Family History

Lady Swifty

Lived in Era 10 and got 1 heir(s) (Swifty).
Lady Swifty! Oh what a fine lass she was. Having been brought up in the tumbling hillsides of Humpland, as a young child she would often divulge in the country side, spending much time with her beloved native animals...then one day... SeZy stole her shaving kit... She got angry... Sent a horde of Horny Ducks after him and ended up spreading love throughout the world of VU.

TEH END.

Lady Swifty

Lived in Era 11, got 1 heir(s) (Swifty JR) and was a member of Paramount Warring Nobles of Time
Lady Swifty JR! Oh what a even finer lass she was. Having been brought up in the bustling streets of Wubland, as a young child she would often sell crack on street corners, spending much time with her beloved drug addicts...then one day... SeZy stole her thong... She got angry... Sent a horde of Ravaging Ducks after him and ended up spreading her legs throughout the world of VU.

TEH END.

Lady Swifty JR

Lived in Era 11, got 1 heir(s) (Engelbert Humperdinck) and was a member of Paramount Warring Nobles of Time
Born an lonesome child, Osiris teh Gothinator bumseks'd Lady Swifty, her mother, to death in her sleep. And in her dying moments, out of her womb sprung her daughter, Lady Swifty JR. "omg lyk wtfever1!!" said Lady Swifty JR, who beheaded the King of the Goths with one swoop of her large inflatable blow up sex doll, Englebert. And loads of stuff happened between then and her passing..but..you're not cool enough to know.

TEH END.

Sir Engelbert Humperdinck

Lived in Era 11 and got 1 heir(s) (Gary Glitter).
Engelbert Humperdinck, nuff' said.

TEH END.

Sir Gary Glitter

Lived in Era 12, got 1 heir(s) (Ann Widdecombe) and was a member of Legacy
Wriggling little naked boys were a favourite delicacy of Gary's.

TEH END.

Jester Ann Widdecombe

Lived in Era 13, got 1 heir(s) (Elton John) and was a member of Legacy
Ann, Ann, my dearest, beloved Ann. Ann was world-reknowned for her stunning good looks, her charming nature and well refined wit. She modelled womens lingerie, was a pin-up in the infamous "the Sun" newspapers page 3 and used to work as a dinner lady in her local Peckham primary school where she taught Osiris (who as you well know, later went on to heading the very successful goth-metal band "The Pandas") and SeZymon, the famed "Shaving Kit menace", who went about stealing shaving kits from un-suspecting members of the public. The where abouts of SeZymon is still unknown and he is still at large. No shaving kits were ever recovered.

Among other things, she liked to represent girl power, the Protection of Plankton Society (POPS) and appeared on B&Q television commercials. Oh, and part-time she worked as a politician, but that's nothing really.

Since retiring from modelling, Ann now resides in Munich, Germany, under the alias "Gertrude Flitshcop", dealing in the underground illegal bondage market.

TEH END.

Jester Elton John

Lived in Era 14, got 1 heir(s) (Richard Simmons) and was a member of Legacy
Hail, Mighty Elton John! Mightiest of all Elton Johns to have roamed the earth. All agree? Good. Then it is done.

TEH END.

Jester Richard Simmons

Lived in Era 15, got 1 heir(s) (David Thickinson) and was a member of Legacy
Sitting in deep thought upon the marble floor of his boudoir in the palace of Bumsbums (that, of which was erected many years prior to remember his ancestors), Richard Simmons reads quietly from the Book of Swifteh, an encyclopaedia coining the many words of Swifteh speak. Turning a page, for what can only be assumed the 100th time, Richard lets out a loud yawn and scratches the back of his head (that, of which, is a-joining to his neck for any perverts out there). Clearly exasperated, he closes the book and places it beside him on the floor and stands up. Richard checks his watch and rolls his eyes.

Unexpectedly he waves his hand airily aloft in a dull manner and whispers “Come hither, foe”. Out of one of the nearby cupboards rolls Fordius, seemingly dumbstruck and a dazed (that, of course is not to be expected, he is after all Dutch.)

“You’ve came to wrap me in bubble wrap and roll me about, one supposes?” queries Richard as Fordius gets up.

“no lolz..” returns Fordius, seemingly shocked having been found out.

“..Tickle me with feathers?” continues Richard.

“uh..haha no :)“ replies Fordius a few seconds later (that, of course, was most probably one of his prior intentions)

“Then..?”

“ive came 2 kill you!!” smiles Fordius with a toothless grin, whipping out a wooden spoon, charging at Richard.

So. Uh. Yeah. Richard goes kung-fu on his ass, beats the crap out of Fordius and teaches him not to spy on little boys again.

TEH END.