 15th 07 - Sir Arzun: Arzzun makes his way up the giant mountain with a few companions and when he reaches the summit looks upon the old man. "Hello old one, why do you not reveal yourself as the War God Paladine? Instead you hide as an old forgetful man with a fireball spell."
02:41:53 Mar 15th 07 - Sir Brain: SO many questions! And wait one second! walks over to Senturu Who says I can't do my fireball spell right?! Just watch this! Fizban pulls out his magic book and starts muttering fireball. Then waving his hands in mystical motion he yells out FIREBALL! Suddenly a column of fire falls from the sky and lands on the Plastic Surgeon. Somehow 'flamestrike' was casted instead See there? My target was put on fire, and that's good enough. Anyways... questions! Senturu - Listen here young one, for I forsee a time in the future in which a Legacy member snaps and has a psychotic episode and over half of the number is slain, and a half of that half is burnt to a crisp. I don't know why it would happen, perhaps stress, or a moodswing from Swifty or Quiet. But know, that at that time, you WILL be joining Legacy. Now let's see here.. who was next... Oh yes! Tree - Stop getting in my way when I want to walk somewhere! I can't go anywhere on this mountain without some tree getting in my way. Anyways.. Warlo - Unless Vendetta has to leave Fantasia for real life reasons once more, then I forsee a great conquest in your future. However, be sure to leave an offering in a temple of Paladine. Otherwise he'll get really mad and start raining fire on your armies. Fizban looks around those on his mountain top, and then his hat falls over his head I'M BLIND!!!! HELP!! (I'll answer the other questions in a bit, or at some point tommorrow. I just came back from a jam session and my fingers are killing me from my guitar strings. :-P )
20:53:30 Mar 15th 07 - Mr. Andrei The Impaler: Hey Furher Fizban,I have a question for you:Was the Texas Chainsaw massacre for real?
21:41:39 Mar 15th 07 - Mr. Warlo: what will happend if i create a huge army to try to crash the game??
21:46:54 Mar 15th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: looks at the poor blind Fizban "If you ever get to answering my questions, my mage corp can get you a cushion of air to float on!"
00:03:15 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Arzun: "...Raistlin did....." Arzun mumbles.
01:14:33 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: After hours of fumbling around, someone FINALLY moved Fizban's hat back on top of his head (I was waiting for someone else to do it, but I gave up. :-P ) Ah, yes! Much better, I can see again. Anyways, before some mod-type figure came in and tried to alter time so that Plastic Surgeon didn't try and stab me, and Senturu wouldn't make fun of my fireball... which worked out quite well thank you, I was answering questions. Anyways.. Salaman..mon? Whatever- Funny story behind that really. God and I were sitting around getting drunk in the celestial bar, making dares with each other. He dared me that I couldn't create innocent little kleptos that wield whistling slingshots. Well, I manipulated events in the course of my world's history and we had Kender! Quite interesting little fellows, really. Anyways, it was my turn to dare God to do something, and I tried hard, REALLY to come up with something that he couldn't do. Well, in the end I dared him to make a fish that thought, spoke, and typed like a human being. Well, God was kinda drunk and he has a weird sense of humor, so he took some salmon out of the jaws obeeprizzly, and lo and behold, he snapped his fingers and there you were. Well, we REALLY didn't know what to do with a talking, intelligent fish, so we did the only thing we could do.. we convinced you that you were human and made you a VU forum moderator. Worked out pretty well I'd say. Erunion - What the heck are you all doing fighting over my mountain? I mean, the US just came here, and I do like that nice cabin that you're building. Almost looks like it'd be on that thing they show on that newfangled 'television' you young people are always squaking about that shows homes that belong to famous people. However, there's one slight problem with both of your claims. This mountain's already been claimed by some place called, "Brainania". I never heard of the place really, might be one of those former Soviet republics, or what-not. Anyways, it's not like I LIVE on this mountain you know. Fizban then snaps his fingers and a little teleporter comes out of the ground Punch a few buttons on my snap and I'm instantly teleported to the Playboy Mansion, where I hang out with Hugh Hefner, and even get to talk to the other moguls of the industry. Oh yeah, and the women too! I swear, if I were like a few milennia younger.... errr I digress. Neither one of you all will be able to take the mountain for the nation of Brainania cannot be found and they can strike you at will! As for your second question Erunion, I think you need to speak up a bit, I didn't understand it. There's some object in this world called a 'swear filter' and it always screws up my conversations, especially when I'm arguing with that rock over there.
01:26:06 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban dozes off for a second and then looks up, and around and seems startled Wha-? Oh? More people with questions?! Good riddance get off my mountain! The people don't leave, and Fizban sighs. Oh alright, let's get this over with. Arzun - Who's this Paladine guy you're talking about? Besides if I were some big fancy War God, you think that I might not get bored after a while? I mean yeah, I know you get super-flashy powers that would wow, and inspire mortals to worship you and all. I also know that there's the whole immortality thing going for 'em but, come on! Don't you think that you'd get bored after a while? So what's a diety to do? You can only get so drunk at the celestial bar, and all the deities are either related to me, are men, or say they're 'neutral' and swing both ways. (And trust me, goddesses4u.com makes alot of money due to that fact.) So all I'd be left with would be my consort, and lemme tell you, sleep with one woman for an eternity and the lovin' would just get to be old. So, where does one go to get away from it all, or when I need a challenge? Why, here to the mortal world of course. I'm free to act like an beep, and nobody would be the wiser, hey even me because I'd forget everything! Err... what was I saying again? (I know there's more questions, I just need to get a bit more inspiration to answer them. To be continued! And feel free to post more, though I'm making this a rule, everyone has to include some way of how they got up the mountain)
03:13:33 Mar 16th 07 - Mr. Jibbymaster: "Above all, the most useless sport is probably anything remotely related to NASCAR." you know nothing fizban, nothing at all NASCAR is an amazing sport this man is a fraud he is selling you lies and you people believe him. you must all run or he will end up ruining your lifes by telling you another lie and you follow through with it, (Edited by Mr. Jibbymaster 3/16/2007 3:13:49 AM)
07:32:36 Mar 16th 07 - Mr. Warlo: NASCAR is a waste of money
16:27:29 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: takes a moment away from asking questions to address the naysayer Look over there! points at Jibbymaster There is a prime example of the very reason that NASCAR is permitted to exist on this planet. What you see before you is someone who bought the subliminal corporate message of the 'sport'. You see, for spectators to this 'sport', NASCAR is nothing but sitting down and watch cars going around a track for about 3 hours. About the same amount of enjoyment as you'd get from building something for Matchbox cars and watching them go around for that amount of time. Now, the 'kicker' to this though, during this time of watching cars go round and around for hours, you have to see their sponsors logo. Now think on this for a moment, weekly exposure to a 'brand' for a several hour basis on an object going around in circles. Reminds one of hypnosis, or brainwashing, now doesn't it? Now, it's a proven fact that NASCAR fans are loyal to brands that are used in NASCAR, especially if it's the one on 'their' driver. Causing you to go and buy the brand of the product you see on their car. So, not only are you watching a 'sport' with no physical activity, you're buying products that you might not necessarily want because it's stuck on a car you're watching. 'Now Fizban', you may ask, 'I see professional athletes wearing stuff made by Nike or Reebok, am I not buying into a brand that I see on athlete?' Sure you are! However, I've got to ask you this, Nike and Reebok make it their business to make and sell stuff that you'll actually use for stuff that you can actually play. Companies like Office Depot or Lowes sure don't make sporting apparell, and I might've been sleeping through High School, but I sure didn't see any High School NASCAR teams. So that's alright. All in all, NASCAR is pointless, and my point stands. However if you don't believe me, let's bring Webster into this: Sport: (n) physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in I rest my case. Though since sexual activity fell under sports as well, I'm tempted to sponsor the Girls Gone Wild games... hmm.
17:11:41 Mar 16th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: Teleports back up the mountain "Darn it! What do you mean it's owned by brainania!?! With the word filter, I attempted to ask you if you wanted to have all the effects obeeping removed from your person, in exchange for my ownage of this mountain..."
17:12:21 Mar 16th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: beep= of- 1236732 -aging...
10:09:32 Mar 18th 07 - Mr. Plastic Surgeon: i can give you the best face lift ever
14:33:05 Mar 18th 07 - Mr. Viper: If they are like your disasters with the spice girls, no thank you!
14:52:06 Mar 18th 07 - Ms. Pam Granddaughter of Mind: well put Viper
15:13:57 Mar 18th 07 - Duke Balloon: Flies up to the top of the mountain once more.. Why is it, that all sticky threads, except for the Word Association Game that get stickied all become forgotten?
21:57:16 Mar 18th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban wakes up from a nap and answers a random question Balloon - It's unknown as to why these threads get forgotten with time. Some think that once they've been 'stickied' that they've reached some sort of Nirvana and cannot achieve any better 'honor' for their thread. Leaving their creators to go off in serach of new things to do. Other times, people cannot figure out if there's a new post or not, making things very confusing with the loyal thread-followers. Now the REAL crime is when a mod takes it upon his or herself to take a popular thread and do the world a favor by using the sticky command. It's not like the thread's creator asked for it, knowing full well the side-effects of sticky threads. Now, whatever the mod's good intentions are, perhaps one should ask before bestowing a sticky. Otherwise, ask me more questions since I give a long reply for each and every one of them. I've not forgotten about the other ones, I just need to find a way to explain these events in ways that everyone would understand. :-P
17:22:02 Mar 20th 07 - Mr. Plastic Surgeon: is the mod's name salamon the salmon?
17:46:35 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Brain: Hey?! Where'd that voice come from, he sure as heck didn't climb up my mountain! Otherwise, yeah. :-P
18:17:51 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Scientist: Scientist materialises in front of everyone on top of the mountain "I need to know something, it is really really really important" Looks around at everyone who is on top of the mountain and wonders how they all fit "But yeah back to my question......ummm.........what was my question again?"
18:42:17 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban looks at Scientist and nods his head in understanding "I know how you feel Scientist, I forget many important things all of the time. However, don't give up hope! For I know the question that you were going to ask me as well as its answer! The answer is!....... errr....and the question was....hmmm. I'm going to have to think on this one for a moment. I think I'll remember later!"
20:23:53 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Senturu: pushes Scientist off the mountain ahh more room. Great Fizban will i ever take over the world? the real world
20:31:26 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Arzun: Uses on of the gnomes catapaults to reach the top of Mt. Nevermind, and quickly finds Fizban. "Oh great Fizban, will Arma ever be stoped this era, is it truly an arma block or are we all fools?"
19:56:12 Mar 25th 07 - Ms. Pam Granddaughter of Mind: Climbs for a long time and then gets tierd. Hmm. This mountain isn't nice to me. Weird... It bears the name of my great grandmother that General Spunk killed when she still was young and still... Calls for the We Need a Cool Name Squad and orders them to carry her the rest of the way to the top. Phiew! Finally! Oh Great Master Fizbian! Why, o why, does someone order a no foam latte with sweetener? Has the world gone crazy? Is it something I have done? Is there still hope? Please guide me!
23:06:58 Mar 25th 07 - Lord Weirdgrivi The Diplomat: Wanders through the woods, wet to the bone, singing "November Rain", with his hands in his pockets, his head in the ground and a tear in his eye. Climbs the great mountain thinking of jumping from it into nothingness. As he reaches the top, Weirdgrivi sees this old, crazy-like man talking alone. He thinks to himself : " Don't Cry". Walks to the man and holds him in his arms then whispers through his tears : "Why, oh why, old man, can't one have two girlfriends or boyfriends at the same time? Why is the world so cruel?" As he detaches himself from the hug, Weirdgrivi heads for the edge to see the sight of the abyss.
01:25:27 Mar 26th 07 - Mr. The Viking: Why do americans eat pork with honey and chicken nuggets with honey? Weirdgrivi - You can have 2 at a time but you need to be a skilled organized guy
17:40:23 Mar 26th 07 - Ms. Minerva: Why do i... wait thats privet ;-), ok What is the meaning of life, not that fake one you tell everyone, the real one which your not allowed to say by punishment of death.cough
18:40:00 Mar 26th 07 - Sir Fizban: Fizban wakes up from another nap and sees a bunch of questions that he didn't notice before because of stupid stickies! My word people! You ask me all of this stuff in my sleep and expect me to hear you, much less actually answer you?! You kids nowadays. Anyways, fear not! I will now grant you the knowledge that you may or may not deserve. ahem Senturu - No, I'm afraid that you will not be able to take over the real world due to the fact that nothing is actually 'real' here. This is all just a figment of your over-active imagination and when you stop daydreaming, you'll find that you're in yet another world that another figment of your imagination created, and then the cycle continues because as you go through figments, the figments you already passed through will create yet ANOTHER world. In the end, if you ever do break out of that endless cycle, you'll find that the real world is already dominated by one, beep Cheney. I'm sorry you had to hear it from me. Alright, next question comes from Arzun! No, as you clearly saw arma clearly wasn't stopped this era. No, it wasn't an arma block, and YES you all are great fools for actually buying into the lies spewed forth from anyone that is remotely related to V. Now let's see.. next one came from Pam, the famed grandaughter of the famous Mind. Let's see... Fizban seems lost in thought over her question for a moment. My child, you will find, as I have long ago. That people, left to their own devices, are stupid. I cannot stress this to you enough. Back when I was hanging around at the creation of the world, the immortals were bickering over how mortals should look like. Now, bear in mind, I'm taking full credit for my creations. Namely, Keira Knightly and anyone that appears in Playboy, or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. However, I was only in charge of the looks department. See, we were approaching our budget for the creation of the world, and so to save money we sub-contracted out the intelligence portion of the job to some company from Hell. What a mistake! They created an extremely tiny dartboard with a small bullseye. If you hit the bullseye, you'll be incredibly smart, but the further away you are from it, your intelligence lowers exponentially! Well, we didn't realize this until we actually started to populate the world and well.. you see the results nowadays. Anyways, it's not anything you've done, believe me but there's no hope to ending the stupidity of this world, unless you take it upon yourself to exterminate all stupid people.
23:52:26 Mar 26th 07 - Lady Spooky: Wakes up from a VERY long slumber and finds herself on top of a mountain not far away from a strangely familiar (or is it familiarly strange?) old man Hey Fizban. Long time no speak. What's been happening in the world while I've been away? The shortened version if you please.
00:10:20 Mar 27th 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: so this is my immagination? sweet grabs a shotgun and starts shooting people
16:53:57 Mar 27th 07 - Sir Fizban: ahem So let's see here, more questions for me to answer but first! Fizban mutters something and a giant fireball shoots out and consumes Senturu This may be your imagination but shoot people somewhere other than my mountain! It keeps people from asking questions! Anyways, let's see here... Weirdgrivi - Fizban seems to have an instant wardrobe change as he's in his pimp gear. Lowering his shades he eyes the guy. He also starts to sound a bit like Ike Turner Now, now, now, now what kinda inter-personal relationship trouble are you havin' here my brotha? Who SAYS that you can't have more than one girl to ya? Take a look at your brotha Fizban, I'm gettin' more women than I really know what to do with an' that's more than this 2 nonsense you're limitin' yourself to. So where you needed to go, is to the bro who's in the know. Weirdgrivi, there's many possible ways to keep up more than one woman. Cuz let's face it, you'd get bored with on person if you seen her, talked to her, an' spent the night with her, every single day. You need variety! Now, some of the supposed 'playas' like to go out and try and have two women at the same time, however they tries to keep it a secret thinkin' they won't get caught. When in reality, they're just askin' for the female foot rocket to crash straight into their asteroid, if you get what I'm sayin'. So, to keep you from gettin' a new rupture down there, here's my suggestions: A. The Safe Way. Yeah, this is the tried an' true method of the majority of guys. You take a girl out on a date, but you let her know up front that it's just a casual date an' you're not in a relationship just yet. Heck, tell her you're seein' other girls too. Now since you're playin' it safe, you're most likely not gonna get any lovin from this method, and in fact just datin' other women an' blowin' your money on 'em for no return it's just plain stupid! So! B. The 'Dominant' approach. Few men nowadays have the balls to pull this one off. Yet if you're successful, you'll find yourself in many freaky situations especially if you're matched up with the right woman who loves to experiment. mm mm mm. Soon if you find other women and like-minded guys who practice this same method like to let you borrow their gals, you'll be thankin me plenty. However, this approach takes alot of work, an' I won't give all the specifics now. It'll cost ten grand and about 10 weeks of your time. Sooo... C. The Harem Approach. Man, the brothas back in the earlier times had it goin' on, unfortunately you can't pull the same thing off nowadays unless you own your own 'gentleman's' club. Kinda similar in some respects to A & B combined, if you work your ladies enough eventually you'll find several willin' to be part of your own personal harem, and let the fun begin'. So yeah, there ain't no excuse to not have game to hang out with multiple ladies. Now get out there an' get workin' on it. Oh and one more thing. It is never, EVER a good idea to have two boyfriends. Especially if you're a guy yourself. This is Fizban. Peace out.
17:08:30 Mar 27th 07 - Mr. Draven: how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? :)
11:43:31 Apr 2nd 07 - Sir Venomz The Naked: What is the true legacy?
13:45:09 Apr 2nd 07 - Sir Fizban: (Fizban hasn't forgotten about all of you all, I've just been busy @ work. I hope to have a new installment out by today or tommorrow)
13:51:37 Apr 2nd 07 - Ms. Minerva: my question is what is a tootsie pop?
08:13:11 Apr 3rd 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: why havent i been accepted into lgc yet?
09:04:34 Apr 3rd 07 - Ms. Minvera: Why do i keep getting killed even though i do very well i had almost 7k income after 2 days in protection, then as soon as i come out i get killed, Why are half my member on holiday when i get attacked. grabs her sword and cuts off peoples heads ok i feel better now, sorta.
09:08:30 Apr 3rd 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: well my guess is they have better troops than you. :P
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Ask Fizban
17:29:57 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: High up on top of a mountain range, an old man is currently sleeping under a tree. It is said, that if you climb up on top of this mountain, you can ask this wise old man any one question and he will give you the answer, however if you want to ask another question you must climb the mountain once again. Come now, and seek the answers to life's greatest mysteries.
18:27:47 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Jibbymaster: i ask with my knees all scraped up thanx to the mountain "why is the sky" (Edited by Mr. Jibbymaster 3/14/2007 6:28:19 PM)
18:44:44 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: Why is the sky... what? Why is the sky there? Why is the sky blue? Why is stuff always falling down from the sky and getting on my hat? Personally, I think that the sky is there to focus the light of the sun Juuuuuuust enough so that it will always shine in my eyes when I'm trying to take a nap! Or as a side effect, to make sure all of the heat from the sun's rays gets me so I'm melting with sweat, waking me up and making me cranky! Go forth young one! Next question!
18:50:37 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Balloon: Flies with the wind up to the top of the mountain What is the most useless sport there is?
19:10:53 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Brain: There have been many theories about what the most 'useless' sport in the world is. I, personally, could make arguments for about any sport you want to think of. Some people would think that tennis is a bad sport, and then I tell them to check out the yelling girls with tennis skirts. That shuts up all the guys and lesbians. Then again, some people would think that golf is a useless sport, and to them I will say, 'Not true!' Have you ever played one of those artillery games? Yes, I know golf doesn't have explosive rounds you can lob into a wind, just a puny little ball but it's pretty much the same. Besides, all sorts of shady business deals go on in a golf game anyways, so there's a point to it. Above all, the most useless sport is probably anything remotely related to NASCAR. My word people! How can you call it a sport where you're strapped into a metal can which may as well be a ad on wheels, with no air conditioning, going at 200 miles per hour. 'But Fizban', you ask, 'at least they're going fast right?'. Yeah, but you don't see street racers that have cars going as fast as them, but much shinier, with air conditioning and even XBox 360s in there saying that they're playing a sport. It's good fun, but no sport. Now take your gas guzzling entertainment, and get out of my sight! Next question!
21:33:56 Mar 14th 07 - Sir Senturu: after reaching the top of the mountain senturu pulls out a flag i claim this mountain in the name of US........hey who are you? your that weird old guy who answers questions aint ya? ok heres my question, before the end of my life will i ever be accepted into lgc?
21:37:23 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Warlo: moves his army on top of the hill to ask the wise man what will happend with my eastern campaign o great lord of knowledge
22:21:41 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Salamon: flaps to the top of the mountain Oooooo....Wise Man Brain. Why did god make me like this? a fish and espically a salmon? gulps and flaps more
22:25:18 Mar 14th 07 - Mr. Kalais: well hey i can answer that.Ull kick our bleep!!mainly because noone in my KD seems to want to stop u guys so yeah..... srry "oh great one" but i knew the answer already and couldnt help answering. ;p
23:59:30 Mar 14th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: "In the name of the mighty Duchy of Naergothrendar, I claim this mountain! You, oh wise man, can stay. I will even build you a veeerrryyy nice cabin. With AC, an indoor pool, a refrigerator that's always full, a self-defense mechanism, etc." Points at American flag "What is that doing there!!!?!??!" Fries flag, then watches as his mages start building Brain's cabin "Now wise man, who will retain ownership of this mountain? The Duchy of Naergothrendar or the rather pathetic USA???"
00:01:01 Mar 15th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: "Oh great one, I ask you another question, would you have my mages take all the effects obeeping from your person???" Makes sure that the fence and tollgate are properly placed around the mountain while waiting for answer
00:18:57 Mar 15th 07 - Sir Arzun: Arzzun makes his way up the giant mountain with a few companions and when he reaches the summit looks upon the old man. "Hello old one, why do you not reveal yourself as the War God Paladine? Instead you hide as an old forgetful man with a fireball spell."
02:41:53 Mar 15th 07 - Sir Brain: SO many questions! And wait one second! walks over to Senturu Who says I can't do my fireball spell right?! Just watch this! Fizban pulls out his magic book and starts muttering fireball. Then waving his hands in mystical motion he yells out FIREBALL! Suddenly a column of fire falls from the sky and lands on the Plastic Surgeon. Somehow 'flamestrike' was casted instead See there? My target was put on fire, and that's good enough. Anyways... questions! Senturu - Listen here young one, for I forsee a time in the future in which a Legacy member snaps and has a psychotic episode and over half of the number is slain, and a half of that half is burnt to a crisp. I don't know why it would happen, perhaps stress, or a moodswing from Swifty or Quiet. But know, that at that time, you WILL be joining Legacy. Now let's see here.. who was next... Oh yes! Tree - Stop getting in my way when I want to walk somewhere! I can't go anywhere on this mountain without some tree getting in my way. Anyways.. Warlo - Unless Vendetta has to leave Fantasia for real life reasons once more, then I forsee a great conquest in your future. However, be sure to leave an offering in a temple of Paladine. Otherwise he'll get really mad and start raining fire on your armies. Fizban looks around those on his mountain top, and then his hat falls over his head I'M BLIND!!!! HELP!! (I'll answer the other questions in a bit, or at some point tommorrow. I just came back from a jam session and my fingers are killing me from my guitar strings. :-P )
20:53:30 Mar 15th 07 - Mr. Andrei The Impaler: Hey Furher Fizban,I have a question for you:Was the Texas Chainsaw massacre for real?
21:41:39 Mar 15th 07 - Mr. Warlo: what will happend if i create a huge army to try to crash the game??
21:46:54 Mar 15th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: looks at the poor blind Fizban "If you ever get to answering my questions, my mage corp can get you a cushion of air to float on!"
00:03:15 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Arzun: "...Raistlin did....." Arzun mumbles.
01:14:33 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: After hours of fumbling around, someone FINALLY moved Fizban's hat back on top of his head (I was waiting for someone else to do it, but I gave up. :-P ) Ah, yes! Much better, I can see again. Anyways, before some mod-type figure came in and tried to alter time so that Plastic Surgeon didn't try and stab me, and Senturu wouldn't make fun of my fireball... which worked out quite well thank you, I was answering questions. Anyways.. Salaman..mon? Whatever- Funny story behind that really. God and I were sitting around getting drunk in the celestial bar, making dares with each other. He dared me that I couldn't create innocent little kleptos that wield whistling slingshots. Well, I manipulated events in the course of my world's history and we had Kender! Quite interesting little fellows, really. Anyways, it was my turn to dare God to do something, and I tried hard, REALLY to come up with something that he couldn't do. Well, in the end I dared him to make a fish that thought, spoke, and typed like a human being. Well, God was kinda drunk and he has a weird sense of humor, so he took some salmon out of the jaws obeeprizzly, and lo and behold, he snapped his fingers and there you were. Well, we REALLY didn't know what to do with a talking, intelligent fish, so we did the only thing we could do.. we convinced you that you were human and made you a VU forum moderator. Worked out pretty well I'd say. Erunion - What the heck are you all doing fighting over my mountain? I mean, the US just came here, and I do like that nice cabin that you're building. Almost looks like it'd be on that thing they show on that newfangled 'television' you young people are always squaking about that shows homes that belong to famous people. However, there's one slight problem with both of your claims. This mountain's already been claimed by some place called, "Brainania". I never heard of the place really, might be one of those former Soviet republics, or what-not. Anyways, it's not like I LIVE on this mountain you know. Fizban then snaps his fingers and a little teleporter comes out of the ground Punch a few buttons on my snap and I'm instantly teleported to the Playboy Mansion, where I hang out with Hugh Hefner, and even get to talk to the other moguls of the industry. Oh yeah, and the women too! I swear, if I were like a few milennia younger.... errr I digress. Neither one of you all will be able to take the mountain for the nation of Brainania cannot be found and they can strike you at will! As for your second question Erunion, I think you need to speak up a bit, I didn't understand it. There's some object in this world called a 'swear filter' and it always screws up my conversations, especially when I'm arguing with that rock over there.
01:26:06 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban dozes off for a second and then looks up, and around and seems startled Wha-? Oh? More people with questions?! Good riddance get off my mountain! The people don't leave, and Fizban sighs. Oh alright, let's get this over with. Arzun - Who's this Paladine guy you're talking about? Besides if I were some big fancy War God, you think that I might not get bored after a while? I mean yeah, I know you get super-flashy powers that would wow, and inspire mortals to worship you and all. I also know that there's the whole immortality thing going for 'em but, come on! Don't you think that you'd get bored after a while? So what's a diety to do? You can only get so drunk at the celestial bar, and all the deities are either related to me, are men, or say they're 'neutral' and swing both ways. (And trust me, goddesses4u.com makes alot of money due to that fact.) So all I'd be left with would be my consort, and lemme tell you, sleep with one woman for an eternity and the lovin' would just get to be old. So, where does one go to get away from it all, or when I need a challenge? Why, here to the mortal world of course. I'm free to act like an beep, and nobody would be the wiser, hey even me because I'd forget everything! Err... what was I saying again? (I know there's more questions, I just need to get a bit more inspiration to answer them. To be continued! And feel free to post more, though I'm making this a rule, everyone has to include some way of how they got up the mountain)
03:13:33 Mar 16th 07 - Mr. Jibbymaster: "Above all, the most useless sport is probably anything remotely related to NASCAR." you know nothing fizban, nothing at all NASCAR is an amazing sport this man is a fraud he is selling you lies and you people believe him. you must all run or he will end up ruining your lifes by telling you another lie and you follow through with it, (Edited by Mr. Jibbymaster 3/16/2007 3:13:49 AM)
07:32:36 Mar 16th 07 - Mr. Warlo: NASCAR is a waste of money
16:27:29 Mar 16th 07 - Sir Brain: takes a moment away from asking questions to address the naysayer Look over there! points at Jibbymaster There is a prime example of the very reason that NASCAR is permitted to exist on this planet. What you see before you is someone who bought the subliminal corporate message of the 'sport'. You see, for spectators to this 'sport', NASCAR is nothing but sitting down and watch cars going around a track for about 3 hours. About the same amount of enjoyment as you'd get from building something for Matchbox cars and watching them go around for that amount of time. Now, the 'kicker' to this though, during this time of watching cars go round and around for hours, you have to see their sponsors logo. Now think on this for a moment, weekly exposure to a 'brand' for a several hour basis on an object going around in circles. Reminds one of hypnosis, or brainwashing, now doesn't it? Now, it's a proven fact that NASCAR fans are loyal to brands that are used in NASCAR, especially if it's the one on 'their' driver. Causing you to go and buy the brand of the product you see on their car. So, not only are you watching a 'sport' with no physical activity, you're buying products that you might not necessarily want because it's stuck on a car you're watching. 'Now Fizban', you may ask, 'I see professional athletes wearing stuff made by Nike or Reebok, am I not buying into a brand that I see on athlete?' Sure you are! However, I've got to ask you this, Nike and Reebok make it their business to make and sell stuff that you'll actually use for stuff that you can actually play. Companies like Office Depot or Lowes sure don't make sporting apparell, and I might've been sleeping through High School, but I sure didn't see any High School NASCAR teams. So that's alright. All in all, NASCAR is pointless, and my point stands. However if you don't believe me, let's bring Webster into this: Sport: (n) physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in I rest my case. Though since sexual activity fell under sports as well, I'm tempted to sponsor the Girls Gone Wild games... hmm.
17:11:41 Mar 16th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: Teleports back up the mountain "Darn it! What do you mean it's owned by brainania!?! With the word filter, I attempted to ask you if you wanted to have all the effects obeeping removed from your person, in exchange for my ownage of this mountain..."
17:12:21 Mar 16th 07 - Duke Erunion Telcontar: beep= of- 1236732 -aging...
10:09:32 Mar 18th 07 - Mr. Plastic Surgeon: i can give you the best face lift ever
14:33:05 Mar 18th 07 - Mr. Viper: If they are like your disasters with the spice girls, no thank you!
14:52:06 Mar 18th 07 - Ms. Pam Granddaughter of Mind: well put Viper
15:13:57 Mar 18th 07 - Duke Balloon: Flies up to the top of the mountain once more.. Why is it, that all sticky threads, except for the Word Association Game that get stickied all become forgotten?
21:57:16 Mar 18th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban wakes up from a nap and answers a random question Balloon - It's unknown as to why these threads get forgotten with time. Some think that once they've been 'stickied' that they've reached some sort of Nirvana and cannot achieve any better 'honor' for their thread. Leaving their creators to go off in serach of new things to do. Other times, people cannot figure out if there's a new post or not, making things very confusing with the loyal thread-followers. Now the REAL crime is when a mod takes it upon his or herself to take a popular thread and do the world a favor by using the sticky command. It's not like the thread's creator asked for it, knowing full well the side-effects of sticky threads. Now, whatever the mod's good intentions are, perhaps one should ask before bestowing a sticky. Otherwise, ask me more questions since I give a long reply for each and every one of them. I've not forgotten about the other ones, I just need to find a way to explain these events in ways that everyone would understand. :-P
17:22:02 Mar 20th 07 - Mr. Plastic Surgeon: is the mod's name salamon the salmon?
17:46:35 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Brain: Hey?! Where'd that voice come from, he sure as heck didn't climb up my mountain! Otherwise, yeah. :-P
18:17:51 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Scientist: Scientist materialises in front of everyone on top of the mountain "I need to know something, it is really really really important" Looks around at everyone who is on top of the mountain and wonders how they all fit "But yeah back to my question......ummm.........what was my question again?"
18:42:17 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Brain: Fizban looks at Scientist and nods his head in understanding "I know how you feel Scientist, I forget many important things all of the time. However, don't give up hope! For I know the question that you were going to ask me as well as its answer! The answer is!....... errr....and the question was....hmmm. I'm going to have to think on this one for a moment. I think I'll remember later!"
20:23:53 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Senturu: pushes Scientist off the mountain ahh more room. Great Fizban will i ever take over the world? the real world
20:31:26 Mar 20th 07 - Sir Arzun: Uses on of the gnomes catapaults to reach the top of Mt. Nevermind, and quickly finds Fizban. "Oh great Fizban, will Arma ever be stoped this era, is it truly an arma block or are we all fools?"
19:56:12 Mar 25th 07 - Ms. Pam Granddaughter of Mind: Climbs for a long time and then gets tierd. Hmm. This mountain isn't nice to me. Weird... It bears the name of my great grandmother that General Spunk killed when she still was young and still... Calls for the We Need a Cool Name Squad and orders them to carry her the rest of the way to the top. Phiew! Finally! Oh Great Master Fizbian! Why, o why, does someone order a no foam latte with sweetener? Has the world gone crazy? Is it something I have done? Is there still hope? Please guide me!
23:06:58 Mar 25th 07 - Lord Weirdgrivi The Diplomat: Wanders through the woods, wet to the bone, singing "November Rain", with his hands in his pockets, his head in the ground and a tear in his eye. Climbs the great mountain thinking of jumping from it into nothingness. As he reaches the top, Weirdgrivi sees this old, crazy-like man talking alone. He thinks to himself : " Don't Cry". Walks to the man and holds him in his arms then whispers through his tears : "Why, oh why, old man, can't one have two girlfriends or boyfriends at the same time? Why is the world so cruel?" As he detaches himself from the hug, Weirdgrivi heads for the edge to see the sight of the abyss.
01:25:27 Mar 26th 07 - Mr. The Viking: Why do americans eat pork with honey and chicken nuggets with honey? Weirdgrivi - You can have 2 at a time but you need to be a skilled organized guy
17:40:23 Mar 26th 07 - Ms. Minerva: Why do i... wait thats privet ;-), ok What is the meaning of life, not that fake one you tell everyone, the real one which your not allowed to say by punishment of death.cough
18:40:00 Mar 26th 07 - Sir Fizban: Fizban wakes up from another nap and sees a bunch of questions that he didn't notice before because of stupid stickies! My word people! You ask me all of this stuff in my sleep and expect me to hear you, much less actually answer you?! You kids nowadays. Anyways, fear not! I will now grant you the knowledge that you may or may not deserve. ahem Senturu - No, I'm afraid that you will not be able to take over the real world due to the fact that nothing is actually 'real' here. This is all just a figment of your over-active imagination and when you stop daydreaming, you'll find that you're in yet another world that another figment of your imagination created, and then the cycle continues because as you go through figments, the figments you already passed through will create yet ANOTHER world. In the end, if you ever do break out of that endless cycle, you'll find that the real world is already dominated by one, beep Cheney. I'm sorry you had to hear it from me. Alright, next question comes from Arzun! No, as you clearly saw arma clearly wasn't stopped this era. No, it wasn't an arma block, and YES you all are great fools for actually buying into the lies spewed forth from anyone that is remotely related to V. Now let's see.. next one came from Pam, the famed grandaughter of the famous Mind. Let's see... Fizban seems lost in thought over her question for a moment. My child, you will find, as I have long ago. That people, left to their own devices, are stupid. I cannot stress this to you enough. Back when I was hanging around at the creation of the world, the immortals were bickering over how mortals should look like. Now, bear in mind, I'm taking full credit for my creations. Namely, Keira Knightly and anyone that appears in Playboy, or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. However, I was only in charge of the looks department. See, we were approaching our budget for the creation of the world, and so to save money we sub-contracted out the intelligence portion of the job to some company from Hell. What a mistake! They created an extremely tiny dartboard with a small bullseye. If you hit the bullseye, you'll be incredibly smart, but the further away you are from it, your intelligence lowers exponentially! Well, we didn't realize this until we actually started to populate the world and well.. you see the results nowadays. Anyways, it's not anything you've done, believe me but there's no hope to ending the stupidity of this world, unless you take it upon yourself to exterminate all stupid people.
23:52:26 Mar 26th 07 - Lady Spooky: Wakes up from a VERY long slumber and finds herself on top of a mountain not far away from a strangely familiar (or is it familiarly strange?) old man Hey Fizban. Long time no speak. What's been happening in the world while I've been away? The shortened version if you please.
00:10:20 Mar 27th 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: so this is my immagination? sweet grabs a shotgun and starts shooting people
16:53:57 Mar 27th 07 - Sir Fizban: ahem So let's see here, more questions for me to answer but first! Fizban mutters something and a giant fireball shoots out and consumes Senturu This may be your imagination but shoot people somewhere other than my mountain! It keeps people from asking questions! Anyways, let's see here... Weirdgrivi - Fizban seems to have an instant wardrobe change as he's in his pimp gear. Lowering his shades he eyes the guy. He also starts to sound a bit like Ike Turner Now, now, now, now what kinda inter-personal relationship trouble are you havin' here my brotha? Who SAYS that you can't have more than one girl to ya? Take a look at your brotha Fizban, I'm gettin' more women than I really know what to do with an' that's more than this 2 nonsense you're limitin' yourself to. So where you needed to go, is to the bro who's in the know. Weirdgrivi, there's many possible ways to keep up more than one woman. Cuz let's face it, you'd get bored with on person if you seen her, talked to her, an' spent the night with her, every single day. You need variety! Now, some of the supposed 'playas' like to go out and try and have two women at the same time, however they tries to keep it a secret thinkin' they won't get caught. When in reality, they're just askin' for the female foot rocket to crash straight into their asteroid, if you get what I'm sayin'. So, to keep you from gettin' a new rupture down there, here's my suggestions: A. The Safe Way. Yeah, this is the tried an' true method of the majority of guys. You take a girl out on a date, but you let her know up front that it's just a casual date an' you're not in a relationship just yet. Heck, tell her you're seein' other girls too. Now since you're playin' it safe, you're most likely not gonna get any lovin from this method, and in fact just datin' other women an' blowin' your money on 'em for no return it's just plain stupid! So! B. The 'Dominant' approach. Few men nowadays have the balls to pull this one off. Yet if you're successful, you'll find yourself in many freaky situations especially if you're matched up with the right woman who loves to experiment. mm mm mm. Soon if you find other women and like-minded guys who practice this same method like to let you borrow their gals, you'll be thankin me plenty. However, this approach takes alot of work, an' I won't give all the specifics now. It'll cost ten grand and about 10 weeks of your time. Sooo... C. The Harem Approach. Man, the brothas back in the earlier times had it goin' on, unfortunately you can't pull the same thing off nowadays unless you own your own 'gentleman's' club. Kinda similar in some respects to A & B combined, if you work your ladies enough eventually you'll find several willin' to be part of your own personal harem, and let the fun begin'. So yeah, there ain't no excuse to not have game to hang out with multiple ladies. Now get out there an' get workin' on it. Oh and one more thing. It is never, EVER a good idea to have two boyfriends. Especially if you're a guy yourself. This is Fizban. Peace out.
17:08:30 Mar 27th 07 - Mr. Draven: how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? :)
11:43:31 Apr 2nd 07 - Sir Venomz The Naked: What is the true legacy?
13:45:09 Apr 2nd 07 - Sir Fizban: (Fizban hasn't forgotten about all of you all, I've just been busy @ work. I hope to have a new installment out by today or tommorrow)
13:51:37 Apr 2nd 07 - Ms. Minerva: my question is what is a tootsie pop?
08:13:11 Apr 3rd 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: why havent i been accepted into lgc yet?
09:04:34 Apr 3rd 07 - Ms. Minvera: Why do i keep getting killed even though i do very well i had almost 7k income after 2 days in protection, then as soon as i come out i get killed, Why are half my member on holiday when i get attacked. grabs her sword and cuts off peoples heads ok i feel better now, sorta.
09:08:30 Apr 3rd 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru: well my guess is they have better troops than you. :P
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