| FM 2013 Kickabout |
15:32:41 Feb 20th 13 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):
So moving onto the league cup final(yes im here again)
after wading my way through lower table prem teams and dominated Sporting Lisbon i meet the ever present Porto who once again are looking for dominate portuguese football not today porto not today! thats how you win a final(take note swifty friend)
and for this amazing feat i was awarded 500k..... a measly 500k god this country is poor
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17:29:49 Feb 20th 13 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):
tactical genius, golden touch. convincing 3-0 win, casa must be doing well in the league
oh wow the champions league, that means casa must have finished second or no it cant be.. 1st? surely not
oh ok he star man was out for a long time, i highly doubt he managed to top Porto then, 2nd is still a great achievement
2 players coming SECOND in the comp, im starting to see a picture here
double, double means 2 oh wait what, captured the premier league, no way
suck on my ball bags fellow fmers thanks to cock ups form Porto and Benfica i managed to sneak in, the league hasnt been won by such few points in many years, the last few seasons being 81,82,84,83
 keep the praise coming, i deserve it
 special mention to this guy, during the second half of the season my team was suffering from some kind of serious STD no doubt a homebrewed swifty std it spread like wild fire and at one point sidelined 9 players at once i was desperate and panic stricken, i raided the loan market, thankfully with a few hours left i managed to secure several players to bolster my squad including this beauty who fought to keep his place for the rest of the season scoring goals from the midfield thank you Lyon, pity you wont lower your 5mil transfer demand though...
champions league here i come!
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17:58:40 Feb 20th 13 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):
well thank you board
oh plz, 3 years in a row, stop youll make me blush!
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18:02:42 Feb 20th 13 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):
well this is a first, ive had several ex players break into the portugal national team but not a current player well done junior(actually a brazlian by birth)
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18:06:14 Feb 20th 13 - Stirlin (Dark Prince Stirlin):
more treats!
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17:56:53 Feb 22nd 13 - I am The Forgotten Legend:
1st half of my first year.
With some outstanding results and some terrible...
And then get buttf*cked since my scouts cant make proper reports! They say its a 5 star player and then I get this!
Also bought 2 new players nothing special.
I hope I get in the top 5 this season.. But I probably gonna have a Swift januari...
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03:47:19 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
We're back with the latest installment of First Division Dreams and FM being FM. In our last episode, you'll remember that we finished 6th and were cruelly denied a European spot when for the first time in a decade, the Taca Cup final was contested by two teams outside the top 2. I'm not ashamed to admit I was left distraught by the conclusion to our season and I spent many an hour afterwards roaming Oxfords forecourts in search of McDonalds to wallow in my misery. My wallet became lighter, my weight heavier and Brannigan became a very rich man indeed, only to squander it all on Nigerian stocks.
In the Taca Cup we had an incredibly easy run. After each draw was made, I would find myself before a mirror and asking the same question: "Am I Reed? Where has all this luck come from?", before looking myself up and down. Cool hair. Can't be him. Muscles that can quickly contract and retract to form winks and blinks. He wishes. Chinos? Not on my life, mate. It was me, alright. I was getting a easy run for once.
We made it to the 6th round without facing any PL opposition before we were drawn against Estoril. A sudden sickness overcomes you That's it, you feel faint. Your head starts to spin, the world around you begins to crumble then fade. Stark black and white lines zip across the room, form and twirl before your very eyes. We're going back in time a year.
Estoril had been relegated last season. They were now in the second division. And they still managed to beat me 2-1, knocking me out of the cup. I fucking hate Estoril. And Deco. And Bellendseses. And Benton. And Brann. Oh, and before you ask who went on to contest the Taca Cup final this year. Don't fucking bother.
In the League Cup we were drawn in the group phases vs. Vit Guim, Chaves [2nd div] and Bellendseseseses. Yes, Bellendeseseses. The team who along with Estoril, took a rather large dump on my hopes last season. We drew Bellendseseses, beat Chaves and lost to Vit. in the final game to finish 2nd. No progression. But on the bright side Bellendseseseses got relegated this year. Dickheads.
Our league form was pretty great. For 1/3 of it and from about game 15 onwards we were 1st. We occassionally dipped into 2nd when we had to play late kick offs, but otherwise we were secure in our position. The title push was helped after fantastic wins early in the season against Benfica and Sporting, but they clawed back late on. With 3 games to go we held 1st, 1 point ahead of 2nd and 2 ahead of 3rd. 3 wins and we'd be champions. So I checked the fixture list and rubbed my hands with glee. Who would we be playing?
Porto [1st the previous season]
Sporting Lisbon [3rd the previous season]
Vit. Guim [4th the previous season]
Oh.
Our first tie was against Sporting where we went 1-0 down to them before the black man drew us level and the game finished. We were now in second. Porto had over taken us and we played them next. A win would put us back in 1st, a draw or loss could see us fall to 3rd. It did. Black man missed so many golden opportunities. A 3-1 loss. Porto were crowned champions, Benfica snuck into 2nd and I played out my final game with a 1-0 win knowing 3rd was already secured.
It wasn't 1st, it doesn't mean Champions League football, but that'll do pig. That'll do.
As you would expect, I got manager of the year and my players were decorated for their efforts.
The basis of my success this season: My defence.
And finally, stadium news:
Basically, when the league finished my board came to me saying they had asked for planning permission and were once again turned down. I was pretty annoyed, so I gave it a few weeks before I went to the board myself and demanded a new one with some bullshit reason about money. They agreed and to my surprise, the council finally agreed.
Aboot fookin' time, mates.
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03:51:30 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
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10:50:44 Mar 1st 13 - Stirlin (Prince Stirling):
Guys did anyone see this little blunder? In manager of the year it shows Swifty only played 29 games in the league, there's 30 games in the league, so hes simmed a game, the bloody cheat
He's the simmer
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11:12:06 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
The only blunder is your own mate. Shows you don't read skype chat.
I said 2 days ago my game crashed between saves and I missed 2 games [a cup tie and league game]. I lost the cup tie and was knocked out and won the league game, then the game crashed.
So I did what any sporting man would do. I allowed the assistant manager to play out the 2 ties, losing the cup tie again and winning the league game again.
[A bit of the convo]
[27/02/2013 01:46:10] SWIFTY bigcock: tbf it will be shit if I reload and play estoril again
[27/02/2013 01:46:19] SWIFTY bigcock: ill go see where i was
[27/02/2013 01:48:05] SWIFTY bigcock: 2 games before the estoril game
[27/02/2013 01:48:32] SWIFTY bigcock: ill just deliberately lose the estoril game, so I end up where I was
[27/02/2013 01:48:35] Fordius: fuck fuck fuck
[27/02/2013 01:48:47] Fordius: now nomather what you do
[27/02/2013 01:48:48] Fordius: :D
[27/02/2013 01:48:49] Fordius: you'll win
[27/02/2013 01:48:57] SWIFTY bigcock: ill play a striker as my gk :P
[27/02/2013 01:49:37] SWIFTY bigcock: see if benton crashed, im sure he'd just play and win any games he lost
[27/02/2013 01:49:48] SWIFTY bigcock: not me. I crash, I deliberately lose the games I prev lost
[27/02/2013 01:49:50] SWIFTY bigcock: = mr fair
Send your apologies pls to PO BOX SWIFTY LGT 001. Thx.
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11:15:27 Mar 1st 13 - Stirlin (Prince Stirling):
excuses are like arseholes, everyone has one and they stink
you simmed
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11:18:23 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
Mate don't mad. Proves you don't read our chan. Reed/Ford knew I had to replay 2 games because of a crash.
Send your apologies pls to PO BOX SWIFTY LGT 001. Thx.
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11:19:24 Mar 1st 13 - Stirlin (Prince Stirling):
you find yourself going down the wrong path
turn back quickly and play the game the right way
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11:24:57 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
People who read our FM skype chan.
[X] Swifty
[X] Reed
[X] Ford
[X] TBL [Probably]
[ ] DANWELL
Send your apologies pls to PO BOX SWIFTY LGT 001. Thx
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11:48:01 Mar 1st 13 - Pure (Mr. The Better Half):
[X] Swifty
[X] Reed
[X] Ford
[X] TBL [Probably]
[ ] DANWELL
Didnt even include me an leg.
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16:35:31 Mar 1st 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
You said nice catch to Danwell. Clearly you don't read it either!
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01:34:05 Mar 2nd 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
So there I was, listening to my Will Smith CD, chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, doing my pre season and shit, when the Europa League draw is made. We're put into the playoff round, 2 games, 2 clubs, fighting it out for qualification to the group stages of the Europa League.
You might expect a shitty Irish team, or a backwater champion from some Eastern bloc nation. What you don't expect is for FM to FM and be drawn against Monaco, a team predicted to finish 2nd in Ligue 1.
Their players are absolute beasts. Their wages are astronomical. I'm going to get bent over, fucked and knocked out of Europe at the first hurdle. I hate FM sometimes.
I have the worst fucking luck ever.
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03:56:21 Mar 3rd 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
Readers of my posts will know that for a long time now, my Casa Pia side have had rotten luck when it's come to, well. Everything.
But one particular competition always manages test the "FM being FM" mantra to the extreme. The Taca Cup. And today, it's only gone and reared its ugly head. Again.
On the back of having the terrible Monaco draw, FM has drawn me against Porto in the third round. There's something like 60 teams in the draw, and once again I've managed to pull a PL team out of the hat at the first hurdle.
Over the last 5 years of the Taca Cup now, I've drawn:
23/24 - 3rd round - PL/Porto - TBC
22/23 - 6th round - 2nd div team - Knocked out
21/22 - 3rd round - PL/Braga - Knocked out
20/21 - 3rd round - PL/Aves - Knocked out
19/20 - 3rd round - PL/Sporting - Knocked out
If I was Christian Bruiant, I'd have sawn my arms off with the luck I've had.
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02:37:25 Mar 5th 13 - Mr. Mate Dont Mad:
Continuing on from the FM being FM theme and my cup runs:
As it turned out, Porto were the reigning Taca Cup champions. So drawing them in the 3rd round was proving to be more of a nuisance than anticipated. Against all expectations, we won and edged them out in a close encounter. 2-1, away from home. Not bad son, not bad.
So then I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. What non PL side would I draw in the 4th round? Over half the remaining teams were 2nd division or lower. Chances were surely in my favour?
Of fucking course not. I drew Maritimo. Another PL side. And I beat them 1-0. Away. Again.
So onto the 5th round of the Taca Cup. Just under half the teams remaining in the pot were, once again, 2nd division or lower. I rubbed my hands, I braced myself for the draw. And it squeezed my balls. Vit. Guim. A PL side, and a very good one at that.
So I sighed.
We got our shit together.
And we played.
We were dominating. 63 minutes, the American scores. 1-0 to the Pia. We're dominating. Time is running out. 75 minutes. 80. 75. 89. 9..oh fuck. 3 minutes of extra time.
FM BEING FM MODE ENGAGED
Out of nowhere, they get a penalty. I didn't see how, I still don't see how. They whipped the ball in, my goalkeeper cleared it behind. My defender gets penalized and a straight fucking red given. No, he didn't lunge. No, he didn't two foot or anything. Yes, there were defenders between him and the goal. Yes, he remained on his feet. Yet a penalty is given in added on time. They score. 1-1. We go to extra time and I'm down to 10 men.
So we go to extra time, and despite the man disadvantage I'm comfortable. I'm hoping for penalties, but I knew from set pieces I remained a threat. And we were. Midway through extra time we get a deep free kick. It's floated in. Antonio attacks it and gets a head to the ball before the goalkeeper arrives. 2-1! But wait -- what the actual fuck? The ref has flagged for a foul. I'm livid. It was a 100% legit goal, he didn't touch the goalie and the foul was given for backing into him.
So we get to the last minute of extra time. I'm hoping for penalites now. And you know what happens next. They score with 30 seconds to spare. I've been down to 10 men, had a goal disallowed, a soft penalty..and then this sucker punch.
I'm sent crashing out of the cup.
I've lost my shit.
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