Forums / The hangaround / Ask Fizban

Ask Fizban
09:11:35 Apr 3rd 07 - Ms. Minvera:

na my kingdom members are crap so when i need help their busy pissing someone else off


21:06:36 Apr 3rd 07 - Mr. Jeffy:

Will I ever win the Lottery???


01:56:05 Apr 4th 07 - Sir Fizban:

Jeffy -

You will win the lottery as soon as you can successfully cast StG 10 times in a row, without a fail.

Senturu -

You aren't in Legacy yet because Quiet hasn't finished with her current set of manwhores. However, if such a time arises, that she's finished with the Lgc boys (and even the secret lovers in Abydos), then we'll bring in fresh meat for her.

Minerva -

A tootsie roll pop is kinda like a....um... perhaps I should discuss this in private?  


08:55:17 Apr 4th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

why? is it dirty? or are you just gonna keep teasing me?... lol


09:27:59 Apr 4th 07 - Mr. Justainius Fontaini:

7k thats terribe u shud hav like atleast 14k


09:35:27 Apr 4th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

lol yeh well i'm only on 3k right now


17:48:51 Apr 4th 07 - Mr. Jeffy:

*Comes back to the top* Will I ever get a wife?


20:10:30 Apr 4th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*smokes his pipe as he thinks for a moment and then starts speaking.*

OH YES! I remembered an old question that must've slipped through my mind at the time, but I'll go ahead and address it at this time. Now, if I remember correctly, the guy asked, "Was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre real?"

Well my boy, I must tell you that it is, indeed, real. Kinda a funny story actually. You see, what happened was that I was hanging around an old Texas town with some guy, and these two women. Well, the guy took out the stuff I normally smoke in my pipe with that grass you kids nowadays call, 'weed'. Man, I tell you, I was thinking up some real crazy stuff.

So the guy was tryin' to convince me how funny it would be to have a really screwed-up lookin' guy run around with a chainsaw and hack people up. As well as other means of torture, like meat hooks and some crap like that. Well, it was either some sick part of my brain that took over, or the drugs, but I just willed into existance a guy like that. My goodness, he went NUTS.

Well, we soon came across these kids that were looking for help after one of the abused girls that my smoking companion had committed suicide along the road. Well, that guy I created hacked 'em up pretty well, but after a while I was getting bored with it, and the drugs were wearing off too, so I slipped the one surviving girl a machete, and she finished him up real good.

Nobody over there knew about the incident. It was covered up with a bit of mind control by yours truly. Then I sold the script idea to Hollywood and made some cash, then the rest is history.


20:53:15 Apr 4th 07 - Duke Sobek:

*Walking true the Fizzy market upon the mountains*

"Oh mighty Fizban ... Can you please explain me the meaning of this mighty button named 'Report'?

and how long will quietone use my secret loving ability?"


03:32:37 Apr 5th 07 - Lord Senturu The Sweet Guru:

*hits sobek.*

dont rub it in dangit


04:08:38 Apr 5th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*Sees Sobek and nods.*

A very deep and important question! And I had already begun studying that question before you even said it. In doing so, I hired a research lackey who literally works for peanuts and looks like some geek you'd beat up in High School. Ah! Here comes Binh now!

*He looks over Binh's compiled information and nods.* Ah according to this, it can either be one of two things. First thing's first, it's possibly a new feature that's given to you that allows you to gain 'reports' on another character's status. As to what's in his or her armies, cities, income, date of birth, SSN (if applicable) and the fact if the person's actually of the gender they're supposed to portray.

The other reason could be that the mods are just to lazy to look through all your posts and would rather get other people to do it for 'em so they can spend more time playin' golf or whatever mods do in their spare time..

Oh! And one more thing! Quietone's....err.. appetite is almost insatiable. So you've got nothin' to worry about.


15:16:15 Apr 8th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

*She walks up to fizban while he's not looking, then pokes him and runs away hiding up a tree*, i just though i'd keep the thread going


21:58:48 Apr 8th 07 - Mr. Justainius Fontaini:

just stares at minvera and think wat the hell is she doing and fizban will legacy win it again


14:33:47 Apr 9th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

lol, I'm bored and someone wasn't entertaining me


16:40:16 Apr 9th 07 - Mr. Dos:

Right I have this intruiging question. Every time I go to the market to sell some stone, it's always bought by a Legacy member. Why is it always Legacy members that buy my stone and no one else??? Is this some sort of consipiracy?


16:48:17 Apr 9th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

yeh why is it only guys that buy my stuff as well, mostly you fizban, lol


19:39:18 Apr 9th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*Fizban casts Mordenkainen's crushing fist to drop Dos off the mountain, but then rethinks it and lets the hand bring Dos back up the mountain*

Next time, learn to climb up here young man! Now then, to answer your question, I've decided to bring out my magical crystal ball and give you a glimpse of the lifestyle of an average Legacy player.

*Fizban waves his hands over the crystal ball, and what looks like an advertisement for some country club starts up.*

"Welcome to Team LGC headquarters. Home of the VU elite. Here at Team LGC headquarters, every whim is catered to you. From exotic food and drink... *pictures of Draiken shown eating Baklava and drinking wine from the skull of one of his enemies appear* to exotic pleasures.. *Quietone is shown laying on a bed, clothed in only jewels and being massaged by a few Chippendales guys and Oya appear on the ball.* Team LGC headquarters is the place to be.

When members aren't dining or being pleasured, it's easy to find them in the study.. *Fizban's showing reading 'The Art of War'* to the music room for your protection though, we're muting this part.. *The scene shows Ez, Binh and Sezy jamming to terrible music.* Yes, Team Lgc headquarters even has its own stables.. *The scene then shows Hungrier Horse together with another guy, instantly the ball goes blank.*

Oh my! Well, we didn't need to see that, now did we? Anyways, the membership prices for that club are ASTRONOMICAL! Where can an old man come up with that kind of cash? So what did I do? I go out and buy rocks and I paint 'em yellow! That always fools the guys at the gates, and I go on my merry way.

Anyways, now you know why your stone's needed Dos, and keep 'em coming. Else I won't be able to afford my bondage partner over there!


20:25:12 Apr 9th 07 - Mr. Dos:

That gives me an idea! While I'm up here I might as well ask another question ( none of that climbing for me). Where would I be able to purchase some of your yellow paint? It's part of my..ah...paint collection. 


22:46:37 Apr 9th 07 - Mr. Razios:

*Pushes Dos off the mountains and sees him rolling, cut open b a rock and falls on top of Minerva* Ah well that's done. Hows does hungrier horse get out of the stables, into a starbuck's Cafe and ejaculates on people?


16:10:45 Apr 11th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

*climbs up the mountain, which makes her hot and warn out, then slaps Razios hard and pushes him down the mountian and then hugs fizban (while he sleeps)* hehe beat that


19:00:59 Apr 11th 07 - Sir Fizban:

Mr. Dos -

Head to any local hardware store and buy gold spray paint! In fact buy it in bulk and you may get a discount!

Razios -

You must understand that Hungrier Horse is truly a magical, if not 'fantastic', horse and can just about do anything that he sets his mind to. Also, hunger for man lovin' can be a powerful thing. Ask the majority of the Legacy members, and they'll agree with that fact.

Perhaps with old age, Hungrier Horse will lose his will to ejaculate all over people, however if he becomes anything like me in old age, I think he'll only get worse. Apologies in advance.

Next installment, I'll get back to Jeffy's question on if he'll get a wife, and I'll even help him out with his quest!


21:08:50 Apr 11th 07 - Mr. Razios:

Ms. Minvera

Report


4/11/2007 10:10:45 AM

*climbs up the mountain, which makes her hot and warn out, then slaps Razios hard and pushes him down the mountian and then hugs fizban (while he sleeps)* hehe beat that

 

Emphasis on you saying "which makes her hot and warn out". Lol, sounds like your a little tired... wanna take a nap?


23:43:37 Apr 11th 07 - Lord Senturu:

oh great fizban....will quietone ever need a  new manhore?


12:42:35 Apr 12th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

Ohh sleep, that would be nice. *curls up in Razios poket and goes to sleep.*


12:46:09 Apr 12th 07 - Lord Senturu:

*walks over to Razios and takes Minvera out of his pocket and put her in his*

hehehe. what now?


13:59:44 Apr 12th 07 - Mr. EW Its Crusty:

butsex


14:04:54 Apr 12th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

*cuddles senturu* "hi cuddly"


16:36:32 Apr 12th 07 - Mr. Razios:

* takes Minerva ,pushes senturu down the mountain and throws EW its crusty onto senturu*

Don't take her outta my pocket!!!

*pushes a boulder on top both of them*

Yeah now's only Fizban, Minerva, me, Kassius and other StG professionals are allowed up here.


16:51:53 Apr 12th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

hey fizban, can i go back to sleep yet?


17:42:33 Apr 12th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*Waits for serious questions and smites everyone trying to make this a spam thread*


20:01:50 Apr 12th 07 - Lord Argyle:

What is gravity, and is it proven for real that it exsist? what is the oposite of gravity? and what happens if you split a beer-atom?


18:28:14 Apr 13th 07 - Mr. Crash:

Why is Friday the 13th so bad?


18:37:01 Apr 13th 07 - Mr. Sicilious Mash:

i dont know but some women looked at a cat sat on a crack and she died.....

 


19:42:39 Apr 13th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

I can answer that, friday is the 5th day of the week and when it is the 13th day, they add up to get 18, when you devide 18 into three you get 6, 6, 6, which is suposed to be the number of the beast but in numorology (i don't think i spelt it right) it means the evolved, and i don't think i spelt that right, lol. well anyway its an old suprestion like black cats and ladders.

sorry fizban i did your job


19:45:53 Apr 13th 07 - Mr. Dos:

How come they all don't have to climb up here?.....unfair if you ask me.....discrimination against trolls that is.... I don't see you dropping them off the mountain


20:47:01 Apr 13th 07 - Sir Fizban:

Because I've never gotten around to it my dear boy! Besides, I've got to hit them when they don't expect it.

Anyways!

Jeffy! I'm glad you came and asked me whether or not you were going to marry or not. Marriage, is a HIGHLY important step in any person's life. After all, it is at that time when a man (supposedly) ties himself down with sleeping with one woman, and a woman gains the financial security, control, and whatever else she wants.

Yes, that's right, you heard me. Most marriages are like that nowadays, where the guy gets shafted instead of the gal. Most married women use their defining features as a means to control the male, and for the most part, won't even deliver when you do what they want. This is clearly WRONG my friend. Then when you go and find someone else more than willing to take care of your needs, you lose half of your belongings to that leech of a woman that you were with.

You'll find that now, in this most important prime of your life, that you're able to get with as many girls as you want, take them as far along as you want, and then when you're ready (or they're fed up with you), you can just leave them and find another! It's great! There's millions of women in the world, why just settle for one? Still, I do forsee that in the future, you will end up being married. Good luck man, hopefully the ball and chain won't weigh you down too much.

Next installment- Gravity! And my experiments with Argyle.


22:55:54 Apr 13th 07 - Mr. Atreides:

Sorry for taking your role...but I think Friday the 13th is bad because that's the day the Pope (in medieval times) sent out the message to execute every knight in the Order of Templar because of their "questionable" faith...or maybe because they were gaining too much power??......don't tell the Pope I said that...please...


23:22:09 Apr 13th 07 - Mr. Andrei The Mad Farmer:

Yep,I do believe Atreides is correct.I also see that there will be another Friday the 13th in July O.o


00:12:59 Apr 14th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*Fizban takes a moment and dumps Minerva, Atreides and Andrei off the mountain, due to lack of climbing. However, since Minerva was chained up to Fizban's bed, and Fizban didn't send the bed off the mountain, she's spared the fall.*


01:34:40 Apr 14th 07 - Lord Senturu:

*watches as Minerva is chained to Fizbans bed. he goes and cuts the chanes*

your free.


03:08:52 Apr 14th 07 - Mr. Razios:

*Pushes Senturu off the mountain, take out a scythe opens a rift in the dimension which sucks Andrei into the dimension of Balloons and Spoons*

Now those spammers are gone, heres my question. So that's why Templar Knights disappeared in the game... When will the Serenity kingdom come back? I want to see a three way war, between the long lost greats of Serenity, the Legends of Legacy, and the Gods of Abydos.


03:37:24 Apr 14th 07 - Lord Senturu:

I doubt Serenity will come back.


10:30:33 Apr 14th 07 - Mr. Justainius Fontaini:

hey fizban why did you post a racist comment on the forum legacy who are they


16:53:13 Apr 14th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

*curls up in fizbans cloak and disapears*


17:51:32 Apr 14th 07 - Sir Venomz The Naked:

*walks up the mountain and uses an invulnerability potion to get ontop untouched*

Greetings Fizban,

I got a question:  "Why arent bananas straight?"
And why do monkey`s only eat bananas according to the media?

And where did all words come from?

*sits in the waiting room and notices a horse sitting in there for a minute*

< Scratches his head >


20:08:34 Apr 14th 07 - Duke Sobek:

*walks up the mountain*

Greetings Fizban,

I got a question:  "Why is venomz naked?"
And why is Twamao acting like a prick :-( ?

*sits in the waiting room and notices 2 horses sitting in there for a minute*

< Scratches venomz head >


02:51:07 Apr 16th 07 - Sir Arzun:

**Hey! STICKY IT!**

"Oh great Fizban, why is it that Humans are the only race on this boring planet... or are we? Is there another race out there that I have not yet seen or heard of?"


18:25:58 Apr 16th 07 - Sir Fizban:

*Fizban walks into the waiting room that magically appeared on his mountain, takes a cup of coffee and drinks it. Then he looks around and sees all the people and horses in there. He takes a seat among them and starts tapping his feet before asking...*

"Are we waiting on something?"

(Next Ask Fizban will be up by as early as lunchtime today, or as late as Wednesday. I'll try and work in two questions this time.)


18:37:10 Apr 16th 07 - Ms. Minvera:

*reapears on top of his cloak* "why haven't you replied to my msg?"


19:13:53 Apr 16th 07 - Sir Venomz The Naked:

*acts like fizban*

Arzun, that is pretty simple.
There is another race, they are called sp00ns, they got theire own free will.
But they cannot move.
That is why they always ask humans to lift them.
When humans lift them they are actually helping them making the weapon of mass destruction.

"soup"


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