Welcome friends and Brannigans Law. This is the FM 2013 VU thread. This
year, I am sure what the purpose of this thread will be. It's to talk
*beep* about Brannigan and play a little FM on the side.
So, who are the contenders, you ask?
It's Chester's finest, the Oxford-envying runt from the north, "Stirling work" Danwell Stirlin.
It's
one half of Lou and Andy, he likes to cart around his little [literal]
retarded brother. He likes fat girls and wears chinos. It's Wilber.
Errr.
And yours truly, your ballroom dancing, hair combing womaniser. Swifty Bigclock..
Not involved in this game currently (mainly because they're too poor to afford it):
"Hodor" himself, it's Brannigans "Dumb dumb" Law.
The blood sucking, gormless goth, it's Osiris.
He'll bite your leg off, it's Fordius.
THE LEAGUE? The Portuguese 2nd Divison - South THE TEAM? Casa Pia THE TIME? Now.
My name was cheered from the rafters when I was presented to the dozens
of fans infront of the Estádio Pina Manique. The task was a daunting
one. The club expected mid table safety, in a time of financial
insecurity, and I knew I would have to work hard to avoid the road of
administration that Stirlin was venturing down.
I immediately
terminated Peixinho's loan -- I simply couldn't afford to play £200 a
week for a wank player. These are tough times, if I wanted to waste
money I'd head on down to McDonalds and have Bran flip me a dozen
burgers. I was also very close to terminating Lourenco's loan -- again,
£200 a week, but I felt I might need him at some point.
I only
signed two players in this window. Spectrums apart. One a 39 years old
attacking midfielder, the other 15. Almost like father and son. Or in
the case of most northerners, brother and son. I need to be frugal until
I could offload the shit players and sell them to Chester FC until
then, I've promoted a lot of reserve players and my purse strings are
tight.
I don't want to talk about my league form. But
I did win all but my friendly games in pre season! So in many ways,
I've already won.
There's two ways this post can end, to surmise my season: "FM IS BEING FM" or "I'M THE BEST MANAGER EVER". Brace yourselves.
Unlike Danwell and his kick and rush style of football, my Casa Pia team do play some pretty beautiful stuff and the interchanging and movement is fluid. Unfortunately, the results don't match the eye candy on the pitch. My team has huge morale issues and it's difficult for them to hold a lead.
Rui Santos on the left wing has been an absolute gem for me. He's incisive and has a goal in him [something my strikers seem to lack]. Goncalo is a beast in the centre of midfield, but has severe disciplinary issues and struggles to go a game without getting a card. Fortunately, no reds so far. Just suspensions.
In Jan I was desperate for players with my [already weakened] squad depleted by injuries. I signed a new attacking RB on loan, and the Messiah. Or, alternatively Antonio Alves. Either fits. With long term injuries to half my strikeforce, I was desperate for some firepower. The Messiah netted a brace on his debut and by his third game he had scored 4 goals to become my leading goalscorer [bearing in mind the rest of my team had been playing for half a season already]. The Messiah finished the season with 12 appearances and 9 goals. Notbad.jpg.
With 2 games of the season to go, I was still in the relegation zone, despite the heroics of the Messiah who was single handedly overturning the huge defeceit. The last but one game was against AD Oeiras, a team who were 1 point ahead of me and the difference between relegation and survival. It was a must win game. In the 5th minute, my defence parted like Wilb's mums legs and Oeiras scored. I was devastated. Soon after Alves missed an empty net, with nobody pressing him. I knew how it felt to be northern, it felt so bad. For the next 20 minutes I was penned back, but in the 27th minute I won a corner and Nelson powered a header in at the far post to draw level. Undeserved, probably? SEMEANO. SEMEANO. SORRY. BREAKING CHARACTER FOR A SECOND. SEMEANO HAS JUST FUCKING PUT ME AHEAD. SEMEANO. IM GONNA FUCKING GO CARAZY. FUCK. I GOTTA STAY FOCUSED. DONT CONCEDE NOW. Fuck sake. ALVES ALVES ALVES ALVES ALVES. 2-3. YES YES I YES I LOVE YOU FRIEND, FRIEND!! no. im going to cry. 3-3. game is over. HAHAHAHA OMG.PENALTY IN EXTRA TIME. FUCK SAKE CMON. GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOLLLLLLLLLLL GOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. 3-4!!!!!!!! IM OUT OF THE RELEGATION ZONE WITH 1 GAME TO GO. THE MIRACLE OF ESTADIO MUNICIPAL DE OSEIRAS!
Oh, and in my final game I played the 2nd placed team. Rui scored a total golazo. No luck involved. He saw the keeper off his line and floated it over his head (and my strikers) into the back of the net. Then Alves uhm..dummied the keeper. And uhm. Scored. Won 2-1. Their brilliance:
being the most eager, experienced and enthusiastic i got the ball rolling straight away. it took only a moment to realise the club was the Portuguese version of oxford, perhaps a slight improvement with the four sided ground, much improvment was needed.
an overhaul of the squad saw several players leave for rival clubs to bring in fresh meat for the grinder that was lower league hoof ball, after some hours and several cups of tea i finally managed to capture some unaware decent players, namely the two cristianos my new backbone
the current league campaign
only the team who comes 1st gets promoted, its going to be a long season, the task at hand is harder than swifty on a school bus.
wow swiftor, a meager 35 points? if you spent more time on your tactics than making posts you might have got 36!
but onto more important matters, this proves once again im the top when it comes to FM(and vu)
as you can see defending came very easy to me, attacking... well it appears just like swifty we couldn't even score in a brothel.
once phase one was won we moved the phase two, a league comprising of the 3 league winners all valiantly competing bitterly with each other to win... fuck all
for some strange reason my team through caution to the wind and actually started to score, but the fm gods didn't seem appeased and refused to let me have a team that scores and defends, this short league showed me the highs of a 7-0 away win and the lows of a 5-1 home loss. we ended in a comfortable 2nd place to finish of a great season
much thanks to these guys heros of lisbon
Joao Coito
Cristiano
i also won goal of the season with a 52yard volley but im too lazy to upload
To pass the time a little, me and Stirling McSimster decided to run a head-to-head cup competition. We would both be using our Casa Pia teams. His using vastly superior players from a higher league, mine using vastly superior tactics from the lower league.
How did we get on?
There was a lot of smack talk pre-game from the McSimster camp on how he was going to anihilate my lower league Casa Pia team, but he couldn't because he was poor and he couldn't afford proper internet. But eventually he plucked up the courage and we played.
I set up in the usual 4231 formation -- one that McSimster routinely mocks as being "too defensive". Too defensive, he says. We'll see about that! Danwell played a 451, with 3 central midfielders -- no doubt an attempt to counter my great strategy and stranglehold the midfield. Seeing as my play ressembles Barca [something I'm sure Danwell will attest to, as he drooled at the computer screen as my players passed around him during the game], it's no wonder he played like Chelsea and tried to stifle my play. Poor show, friend.
The game started brightly for me. My star winger and best player, Rui Santos dribbled his way down the left wing in the 9th minute and planted a cross on talisman Pedro Hernandes' head to make it 1-0. Hilarity ensued. For about 5 seconds.
SWIFTY: LMAO Stirlin: lol great defending...
Minutes later however, the mood soured. Stirling, ever the dirty manager, threw into the mix the Leeds style of play. Eagle eyed, he noticed Rui Santos had just set up the goal and was running rings around his defenders, and so decided to hack Rui Santos down. Desperate measures, indeed! Santos was unable to continue and I had to replace him with an out-of-position right winger, Chula.
SWIFTY: fuck off SWIFTY: hes my best player SWIFTY: fuck sake SWIFTY: he set up the goal too Stirlin: take that ya bitch SWIFTY: dirty SWIFTY: so dirty
With my star player off injured, I still was the better team, but in the 29th minute Stirling got a free kick outside my box and a lucky strike saw the ball drift over my goalkeeper and defender on the post and into the back of the net. 1-1, game on.
Minues latter, my centreback Coito came up for a FK and powered in a header to make it 2-1. And shortly before half time Semen-oh delivered to round off a brilliant first half performance. 41 years young, he was amazing all game and his goal defined a great performance from the pensioner. What a beautiful free kick that was. Take a bow son. SWIFTY: OMG SWIFTY: SEMEN OH SWIFTY: remember the name. semen oh
Half time, Stirling went in rattled. He was 3-1 down to a lower division side and unsurprisingly, was being outmanaged by the master tactician, SWIFTY. A manager he routinely mocked for his draws and formations.
The rest of the game isn't really worth describing. Stirlin got some sweaty undeserved goals, injured my other star winger Mane [who had also set up a goal], leaving me with 10 men on the pitch to finish the game out. We drew 3-3, but in many ways I was the victor.
Stirlin: look at match stats SWIFTY: m8 im just looking at the score line SWIFTY: 3-3
this shows a very different match, me totally dominating and my cbs letting me down big time. 3 shots on target 3 goals? wtf bet he hasnt scored 3 in a game all season
one league higher, still semi pro slightly better players one player was injured 90+2 10 men for 2 min 3-3 fluky result, this isnt knockout football, i will prevail
Just to show how big a difference there was in the quality of players at our disposal, I went and checked the total value of each match day squad [including those not valued] and calculated the differences.
Stirlin's match day squad was worth a combined £495,000. Quite a hefty squad there. On average, that works out about at £27,500 per player.
My match day squad was worth a combined £88,000. Or, £5,000 per player on average. It just goes to show the sheer difference in the quality of players at our disposal and makes my feat all the more remarkable.
You don't need to pay top dollars to get the results on the pitch. Just some managerial clout and some words of encouragement for your players, and you're well on your way.
Imagine the beating Stirlin would of taken if I had a evenly matched squad.
Since the last season update, my squad went under a major underhaul in an effort to rebuild the club from top to bottom. Another relegation scrap wasn't acceptable for a team that intended to be going places, so I decided I needed to be ruthless and make changes. I was more active in the summer transfer window than Wilb's mum in a whorehouse, bringing in 10 players and selling 8. The standout transfers were: the signing of a powerful winger-cum-striker called Mane [part of the squad that vanquished Stirlin], Loukima [a black man] and Pedro Henrique, a powerful #9 who led the line.
My season was rather patchy. We started out strongly and occupied the top spot at the start of the season. SWIFTY teams are usually reknowned for their defensive solidity, but Casa Pia struggled to go 2-3 games without a sudden defeat. A strong finish to the campaign with 5 wins from the last 7 games wasn't enough to push Casa Pia into the fight for promotion and we finished 5th. Earlier patchy form in the season had undoubtedly cost SWIFTY's men their deserved spot in a higher league, but it doesn't mar what has otherwise been a productive season for the club, seeing them finish strongly in the league after last years dogged fight for survival.
The star performers of the campaign was top goalscorer Pedro Henrique, who scored 12 goals in 20 league appearances and Rui Santos, who bagged 5 goals and got 13 assists [2nd highest in the league] from the wing.
so onto my first season in a higher league than swiffail and what a glorious one it was, employing quick attacking possession football, unlike my rivals 2 dms and pump to the wings tactic i was able to "come at me bro" alot of the big teams and push to the limit, the people of lisbon, seeing the strapping young manager and his style flooded to the small stadium seeing an avg attendance of over 1000, almost double that of my lower league counterpart.
thanks to bigger crowds and my tactics we flew up the league and finished 6th, yes ladies and gentlemen, 6th a much harder league than the basement and i still finished higher, heres the table, ignore my gd plz
to help me achieve such a prestigious ranking i needed to rip my squad apart and bring in some much needed talent thanks to many loans a decent attendance and a lovely 500k prize money i was no longer in debt and making a small profit i could go out and snort coke off a whores ass.
The financial constraints are starting to take its toll on my side and with a lack of proper transfer targets each season, I struggled to find fresh meat for the grinder. At the end of last season I let go of 14 first team players, but was only able to bring in a handful for this season to replace them.
Without new signings, I was forced to play with only 1 designated right winger, 1 designated AM [an under 18] and 1 centreback all season, often relying on other players to play out of position to make up the numbers. My squad ended up being incredibly small. In a number of games I was forced to play with a back 4 of two left backs and two right backs. It isn't ideal, but unless you sim like Stirlin, there's little else you can do.
Despite the constraints, our season started brightly and we occupied 3rd until the midway point and promotion was very much a possibility. But as is the case with previous installments of FM, as soon a January hit my form inexplicably dropped and I lost 5 games back to back. The morale cracked and we never recovered, finishing 8th and 4 points off last seasons high. FM being FM.
On the flip side, this season saw the first international call up for Casa Pia. Roncaglioni, a youth centreback, made his debut for the Swiss u18s and got a 7.10 rating. I suspect if the transfer difficulties continue much longer, he'll be drafted into the first team squad.
ouch another terrible season, 5th to 8th? your getting worse.
well on the other end of the spectrum, once again where swifty has failed, ive improved
another great season saw the fans flock to the club screaming my name and throwing their underwear at my feet, an above expectation 5th place saw not only successful football but beautiful football, the leaky defence and sterile attack was fixed which saw a sexy +35 GD a feat swifty shall never achieve.
and proof again that i dont sim for mr whine
annnnddd to top it all of i have furthered the gap between me and swiftly considerably more, we are now a Professional club. have fun being semi pro swifty, suck on this
Scored a beaut of a goal. I was 1-0 up but my trousers were down, the opposition was pressing me hard and I had my back to the wall. With the opposition passing the ball around outside my 18 yard box, Ibraime lunged in and cleanly won the ball back for my side. Roncaglioni, my youth centreback [and international, no less] grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck as many footballing greats do and pulled out the spectacular. Noticing that the opposition goalkeeper was off his line, he delicately chipped the GK from just outside my 18 yard box and saw the ball fly into the back of the net to score the goal of the sea..no. The greatest goal of all time.
No wonder the opposition are kicking lumps out of me, with 3 of my players off injured in the first 40 minutes [they must of been taking tips from Stirlings dirty play]. I'm styling all over them.
From the very same game we have another delightful finish, this time from Casa Pia legend.. you know his name by now: Rui Santos. Ibraime is yet again involved, picking out a delightful pass for the winger who again notices the GK off his line and chips him with great composure from outside the box.
If Stirling McSimster tried to get his team to perform such magic, the balls would probably end up being hoofed out of the stadium.
Theres 3 bottom divisions, and yet somehow I find myself with the Sporting Lisbon and Porto B teams grouped here. Just played the SL team and these are but a few of the players they fielded:
and just for context, this is my best players stats:
I aim to please Swifty. Your thread was a bit quiet and well, we can't let all the effort you and Stirlin put into it go to waste with a lack of participation from the other VU players eh, ;)
And the best way to make this thread more relevant to the rest of us is to make the morals of the stories relatable to VU :P
Usual story on the league front. Spent most of the season third behind the usual suspects, go through a bad run of form in January [FM being FM? Say it isn't so!] and don't recover.
Slipped down to 6th.
Due to the financial constaints, my squad is mainly made up of either pensioners or players from my youth team.
Apologies for lack of content + mostly pics. I cba. Plus, alot of history pics, as I accidently started a new season by mistake, so had to venture into the history sections.
Casa Pia. Little was known about the club when Josh Reed was recruited as the new manager. Little too, was known about Josh Reed, the ex Sunday League Footballer. What shocking revelations would be found out about both of the unknowns? Well, I'll tell you:
Casa Pia Atlético Clube is a club in Lisbon. It is named after the Portugese Casa Pia Children's Charity, where, the club received alot of their "talent." The charity consists of 10 schools throughout Portugal, with 4500 students, some of whom are deaf/mute. Here's hoping some of the players aren't these.
At the start of the season, Casa Pia was plagued with a heavy wage total and a low wage budget. The attempt to get rid of several players ended in disaster, like a bad case of gonorrhea (as Swifty can inform you), they were impossible to get rid of. However, Josh Reed was desperate to bring in some badly needed talent. With the lack of wingers early season, Josh Reed quickly took to playing a 4312 system, with no wide midfielders.
With this slim formation, pumping it to the wings was out of the
question. Instead, two new tactics were drilled into the players. The
first, a low tier favourite, the "long ball" tactic. The second, playing
possession in the tight centre, and allowing star fullbacks, Zinho and
Rica (to be seen later) to make runs forward, and use their pinpoint accuracy to cross.
The latter was the most effective and nearly every goal that was scored, came via Rica and Zinho's runs.
The first fresh talent Josh Reed brought in, was old man Rica. Experience aplenty. A veteran of 2nd tier football, surely he could wipe the floor with his opponents in the 3rd tier?
Yes, yes he could. He instantly became a Casa Pia favourite. Playing nearly every game the season could throw at him. Along he way he earned the Casa captaincy and became one of the central and pivotal players in the Casa attack. He finished the season on a massive average rating in the league, of 7.58. Proving every game he played, he had a good impact on, and as a result, he became Casa Pia's fan's player of the year!
The next newbie in Josh Reed's Casa lineup, was the messiah himself. Antonio Alves. Clearly Josh Reed and James Moore's scouts had the same info on this guy, as he proved to be a wonderful transfer.
As you can see, in 29 games, he scored 22 goals and provided 6 assists. Such a prolific goalscorer, Casa surely had never seen! He finished the season, unfortunately with a long term injury. But he picked up the runner up award for the amount of goals scored! With a fantastic average league rating of 7.46.
Speaking of form...
The third addition to the squad, was another talented and experienced player, Mario Sergio. He too proved to be an important part of the new line-up and proved that experience is as good as youthful energy. The highlight of his year definately came in the cup, where, in 4 games, he scored 3 times and provided 3 assists.
The final addition to the squad, came mid season, as a much needed AMC was needed. Step up Alhandra.
So let's see how Reed's Casa Pia ended up?
An unbelievable victory for Reed. The amount of points he gained would of given him promotion in both Danwell and Moore's first seasons. Things are going UPUPUP from here!
This is a tale of triumph and tragedies. A tale of highs and lows. A tale of SWIFTY'S and Coxy's. A tale of FM bending me over and FMing me in ways only FM knows how.
Top of the league for the majority of the season with the 2 top league goalscorers in my side. 21 wins and only 2 losses midway through and an 11 game unbeaten run. Results like 10-1 wins away from home and over 50 goals scored before January. Djaniny had 20 games, 20 goals and 7 assists to his name until they took my Djaniny away from me. Injured and sidelined for 2-3 months with the end of the season near, my team instantly fell apart going 4 games without a single win in the immediate aftermath. Then FC Barreireinsee overtook me. 2 points. 5. 7. 10. Game over. The dreams of millions of children world wide dashed. In Danwell and Reeds seasons where they got promoted with 59 points, I got 62 and a surging FC Barreireinsee finished on 74. Fuck my life. FM being FM.
League
League stats
Djaniny stats:
Walder stats:
In other news, I'm glad to announce those pricks in the Porto B team got relegated. After finishing 4 points off the top last season, they moved all their players back to the main team, leaving the B team with fuck all. And they promptly got relegated. Won't be seeing their smug faces anymore.
My wage budget has been slashed from 3.1k to 2.5k. Before I couldn't sign players. Now I can't even afford to keep the ones I've got.
The end of season awards just came in, which includes all players from the North/Central/South divisions.
Got first and second in player of the year awards [Osorio and Djaniny].
Got first and second in top goalscorers. [Djaniny and Waldir]
Got four of the eleven players in the team of the year. [Coito, Osorio, Djaniny and Waldir].
Got second and third in the top assist makers [Osorio and Grou]
Every cloud has a silver lining, and all that jazz. That probably makes me the best manager in Portugal right now. I'm sure Danwell and Reedle will agree.
Swifty says "FM being FM". Reedle says "Fatties being fitties." Danwell says "Simming being winning." Brannigans Law says "What would you like with your fries, sir?"
A picture says a thousand words.
RIP Alberto Nunes, my sweet pea. Your sacrifice shall never be forgotten.
Following the success of last season, Josh Reed's Casa Pia was in high spirits. What would the dizzing heights of Portugese tier 2 have in store for him?
At the beginning of the season, Reed's men were hit my a wave of bad fortune and ill prepared plans. Alves was out for 3 months. Moises and Santos both returned on their loans. Probably some other scrubs too. This left a massive gap in the team. With the 2 main strikers ruled out/gone off and the #1 keeper returned to his scrub team, Josh Reed had little choice but to look outside.
The results? A massive restructure. GK: Paes. Defence: Andrei Silva Midfielders: Loic Baal, Fernando, Guilherme and Luis Silva Strikers: Carabello and Licinio.
A select few of the new players:
As good as the new selection of players may seem, they didn't all gel to begin with. Especially considering the messiah's long term injury.
However, it soon turned around and Reed's men secured a position in league 2 next season.
Last couple of games were draws.
As a result, ending in 17th place, I was given £208k cash, resulting in the bank balance now being at a massive £18,000. Next season, Reed will not only be looking to avoid relegation, they may be searching for a mid-table finish!?! I'm not like Danwell Reloader Simster, earning a high place in his first season here.
I have with a heavy heart released the Casa Pia legend that is Rui Santos. He's been a main stay in the side since I've taken over and has been used regularly every season, despite having wank stats for a long time now. Many a time I've yelled "Rui Santos" on skype and triumphantly fist pumped a goal or assist of his.
I'll miss you.
I raise my glass to Rui Santos. 2015/2016 fans player of the year.
We've been through it all, my friends [and TBL the lurker].
McDonalds drive-thru.
The pain of near promotion, until Djaniny died.
FM being FM.
Near bankruptcy.
Receivership [basically the above, but I needed to make my escapades seem longer].
And we've never let our heads down, never raised the white flag, never claimed to be Northern, we've come back faster [???] and stronger each season. This one's for you, Casa Pia fans.
One is a short, but simple word.. One can be found or used in a number of situations to convey different meanings:
One - Number one. Represents the top spot, the position SWIFTY's Casa Pia finished in this season.
One - Sexual encounters. Represents the number of which Reed has had involving a woman.
One - Legitimate games. Represents the number of FM games that Stirlin has probably played without simming this season.
One - A Big Mac. Represents the number on the board that I point to when telling Brannigans Law what I want to order from McDonalds.
Little changed in my team from the one that almost gained promotion last season. Without the funds to buy new players, it was just a matter of holding on to what we had the best I could and promoting youths to the first team.
We lost Altair, Nunes, Jean Silva and Ito from last seasons side, but importantly held onto Captain Coito, Osorio and Grou's services: the bedrock to my Casa Pia brick shithouse. Texeira, the jewel of my midfield for a number of seasons started to demand £400 a week in his new contract negotiations which I couldn't afford. In the Jan transfer window he signed a pre-contract with a higher div club and I subsequently dropped and replaced him for the remainder of the season with an inferior player out of spite. I made you who you were, Jose. Don't you forget that.
Osorio. Look at his chirpy, cheerful face. He's so happy to have me as his manager:
Goal wise the team grew to be less reliant on Waldir and Djaniny, neither of whom managed to hit their heady heights of last season [scoring 16 and 17 goals in the league respectfully]. However, the performances levels through the rest of the team rose and it was a fantastic team effort.
My best 11 this season:
In a 30 game season we lost 1 game. Yes, sit back. Close that shocked, gaping, mouth. Wipe the sweat from your brow. You read that correctly first time around. SWIFTY's men lost 1 league game all season -- and that was only a 1-0 loss away from home after I had 2 key players taken off injured.
We made it to the 5th round of the Portuguese cup, the furthest that any lower division club made it this year. The title was secured with 5 games to go but I didn't do a Danwell and take a break or rest on my laurels. That's right, I didn't sim. I played out the remaining fixtures and we were crowned champions. Bow in the presence of greatness.
