Forums / The hangaround / The Races Explained in Images

The Races Explained in Images
22:41:21 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barney:

(This is obviously a joke {in somewhat poor taste}, I feel like some of the tagless new players on GvE dont know what every race actually does)

I'm starting a very informative 6 part guide on the races intended to be hyper-informative to new players about the playstyles of each race without being overbearing by having walls of text.

The format will be an image followed by sick protips widely agreed upon to be true by 110% of the VU community

I will start with Dwarf:



*Never train a hammerthrower, every era goes super late and Axemen are totally sick units that match up well against armies with AOTD access
*Don't stop farming, you have potential to outfarm every race and therefore are obligated to do so every era
*Your cheap military sciences exist so you can get military 15 shortly after mining 12 at around day 90 of the era
*The Guard tower is not a mine
*Every troop you build could have been a mine
*Your kingdom (Halflings and Orcs especially) exist to serve as a buffer/meatwall for you so you can carry them in the lategame. Watch them die for you, build 10k mine to honor every dead Orc and make sure to time your attack well after Berserker stacks, AM armies, and Nazgul stacks come online.
*Never perform a land drop. It makes sense to build a 5000 gold mine. It's a mine- it prints money!
*You only need to log in every 10 days



23:02:25 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barney:

Part 2: The Elf


*Your are of great value to the kingdom
*Elves are wizardly, their units have MAGE in their names! They have cheap magic sciences and therefore this means that they are objectively the best race to play as a mage.
*Your kingdom is obligated by honor to protect you until you can amass no less than 100k Archmages
*It will take all of your military brilliance to utilize an Archmage stack, they are logistically very difficult to manage and take great deals of strategy to maneuver
*If your kingdom questions your contributions to the cause as you farm for Archamges for lightning speed remind them that you are actually a mage because you have magic science
*There is no other way to play elf other than magic 9 military 6~ builds. It is ridiculous to suggest any other way of playing VU than farming tens of millions of gold in magic/military sciences on a 0 mining science race with no economic advantage
*DP-slanted units like the archer or rider are a useful units. Ponies riders are tiny OP-slanted-bitch-horses
*Your bravery will set an inspiring example to those tasked with protecting you


23:03:49 Dec 24th 14 - Mr. Barney:

To be continued after the holidays.

Let me know what you guys think so far! What races would you like to see explained next?


23:12:30 Dec 24th 14 - Ms. Lampercut:

I was really wondering how to play elf, thanks.


20:36:16 Dec 25th 14 - Mr. Barney:

There are a handful of people reading for serious advice so let me clarify a couple things about Elf and Dwarf before I teach all you fucking noobies out there how to play Troll, a questionable race that I have very limited experience with despite playing VU for so many years, at the Grandmaster Global Elite 420noscope level:

1. As an Elf you lack an economic advantage but you can leverage your magic science openings by doing STG, which requires a minimal investment of magic4, a few thousand warehouses, and 3k-4k~ MUs. This gets you ahead, makes your land-drops better, and makes you less of a useless piece of shit burden to your KD who is farming for a lategame that may never come because at LEAST you are buying your KD's stone and resources from the market.

2. Dwarves should usually always shoot for mining 8-11, generally around 9. If you buy mining 11+ it will only be worth it if the era drags on for a long time or you have a specific plan, and if you don't know the standard science levels for the races than you probably lack either.

3. Dwarf late-midgame timings with hammerthrowers are still very strong if you come in at a time when Halflings who lack exp'd advents are dropping off.

4. There are Elf builds you can do that start being effective before you get magic 9, like magic 8 builds that still make AM into high value units.

5. VU is a game of timings, and in any game where timings are important 'all-ins' where you make yourself as strong as you can at a given time by putting everything into it are extremely effective.

Teaser image for the next update that is coming after the holidays: Part 3, Troll:


20:38:11 Dec 25th 14 - Mr. Barney:

First person to post in this thread can decide if I do Halfling, Orc, or Human after Troll.


20:39:24 Dec 25th 14 - Fordius (Mr. Khorne The Blood God Fordius):

Orc curious what you have to say about them


03:59:09 Dec 26th 14 - Mr. Barny:

It's harder to make fun of the 'good' races in the current version of the game like Halfling/Orc using the format I followed above where I just make fun of the people attracted to certain races (Greedy Dwarves, Cowardly Elves) and the awful weaknesses of certain races when they lack huge weaknesses, but don't worry Fordius- I've thought it over and applied a mere fraction of my limitless genius in order to find a way to present Orc to the unwashed masses who lack the strategic minds of top 2 Fantasia Orcs 'Khorne the Bloodgod' and 'Barny the Barney Barnyyy Barnyy'

I will actually do Orc before Troll when I get home from the holidays because I think it's going to be much more amusing.

I can't do it where I'm staying now because I don't have access to MSPaint- the best image making tool available to professional artisits such as myself.


00:38:55 Dec 30th 14 - Ms. Lampercut:

halfling please thanks 


00:58:27 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

Halfling AND Orc? The two best races? That's a tall order!

I am surprised no one requested Human, which is actually a pretty decent race that people chose to build non-resource bonus rainbow cities in the middle of fields with!


01:00:42 Dec 30th 14 - Djinn Bartimaeus (Mr. Leonitus):

Actually Barney I haven't played Humans is ERA'S lol I mean a VERY long time. I would love to see what you have on them :p


01:09:27 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

I'll get around to this thread again eventually, but in the mean time (WARNING: SARCASM) be sure to train catapults because they are very cost effective(and ALWAYS use the bombard attack because it definately works as intended and never eats your army), NEVER perform a land-drop, rainbow your otherwise amazing sciences, and be sure to underuse your best unit the Swordsman, overuse bad units like Catapult, use niche units like the Archer incorrectly, and do your sciences and builds in a way that doesn't leverage the power of Knights, and most of all: 



Remember guys: It makes PERFECT sense to spend 400+ Million gold to build a 200k city that you could build with 65~ million gold. This is especially true when said city was your only source of non-mining bonus income that you have been building all era long.

If I had to rank the races I would put Human at a very solid rank 3 which is well above average, yet people almost always play the race in such a way that I can expect them to be less useful than Troll players who are generally very useful regardless of their race.

Human players usually fuck up horribly by making classic common mistakes and Troll players usually just mindlessly train armies comprised of good units and contribute to some extent.


01:23:50 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

Human players seem to never actually realize this despite the fact that they see players like Binh mysteriously razing their own cities all the time on Human before building 200ks:

Here's some logic for you:

If you have 66k total land as a Human each building costs about 485~ gold. That means if you have 66k total land in a future 200k you can build 133k land (keep in mind you can only build twice the current land+100 in a city at a time which is why you build them up 1/3 of the way to land-drop) which means you can spend 65~ million gold to build up the 200k to max.

Most Humans tend to have a handful or random worthless cities that they refuse to raze, so they decide it's a smart idea to to have 40k land in non-200k cities and 100k land built in their 200k. When you do this, and people do this ALL THE TIME, you spend like 1040~ gold a land at 140k total land to build up 100k land in the 200k so you spend MUCH MUCH more to build the 200k.

The biggest strength of Human is their tax gold/peasant growth bonuses which can only be exploited using 200ks, as well as their huge ability to land-drop and build a bunch of land for very little cost all at once.


02:02:19 Dec 30th 14 - Sir Moon Knight:

You may as well do Troll, save the best races for last. You have a picture already made. Since Trolls are like the "hardest" race to play, not many ever play Troll. I think there is more dwarf players than Troll players.


05:05:11 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

05:50:12 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

I wish the sutff I posted in the GvE Evil Kingdom's KD forums was visible to Good/Anyone. I explained land-dropping (the technique that is super good to use on Humans) in great detail in a disgusting unreadable wall of text, but someone with way too much time might be interested in reading it.

I feel like I could explain it in a more palatable way in a 2-3 minute recording. Would anyone be interested in that?


05:53:49 Dec 30th 14 - Zephyr (Marquess Hartmut):

people want more pictures!


06:14:24 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

Done, land-drop thread can be found here:


06:28:06 Dec 30th 14 - Mr. Barney:

Friendly Reminder that every single high level mechanic in VU actually makes Halfling a stronger race than it already is but people don't know how to do even some basic high level tricks like peasant management.


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